Quick A/N: There are bits of this chapter that were in the last chapter and I know how annoying that is but B&E have such differing viewpoints I had to do it really. I don't really know what happened to this chapter – it did go mildly insane, as you can probably tell by the chapter title; in a good way… a bit like BD. Gosh. Loved it. Thoughts at the bottom in a predictably long A/N ;)

Previously… (EPOV)

"Could I take flowers round?"

"I guess so."

"Okay, I have a plan."

Jasper laughs at my excitement. "Good, go get her then."

"Oh I will," I assure him. After the microwave buzzes, signalling that my dinner is done, I end my conversation with Jasper, eat my dinner and go to bed feeling optimistic once again.

If everything goes according to plan then I can get Bella to stop hating me and go out with me instead. Then I can get money from Emmett and, if I save up enough, maybe even persuade Tanya into letting me keep Finn for the whole summer when it comes around.

All I have to do is not fall in love with Isabella Swan.


I'm dragging and I'm bleeding, I'm begging and I'm pleading

Cos I thought you had another, and you cannot have another lover

I don't believe in a'loving with a ball and chain, cos I feel how it cripples me inside

I thought you were a'cheating, I couldn't bear you leaving

Now I know you didn't do it, I need you to believe me when I say

I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it

When I said I didn't mean it baby, I didn't mean it

-I Didn't Mean It, The Belle Brigade (Naturally obsessed with the BD soundtrack right now… it's crazy good, especially this song, Christina Perri and The Features)

One Plus One

Chapter 8 – Of course Dr Edward Cullen does not spent his sleepless nights debating the pros and cons of flashing people power panties

Bella POV

The day after the 'date' with Edward, I feel like I'm walking on cloud nine. I don't know why but I do know that I feel happier than ever. The day after that I'm up before my alarm and even arrive at work early, although I deny the real reason for that even to myself. The traffic was lighter than usual, I tell myself. I must've gotten ready really, really fast. I was looking forward to seeing Angela, now back to work and fully recovered. But when I leave at the end of the day without having seen Edward even for the tiniest second, the feeling of rejection and disappointment that instantly floods through me tells me what I think I knew all along. And it scares me that he can make me feel like that.

When I get home, I'm miserable. And that misery only intensifies when I go to the freezer for some comfort Ben and Jerry's to find that I have almost no food at all. I try to be thankful – because, let's face it, it's much better for me to go and distract myself with grocery shopping than sitting around listening to weepy music, bawling like a baby and scoffing an entire tub of B&Js – but it's pretty hard when I'm finding it difficult to put any effort into anything. Regardless, I make a small list of absolute necessities and decide to wing it with the rest of my purchases. I know this is a bad idea because if I don't meticulously plan what I'm going to buy I end up splurging and us mere receptionists aren't paid half as much as doctors, but whatever. The sooner I make the list and leave, the sooner I can get back and curl up with a pint of ice cream, feel sorry for myself and watch The Notebook which is my favourite movie when I need to cry. Obviously.

So I change into a pair of sweat pants and a hoody which has a questionable stain that looks like baked bean sauce on the sleeve but smells like washing powder so must be clean (at least, that's my logic) and step into my Ugg boots and then I'm gone.

I happen to be in the ice cream aisle towards the end of my shop with a ridiculously full trolley when I bump into Emmett. And I mean literally bump into.

"Hey Bell!" he exclaims far too excitedly considering that I just rammed him with my trolley. He's got that annoying smirk that tells me he knows something I'd probably rather he didn't.

I wonder what that could be for a second before it clicks that maybe Edward kisses and tells. Oh God. I feel my cheeks heat and smile shyly, mumbling, "Hi."

Emmett looks at my trolley and raises his eyebrow. "Feeding the five hundred or something?"


"Just kidding." His pointy elbow jabs me in the rib. His eyebrows furrow and he reaches into my trolley, pulling out a bag of bean sprouts. "What the fuck are these?"

"Bean sprouts," I reply. "A vegetable." I briefly ponder whether that should have been the plural 'vegetables' but I know Emmett wouldn't care either way.

