Female Hawke mage, eventual Fenris romance. Rated M for language, violence, sexual content, and suggestive themes. This is my first piece of fan fiction, so reviews are welcome and hoped for. Bioware owns everything, naturally.
Fenris learned late that night that Aveline had beaten Anders within an inch of his life. She had only let him live because Hawke had not killed him, and that meant something. Apparently, the mage did not fight back, didn't try to defend himself or heal himself. Anders was in disgrace. He'd sent a message around to the estate, filled with sniveling apologies for what he had done, as if that could make up for anything! When he gave her the note, she threw it away without reading it and growled that she had to seal his entrance to her home.
Instead, she spent the early part of the day in bed with Fenris, almost disappointed (in a warm sort of way) that he hadn't pressed his advantage. No matter how sick she felt about what happened with Anders yesterday, she couldn't deny that she was admiring the way lean muscles rippled across the chest and belly of her lyrium wolf. She smiled at the absent way he trailed his fingers up and down her arm, seeming content just to hold her. Still, the silence was charged with something awkward. Something he would never force from her; she would have to give it to him on her own. So she did.
Fenris felt the burning hand of white-hot rage squeezing his heart as Hawke relayed her account of the two days she had been gone. She tried to make it sound like the abomination hadn't really used her, hadn't really taken advantage of her when she was most vulnerable. Unbidden, his tattoos lit the room. The shame that rode Selene's tone enraged him. The way she tried to defend him, insisting that she would have died had he not been there. Faugh! She would never have been in danger if he had not dragged her there! He should never have sent Aveline to find Anders. Fenris would never have spared the abomination's miserable, twisted life. Not after he had forced himself on his sweet little mage. His muscles twitched with unresolved violence.
Selene filled his vision as she propped herself up on one elbow to stare down at him, beautiful and angelic as ever, but there was a haunted look that lingered in her eyes. He smiled tenderly and reached up to cup her cheek. He was surprised when she leaned into his touch, surprised that she had slept so close to him last night, never breaking contact. He was surprised that she was able to trust him after what Anders had done; surprised that she was able to trust any man after what she had been through.
"Yes, love?" He tried to be gentle, but his voice sounded rough to his ears.
"You understand why I let him live, don't you?" She couldn't look him in the eye as she asked him this.
"No. You were too merciful by half. I've come to expect that from you, I suppose, but Aveline…She surprised me. I never expected her to be lenient." He trembled violently, and Hawke laid a cool hand against his forehead, calming him. A little.
"Anders was as a brother to me." He could hear the revulsion in her voice. "I can never forgive him. Never that. I would as soon never look upon his face again, but I cannot kill him."
"Can I? He put your life in danger. He betrayed-"
"I have already killed one brother." Her voice was quiet, but her words seemed to echo around the room.
A million retorts raced through Fenris' mind. He is not your brother! He is an abomination! He raped you! Although he wasn't sure the last was strictly accurate, it didn't matter. He went against her wishes and took the choice away from her. There was no punishment strong enough; no favor great enough that would earn that man his life back. Still, when he imagined Selene crying over her father, then her sister, then Carver, and Leandra; when he thought of her as she was when she came back from the Deep Roads, he remained silent. He thought the effort might kill him. It was almost worth it when she smiled sweetly. He hadn't thought to see smiles from her so soon.
"You are trying so hard to be supportive." Her voice was warm, the barest whisper of amusement played around the edge. "I want you to understand something, Fenris." Her smile turned feral and her eyes became green ice. "Death would have been merciful. Do not doubt that I hate him for what he did." Her voice broke and Fenris caught a tear as it slipped down her cheek. "But I want him to live, to suffer. I don't know what I'm going to do to him, but before I am done he will pray for death. Then, if you want, you can kill him. He'll hate that."
Fenris smiled and hugged her tight, crushing her to his chest. "That's my girl."
Hawke sighed and hugged him back. Beneath the warm beat of his heart, she could hear his stomach growl. "Do you want breakfast?" She asked, resting her chin on his chest.
"I am a man. I always want breakfast." It was true. Fenris loved the smell of a warm kitchen in the morning. If normal had a smell…
"To the kitchen, then." Hawke smiled, sliding her body along his as she rose to her hands and knees. She loomed over him for a long moment, an unfathomable expression on her face before bouncing off the bed and padding behind the privacy screen to change out of her nightdress.
Fenris watched with a dry mouth as the silhouette of Selene undress. He felt like a cad for admiring her full curves and narrow waist. Her legs seemed impossibly long for such a small person. She was beauty and grace incarnate, and she was showing amazing strength and resilience. She seemed more upset about losing Anders' friendship than anything. He could not understand it.
