Yosh, Midori desu:) Added more humour here, so please enjoy! XDXD
Renji: Today marks the 3rd day we have been kidnapped into this interrogation room.
Midori-Emmi: That's not true! We only gather at night and so help me this is no interrogation room!
Ryoma: The authoress is evil, that much is true.
Midori-Emmi: Aw shucks, Ryoma-kun! Thanks for your generous compliment! :D
Midori-Emmi: Anyways…reader traffic from FFnet has told me that my crack is still way crappy compared to some of the more awesome authoresses out there…*coughMagicDetectivecough*! And as such, I shall try to pump up the humour a little more.
Inui: 1 percent chance that the authoress has an ingenius plan and a 99 percent chance that we are to carry out that plan.
Midori-Emmi: *Sobs dramatically* I can't believe you guys think so lowly of me…*sits in the depression corner planting ferns*
Kawamura: Ano…why is the authoress planting ferns?
Dan: *Listens to authoress muttering* Authoress-san says that she has no choice but to plant ferns because Momoshiro-san planted bracket fungus, and Inui-san and Yanagi-san planted fungus balls in the previous chapter, desu!
Akaya: But why not mushrooms? Last I remembered, they are fungi too.
Marui: *Gasps* Akaya actually studies his biology!
Yukimura: *Turns to look at a tearing Akaya, then turns to smile at Marui*
Marui: *Gulps * I know, I know, a thousand laps…*runs off into some random sunset*
Dan: *Nods as he listens in on the authoress' muttering again* Authoress-san says she can't plant mushrooms, desu. She says because that would plagiarise Ouran High School Host Club's Tamaki-san, desu! And the ferns are the only other family that breeds using spores, desu!
Renji: *Continuing from some random, off-screen conversation*…No, Sadaharu. I am 87 percent positive that the authoress has a twisted sense of humour.
Inui: I beg to differ, Renji. My data tells me that the authoress has a sadistic sense of humour.
Renji: My data states that both words mean practically the same thing in this context.
Inui: Well my data shows that both words DO NOT mean the same thing. And while both words contain the letters 't', 'i' and 's'-
Renji: Ahem but apparently my data is telling me that I am correct and you are just being stubborn and childish.
Inui: On the other hand, my data tells me that you are refusing to admit you are wrong because you hate bright green.
Midori-Emmi: *Sobs even harder in her corner because both her username and her school (colour) has just been insulted*
Renji: *Ignores the authoress* My data tells me that you refuse to give in because your glasses are too thick.
Inui: My data tells me that you don't want to admit you're wrong because you are too tall.
Renji: Speak for yourself, Sadaharu! My data tells me that you don't want to admit you're wrong because you always speak in a monotone voice.
Inui: My data tells me that you are a creepy data freak.
Renji: *Smiles* Why thank you. My data tells me that you are a pinhead.
Inui: My data tells me that you hate seaweed.
Akaya: *Gasps* What is that supposed to mean, Yanagi-senpai?
Renji: …my data tells me that you are a bastard.
Inui: My data tells me that you are a fan of Barbie movies.
Renji: *Sniffs* But Princess Anneliese and Julian belong together…*fanboys and emos at the same time*
Akaya: *Sweatdrops* How is senpai doing that…
Inui: …ahem. And my data also tells me that you are a brown-eyed monkey.
Renji: *Done fanboying* My data tells me that you are a green-eyed mad scientist.
Inui: My data tells me that you are last on the 'Favourite Tennis Regular Rankings' in your school.
Renji: *Twitches* My data tells me that you are a pink-nosed sea urchin.
Dan: Ano…do sea urchins even have noses, desu?
Inui: AHA! You said something illogical! You lose! *Does a glorious victory pose with his notebook*
Renji: Rikutsu janai (Its illogical)!*Is slapped by Inui for plagiarising his trademark phrase before joining the authoress in planting ferns at the corner*
Lianna-Snow: Hi everybody!
All: Who the heck are you?
Lianna-Snow: I'm Midori's friend at school! Call me Lianna :D I'm also here to announce the results in place of the authoress today because she is too sad to.
All: *Turns to stare at the two people in the despairing corner before turning back again* So we see.
Lianna-Snow: On to the results people!
Q1) Who would you want as your older brother?