He wrinkles his nose and drops them back in the trolley. "What the hell do you use them for?"

I shrug. "Stir fry? Chinese dishes. Whatever, really."

"Why don't you just get take-out?"

I sigh at Emmett's philosophy. "Because take-out's expensive, and really, really bad for you."

"Whatever, it tastes good." Thankfully, he changes the subject. "Have you had a good few days off?" Or not so thankfully.

"Um… yeah. They've been… good." I really hope he doesn't bring Edward up because I certainly don't want to.

Emmett nods. "Cool. Do anything interesting?"

"Nope. Just… you know… sat around at home. Didn't do anything really." I don't know why I'm lying. Perhaps it's the realisation that Edward doesn't kiss and tell. Perhaps it's the realisation that I kind of wanted him to. Or the realisation that I'm stupidly hung up on him and his magical lips. "How about you?"

"The usual. Went round Jasper's with Edward. Played Xbox. Went to Chuck E Cheese. Slept."

I hate how my chest constricts when he says Edward's name. What is wrong with me? For some reason, the name Jasper rings a bell somewhere in my mind as well but I can't quite place it. I know somewhere I've heard that name before and it must be the same person because, really, how many Jaspers do you meet (or hear about) on a daily basis? I ponder it for a second and then shrug it off, thinking Edward must've mentioned him if they're friends, as they seem to be. "Cool," I say, for lack of a better response.

We make a little more small talk before it gets awkward and we part ways. Emmett asks if I'm working the next day and I remember that I'm not which only serves to depress me slightly because I don't know what I'll do to take my mind off Edward for a whole day. It's probably because of being in that state of mind that I buy a ton of ice cream.

I regret both the ice cream and the bean sprouts when my total comes to $137 for food that probably won't even last two weeks. I'm even more irritated with myself when I read the receipt over in my car and find that I bought two family packs of lasagne pasta sheet things. I don't ever have time to make lasagne! And who the hell needs bean sprouts?

So, despite my best efforts to distract myself, a long bath, two episodes of Glee and an entire can of ravioli later, I'm sitting on the couch eating ice cream and crying about how retardedly obsessed with Edward Cullen I am.

It's about then that I realise my life kind of sucks.


Rose calls that evening and catches me at a bad time and I end up regaling her with my predicament about having to distract myself the next day and she says she'll call in sick at her work and come over. I try to protest but she points out that she hates her job (she works in an office as an assistant generally doing really boring admin work or something; she's been doing it for five years, desperate for a promotion her asshole of a boss won't give her though she deserves it way more than Irena did… at least, that's what Rose says) and her boss, plus she has to use up all of her sick days sometime before Christmas which is rapidly approaching. So I give in, not that she had to try very hard to persuade me.

The next day, Rose turns up still in her pyjamas with an armful of DVDs, all of which are old cheesy musicals – with a sing-along option. So we spend the better part of the morning curled together on my couch singing "Climb Every Mountain", "Mamma Mia" and "Every Dream Will Do" in terribly off-key voices but it is hilariously funny. Then we have lunch and Rose gets serious.

"Now, not to be horrifically bitchy or anything," she says, which means she's going to be horrifically bitchy in t minus one second, "but why are you so miserable? It was just the one date, right? And you haven't even seen him since. Why are you so pissed off with the guy?"

"I'm not pissed off with him, per say," I tell her with a mouthful of cheese toasty. "I'm more pissed off with me."

"But why?"

I think about this. I suppose it's plausible that I'm overreacting just a tad. "I don't know. I just… I feel all these things for him that are ridiculous."

"Not if he isn't married, like he says he isn't." The look on Rose's face tells me she still isn't entirely convinced of this fact but she's being really good today and not voicing her opinion that Edward is still a dickwad. Though I'm beginning to wish she would say that just so that I'd realise it myself.

"I just… really like him. And I don't feel like I should. And it scares me. Kind of."