She came out a moment later wearing a tight-fitting white cotton camisole and a pair of baggy black cotton pants. Fenris wondered briefly if it would be wrong to try to lure her back into bed. He discarded the thought with a regretful sigh and got out of bed. He never did find another shirt, and after a night of sleep, his pants hung loose on his hips. She must think he looked lie a slob, but he stood up straight, squaring his shoulders confidently when he felt her eyes lick over him. He didn't know what about him she found attractive, how he was lucky enough to be the one to earn her love and her trust, but he wanted to do something special for her. He followed eagerly after her when she threw a smile over her shoulder and padded to the kitchen.
Hawke sat a bemused Fenris down at the table as she bustled around the kitchen, gathering ingredients from the pantry. It felt good to her to do something as normal as making breakfast for the man she loved. It had a calming effect on her nerves. All she wanted to do was fall into Fenris' arms and beg him to make love to her and wash away the memory of Andres' touch, make her forget the way he had forced his way into her mind. She felt like the mage had tried to drive a wedge between her and Fenris, and she reached out desperately to breach the gap.
"Do you want some help?" His smooth voice interrupted her thoughts in an eerily accurate way.
"You cook?" She asked, with an insulting amount of surprise.
"I manage to keep it down." Fenris grinned.
"That's alright. I think I'm rather enchanted with the idea of cooking for you."
That makes two of us. Fenris wasn't the sort of man who believed a woman's place was in the kitchen, but he would not deny that he enjoyed the sight of his little mage making Orlesian-style toast and crispy bacon. He was pleasantly surprised when she set a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice before him and a bowl of ripe red strawberries with whipped sweet cream. She hummed a sweet little tune as she worked, and he was entranced. She smiled when she set his plate before him and settled down across from him to eat.
"Is something wrong?" She asked when he only stared down at his plate.
"Tell me, Hawke, is there anything you don't do?"
"I don't know why you're so surprised. My mother was noble, but I came from a common background."
"I find that hard to believe. Common is not a word I would associate with you." He said dryly, taking a bite of his toast. Warm vanilla and cinnamon danced lightly on his tongue, and something else; a spice he couldn't quite place. It was delicious.
"Lothering was a poor town; a farming community. We all did our part to help with the chores. I have the same calluses on my hands as any person who lives in Lowtown. I like working around the house. It makes me feel normal."
"I thought you'd gotten over that." He teased. He was absolutely enthralled with watching her lick the cream from a strawberry before biting into it. His heart skipped a beat when he felt the soft touch of her fingers on his.
"I have a few things I have to take care of today. Nothing dangerous." She hastened to add when he looked at her sharply. "I need to speak with Hubert and the families of the men who died in the mine. There are a few other things. I'll be back and forth between Hightown and Lowtown, but there is something else I'd like to talk to you about later tonight if you're going to be home."
"I can't come with you?" His heart constricted painfully at the thought of being separated from her again so soon, even for a little while.
"I think these are things better done alone, but I promise I will call on your by sunset if you will permit it."
Are we strangers suddenly? Why is she being so formal? "You seem nervous about something. Are you sure you don't want to talk now?"
Hawke smiled tenderly. "Better to wait. I'm not excited about the visits I'll be making, and I'd rather get that out of the way first. I would rather come to you with a clear mind."
"You make it sound so clandestine." It was unlike her to make these kinds of plans with him. She usually came and went according to her own whims, if he saw her at all. Fenris wasn't sure if he should be pleased or worried. Oh well. This gives me some time to pay Anders a little visit. He gave Hawke's fingers a gentle squeeze and promised he would be at home when she arrived. He was wildly curious to see where she might be going with this.
Even the most hardened man stepped out of the way of the elf who stalked Darktown with a purposeful stride and a predator's eye. He knew right where to find the abomination, and he itched to see Aveline's handiwork. The man had dared to send a message in the night, begging her to meet with him, pleading for her forgiveness. Fenris had wanted to burn the note, but he did not think Hawke would appreciate such dishonesty. She had tried so hard to comfort him, comfort him, and the harder she tried to soothe him, the angrier he became until his rage threatened to consume him if he did not find an outlet. But Hawke wasn't ready to lose the man she called her brother yet, although Fenris couldn't begin to imagine why. Could he do this without killing him? He would try.
"I expected to see you last night. I suppose you've come to kill me."
Fenris could hear the pain in Anders' voice. Pain. Not longing for death. Hawke was right. He needed to suffer more. The mage staggered to his feet and turned to face him, his bruises fading as he did.
"If I meant to kill you, you wouldn't have heard me coming. But I am going to hurt you, Anders. You can fight if you want, but you won't win."
"So, you and Aveline are just going to take turns working me over?"
