Disclaimer: So's to avoid any legal attempts at defenestration, I'll say it now. Real vampires don't sparkle. Oh, and I don't own these guys or much else aside from coffee.
Superboy sat at the water's edge while the moon hung high in the sparkling night sky. The ocean reflected a vague image of the moon's figure, hardly more than a silver smudge on its surface. White pin pricks dotted the inky black night, complimenting the full, luminous sphere. The waves washed over his bare feet, boots discarded behind him, and wet his pants from hem to calf.
He barely noticed. His thoughts and attention were focused inward.
Sometimes, he almost wishes he'd stayed with Cadmus. Alive without feeling. He almost thinks it would be better than this. Because this feeling, a tight twisting in his gut, stinging behind his eyes, his thoughts chasing each other, and hurt, is too much. It hurts. Because all he knows about Superman is that he is so great, and he does amazing things. That is who he is supposed to be. Who he was created to be. He exists because of that man.
But that same man gives him nothing of himself. Not his time, or his attention, or acknowledgement. Only rejection. And it hurts, way deep down, all over, and it's so confusing because he doesn't understand, and he feels so stupid and angry at himself. Because he doesn't know what he did, to make him act that way. He doesn't know what he needs to do to fix it.
Why won't he just talk to him? Why won't he tell him what to do? He'd gladly take an order from Superman. Anything he said, he'd do, gladly. If only the man would just look at him and recognize that he is here. He exists. Because of him.
But he won't and all he has is the hope of waiting that maybe one day, he'll come around. That's what Dinah had said, right? That day seems so far from now when he feels such terrible loneliness pull at him.
Sometimes, he wonders if he'll even care when that miraculous day comes.
He might not care out of spite. Months of neglect, and Superman decides to come around. He might just claim that he needs to be somewhere else, like the other side of the planet, and leave the Man of Steel all alone.
Maybe Superman would hate him then. Because he can't seem to get anything else from him. At least people think about the ones they hate, right? If he were to become everything Superman fought against, he'd hate him.
But if he ever did that – murder, lie, steal – he'd hate himself. So then, there were some things he wouldn't do, even for him.
At least there, he wouldn't ache like this.
Numb and blank. Told what to do, told what to feel. Always told be numb.
Sometimes, he really missed that.
He didn't know how long he sat there alone in his tedious thoughts, and he wasn't completely sure when the other boy got there, but Robin sat next to him, still in uniform after his training session with Black Canary. He hadn't been able to make it earlier because of some business in Gotham. By this time, the rest of the team was home and in bed. Neither spoke for a long time. In fact, Superboy didn't even acknowledge the younger hero's presence.
Superboy blinked, just coming back to himself, and looked at Robin from the corner of his eye. He saw that Robin wasn't looking at him, but up at the night sky.
Somewhat annoyed at the interruption, as it was a private pity party, he snapped. "What?"
Casually ignoring the lightly threatening tone, he grinned. "You don't see him?" Robin leaned back on his elbow and pointed. "He's right there, plain as, well, day."
Superboy turned warily from the Boy Wonder to look where he was pointing.
"All I see is stars."
Looking completely gobsmacked, as much as he could with his eyes hidden, Robin gasped dramatically. "You mean to tell me you can't see the warrior Orion and his trusty utility belt?"
Superboy felt his familiar friends annoyance and confusion creep up. They three had gotten to be good buddies over the last few months. "Utility belt?"
What kind of foolishness…
"Of course! Just follow that line of stars there."
What in the world was he talking about? Had he gotten hit too hard during sparring or something?
Superboy sighed and looked again. This was ridiculous. They were just stars. What did Robin see –
"Do…you mean those three stars there?"
"That's the belt. Now look around it."
Superboy didn't have to look to know that the other boy had a 'full of himself' smirk on his face; he could hear it. Still, he did as he was told and perceived the vague impression of a person holding –
"Is that a bow?"
"It sure looks one, doesn't it? Look behind him for a right angle triangle close to a really bright star."
Intrigued, Superboy looked again. He found them and a few others that looked like they went together, but didn't immediately see it.
"What are they supposed to be?"
"The Canis Major."
"The Big Dog," Superboy translated.
He stared long and hard at the constellation.
"It doesn't have ears."
"This is stupid."
The silence that followed was common. Oftentimes, Superboy would say something to either Wally or Robin, and both boys would merely stop. Like they didn't know what to say. He felt that if they'd been talking to each other, that silence would have been filled with comments that would have been considered offensive if the two were any less friends.
He felt that a lot of times, they thought he wouldn't get it. He hated that they were probably right.
"That's the Big Dipper," Robin said instead, pointing to a constellation that did indeed resemble that object. "Now broaden your scope some. Tell me that doesn't look like a bear to you."
"It doesn't look li-"
"Oh, come on!"
Robin threw up his hands in mock exasperation and threw Superboy a lazy glare. The Kryptonian hybrid shrugged and looked dangerously close to amused.
"You said to tell you it doesn't."
"But you do see it, right?"
"In a weird, modern art kind of way, if I squint and turn my head," Robin pushed his arm, and he let himself move with it. "then yeah."
Robin went on to tell him the story of Perseus and Andromeda in his own convoluted way. A few times, somewhere between Perseus stealing the Graeae's eye and how he did eventually end up killing his grandfather, Superboy almost laughed.
He truly appreciated the distraction.
Sometimes, he thinks he would have been better off had he stayed with Cadmus. Every time he does, he's reminded how wrong that thought is.
A/N: Forgive me if my information concerning stars is wrong. My bad, yo.
Also, angst is not exactly my cup of tea. Not to say I don't enjoy a good old-fashioned 'everything sucks' fic ('with a side of I shall overcome!), but I'm not terribly good at it. What I'm saying is, I would like some genuine feedback a bit more substantial than 'I liked it' and 'I didn't like it'. Um…why? Just tell me why or why not. Please and thank you:)