Rose sighs in exasperation. "Look, Bella. We both know I don't really like this guy and I get why you're scared of liking him after the major fuckheads you've dated but if you like him, you like him. Just go with it, it's not a bad thing. Unless he's a bad person and you seem adamant that he's not; and I'm not saying that your judgement's foolproof but it's not awful. Plus, not to revert back to the junior high state-of-mind or anything but he did kiss you so he probably likes you back."

"That is very junior high," I agree.

"Bella," she whines, "so not the point."

"Okay, okay!" I sigh and throw my hands up in surrender. "What do you suggest?"

Rose sticks her lips out in a thoughtful pout. "Just don't be scared. Go with the flow. Whatever happens, happens, okay? And if you like him for fucks sake ask him out!"

I nod, although we both know that probably won't happen.

"But first, let's go shopping. I'm in need of some good retail therapy so God knows how you're feeling."

"Rooose." I scowl and cross my arms. "I don't like shopping."

"We can go in the little book shop?" she offers, knowing of my love for that shop.

I pull my right brow up to tell her that I'm unconvinced.

"Look, I'll buy you some nice lingerie. Then you can seduce Edward with some epically pretty power panties and everyone will live happily ever after."

I blush furiously. "Rose!"

"Oh, come on. Admit it, power panties rule."

I'm about to deny it but then I remember how it felt when Edward's eyes had lingered on my bare legs, my braless chest… when he had pressed me against the wall, his body a millimetre away from mine. And then I realise how very much I want it to happen again. And how much further I might want it to go. Maybe some power panties wouldn't be too bad after all.


The next day I check the schedule as soon as I get in to see when Edward's working. I'm now incredibly excited about seeing him again, wondering what kind of response I'll get from him. It turned out that Victoria's Secret had a sale on so Rose and I splurged just a little despite my splurge the night before and I now had enough sexy underwear to last me a lifetime and had spent nearly the whole night plotting ways I could perhaps position my underwear so Edward might see it. But it turns out that the plotting was a waste of time really since Edward has an overnight and starts four hours after I finish and will then finish an hour and a half before I start again the next day. The good news is that our shifts cross over two days after that, though, so maybe I'd see him then.

I adjust my underwear so that none of the conspicuous red lace is showing above the tops of my trousers lest Mike Newton is around and get to work.

Unsurprisingly, the day passes slowly even after I get home. In the evening I sit in my living room with my laptop screen displaying a blank email addressed to Edward. I must start a new email about thirty-seven times… okay, exactly thirty-seven times, but delete every single one. I can't help but wonder if it's a tad stalkerish to email him now that we've kind of cut communication ties even though we did share the hottest kiss I've ever experienced.

In the end my laptop dies and I'm kind of glad that it does that before I can make an idiot out of myself. So, thinking it's a sign telling me not to be anymore spaztastic than usual, I go to bed to eliminate the risk of plugging the laptop in and doing something really stupid. I don't get an awful lot of sleep, though.

I go without power panties the next day because I know I won't be needing them, thanks to my mildly obsessive checks of the schedule. I've even recorded when he's working on my BlackBerry. Good Lord, I need to get a life.

An hour into my shift, though, I hear his voice. Had he said anything other than what he did say, I would have questioned my sanity and maybe called Rose in distress to tell her that I'm clearly hallucinating. But he said, "Can I please get the record for a Mr Joe Wilkins ASAP?" which kind of implies that he's real because what kind of dull hallucination would ask a work-related question? If he was a hallucination, he'd probably say something like "Bella, I've missed you so much. Come into the store cupboard with me where we can proceed to make love for the rest of your shift." I know this because such hallucinations have been plaguing me for the past hour.

I blink and realise that if he is real – which, as I've said, he must be – he's waiting for a response. "Uh… sure."

I get up from my chair and go to the filing cabinet, muttering "be still my beating heart" because a) I am clearly a closet nerd to be quoting William Mountfort at random points in time and b) it feels like I've just run a marathon and I can't be dealing with that right now. I glance over my shoulder to see that Edward has his eyes shut. He looks like shit – or as much as like shit as that man can look – and incredibly tired. I wonder if he's been lying awake debating the pros and cons of flashing people power panties as I have been before realising that I'm lacking in sleep and this thought is ridiculous because of course Dr Edward Cullen does not spend his sleepless nights debating the pros and cons of flashing people power panties. He thinks about… well, probably runs through how to do heart transplants and how much money he earns and probably debates with himself as to whether brain surgery is beneficial to the insane. Such as yours truly.