"I'm sure you'll be receiving visits from Varric and Sebastian eventually…Not to mention Isabella. She had a debt to repay."
"Is Selene alright?" Agony stained Anders' voice, seasoned liberally with shame for what he had done.
Maker, the elf was fast. Anders had known Fenris would attack him, but he still hadn't seen him coming. Suddenly the blue-white glow of the elf's tattoos were blinding him and he was pressed against the wall, the breath stolen from his lungs. Pain ripped its way through his chest and he threw back his head to scream, but no sound came out.
"You will not speak her name." Fenris snarled. "She loved you, trusted you, and you betrayed her!"
Anders felt the ground disappear from beneath him, and Justice clawed from control. He's really going to kill us.
"That's right. Turn to your friend for help, abomination."
"Hawke loves Anders." Justice boomed. "She will hate you if you-" His words were cut off as Fenris tightened his grip inside his chest.
"Hawke loves me. She doesn't give a shit about you. Either of you. You will never know forgiveness for what you have done. You are beyond redemption." The ground rushed up to meet Anders when Fenris finally let go. He placed several brutal kicks to his midsection. "I never said you could fucking heal yourself. You've gone and ruined all of Aveline's hard work."
"I will prove myself to Hawke. She will love me again." Anders grunted between kicks. He was suddenly hauled to his feet and Fenris' bestial snarling face filled his vision.
"Do I have to remove your tongue, Andres?" He pressed one finger hard into the mage's skull. "Is that the only way you can be taught to be silent?"
Anders did scream then, long and loud as he felt Fenris' finger burrowing ever closer to his brain. The kind of scream that sent people running in the other direction. He gathered as much mana to himself as he could, but his grip felt shaky, like he might not be able to hold it. If you can't hold it, then let it go. Justice advised. Anders obeyed without hesitation, releasing a pulse of spirit energy to should have killed ten Fenris'. His eyes widened with horrified shock as the spell passed right through the elf.
Fenris bared his teeth in a feral grin. The lyrium ghost had embraced him. He was nearly invincible like this. He suspected there was only one thing that could hurt him in this state, and it was safely tucked away in Hawke's bedroom. He had wondered more than once if her athame was the key to undoing Danarius' experiment. With the amount of lyrium carved into his skin, he thought it was more likely that it would kill him.
"I told you that you would not win. Why would you even try?" Fenris' voice was soft as he released his hold on Anders long enough to smash his forehead against his, shattering the abominations nose and making stars dance in his eyes. "Do you think you do not deserve to be punished?"
"Not by you." Anders grated. "She should be the one to do it."
"She will never look upon your face again. You are worse than Caress, more despicable than Alrik; you are nothing to her now." He shoved his fist through Anders' chest once more. "Do you know that I used to feel threatened by you? I hated your relationship with Selene, I was afraid she would turn to you when we were apart. Stop struggling so much, you're only making it worse. I even entertained the idea of driving a wedge between you, and now that you've done it for me, I could kill you for it. I should kill you for it, but as much as I hate to agree with you, it should be her that does it." He tightened his grip inside Anders' chest and yanked him forward so that their faces were mere inches apart. "But if you approach her first, if you try to contact her again without first receiving word from her, I will come back here and I will tear out your heart and eat it, no matter what Hawke says. Do I make myself clear, Anders? Do you think you can manage this one simple act of decency?"
"Are we done here?" He snarled in defeat.
Fenris smiled. "Not even close."
Anders screamed as he learned what pain really was.
Fenris was not expecting the left hook that jawed him as he turned the corner to reach his home. Danarius! He could practically feel the magister breathing down his neck. No. That was impossible. If his former master had found him, he would have received much worse than a weak hit to the jaw. Still, his tattoos flared to life and he lashed out at his attacker, grabbing him by the neck and lifting him into the air. Jethann's tear-stained face filled his vision, and he nearly dropped him in surprise. Instead, he gripped him tighter.
"What the hell are you doing here? How did you know where to find me?" Fenris demanded. He tried his beset to live discreetly, to avoid notice, how had this flighty little man-whore discovered his home?
"People talk in bed." Jethann gasped, glaring at Fenris through slitted eyes wrapped in tears of despair and defeat. "For all that you try to remain unnoticed, you are quite the noisy neighbor." Scorn colored his tone at this.
"Why are you here?" He loosened his hold on Jethann's throat a little, but he didn't allow his feet to touch the ground. Weak though the whore may be, Fenris didn't trust him not to attack again. Anders was another story, but Hawke would definitely be angry if he hurt Jethann.
"You know why I'm here." The other elf spat. "Hawke left me today. I assume she's going back to you, soft-hearted little thing that she is. You made her do it! She was happy with me, she trusted me!"