The Glorious TOP 3
1st Place: Shishido Ryou (6139 votes) *previous ranking: Now up by 9 places*
2nd Place: Fuji Syuusuke (4941 votes) *previous ranking: Now down by 1 place*
3rd Place: Niou Masaharu (3147 votes) *previous ranking: New*
Shishido: I personally don't think I will make a good older brother. I never know what mine is thinking…geki dasa daze(this is so lame)!
As expected, the top 10 are all basically people who are good at taking care of others. Competition with the newcomers for the top slots are pretty intense this round!
And who might be the 4th to 10th Places?
4th Place: Tachibana Kippei *previous ranking: Now up by 6 places*
5th Place: Atobe Keigo *previous ranking: Now up by 7 places*
6th Place: Saeki Koujirou *previous ranking: Now down by 5 places*
7th Place: Oshitari Yuushi *previous ranking: New*
8th Place: Yukimura Seiichi *previous ranking: New*
9th Place: Shiraishi Kuranosuke *previous ranking: New*
10th Place: Kurobane Harukaze *previous ranking: New*
Choutarou: *Frowns* Shishido-san…how could you say that the result was lame? I think you make a good older brother!
Shishido: *Blushes* Thanks…Choutarou.
Mukahi: This must have been a mistake with the polling system!
Shishido: Oi what do you mean by that?
Choutarou: *Gulps* Eto…senpai-tachi…please refrain from fighting…
Mukahi and Shishido: *Calm down and stop fighting because Choutarou's aura is too calming and pure*
Fuji: And the Tensai (Genius) triumphs over the Trickster *smiles*
Fuji: So, Niou-kun. About the bet we made…I want those by next week.
Fuji: And don't you dare go back on that promise. You know the consequences *smiles even wider*
Yukimura: Are you ok, Niou? 'Puri' is the only word you have been saying for your past 3 replies *smiles a 'you-better-tell-me-what-you-lost-in-that-bet-or-you-are-running-laps-until-you-die' smile*
Niou: …I promised him I would give him blackmail on the team, piyo.
Entire of Rikkai: *Chases Niou into the same random sunset that Marui ran towards*
Kamio: Hey guys, check it out! Tachibana-san is ranked 4th!
Ishida: Wow, its true!
Shinji: I can't believe Tachibana-san got a place in the rankings and its not because I don't like him as our captain it really isn't I am just surprised because none of us Fudoumine regulars have got such a high rank or even a ranking for that matter and Tachibana-san actually broke the record of us being a background team because he is so awesome and we all respect him plus he promised a match with me thi-
Ishida: *Ties Shinji up and gags him because majority voted for it and throws him to the despairing corner* Sorry about it!
Shinji: *Continues to mumble incoherently because he is gagged*
Tachibana: *Sweatdrops at his team's chaos* Well…thanks readers! Although I kind of think I was voted for because I have Ann to take care of as my little sister…
Atobe: *Shoos Tachibana and the rest of Fudoumine into a corner* It is time for ore-sama to bless you lot with his presence because he was asleep for the majority of the last chapter.
Shishido: Che, talk about speaking in 3rd person…and weren't you out cold because you fainted at the results last time?
Atobe: *Twitches* Ore-sama does not use the terms 'fainted' and 'out cold'!
Mukahi: Yeah yeah…
Atobe: And so…I shall reward everyone by giving a speech on why I should have been in 1st place and not 5th place *clears throat* I believe I should have been first becau-
Eiji: HOLD IT! *Runs to stand in between Atobe and the rest of the cast with his arms outstretched, blowing a whistle that he borrowed from Oishi* I think we should have a majority voting on whether or not Atobe gets to say his speech!
Tezuka and Sanada: *Says at the same time* I agree.
Jirou: *Stares at the two and gasps, still pointing at them* OMG! Those 2 can actually talk! ...*falls asleep*
All: …we agree too.
Atobe: *Gasps in horror at the decision*
Eiji: In that case…everyone! Hands up if you don't want Atobe to say his speech! *Sweatdrops at the insane number of hands that are being raised*
Lianna-Snow: *Shakes her head* Here, Kikumaru-kun, let me help. All those who WANT Atobe-san over there to say his speech please raise your hands!
All: *Keeps quiet as they look around the room to see who dares to betray them*
Lianna-Snow: *Turns to smile at Eiji* See, Kikumaru-kun? That settles your issue.
Eiji: *Gulps*Eto…there are no hands…*continues looking around the room*
Atobe: *Sobs shojo-style* I can't believe you people don't appreciate ore-sama's prowess!