Eventually, I find the file in question and take it to him. I have to clear my throat to get his attention, although now I'm feeling nervous about what he'll say when he realises that I'm… well, me. Considering the last time I saw him I had been holding very tightly on to his shirt and we had just sucked face and all. But he doesn't even look at me.

"Edward?" I ask after a moment. "Are you okay?"

He seems to hesitate but then looks up and my eyes meet green. He has very, very nice eyes.

"Yeah, I'm okay," he replies.

That's it? I push my lips together and nod, feeling stupid that I almost expected him to fawn over me. Stupid Rose and her stupid junior high talk. He probably likes you back. Whatever, Rose.

He finishes writing on the form and gives it back, muttering a "Thanks" and then turning to leave.

I'm about to slouch in my seat in utter disappointment when he turns back, comes all the way back to the desk and says my name.

I lift my head and it's like it's pulling my heart up on a string. "Yes?"

The corner of his mouth twitches downwards, almost like a nervous tick, and then he says something really fast and completely inaudible that sounded something like "wood chew girthwid eagen sunshine". It's actually very cute.

"Sorry, I didn't quite catch that."

Edward takes a deep breath. "I just… wondered… would you like to… well you know… like… gofor dinner… again. Maybe."

What. I can't speak. Is he asking me out? On a date? Holy mother of fish paste.

Before I can speak he adds in a rush, "Not that you have you. You really don't have to, it's entirely not compulsory I just thought it might be quite nice because the other night was fun and you know-"

"Like a date?" I cut him off because this still isn't going in.

He nods and I feel like all my Christmases have come at once. I realise this is absolutely moronic. I am acting like a fifteen-year-old with a crush for goodness sake. Play it cool, Bella I tell myself. Play. It. Cool.

But, once again, before I have the chance to say or do anything to agree to go out with this gorgeous man again he negates everything he just said. "That's fine. Don't worry about it. Just forget I ever said that, I'm so tired and I don't really know what I'm saying. Come to think of it, I was kind of drunk the other night too, so just… disregard everything. You know. It's not… none of it meant anything. Goodbye Bella."

Um. What just happened?


"What? Bella, slow down," Rose says. She sounds confused.

I'm on a 'bathroom break'; Edward left ten minutes ago and what he said is just sinking in. Of course the first thing I did was call Rose. "He said none of it meant anything," I wail dramatically down the phone. "None of it! He said… he was drunk and… and…" I'm actually crying now. I know if I was watching myself I'd slap me and tell me to pull myself together. But real-time, distressed me can't tell herself to get it together.

"Bella, Bella, just breathe. Okay? Now speak a bit slower. What happened?"

I swallow. "I saw Edward."

"Mmm hmm, I got that much."

"And he asked me out."

"And the issue here is…?"

"He took it back. He said to forget it all and that all of it – including the other night – meant nothing. Nothing!"

"Bella, a kiss never means nothing."

"Yes it does!" I wail hopelessly. "When I was on the rebound from James and got with that guy Tyler I kissed him and it meant nothing! What if I'm a rebound from his wife? Oh God, I knew he still loved her! I could see it in his eyes. Oh God, even power panties can't change that." I pause. "Oh God," I say again.

Rose sighs. "Bella, no offence or anything, but what the hell is wrong with you? You don't get this worked up over… a guy. A book, yes; Glee, yes; a guy? No. That's Alice's job, you know that."

"I know," I say quietly. "I don't know how he does this to me."

"Neither do I, honey, but it's okay. Just hang on for a few hours and I'll come have lunch with you and we can discuss this insanity, okay?"

I sniff, feeling rubbish. "Okay. Thanks Rose."

"Don't mention it. I'm sure you'll return the favour one day."