Fenris rolled his eyes and dropped him. "For the love of the Maker, does every man she meets fall in love with her? I had no idea she was going to stop seeing you, and even if I did…Jethann, you fuck other women for money. What sort of a future could you have with her? Did she ever give you any reason to think she was interested in you?" He managed to keep himself from sounding jealous. His heart was soaring. She really stopped seeing him?
"I would give it up for Hawke. I've made enough to build us a life, but she wouldn't hear of it. She laughed and said the women of Kirkwall would riot. She's right, of course, but still…I would give it up for her."
"But you haven't yet. Go home, Jethann. Get drunk, sleep it off. Tomorrow is a brand new day; you should be thankful for it, because if you think to sucker punch me like that again, you little piece of shit, I'll fucking kill you." Fenris slammed the door in Jethann's face and sighed. It had been a full morning.
He flopped down on his bed and tried to sort through the flood of emotions that had forged through him in the past twenty-four hours. Thoughts of Hawke consumed him. Beating Anders to a pulp had done little to soothe his fury. He shook with rage when he thought of that abomination still breathing. On the other hand, the last thing he'd been expecting was a surprise visit from a heart-broken Jethann. Hawke had been clear that she wasn't ready to cast the other elf off just yet. He'd been a friend to her and she seemed to trust him, so what had changed her mind? He wondered if it had anything to do with Anders. He fervently hoped not. He would hate to think the mage had damaged her faith in men so badly that she would turn her back on friends. Not after they had just gotten her back. She had trusted him last night, held him, she'd been sweet to him this morning, but then she'd sent him off and he began to worry about what she would say when she came to talk to him. Icy fear clawed at his heart. He didn't know if he could stand to lose her yet again. Life without Hawke…He may as well return to Danarius. Freedom was meaningless without her.
He sat up and reached for his pipe. Selene's habit had rubbed off on him, and he needed to think. It's hard to be rational when you're emotional. More than anything he wanted to believe she was coming back, that she truly was returning to him, but it didn't seem possible. He couldn't be that lucky, he didn't deserve it but, Maker, he'd never wanted anything so badly in all his life as he wanted Selene Hawke. He was concerned that he was bordering on obsession, afraid that he was like Anders, too far gone to know the difference between obsession and love. He exhaled heavily and leaned back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. His thoughts rolled in lazy circles between optimism and pessimism. Hawke loved him, she told him she did. Anders had violated her trust so deeply that Fenris couldn't blame her if she turned her back on men altogether. A tear leaked from the corner of his eye and he hit his pipe again. His eyes drifted closed and visions of her danced behind his lids. In her humor, her passion, even in her heartbreak, she always managed to surprise him. He was certain she would be no different in this. The thought was strangely comforting. The future was in Hawke's hands now, and he had to trust her. He had to let go. The thought carried him off to sleep.
Fenris woke with a start to find the darkness. Something soft brushed his face and he lashed out lightning fast. Unbidden, his tattoos flared to life. His fingers grasped a slim wrist and he yanked his intruder down on the bed, rolling the small body beneath him. His eyes adjusted to the light slowly, but he realized it was Hawke who was pinned under him before he did any damage.
"Maker, Hawke," he gasped, relaxing his hold on her, dropping his forehead against hers. ""Don't do that to me. I could have killed you."
"You knew it was me." She said, nuzzling his neck with her nose. "That's why I'm on the bed and not against the wall."
"I seem to remember getting you against the wall once before." He protested, mildly. She had done it again. She surprised him with her bold words, her light tone, the way she seemed to want to get closer to him. He resisted the urge to press his hips against hers, resisted the urge to brush his lips across hers, to run his hands down the impossible length of her legs. He released her instead, sitting up to stare down at her. He didn't let the light go out of his tattoos. Hawke didn't like the dark. She stared right back at him, and for the first time in a long time, her expression was open, curious, yielding, and also somehow frustrated. She reached out to lay her hand on top of his.
"I've been thinking about what you said." Her voice was soft, serious, just shy of being shy.
She sat up so she could better meet his gaze, gauge his reaction. He seemed distant, nervous. Selene was suddenly terrified that she might be too late, that he might have gotten tired of waiting for her. It was irrational, she knew, but the seed of fear had taken root in her heart. She almost faltered, but she thought of how many times he had fought for her, bled for her, picked up the pieces of her broken heart, how many times he had reached out to her and found nothing. She loved Fenris with all her heart, trusted him more than anyone, and she owed him a great debt that she was eager to balance. More than anything, she wanted to be happy.
"I broke it off with Jethann today." She winced at her poor choice of words. She didn't want to imply that there was anything else going on, although the elf had gotten very emotional when she told him.
