How did he end up here? If only Julian knew. He and Logan had been yelling at each other, each resonating insult tearing a piece out of the actor's heart.
The arguing was usual, the subject irrelevant. All Julian remembered was saying "I'm not letting you do this to me anymore, Wright. I'm leaving."
"Yeah, okay Larson. Blame this all on me. You know what? Fuck you. Fuck you and your constant leaving." Logan yelled in response.
"You. don't. know. anything." Julian replied, his voice now deadly quiet. Without giving Logan a chance to respond, he walked calmly into his room, locking the door behind him, and gave in to the tears.
Logan fumed around the Stuart common room for a while longer, not even attempting to redirect his thought, until he couldn't stand it anymore: he had to give Julian another piece of his mind. He didn't know anything? Julian was the one always leaving. He was the clueless one.
Without bothering to knock, Logan attempted to break into his friend's room but found the door to be locked.
"Open the door, Julian." He shouted through the offending obstacle.
"Fuck off." Julian tried to keep his voice strong, hoping to hide the sound of his tears. Unfortunately, an ill-placed crack in his voice gave him away.
"Jules? Are you okay?" No answer. "Fuck. I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything I said. You know what I prick I can be." Still no answer.
"Jules, open the fucking door or I'll break it down."
Instead of waiting to find out whether the blonde boy was lying, Julian put on a brave face and opened the door to reveal a distressed-looking Logan.
"Shit Wright, could you be any louder?"
"Don't change the subject, Jules. What's going on?"
"Nothing you should worry your royal head over." Julian rolled his eyes and made to shut the door, but Logan caught it. The movement brought him so close to the other boy that he could feel the heat radiating off the blonde's body, causing his heart to start beating considerably faster.
"Why don't you stop pretending to care about anyone but yourself and go chase Hummel around some more?" He went to shut the door again and this time Logan let him, shaking his head as he left to find Derek.
"Why does everyone keep telling me not to worry about anything?" Logan fumed, "I do care about you guys."
"Just not enough for some of us." Derek mumbled, but Logan was too busy raging to hear him.
"You are my friends. Of course I care if you're upset." He sighed, "Am I really that oblivious?"
"You have no idea how much." Derek mumbled again. Logan heard, but couldn't understand.
"Nothing. Look, it's Julian's business whether he tells you or not. I can't change his mind and I'm not going to betray his trust by telling you. Go bother him some more if you care so much."
And that's exactly what he did.
This time when he tried the door, it was open. Julian was inside, surrounded by half-packed suitcases.
"You're actually leaving?"
Julian looked up. "Yeah. New movie deal. I'm leaving tonight." The words caused a pain somewhere near Logan's stomach.
"Don't go." The words were out of his mouth before he even realized that was what he wanted. But one he said it, Logan knew that was exactly what he wanted. He didn't want Julian to leave; everything sucked when he was gone.
"Yeah, okay." Julian snorted, using every ounce of acting talent he had to keep his face impassive. If only Logan knew how much he wished he meant it.
"Seriously, Jules." Logan said, moving into the room. "There will be plenty more movies. I need you here."
Julian stopped his packing and looked up at the boy he had loved for so long, anger bubbling to the surface.
"Need me for what? So I can set you up with someone else again? So I can watch on the sidelines while you chase after another boy. So you're done with Hummel now. It won't be long before there's someone else who catches your attention and you'll be off frolicking in the happy land of what could be. No thanks, I'll take the movie deal."
An idea slowly crept into Logan's mind. No, that wasn't possible. Julian Larson was Hollywood's biggest player: always with a new girl. But no matter how impossible an idea, it wouldn't detach itself from Logan's thoughts.
"Julian, you're straight, right?"
"I like girls, yes." Julian said, his heart speeding up again. He hoped Logan hadn't noticed the panic in his eyes at first. There was no way he was doing this now.
"That wasn't a complete answer, Larson."
"I don't see why my sexuality is suddenly of interest to you. Don't you have someone else to bother?"
"If I didn't know better, I'd say you were avoiding the question."
"Okay, okay. Yes, I've thought about guys romantically before-" and fell in love with one "-If that makes me bi, then whatever, but I'm not a fan of labels."
Logan sat down on his friend's bed next to an open suitcase. Silence settled between to two as he sifted through Julian's packed things.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he finally asked.
"I didn't think it was important. I still don't understand why it matters to you whether I like boys or girls."
"No, Jules. Why didn't you tell me how you feel about me?" Luckily Logan wasn't looking when Julian's jaw dropped, giving him a moment to compose himself.
"I thought I made it quite clear I think you're an insufferable asshole." He said, "I tell you it on a daily basis. I'm not sure how to make it more obvious than that."
"Julian, stop trying to cover ass. I know you're in love with me. Now why didn't you tell me?"
