Season 7. Short POV story. Sarah Barker's POV the morning after Bobby's infidelity.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?
You lay there sleeping in the early morning sunlight.
You stayed the night. You didn't leave afterward.
What do I make of this?
You stir. I freeze. I slowly lay back and pretend to sleep.
I feel you move next to me. I stay as still as possible.
You used to wake me up with kisses. I miss those kisses.
I feel your eyes burning into me. I want to reach out and touch you but I remain still.
Touch me, please touch me. Seconds feel like hours.
I can't take it anymore, I move my hand to touch you. Nothing.
I open my eyes.
You aren't in the bed anymore.
You're dressing in the bathroom.
Seems very silly after last night.
I open my mouth to say your name but nothing comes out.
I sit up and stare.
You walk back into the bedroom and look at me.
I can't read the look on your face. You smile slightly and say "Morning".
I let out a deep breath and smile back. I still can't speak. Why can't I speak?
Every feeling, every word I've imagined it all. I've imagined saying everything I always wanted to and always regretted not.
Your stare is foreign. It looks right through me but not at my core. It continues past me. It's as if you're searching.
Are you searching for her?
I stand up. I do the only thing I know to do.
I wrap my arms around you. You hesitate but then respond.
I don't feel well. I feel naked and vulnerable.
I slip a shirt on and walk into the kitchen.
The coffee brews and morning news drones.
We still don't speak.
Finally I manage it. I say it,
You're quick to respond.
"I need to get to work. Will I see you tonight?"
You leave the burden on me. Why me? Don't leave it to me...
"If you want"
"Okay then. I'll see you tonight"
You kiss me on the cheek and walk out the door.
The lump in my throat forms. I know it all too well and try to push it back down.
It doesn't budge. The tears well. Please don't fall, oh please.
They cascade down my cheeks and into my coffee.
My knees give out and I fall to the ground.
This is karma isn't it?
Taking what is not yours.
I stole. I took. I'm taking. I don't know what the hell I'm doing.
I do know one thing. You don't love me.
I don't see the same man I used to see.
I see a man suffering and in pain. I see a man using someone, anyone to conquer the anguish.
I made my bed but we won't lie in it together.
I think back to college. "Don't forget me," I begged.
"I'll remember," you said. "I'll always remember."
I had hoped you'd see me and you'd remember.
For me it wasn't over. It is now.