Fenris decided not to tell her about Jethann's visit earlier today. He smiled and reached out to cup her cheek. The tightness in his chest eased a little when she leaned into his touch. "Are you sure about this, love? I thought you needed more time. I can be patient." That was a lie, but he didn't want her to feel pressured into doing something she would regret later.
"We have been patient long enough. I want to be with you." She whispered, leaning into him once again, breathing in the scent of lyrium and leather and something else she couldn't quite place; something that was uniquely, intoxicatingly Fenris.
He pulled back to search her face once more. Hawke never acted this way. "Is this about Anders? I don't want you to come to me out of fear, love."
"I am not afraid of Anders." She protested , indignantly.
"But? You are not acting like yourself today. Don't misunderstand me." He rushed to explain when he saw the hurt look on her face. "I have missed you, Selene. If there is a future to be had, I would gladly face it at your side. But there is something you are not telling me."
"I had decided to dismiss Jethann before Anders…You were right. Putting it off wasn't going to make it any easier for him, and I think about you all the time. I have not done right by you, Fenris, and I mean to make it up to you, but what Anders did…" She looked away, ashamed. "When I…" She couldn't say it. "I could feel him in my mind and in my heart. I…connected with him the way I did with you, and it was…Dark and empty, and I can't escape it. I can't get it out of my head. It's supposed to be you. I want it to be you. You're warm and light and…savage and complicated. I need to feel that again. I need you to drive his memory away."
"No pressure." He murmured, leaning forward to claim her lips in a soft, sweet kiss. Wipe Anders from her memory? That was what he wanted, but she still seemed so fragile to him. She said she needed this, and the Maker knew he wanted her. The simplest touch from her set his blood to racing; already he was hot and ready for her, but… "We're going to go slowly, love." He whispered against her lips. "You must tell me if you want me to stop."
Hawke nodded and rose to her knees, wrapping her arms around him and pressing her body against his. She could feel him hard against her lower belly and she rolled her hips against his. She sighed and sucked his earlobe into his mouth, drawing on it gently as she tickled him with her tongue.
"Slowly, love." Fenris admonished, unsure if he could hold himself to his promise, but determined to try. Maker, she was going to drive him crazy. Even knowing that she wanted him, he had not expected her to respond so readily, so eagerly. He wrapped his long fingers gently around her wrists and forced her hands behind her back as he embraced her. She did not object to his hold, only smiled and found his lips again.
Selene's head swam and her blood raced. Maker, he tasted good. She would go as slow as he wanted, just so long as he didn't stop what he was doing. Her lips parted under his, inviting him in. She had been starving for him and she'd pushed her emotions so far down that she hadn't even realized it. It felt right to be pressed against him this way, but his sweet restraint was growing frustrating. She wanted to touch him, wanted to feel his warm skin under her fingertips, she wanted to feel his strong hands on her body. She wanted to get closer to him. His tongue finally flicked against hers and a soft whimper escaped her. It wasn't enough. Her mind fled back to the last night they had spent together. She wasn't sure she could take another night of his sweet, tortuous teasing. She began to struggle in his embrace.
Fenris released her immediately and gazed down at her, concern darkening his forest green eyes. "Forgive me, Selene." He whispered, miserably. "I should not have-"
Her hands freed, Selene smiled and pushed him back on the bed. "You are not going to break me, Fenris." She said, kissing the inside of his wrist. "I know that you will not hurt me. I know that you will not force me." She brushed her lips across his fingertips. "I love you, Fenris. It has been hell trying to scratch out an existence without you." She drew his fingertip into her mouth, and wrapping her tongue around its length, she began to suckle gently.
Fenris groaned. He could feel her ministrations down to the tip of his manhood. His hips bucked involuntarily and he reached for her with his free hand, muttering insincere apologies when the buttons of her blouse popped open and her full breasts spilled free. He leaned up and buried his face between them before curling his tongue around one nipple, teasing the sharp little peak between his teeth. She was so soft, so beautiful; she was everything he never knew he wanted, everything he couldn't live without. Still, he resisted the urge to roll her beneath him once again and show her how much he had missed her. If she wanted to lead the dance, he would let her. He was wildly curious to see where she was headed with this.
Selene's head fell back as Fenris massaged her breasts with his mouth and hands. Every touch, every kiss he gifted her with was so perfectly executed, he could bring her to moist arousal so quickly that sometimes she wondered if his body remembered things his mind didn't. She let the thought go before jealousy could sink its claws in. Past was past, especially in their case; no sense in worrying over something you couldn't change. She nipped playfully at the tip of his pointed ear, and his head snapped up so he could cover her mouth with his; more than tasting her, devouring her as he fumbled with the remaining buttons of her blouse.