The actor took a deep breath and tried to ward off the panic. This was his big moment. He could get through this. But how the fuck did Logan even find out? He never paid attention to anyone besides Hummel. Another deep breath for courage and Julian was ready to confess.
"Look, I don't know how you found out and that doesn't really matter. I never told you because I always knew what your reaction would be. I don't need to actually experience it. Our friendship definitely never needed that extra tension. I don't have the slightest chance and I've accepted that so I'm leaving. Since you, technically speaking, are my friend, you need to accept that and let me go."
"So there's nothing I can do to make you stay?"
With a shaky breath, Julian shook his head sadly. "This is my problem. I need to deal with it."
With a heavy sigh Logan stood up from the bed and offered his hand to his friend. After only a moment's hesitation, Julian took it.
"Well, bye then Jules. I'll watch for you on the TV."
Julian let out a soft laugh. "See you around, Lo."
With that, Logan walked out of his room and out of his life for the last time.
Bailey smiled to himself, having listened to the whole thing. This was something he could actually fix. All he had to do was dig out a certain CD that had been recorded at the Valentine's Day Fair and left behind. With a little help from the Brightman twins, it was all too simple. The seed was planted; all it needed was a little nurturing to get it to bloom.
Logan returned to his room, his shoulders weighed down as if they had absorbed all the information he had just discovered. How could he have been so clueless? It wasn't as if he didn't care about Julian. But he had always been his straight best friend. He'd never even had a chance to see him as anything other than that. His frustration escaped his body in the form of a groan. Why did Julian have to leave it up to him to convince him to stay? It wasn't his fault Julian had kept his feelings a secret.
His pale green eyes searched the familiar room for a distraction. They fell on an unfamiliar object sitting on his desk. Under closer inspection, he it was an unmarked CD that he did not have any recollection of owning. His curiosity peaked, Logan put the CD in his stereo and pressed play.
After a short musical intro, a voice he would recognize anywhere rang out. It was so full of emotion that Logan couldn't help but actually listen, each word clawing its way into his heart. He put the song on repeat, each subsequent play bringing a realization closer to the surface.
Everything was moving so quickly. Just a few hours ago, Julian had only liked girls and he had been completely oblivious to his best friend's feelings. Things had been so much simpler.
It wasn't until Julian's song was playing for the eighth time that Logan's emotions finally worded themselves in his mind. Six words that would almost certainly change his life.
"You love him. Go get him."
That's all it took to get Logan off his bed and out his door. He rushed to Julian's room and opened the door without knocking.
His eyes, darker green now with excitement, fell on nothing but an empty room. The dresser drawers were open and bare and the bed was made. Logan sat down on the crisp comforter and put his head in his hands, sighing with disappointment. Of course he was too late. He was always too late.
Time lost all meaning as Logan sat there, holding his head. It could have been hours or just minutes before a voice broke through the silence.
"Can I help you?" it said, and Logan let out a relieved laugh. He looked up to find Julian standing in the door way to his own room.
"You're a self-absorbed diva." Logan said, standing up to walk toward the other boy.
"Thanks so much." Julian rolled his eyes, used to the verbal abuse thrown at him. "So why are you here?"
"I can't believe you were going to leave." Another step closer.
"I'm still going. I just came back to get this." He picked up a framed picture that Logan hadn't noticed before.
"No you're not. I won't let you leave." All he got for a reply was a roll of Julian's brown eyes and Logan took another step closer, bringing them nearly face to face. At this point Julian actually look scared.
"Lo, don't do this." He warned, but Logan didn't hesitate to bring his hand up to cup Julian's cheek.
"You know, I did think of you like this sometimes. I knew I was wasting my time, though. You can't blame me; you were supposed to be straight."
"I can't, Logan. Please just stop."
"Jules, I know this may be hard, but I need you to stop being an idiot for two seconds and listen to what I'm saying." Julian snorted, momentarily returned to his normal state of mind.
"I want you to stay because I love you." Julian let out a shaky laugh, attempting to relieve his tension. "Even though you're an arrogant prick."
This time a more genuine laugh fell from Julian's lips and Logan offered a soft smile in return. There was a moment when brown eyes stared longingly into green ones and then they simultaneously leaned in until their lips met.
It'd be impossible to tell who enjoyed the kiss more: the one who had been waiting for it since his freshman year, or the one who hadn't even realized his desire until it was staring him in the face, begging to be fulfilled. Both of them knew that this relationship wouldn't be easy: a mutual feeling of affection wouldn't change the fact they could never see eye to eye. There would be explosive fights and many near-break ups. But afterwards they were sure to come back to each other. They may argue about everything, but the truth was that they were pieces of a puzzle, made to fit perfectly with the other.