A/N: Hello reader's new and old, this story bit me and wouldn't let go, but don't worry, Cooking lessons will be updated in an hour or so. This story would be just one chapter but my Beta Withdemonwings convinced me to make it longer. Without her I'd probably never get anything finished. (plus she's an awesome writer go read her stuff)
Chapter One: Finn's a Dick.
"This is ridiculous," Finn ranted. "Why do I have to stay in?"
"Because they want to know we're safe, all things considered, it's not a great deal to ask." Kurt tried to placate him.
"I don't give a shit, they've gone off for a dirty weekend, and in the same breath stop me from getting any."
"I'm not aloud out either," Kurt pointed out.
"So, it's not like anyone wants to date you. I have to be stuck in the house with a stupid homo freak, you better not try and fucking touch me in my sleep, fucking fag."
"Fuck you Finn. You think I want to be trapped with some homophobic dickwad like you? And I wouldn't touch you with someone else's cock, let alone mine."
"Screw this, I'm going out."
Kurt winced, as the front door was slammed hard as Finn made his dramatic exit. Drawing a deep breath to fight off the tears that were threatening to fall, he attempted to calm himself. "I just wish he could understand me, not be able to talk over me and just listen."
Outside a lady, with a bad skin condition, smiled wickedly and whispered "done."
Five minutes later the doorbell rang, and Kurt answered it reluctantly; he never liked answering the door when he was home alone. Much to his surprise, sitting on the mat, in a wicker basket was a baby. Kurt hurriedly looked around to see if he could fine who ever had left the baby there. On finding no one Kurt picked the carrier the baby was in and the bag that had been left too. When he reached the sitting room Kurt gingerly placed the still sleeping baby carrier and all on the sofa and sat on the floor in front of it just in case.
In the bag was a few baby grows some formula tins and empty bottles, along with a pack of nappies and wipes. Pined to the bag its self was a scrap of paper. It said simply "Finn."
"Sweet Gucci, you're Finn's baby."
The baby began to whimper as he woke, no doubt working up to crying. Kurt jump to his feet and lifted the child gently into his arms.
"Well then Little Man, your Daddy isn't here at the moment, but don't worry your uncle Kurt will take care of you," Kurt rested the baby on his shoulder and grabbed the bag heading for the kitchen. Only to be interrupted by the bell ringing again.
"Little Man, if you have any brothers or sisters I may scream, just to warn you."
But this time the door revealed not a baby, but Noah Puckerman.
"What do you want Puck?" Kurt asked tensely. "Finn's not here."
"He said he had to stay in this weekend," Puck said defensively.
"He was supposed to, but decided to see if Rachel would let him get to second."
"Mind if I stay?" Puck's eyes flashed with a vulnerability that was rarely seen. "I don't want to go home."
"Sure, I guess. But if you could not try and kill me just now, I have Little Man to look after," Kurt stepped aside to let Puck pass.
Puck followed Kurt into the kitchen in silence. "Cute kid," Puck commented sitting at the breakfast bar. "Who's is he?"
"Isn't he just? I think he's Finn's, he was left on the door step." Kurt said trying to read the instructions on the formula.
"Let me hold him while you do that," Puck offered.
Kurt eyed him warily. Puck huffed, "I'm not going to hurt a baby."
Kurt must have seen the sincerity in Puck's eyes because he handed over the baby, who was still quiet, although awake.
"So what did Finn really leave for?" Puck asked perceptively.
Kurt sighed and shook the bottle. "He didn't want to catch the gay, I guess."
Puck growled. "He said that?"
"Along those lines," Kurt held his arms out to take the baby and was surprised when Puck took the bottle out of his hands and coaxed the baby to drink.
"He's such a dick."
Kurt snorted a laugh, "Noah Puckerman, such language in front of a child."
"Sorry," Puck said chastised. "You can keep calling me that if you like. Noah I mean."
"Only if you call me Kurt." He offered, giving Noah a small smile.
"But Princess suits you so well," Noah teased.
Kurt rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Where did you learn to feed a baby?"
"I used to look after my little sister, she's seven now."
"Any ideas on how old Little Man is?" Kurt asked curiously.
Noah shrugged his shoulders, "Have you thought to check the labels on his clothes? They usually have an age group on them."
"Ugg, I'm so dumb," Kurt complained fishing though the bag again. "He's 3 to 6 months apparently."
"Then he'll be okay to have some food then too, not much, like, mashed banana or something, as long as it's soft."
"Right, um I can cook some mashed potatoes and then mashed banana for afters." Kurt mused aloud, "And I can make us a Sheppard's pie with green beans and, what would you like for desert?" Kurt asked Noah.
"I can stay?" Noah asked surprised.
Kurt looked nervous for the first time. "As long as you're comfortable being here, its fine. I won't tell anyone, so no-one will think anything happened."
"Finn really is a dick. Look Humm... Kurt, I know I wasn't the nicest of people to you, but I never, not once, picked on you because you were gay. I couldn't give a flying..." Noah looked down at the inquisitive baby in his arm,. "um a flying, um... rubber duck that you're gay. Hell I'm impressed that you managed to figure it out accept it and demand the rest of the world does too, all by the time your 16."