Midori-Emmi: *Suddenly appears behind him*Well, since majority wins, you can't say your speech. Allow me to assist with that.
All: *Watches as the authoress ties Atobe up and gags him, before throwing him off the stage into the despairing corner*
Kikumaru: *Gasps* How did the stage come about, nya! Why didn't we find out we were on a stage earlier, nya! Ho-
Entire of Seigaku: Shut up! We know!
Eiji: *Goes to emo at the despairing corner because his teammates shouted at him. Yes, even Oishi*
Hiyoshi: Atobe-buchou being tied up and gagged then thrown to the corner kind of happened before…
Lianna-Snow: *Ignores Hiyoshi cuz he is a minor character*Midori! You have finally returned from the abyss of despair!
Midori-Emmi: Actually, I was emoing for more reasons than just now…*glares at Renji*…and yes, you could say I'm feeling better now:) Oh and I have just built a nice, dark house to keep all those fungi that have been grown in the past chapter. While you people were not looking.
Momoshiro, Inui and Renji: *Are crying tears of joy*
Kentarou: *Rallies up the Rokkaku regulars*Everyone, look! Kurobane-senpai is on the rankings!
Entire of Rokkaku: *Crying TT_TT tears with a random dramatic sunset background* Thank you, Bane…for helping us revive Rokkaku's glory! We are indebted to you! *Bows at Bane's feet*
Oshitari: Since when DID Rokkaku ever have any glory to begin with?
Entire of Rokkaku: Oh yeah! *Depressed as the sunset background rips comically*
Kurobane: *Sweatdrops with his mouth open*
Amane: Bane is a dane…pfft!
(A/N: Bane rhymes with 'dane (Yanagisawa's onomatopoeia)', and the duck relation being his mouth open! XD Get it?)
Kurobane: *Kicks David in the head*
Yanagisawa: *Is unhappy that his trademark onomatopoeia is being used so lamely*
Saeki: *Depressed in a corner as he was berated for his hair colour in the chapter before last, not mentioned at all in the last chapter, and is ignored this chapter by all his teammates even though he got 6th place, which is 4 ranks better than Kurobane*No one cares about me…
Aoi: I'm so sorry Saeki-senpai! I didn't see your ranking! I thought it was some other hotshot player whose romanji name also started with an 'S'!
Saeki: *Goes into deeper depression as Kentarou just implied that he was not a hotshot player. He's a tennis regular on Rokkaku, dammit!*
Random player: Ah! Rikkai is back!
Yukimura: Hi all *smiles*
Midori-Emmi: Ano…why are you all covered in sand? Its dropping all over the floor…
Entire of Rikkai: *Looks down at their clothes* Oh…that…
Jackal: *Clears his throat to get attention* Well, at first buchou only called us over to help keep an eye on Marui who was running his 1000 laps, and then Niou was assigned 1000 laps later because he drew on Sanada-fukubuchou's rock…and we were bored…
Midori-Emmi: Uh…and how does that explain the sand 0.o?
Jackal: No, I'm not finished yet. Because at that time, Niou still had 950 laps and Marui still had 900 laps…so we were bored…and…
Midori-Emmi: You said that once alread- *is shushed by the crowd*
All: We want to hear the 'Mystery of the Sand-Covered Clothes'! *Sits around Jackal cross-legged and looks up at him with puppy eyes*
Jackal: *Is flattered*
Midori-Emmi: *Not happy because she was shushed and she wasn't even interrupting*
Lianna-Snow: *Reads Midori's action line* Actually, Midori…you were interrupting.
Jackal: *Coughs to get attention again* And so we were all bored watching the lot of them running. Then we realised that there was actually a random beach to compliment the random sunset over there! Coincidently, Akaya also had some buckets and spades with him…and…so…
Midori-Emmi: *Has the -.-"" look*…you guys started playing with the sand? Oh and why did Akaya have those things with him?
Akaya: Well…they were just there…*blushes as he suddenly remembers something*…don't ask.
Jackal: Yep. So we had a sandcastle making competition, and ended up like this. End of story *smiles*
All: *Gives a standing ovation*
Jackal: *Is so happy that he is finally being listened to. So happy, everyone suddenly got the imagery that he was wearing a formal suit in all his bald glory, grinning happily and receiving an Academy Award (I no own:D) trophy which had a life-sized golden tennis ball attached to the trophy's head…and it was also covered in sand…*
Sanada: *Goes around slapping everyone to free them of the disturbing imagery* Tarundoru…
Yukimura: Oh? I've been nominated for 8th place? *Smiles* Thanks readers.
