I was pregnant. I knew that, I knew it was Peeta's, I knew Peeta was missing.
He had been gone for three months, after the games which had lasted two months. Five months. This baby had been growing inside of me for five months, possibly more. I hadn't felt anything yet, but the doctor didn't know the exact date this baby was conceived, he said it was normal, but I knew it wasn't. Come on Mr. Doctor, my mother is a healer, so was prim. Primrose... she was alive then, when the baby was made. She had been...gone for five months already so something should have happened by now, yes, I was showing, yes, I had been having morning sickness after the games; I had been told I was too undernourished during the games to get it.
No movement. I never thought I would end up like this, winning the hunger games, being put into the quarter quell with my fiancée, being pregnant. Him being taken, me leading a rebellion, breaking my best friend's heart, being sister-less and doing everything in my power to get back a man I wasn't meant to love. Now the rebellion was over, we had won but no one knew where Peeta was yet. We were in control of panem and couldn't locate one of the most important people in the country.
They had been searching for him for the past four months. Only me and the doctor knew about the baby, I had planned on changing that when Peeta got home. When.
I heard the door open and looked up, Haymitch "Katniss, we have news about Peeta" he said breathlessly. I stood up, getting that fluttery feeling you get when you are nervous. He turned around and we ended up in one of the most important mocking jay rooms. There was a huge map on the wall, with a big red 'x' over district twelve. "He's in district twelve?" I asked "well why are we still here?" I said, my voice rising with every word. I scanned the rest of the room; there were pictures of him everywhere, completely alone. No traps, I would know, I had been put in front of them for the last two years. "We thought you would want to go and get him" Plutarch said. I nodded.
They suited me up and just as I was about to get onto the hovercraft, I felt sick. I stopped in my tracks "we understand if you don't want to do this" a voice said from behind me, I turned round. Gale. I sighed; he had come to see me. No, I couldn't talk to him; it would hurt both of us too much. I turned back round and walked into the hovercraft, only turning to look at him when it was too late.
It took us ten minutes to get there. Well, that's what they said; it felt like a lifetime to me. We landed in the ruins of my old home, nothing but ash and rubble now. And somewhere, Peeta. I stepped out into the gray landscape "be careful Katniss" Haymitch said, holding my arm. I turned round and scowled at him, he immediately recoiled. I looked around, searching for footprints, the amount of chaos here made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I heard a scuffling noise and headed that way, staying on the tops of the remaining buildings. Rue taught me how to do that. Rue. Death, destruction, Rue, Peeta. Children. I sighed and jumped to the next heap of bricks, continuing to do so until I was right above the noise. I looked down; he was sitting against the remains of my old apartment. I threw a rock near him, so he would look up, just to check. His head flew up, I stayed in my crouching position, carefully angling myself so the sun was behind me and he couldn't see any of my facial features. He squinted, and then put his hand on his forehead. I stood up and jumped down. Now I was standing right in front of him, this was torture, won't he say anything? His blue eyes pierced mine, unblinking. A wind picked up, blowing my hair back, he stood up and I got that fluttery feeling again. "Katniss" he whispered, something was wrong, I stepped back. He stepped forward again, pushing me up against a pile of rubble and kissed me. I was wrong, I had just forgotten what he was like, it had been so long. He started to lift up my top "no Peeta" I said, moving away. Then something happened it moved... the baby moved! I grinned, grabbed his hand and put it on my swelling stomach. His eyes lit up and his face broke into a grin. He went down on his knees "hi baby" he whispered and put his cheek on my abdomen. The baby started kicking now. Kicking! He looked up at me, tears in both of our eyes. He stood up again and wiped my cheek, took my hand and walked towards the hover craft that had landed, I hadn't even heard it.
We got back to district 13 and got rushed to the hospital, Peeta wouldn't let go of me the whole time. Insisting that when he got looked at that I needed to be checked, there could be something wrong with the baby. Everyone stopped, I looked at Peeta, he grinned stupidly "oh, sorry" I started crying, what the hell?
We had to stay in the hospital for a few hours, and then were finally let out. He took me hand and ran me to the canteen. He started to fill two plates, one slightly larger, with rich foods that I never knew this district had. He balanced the two plates in one hand and grabbed my wrist again, pulling me over to one of the many empty tables in the room. He set the plates down and turned to face me, grinning, "What?" I asked, returning his smile. He laughed and looked around the room, studying every face that was now focused on us, and then turned back to me, pressing his lips against mine. I laughed into his mouth and he sighed "I've missed you so much Katniss, you have no idea" he smiled weakly, tears forming in his eyes again. In heard a few aww's and sighs around the room as he kissed me again and we sat down to eat, I was surprised that the larger plate was for me.
That night, just before we went to sleep he asked me a question "how long have you known you were carrying our baby?" I shrugged at the same time he draped his arm over my hip and stomach, "since I got back I guess, but I sort of figured it out near the end of the games, it was what you said during the interview ticked me off, I started being as careful as I could after that, watching myself, looking for changes." I told him truthfully. He turned me over and watched me carefully "honestly? You are saying that you could have told me, that I could have protected you better, that I could have known, had something to look forward to, to fight for?" he asked me, firing questions at me from every angle "what? You weren't looking forward to seeing me? You didn't look forward to it? You don't miss me? You don't think you protected me enough? You weren't fighting for me? Wow, thanks Peeta. That's what every pregnant girl wants to hear." I yelled, grabbed the duvet and run out of the door, tears streaming down my face, he didn't care about me at all, he only wanted a baby. Not me, once the baby was born, who knows what he would do then.
I ran straight to my old apartment in district 13, stupid idea that would be the first place he would come looking for me. But that was the only other place I felt safe, not restricted…at home. I could hear him shouting me all the way there and I had only shut the door a few seconds before he was nearly banging it down with his fists. My mother came running towards me then stopped, looked at the door, me and my bump, the tears on my face and then back to the door. She motioned towards the door and I shook my head, I couldn't talk, you could hear anything through these paper thin walls. She walked over to the door, opened it and stood there. Peeta studied her face carefully then looked over at me, pleading me silently, I turned away. I wasn't forgiving him that easily.