Kurt blushed, "Thank you, why did you then?"
"Huh?" Noah asked stupidly.
"Why did you pick on me, if it wasn't because I was gay?" Kurt had his back to Noah now, deftly chopping and preparing the simple meal.
Noah stood and lifted the baby to his shoulder, patting his back to wind it. "I teased you, because ever since I can remember, I thought you were very pretty when you blushed."
That only served to make Kurt blush still more. "There's nothing else we can do for twenty minutes or so now, do you want to watch a DVD or something?" Kurt offered, changing the subject rather than try and think of something to say to that
"How about you tell me about Finn, I'll try and talk to him." Kurt smiled weakly and held his arms out for the baby, he needed a cuddle.
Noah handed over the baby and led Kurt to the sofas, "Talk Princess."
"He thinks I'd molest him in his sleep, as if." Kurt blurted.
"Well, you are in love with him," Noah said a hint of sadness in his voice.
"No, I'm not, I never was. Don't get me wrong, he's cute, in a way 'my IQ is barely larger than my shoe size' kind of way. But he's not my type. And even if I was in love with him, I'd never come on to someone I know is straight. Hell, I'd probably struggle to come on to anyone. For all the confidence people think I have, I don't know if I could actually flirt or ask some guy out."
"But everyone knew you were crushing on him; you were being all nice and smiling and stuff." Noah said confused.
"I was nice to him because I was trying to set our parents up. That's all, it's not my fault he thinks that if a gay man is nice to you they want to fuck you." Kurt sighed.
"So, you don't want to fuck him?" Noah teased.
"Can anyone say stamina?" Kurt smirked. "The girls consider me one of them, I get all the stories, according to them, if he last's long enough to get in, it's a miracle."
Noah laughed heartily, but sobered quickly. "Do they tell stories about me?" He asked self-conitosly.
"Of course they do, you big stud you," Kurt grinned and, much to his delight, Noah blushed.
"I'll talk to Finn," Noah promised. "And you shouldn't worry about asking guys out, you'll have them lining up to ask you out. You'll never have to worry about it, and for flirting, you do that all the time, even if you don't know it."
"Thanks, do I really flirt?" Kurt asked rhetorically, "I guess I do." Kurt sighed, "As for Finn, you don't need to talk to him, I just wish he wouldn't join in when the jocks decided to beat me up. I just wish he would try and be my brother. I know my being gay is a problem for him. It would probably gross out a lot of straight guys to think about two men together. He talks about Rachel all the time, and doing stuff with her, that makes me feel sick. But I've never talked about sex in front of him, or left porn mags everywhere." Kurt handed the baby back to Noah, "I have to go get the rest of dinner on."
Twenty minutes later the three of them were sat around the kitchen table, eating their meals. Noah made Kurt blush again by moaning when he took a mouth full of the Sheppard's pie.
They took turns feeding Little Man, but he still managed to get more food over him than in him.
"Let's give him a bath. We can use my bathroom downstairs. Will you go down and I'll lock up." Kurt asked.
"I can stay?" Noah asked shocked again.
"If you don't want to go home you can stay as long as you like." Kurt promised, "Even after my Dad gets home."
Noah couldn't resist he leant over and kissed Kurt on the cheek, "Thank you Kurt."
When Noah and Little Man had disappeared down to the basement, Kurt lifted his hand and rested it on the spot where Noah had kissed him. "My goodness," He whispered.
Bath time was a laugh for all of them, Little Man started to make gurgling noises and giggling, splashing water all over Noah and Kurt. To Noah's surprise, Kurt didn't get annoyed that his designer shirt was all wet, he just laughed along with Little Man.
Kurt dressed Little Man in a cute white all in one and placed him in the middle of the bed. "If we sleep either side of him, he won't fall," Kurt suggested.
"Another good plan Princess," Noah complimented, as he stripped off his shirt and jeans, thankful he'd thought to wear boxers today.
Noah couldn't help but stare when Kurt followed his example, and stripped down to his red silk boxers.
When they had all settled into the thankfully large bed, Kurt found himself falling asleep rather easily, just on the cusp on sleep he heard Noah calling his name.
"Yeah?" He mumbled sleepily.
"Kurt, would you go to the movies with me?"
"Sure, who else did you invite?" Kurt asked his eyes still closed, the sound of a sleeping baby lulling him into slumber.
"Just you and me, a date Princess, what do you think?" Noah's voice was betraying the nerves he felt.
"I'd like that Noah, especially if I get more kisses." Kurt was more asleep then awake now, so didn't hear Noah's soft laugh, and thought he'd dreamt the gentle kiss on his head.
Please review, I'm going to sleep in a little while and I adore waking up to lots of messages, and... I promise, if I get um, 25 reviews when I wake up, I'll post the next chapter tomorrow. (I say when I wake up so I have time to write it ) I know it's begging, I don't do it often, but I really do love reviews.