Inui: My data says that the reason is because Yukimura also has a younger sister and therefore has experience taking care of younger siblings just like Tachibana.
Tachibana and Yukimura: *Smiles glowingly at the same time because they both have younger sisters*
Shiraishi: Hey look, I'm in 9th place!
Entire of Shitenhouji: Hurray! Buchou got a ranking!
Shiraishi: *Twitches*Oi! What's that supposed to mean?
Entire of Shitenhouji: *Sweatdrops*Uh…we mean…buchou is awesome for helping our team get a place in the rankings!
Shiraishi: *Smiles happily*That's my te-
Note: There has just been a sudden blackout.
Dan: *In the dark* Heh? What happened to the light, desu? Why was there a sudden blackout, desu!
Inui: It is possible that the authoress' computer has overheated from her typing too long on it…
Midori-Emmi: *Throws her Biology textbook at Inui* My computer is innocent.
Momoshiro: *Is hit by the book* Ouch! What the heck was that for, authoress-san? This book is friggin thick and heavy…
Midori-Emmi: *Laughs nervously*I kind of…can't see in the dark right now…
All: *Gasps* How-
Note: The lights have come back on.
Kintarou: Oh noes! The authoress can't see in the dark!
Kenya: We must do something to solve this problem…
Zaizen: I read from somewhere that inability to see in the dark is due to lack of vitamin A…
Kintarou: AHA! *Points to Zaizen* That's it! Shiraishi, we need to give her some vitamin A supplements!
Zaizen: *Is happy that he got to say something*
Shiraishi: *Nods* Gin, please pass me my tennis bag from over there.
Gin: *Hands Shiraishi his tennis bag*
Shiraishi: *Thanks Gin before unzipping it and ploughing through its contents*I think I'm gonna need some help here…
Rest of Shitenhouji: On it!
Shiraishi: *Hands Kenya a big cardboard box* Those are the flu and cough medicines…*continues rummaging*
Gin: *Is handed an identical box labelled 'Fever Medicines'*
Zaizen: *Is handed an identical box labelled 'Tranquilizers'*
All: *Blinks and stares at Zaizen, he shrugs*
Yuuji: *Is handed an identical box labelled 'Antibiotics'*
Koharu: *Is handed an identical box labelled 'Bandages and Plasters'*
Kintarou: *Holds his hand out eagerly*
Shiraishi: …no, Kin-chan. These are too heavy for you.
Shiraishi: *Looks around* Oh there you are, Chitose! Please do help.
Chitose: *Is handed an identical box labelled 'Tampons and Sanitary Pads'* Uh…Shiraishi…
All: *Either putting their hands over their eyes in horror, nosebleeding, or laughing*
Shiraishi: Yes? *Sees the box* A-Ah…must have given you the wrong one…
Chitose: *Is handed an identical box labelled 'Condoms and Lube'* Eh…Shiraishi…
All: *Either backing into a corner, nosebleeding even harder, or punching the floor laughing. And yes, Tezuka and Sanada is in one of the categories.*
Shiraishi: Yes, Chito- *sees the box* A-Ah…wrong box again…
Chitose: *Is handed an identical box labelled 'Steroids'* Ano…Shiraishi…
All: *Either whimpering in a corner, using up boxes of tissue for their nosebleeds, or rolling on the floor laughing*
Shiraishi: Yes…*looks at the box* That's the correct one, Chitose. *Goes back to rummaging*
Chitose: *Sweatdrops as he does a double-take, and is disappointed when the label still says the same thing. He even rubbed his eyes, dammit!* Ok…
Shiraishi: *Oblivious to the crowd behind him*That's strange…I can't find the vitamins anywhere…
Midori-Emmi: *Has the 0.0 face* How the heck can you lose them when you can even store such *coughcoughahemcoughcoughahem*…items in your bag?
Shiraishi: I don't know…*rummages even deeper*…AHA! There it is!
All: *Has the O.O expression as Shiraishi takes out a cupboard as tall as him*
Shiraishi: *Once again oblivious to the crowd, searching the vitamin cupboard* Yep, there they are!