"You and your damned…clothes." He growled. She laughed huskily, setting fire to his senses.
"Next time I wake you up I'll remember to dispense with the clothing beforehand."
"Mmm…That would be preferable." He murmured against her neck as he pulled her onto his lap. He had told himself that he would let her take the lead, but he was growing impatient. His hands worked into the waistband of her pants, easing them down over her hips. He thought he would come out of his skin when she wiggled her round bottom against him as her pants came off. He trailed his fingers up the smooth length of her leg to grip her hip.
"Aren't you feeling a little overdressed yourself?" She asked, pushing his shirt back over his shoulders. She smiled as he eagerly helped her along, and she sealed her mouth to his once more. He was very sweet for wanting to go slowly, for respecting her, but she wasn't in the mood to take her time. She pushed him back on the bed and shifted so that she was straddling his hips. She made a frustrated noise when she felt the material of his pants rub against the soft skin of her inner thighs.
Fenris chuckled, a warm sound that rumbled deep in his chest as his hands guided her hips to a rolling rhythm that would drive her to slow madness. All he wanted in the world was to drive himself into her, to feel her ride him to completion but, Maker, he loved the way she wanted him. She came to life in his arms. She obeyed the silent command of his hands eagerly, pressing hot kisses down the column of his neck and making his blood pound in his ears. He writhed beneath her when her hands passed over his shoulders, across his chest, and down the flat of his stomach, leaving the cooling sensation of her healing magic behind in his lyrium tattoos.
"God, that's amazing." He groaned. His hands tightened on her hips, guiding her to a more forceful rhythm. "I hate these fucking pants right now."
It was Hawke's turn to laugh. "Maybe I could help you out with that."
Fenris groaned as she slid down his body, trailing hot kisses down the flat of his stomach. Thoughts of going slow vanished completely when he felt her deft fingers unlacing his breeches and his manhood sprang free. Her warm breath feathered along his length and her fingers lightly traced the lyrium that encircled him. Growling impatiently, he bolted upright and hauled Selene up to face him. His hand cupped the back of her head, his fingers threading though her short silky hair as he searched her face for any sign of fear or resistance. Finding none, he took her mouth again, kissing her hard, forcing her mouth open so his tongue could slide in to mate with hers. He pulled her onto his lap again and his free hand traveled down between his legs. His manhood bucked and pulsed against her bum when he found her slick heat.
Selene's head fell back and she moaned as she felt Fenris slide one finger inside her tight channel while his thumb made lazy circles around the sensitive nub of flesh hidden in her folds. She rode his hand gently, whimpering softly in his ear, her fingernails scratched long furrows down his back. Nothing existed outside of this moment. Maker, the man in her arms made the world go round. Hawke's sun rose and set on the sound of his voice. Life was worth living if he was in the room. If he was touching her, making love to her…He made her whole, he breathed the joy of living into her. He made her care about the future. Her breath caught when a ragged growl ripped from his throat and he rolled her beneath him once more.
"Tell me you want me as badly as I want you." He grated. His hot breath kissed her neck and he rocked his hips against hers.
"Pants…" She gasped, arching into him. "…Off…" Her hands spread across his broad shoulders as she gently pushed him off her.
He backed off easily and got to his feet, staring down at her with hot eyes. Her every movement was smooth and sensual as she swung her legs over the edge of the bed and eased his pants down over his narrow hips. His breath caught in his throat when she wrapped her fingers around his hard length, her thumb delicately traced the line of his tattoo as it ran down to the base of his shaft, once again leaving behind the cool, soothing feeling of her magic. He felt a little light-headed as he felt himself lengthening, growing harder than he'd thought possible in her hands. His fingers threaded through her silky auburn hair and he released his breath in a slow hiss when he felt her tongue flick out to caress the head of his manhood, swirling around it before taking him into the hot wet cave of her mouth. Ecstasy Fenris had never known washed over him warm and wild, like the first sunrise that had ever kissed the world. His head fell back and his eyes drifted closed but the light remained. A ragged groan tore from his throat, and his hand closed into an involuntary fist in her hair. Selene. Her name lit up his soul like the flames of rebirth. He could do anything when he was with her.
Selene felt a chill run up and down her spine while butterflies fluttered dramatically in the pit of her stomach. Maker, she wanted him so badly. She couldn't believe her fortune that after all this time, he still wanted her. It thrilled her that he responded so readily to her touch, that even in their separation he had remained loyal, resisting the advances of other women, of which there were many. Hawke could feel the lustful eyes watching her lover when they were out at the Hanged Man; she heard the whispers of the nobles in Hightown wondering where they could get their own mysterious, exotic, elven, Tevinter warrior. He made her jealous and proud at the same time, he had visited pleasures upon her that she had never thought to know. How had she managed to live without him all this time? He kept the nightmares at bay. He had washed her clean of a past that haunted her.
