A/N: I was looking throuh my old music and I found this song. "Run" by Amy MacDonald. Everyone takes a different meaning from it, but this is what I get from it. It's a really good song, though, and I would recommend listening to it.

Sarah x


Jenny Shepard was in Gibbs' car on the way to work. For the time being, she was under protective custody. Apparently, Gibbs' team didn't take kindly to death threats. There were times she just felt like she'd had enough of all of this. Not to mention the pain she was inflicting on herself and Jethro by just being around him. "Put some music on if you want," Gibbs offered unexpectedly, interrupting her thoughts. "Ziva left some CD's in the glove box. She complains because the radio doesn't work in this thing," he added with a small chuckle.

Jenny skimmed through the glove compartment and found an imported CD that she recognised from the internet. "Since when does Ziva like Scottish folk music?" she asked.

Gibbs just shrugged as she put the CD in the player and put it on shuffle. The song started playing and Jenny actually liked this music. She smiled slightly and she looked out the window, comfortable in the sense of safety the Gibbs exuded. Her smile faded quickly and she looked down, remembering those weeks after leaving Jethro in Paris.

Will you tell me when the lights are fading
Cos I can't see, I can't see no more
Will you tell me when the song stops playing
Cos I can't hear, I can't hear no more

She stopped paying attention to where she was for a while when she left. She remembered not noticing the time and ignoring the radio in stores. All she had wanted was to survive. And this music was bringing it all back. She didn't dare switch the song as Gibbs would know something was wrong. That was one conversation she wanted to avoid.

Instead, she continued her action of gazing out the window. This was not good. It was a matter of time before Jethro asked why she was so quiet. Normally, nobody could shut her up long enough to get a word in edgeways.

She said I don't know what you're living for
She said I don't know what you're living for at all
He said I don't know what you're living for
He said I don't know what you're living for at all

Jenny gave an inward laugh at the irony of the timing. Just a minute ago, she'd been asking herself if this was worth living for. No relationship, no family…what was she living for? Her job?

Gibbs looked around only to find the back of Jenny's head. What he didn't know was that there were silent tears running down her cheeks. The song had hit her hard, it appeared. He turned his attention back to the road when he nearly hit the car in front of them. Traffic jam. Great.

Jenny sighed privately. This meant Gibbs would have more time to notice that this song was affecting her. This couldn't end well. Could it?

But I will run until my feet no longer run no more
And I will kiss until my lips no longer feel no more
And I will love until my heart it aches
And I will love until my heart it breaks
And I will love until there's nothing more to live for.

It then occurred to her that she was living for others, rather than herself. She loved her friends so much that when they hurt, so did she. And she loved Gibbs so much that it was breaking her heart. But her heart wasn't totally broken yet. She would love him until her heart was shattered. She would kiss him until her lips went numb, if she had the chance.

The day that everyone on that team died would be the day she would give up and join them. As long as one remained, so did she.

Gibbs stared intently at the back of Jenny's head. "What's up, Jen?" he raised his voice slightly to be heard over that music.

Will you tell me when the fighting's over
Cos I can't take, I can't take no more
Will you tell me when the day is done
Cos I can't run, I can't run no more

She didn't answer. She was lost in thought again. She didn't like the fights she had with Jethro. She didn't like the fight she'd had with Tony about Jeanne, either, since it had put a massive strain on their friendship. She couldn't do any more fighting. All she wanted was to see the day through and still be there at the end. She didn't want to chase anyone anymore.

"Jenny!" Gibbs said sharply, in order to catch her attention. She still didn't face him. He gave up and just listened to the music. Having had Ziva playing it in the car so often, he could sing along to every song.

She said I don't know what you did it for
She said I don't know what you did it for at all
He said I don't know what you did it for
He said I don't know what you did it for at all

As Jethro's voice mingled with the young Scot's, Jenny felt like he was asking her why she left. It was like he was saying that he didn't know why she did it. She did it because she didn't want to get hurt. He was going to marry Stephanie, and she didn't want to come second, or break up their relationship. She wanted to leave them to try and be happy.

Jenny couldn't take it anymore. "Jethro, will you be quiet, please?" she requested throatily. She realised that there were tears on her cheeks and wiped them away hastily. He was not going to see her cry. Nobody was going to see her crying.

"Hey," he whispered, tapping her shoulder. "Look at me."

She turned around on his orders and pushed her hair away from her face. "What, Jethro?" she demanded, wanting to turn away from hi so he couldn't see her tear-stained cheeks.

But I will run until my feet no longer run no more
And I will kiss until my lips no longer feel no more
And I will love until my heart it aches
And I will love until my heart it breaks
And I will love until there's nothing more to live for.

He wiped away the wetness from her face and asked, "Why are you crying?" He was actually worried about her. She normally refused to cry, at least when she wasn't alone. Jenny looked absently at the car in front as she sang along to the chorus. "Jenny," he warned. "Tell me what's wrong," he commanded.

"Just the song, making me think. Doesn't matter," she muttered. The song was nearly finished, anyway. Gibbs gave her the stare, trying to see why it affected her in such a way. She had basically told him to shut up when she started singing along to it, yet she had been singing part of the chorus.

And I will love until my heart it aches
And I will love until my heart it breaks
And I will love until there's nothing more to live for.

When the song ended, Gibbs shut off the CD player and stared at Jenny. They weren't going anywhere fast in the DC traffic jam. Understanding that she really was hurting, he put his arm around her shoulders. For once, she didn't struggle away from him, though that was probably due to the lack of room she had to manoeuvre in. "What were you thinking about?" he tried to get it out of her.

"Me, then the team, then you," she answered, shaking her head. "I'm being an idiot."

"How so?" he asked. This was weird. Jenny normally loved music of any kind. She could play piano and guitar, she could sing. So why had this song stopped her in her tracks.

"I just don't know what I'm living for," she sighed. "At first I thought all I live for is my job, but then I thought that I'm not actually living for myself. I'm living for my friends. And then I was asking myself why I left you in the first place and…" she trailed off.

"That's why you asked me to stop singing," he concluded. Of course. To her, it must have felt like he was asking her why she left him. "You do live for your job, you know. We all do," he added. "But that's not all you have."

"What else have I got, huh?" she demanded. "I blew it with you. I ruined any friendship I had with Tony. All I have is my job and Ziva."

"And me," he amended her assumption. "You have me. I'm always gonna be there, Jenny. And Tony will get over what happened. It's not your fault he fell in love with her and he knows it."

Jenny's head snapped up and their faces were barely an inch apart. Gibbs moved his head so that his lips brushed with Jenny's. Jenny instinctively pressed her lips to his and deepened the kiss. Her hands had become tangled in Gibbs' hair and they were gasping for air when they were disrupted by a car horn. The traffic was moving, so Gibbs had to concentrate on the road again. "Stop running, Jen," he said to her as he pushed her hair out of her eyes. "You have enough to live for."

Jenny smiled slightly and kissed his cheek. "Thank you," she replied simply, knowing that he understood the meaning behind the words. He had destroyed her calculations and added in exactly what she had and could have. She laid her head on his shoulder, more contented than she'd been in years.

Gibbs rotated his head to kiss her hair as they entered the Navy Yard. "Don't forget that you're still under protection."

She sighed and smiled a little. There was no way she was getting away from him today and, for the first time in so long, she was glad that he was a bit too protective of his team and his boss. More time to just be with each other. While she got out of the car, she made a mental note to compliment Ziva on her taste in music. It would be worth it just to see the look on her face.


Hope you liked it!

Please review!

Sarah x