Deep Darkness

"Parents are all complete nutjobs." announced Kaido.

"Did something happen between you and your parents?" asked Mari.

"I said, ALL parents." Kaido told her, slightly embarrassed by the note of sympathy in her voice. He hated it when she tried to look after him. It totally ruined his image, "You know, like female animals, they're always the most dangerous,'cause they'll just kill ya to protect their young."

"Kaido, nobody has any clue what you're talking about when you start ranting on." Kaido's face turned bright red at her rebuke. He was seriously in danger of her getting the upper hand if things continued this way! "So, what started it off this time?"

"Uh... I was just thinkin' about Honda."

"Oh, Mr. Yasuyuki! How's he doing these days? We hardly see him!"

Kaido shrugged, "Don't know, don't care. I left him for good. I never wanna be involved in anything he does again."

"I thought he left you."

"What did he tell ya?"

"He said you two were being heckled by civilians, and you snapped and started attacking them, even though they didn't have COMPs."

Kaido snorted, "Lying bastard. Those corporate types always know how to twist the truth around. Let me tell ya what really happened."

"If you must." I'm really not winning this, he thought, I've already lost my temper with her, and now she's humouring me.

"Yeah, I got into a fight. Look, they would have killed me if they could. I maybe shouldn'ta tried to kill them but I was just in a blind rage. You know how I can get. Its not good, but its how I am. Honda, though..." said Kaido, "He was trying to kill them just as hard. He was cool as ever, though. Knew exactly what he was doing. They were just obstacles in his way, like the barricades. No, not even that. He said 'I hope you were aware this would happen to you'. It was just cause and effect to him. He's the effect, and the cause is... uh, I dunno... everything. Everything you say or do when you're around him."

"You make him sound like a real psychopath." said Mari, "I always thought he was nice. He was always so worried about his son."

"Heh, I thought so too. That's why I hung around him so much. He's honest. Well, he's a lying bastard, but he's honest about being a lying bastard. He's human." said Kaido, "Well, he was, until he turned into a walking fate worse than death."

"A... a what?" Mari stared at him like he had gone mad, "Kaido, you don't believe in fate."

"No, I don't. Well, I don't believe in God, or destiny. I'm my own master and I make my own future. I'm saying that the future Honda makes... its gonna be a really bad future, no matter what."

"You don't like Honda because he's... unlucky?"

"Don't laugh at me! Ain't ya been listening to what I'm saying?" he snapped, causing her to look even more amused, "He does it on purpose! He finds the worst possible thing he can do and then goes and does it! I..." he bowed his head, "I kinda realised that, as I followed him. More and more people were telling us, don't try and escape the Lockdown, haven't you heard the rumours? The Government will nuke us all if anyone escapes! Angels will come down from the heavens and kill us all!"

"Well, they said that would have happened anyway, if the Lockdown didn't end in seven days. Maybe he just thought, at least he would see his son again. I don't think he knew any other way to save himself."

"You still don't get it. He didn't CARE." said Kaido, "He wouldn't even let me say anything around him like 'what if escaping the Lockdown is a bad idea?'. He didn't try and plan anything beyond wanting to see his son. He didn't even care if he got everyone killed because of his actions! I heard the next team he banded with, he got them all killed by angels. If he saw what he thought was a weak point in the barricade, he would just run for it. I... I think if he knew without a doubt it would have ended badly, he would still do it."

"He just sounds like he's lousy at planning. Why does that made him a 'walking fate worse than death'?" Mari asked, "If you saw me in danger and you knew you might die, or someone else might die, you'd still come and save me, right?"

"Well, okay, yeah, but..." he bit back a curse. Mari really was a dirty fighter in an argument, she would appeal to everything in his nature, even his protective urges towards her, "I guess it was when I first saw that look in his eyes."

"What look in his eyes?"

"You've never seen him, when something actually does go wrong. When he fails at an escape attempt, or even when someone suggests that it might fail. Or, worst of all, if you say that he might be too late by now." Kaido inwardly shuddered, remembering that cold, deep darkness, like there was something hanging over his head, "He looked like he was about to give everyone a fate worse than death right there and then, maybe even on purpose. He just... he really didn't look human."

"Kaido, I think that might be just Honda." said Mari, "I don't think all fathers are like him."

"Maybe, but they're all nuts. The way they care more about their kids than anything. Except the ones who don't care about their kids. They're worse."

"Hey, Kaido..."

"What? Don't look at me like that!"

"If I was a mother, do you think I'd turn out the same way?"

"Wh... GAAH! Don't just suddenly say things like that! Um... no, I didn't mean you would be a bad parent!" he yelled, blushing deep red, "I just... can we change the subject?"

I never win these arguments, thought Kaido, maybe I just shouldn't open my mouth.