She leaned forward to taste him and felt her muscles contract when she heard him exhale a long breath she didn't know he'd been holding. She suppressed a moan when his hand fisted in her hair and she curled her tongue around his length and closed her lips around his shaft. He tasted of warm salt and sweet, spicy lyrium. A tiny whimper vibrated in the back of her throat as she leaned in to take more of him, suckling gently as she worked her way back toward the tip. She shivered when Fenris' hands slid down to massage her neck and shoulders, and she wondered if she would ever get enough of him. She plunged forward again, opening her throat to take him deeper, reaching between his legs to cup his full sac, rolling his testes against each other; then deeper, taking his full length all the may down to the base, sucking hard this time as she withdrew.
Fenris gripped Hawke's shoulders and hauled her to her feet, pressing his mouth hard against hers. "On your knees." He growled, pushing her back on the bed. His manhood jumped and pulsed with need as she peeked up at him through her lashes and grinned. She made a slow show of rolling her onto her belly and rising to her knees as he'd commanded. Impatient need filled him, but he was content to watch her as she displayed her curves to perfection. His mouth went dry and his hands trembled when he reached for her. Positioning himself behind her, he wrapped his strong arms around her and drew her back against his chest. Nudging her knees apart with one of his, he trailed his hand down between her legs to stroke her moist heat. His other hand rested between her breasts, keeping her pressed tight against him as he positioned himself at her tight opening. He hesitated.
"Are you sure?" He panted, not knowing how he would stop. He trailed hot kisses down her neck and along her slim shoulder.
Was she sure? Was he really asking her that? Selene groaned and her head fell back against his shoulder. She growled and bit him hard at the base of his neck, gasping with pleasure when his hips snapped forward, but he did not give her his full length. She tried to lean forward, arching her back to take him deeper, but he held her fast against him. A dark velvet laugh caressed her ear.
"So impatient." He murmured with another short thrust. His tongue snaked out to trace the shell of her ear. He smiled at her frustrated groan. I do not mean to tease you love, but I see no need to rush, hm?" He thrust again, surging forward rather than deeper. He grinned when he felt the hard knot of tissue there and caught her moan, sealing his mouth to hers, sliding his tongue between her lips as he brushed against the knot again. Her inner walls contracted on him almost painfully and she shuddered delicately in his arms.
Maker, how are you doing that? She would have asked, but she didn't want him to stop kissing her. Hot pressure began to coil slowly within her and she reached back to thread her fingers through the silky hair at the nape of his neck. She whimpered into his mouth as he began to move faster. God, it had never been like this before. Mana flared to life in her veins and she tried to release her grip on the back of his neck, but he growled and sank his straight, white teeth into her full lower lip.
"Don't let go." He grated. "I want to feel every part of you, love." He reached up to squeeze one of her breasts, rolling her nipple between his thumb and index finger. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, sucking gently at the soft flesh there. He gasped when he felt her magic fill him, spreading through his tattoos, thrumming though his veins, surrounding him with her sweet warmth. He bit into her shoulder, pumping into her with short, hard thrusts, hyper-aware of her every gasp, every touch, every pulse of her heartbeat as she gave herself over to him.
Hawke's breath came in short panting gasps as she felt the last shreds of her control slipping away. She had filled herself and Fenris with her magic, held tight in his iron grip as he rode her ever closer to a climax she couldn't contain. The pressure building inside her coiled tighter and tighter past anything she had ever experienced. She didn't know how to let it go. She was afraid of hurting him. His tattoos were glowing brighter than she'd ever seen, bright enough to chase the shadows from the room. She tried to concentrate on creating a flow of spirit and healing magic, but she couldn't grasp it. Little sparks of lightning flicked over their bodies, unbidden.
"…Fenris…" Her quiet gasp was laced with nervous warning. She couldn't hold on much longer.
A ragged groan ripped its way from Fenris' throat as a tingling wave of lightning gently licked its way over his skin, brushing against every part of him. His arms tightened around her convulsively, and he brushed his lips against her ear. "Don't stop." He whispered. "Don't even think about stopping. God, you feel so good." Good wasn't the word. She was beginning to tighten around him and her sweet whimpers of frustrated pleasure were driving him over the edge.