Kintarou: *Takes the 5 bottles of vitamin A tablets and hands them to the authoress*
Midori-Emmi: *Sweatdrops massively* I was going to refuse…but after all this…*takes one of the bottles and pops 2 tablets before returning it to Kintarou with thanks:)*
Shiraishi: *STILL oblivious to the crowd behind him as he smiles brightly* Well, now we have settled the problem of the authoress, so its all good *takes the boxes one by one and keeps them*
Lianna-Snow: Ano…Shiraishi-kun? I think Midori asked this earlier, but how the heck do you fit those boxes into your bag?
Shiraishi: *Blinks* Well, we are in an anime. And anything can happen in an anime:)*Continues packing*
Akaya: *Trying to break the tense atmosphere, chuckling nervously* E-Ehe…it would be really funny if he found a huge bowl of chicken salad in that bag…right? Ehe…
All: *Nod in agreement* Yes…yeah…it would be…
Akaya: Ehe…ehe…it…can't possibly happen…
Shiraishi: Oh wow, I just found something interesting in here!
Mizuki: And…what may that be?
Shiraishi: A HUGE bowl of chicken salad that is still fresh! *Holding a HUGE bowl of chicken salad*
All including Midori and Lianna: *Is stoned*…
Shiraishi: *Is puzzled* Eh? Why is everyone stoning?
Inui: *Ignoring Shiraishi* Come to think of it…there were actually 2 special days back that we did not remember…
Kintarou: Heh? What special day?
Marui: I don't remember any special day…
Lianna-Snow: Eh? Where did Midori and Sanada-kun go?
All: *Points to the despairing corner*
Midori and Sanada: *In a deep state of depression*
Lianna-Snow: *Aura suddenly grows big* People…have you forgotten a certain 2 days of last week?
All:*Gulp nervously* Uh…
Kirihara: *Punches his palm* Oh yeah! Last Saturday was Sanada-fukubuchou's birthday!
Renji: *Slaps Kirihara* That is correct.
Kirihara: *Holds his cheek in shock* Why did you slap me if I was correct, senpai?
Renji: Because I was doing it on behalf of Genichirou.
Sanada: *Brightens up and his thundercloud turns into sunshine as he skips happily back to his relieved teammates…*
All except Rikkai: That was…disturbing…
Lianna-Snow: And Midori's birthday was on the 20th! On Friday!
Midori-Emmi: *Nods and randomly draws on the ground using a twig*
All: Oh…*turns to authoress*…Happy Belated Birthday then.
Midori-Emmi: *Brightens up and her thundercloud turns into sunshine as she skips happily back to Lianna, only looking fine skipping because she is a girl*
Midori-Emmi: *Smiles back*Well…anyways, its getting late and we should really go.
All: You mean YOU need to go…
Midori-Emmi: Are? Are you guys saying that you want to stay?
All: *Clamber out the door except for those still residing in the 'Depression Corner Condominiums' as it has just been recently dubbed. And by recent, I mean 5 seconds*
Oshitari: *Shifts his glasses* I believe you left me out of the conversations on purpose…
Midori-Emmi: *Smiles brightly* Yep! :D
Oshitari: …nevermind*walks out the door*
Dan: Authoress-san! Thanks for having me here today!
Midori-Emmi: *Inwardly squealing at Dan's cuteness* You're welcome:)
Dan: *Nods and runs out the door*
Midori-Emmi: *Looks around* Aww…no one is left to give my disclaimer…
Lianna-Snow: I'm still here.
Midori-Emmi: *Has a bubbly and flowery shojo background* You are my saviour, Lianna!
Lianna-Snow: Midori does not own any of the characters in this fic, nor does she own much else except for the humour. She also says that she would also appreciate if readers would read and review her chapters if they were happy cuz she worked her butt off to add more humour.
Midori-Emmi: …and also, I simply twisted some characters and random whatnot around simply for the sake of crack…so please don't flame:( Flames will chase my pyrophobic muses away and I won't be able to write! *Gasps* Oh the horror!
Lianna-Snow: So you done yet?
Midori-Emmi: Yup:) Lets go sleep now.
Lianna-Snow: *Yawns* Goodnight.
Midori-Emmi: *Yawns as well* Good night, readers:) Have a wonderful night and please give me something constructive, ok?
Please Review! Reviews are the air we authors breathe, the food we authors eat, the water we authors drink! Don't let us die just like that!
Thank you very much for reading, will update soon.