Selene turned her head to kiss him, long and slow and sweet. She stiffened in his arms and another wave of electricity licked over them. That was it. The dam broke. Her moan turned into a scream of pleasure as Fenris released her mouth and his hold on her, pushing her forward so she was down on all fours, slamming his full length into her at last. Pleasure more intense than anything she had ever known crashed over her as she arched into his powerful thrusts. Unable to hold back any longer, she poured her mana into him, not knowing what it was she was doing, not knowing what would happen. A hot storm raged through her, cleansing her of the darkness that had been there before. Fenris. Her heart beat his name. Nothing else existed as his essence, his presence surged over her. A low moan escaped her as that window to his soul opened, revealing the light that guided her path. There was a softness inside him, an innocence that was nearly masked by his savage intensity. Oh, he was always tender with her, but she could see the storm that raged within him, and beneath that, somewhere there was something sweet and idealistic; something that remained unscarred after what Danarius and Hadriana had put him through. She could feel all the pain and the worry she had caused him, but it was a small thing compared to the waves of love that washed over her. For the first time she could see how much he really needed her, that he shared her sense of completion when they were together. She cried his name over and over between panting whimpers. Her breath left her in a rush as another convulsion wracked her body. A broken whisper roared in her mind.
Maker, thank you for bringing her back to me. She is my life. She is everything I ever learned of love. Selene. My little mage. My reason for being.
Fenris braced one arm against the wall above Hawke's head, leaning forward as a vivid climax crashed over them and she gripped him hard with her inner walls. She filled him with her peaceful presence, calming his soul in a way that he had never experienced before knowing her. He could feel the darkness that Anders had left inside her flee before him as he poured himself into her. Her magic flowed into him, through him, gentle, silky flows that felt like a massage of flower petals. Wispy tendrils of lyrium floated out from his tattoos to swirl around them, a sinuous smoke with a mind of its own, caressing them here and there, sending little shocks of pleasure jolting through their bodies.
Fenris growled low in his throat and ran his hand down the arch of Selene's spine to grip her hip. Deep down, he had never truly believed he would find this place again. He would have waited. He would have stayed by her side until his last day, daring to dream of a time when she would make him whole again, a time when she would reach out to calm the beast within him. And now she was here, writhing in his arms, proving to him beyond doubt that there was something good and pure in this world. Something worth fighting for. He strained to hear the soft sweet whispers that echoed in his ears.
I was dead before I met you, my warrior, my savior. My lyrium wolf. You woke me up; you brought me out of the darkness. …Fenris…You are everything that is good in me. Wherever you go, I will follow. I would bind myself to you.
The lovers cried out as one, stiffening as their bodies locked together in a wild release that seemed to go on and on. Exhilaration fanned the flames of their passion. They had never been this close before. Always they had witnessed glimpses into the deepest parts of each other, always they had shared the sense of being healed, of being filled with new life, but they had never connected so strongly that they could actually hear the innermost whispers of their hearts calling out to each other. In that moment, they knew with excruciating relief that there could be no going back, no half measures. Their lives were inextricably linked; neither of them could bare the thought of being parted from the other a moment longer.
When the storm finally passed, they collapsed on the bed, and Fenris gently turned her over to reset his head on the soft pillow of her breasts, purring as he listened to her heart hammering wildly in her chest as she worked to catch her breath. She smiled down at him with starry eyes, absently running her fingers through his hair.
"Where did you learn that?" She breathed a satisfied sigh.
"…I read…" His tone carried hints of defensive humor.
Hawke was enchanted by the faint blush that crept into Fenris' cheeks. A bubble of laughter escaped her before she could stop it. "Isabella…" She mused. "Where does she find these things? She has gifted me with a veritable library of hints and tricks, accompanied by detailed pictures, of course." She laughed again.
Fenris smiled and leaned up to nip playfully at her collarbone. "It was Varric, actually." He admitted, bashfully. "It would seem he and Isabella are in cahoots to make us fantastic lovers."
Hawke leaned down to press a soft kiss to his forehead, the bridge of his nose, and finally his lips, lingering there for the briefest of moments before pulling back to stare into his deep green eyes, committing every detail to memory, her face suddenly serious.
"I have a job coming up." She said. "And I think I need your help. The man who hired me - he's not telling me the whole truth. I don't want to walk into a trap, but neither do I want a murderer terrorizing the Dalish."
It was Fenris' turn to laugh. "You have the sweetest pillow talk, love." He teased her, but his heart swelled with joy and relief that he could fight beside her one more. He folded his arms around her in a fierce hug and rolled to his side, resting his chin on the top of her head. He heaved a sigh of contentment. Tomorrow would be the greatest day Fenris would ever know. The sun would shine brighter, the air would feel cleaner, the world would finally spin on its proper axis because she was with him.
**So I know I changed the sequence of events a little, but fear not. It will still be awesome.