I promise I will, though I can't see the day that Rose will fall apart over a man, and we go back to work. I manage to push through the morning and lunch comes around fairly quickly. I meet Rose outside and we go to the Deli bar I visited with Emmett and Edward the other week but thankfully Rose distracts me before I can dwell on that. Apparently her asshole boss touched her ass in his office this morning and she isn't at all impressed judging by the way she rants about it throughout lunch and orders a chocolate milkshake rather than the usual glass of mineral water.

She's still in a pissy mood when we go back to the hospital, which I rather enjoy because it takes my mind off of Edward and is downright hilarious because when Rose gets started she doesn't stop. Emmett is clocking out for lunch when I return to clock in and Rose is still talking about her boss.

"…such an absolute prick, he just has no respect for women at all! I mean, who does that?"

Emmett raises an eyebrow at me. "Are you ladies talking about Edward again?"

I scowl because I had been doing a good job at putting Edward out of my mind.

Rose snaps out of her rant and glares at Emmett. "No, although he's another pervert who should be castrated. Don't you pay any attention to any of them, Bells," she says to me. "Men are all sick bastards. We should just go lesbian right now. Me and you."

"Hells yeah!" Emmett interjects because, apparently, he can't tell that Rose is really angry right now. Either that or he has no brain. "You guys would make the hottest couple ever."

Rosalie gives him a stare that would rival the ice queen. It's so bad that Emmett actually gets the message and mutters, "Bye Bella," before leaving to get his lunch – probably from Chuck E Cheese.

I giggle as Rose rolls her eyes. "Men," she says, as if her point needs any more driving home.


Thankfully, by the time I get home, I'm being much more realistic about everything. So Edward didn't mean any of it… so what? Am I entirely surprised? No. Well… maybe a little but – no. I'm not. He's just one of those guys who won't settle with anyone, least of all a receptionist like me. I mean, he did settle but it didn't work out so obviously he's probably just going to be a bachelor forever. Or for the foreseeable future, which is okay for him because men are fertile for, well, forever. It is not, however, okay for me because, as a woman, my years are already numbered.

Jesus, I can't believe I'm thinking about this man in terms of procreation. This is how bad I have it. Had it. I don't like the guy anymore. I just… don't have the energy for this kind of drama. Maybe I should just go out with Mike Newton. He's a doctor, too. He's as rich as Edward. He can support me and I can give up receptionist-ing to be a writer and there'll be no repercussions on me. I just… won't have pretty children with Edward's lovely green eyes.

I don't know why I'm thinking like this. A few hours ago all I wanted was a second date. Now suddenly I have this insanely strong desire to bear his children. That's weird, right? I don't even really know the dude. He'd probably be a shit father for all that I know. He's probably had no experience with children and would just drop the baby if we were to have one. He'd be awful.

So, having decided that I am officially over Edward Cullen, I call Alice and Rose in turn and invite them round on Saturday evening – in three days – after I finish work (since I finish fairly early that day) to celebrate being single. Alice is doubtful because she's still pining over the computer tech guy at her work but, really, how great can a computer nerd be anyway? Rose and I tell her he'd break her heart whatever happened because Alice throws herself headfirst into relationships – a bit like what I've stupidly just done with Edward. So eventually she agrees it's a good idea. Me and Rose are just looking forward to getting smashed and eating our weight in ice cream, since she's now worried that her boss won't give her that promotion unless she sleeps with him which she is not going to do because he is a slimy, smelly toad of a man who would probably give her some kind of fungal infection (her words).

Basically, we're all incredibly happy about our respective current situations. Ha.

But, just because I now have something other than Edward's existence to force myself to think about – impending parties equal a lot of planning for me – that doesn't mean I can avoid Edward's actual existence, even if I can avoid thinking about it. Although, I do pride myself on doing a pretty good job the next day, until I check my BlackBerry and realise he's not even working. The next day – Friday – however, he is working. He starts and finishes two hours after me so I'll be lucky not to see him.

For once, I seem to get lucky. I don't see him all day. The thought does cross my mind that maybe he's also actively avoiding me and I get quite upset about that until I take a bathroom break and berate my reflection sergeant-style, wagging my finger and everything. When my subconscious finally caves to my conscious and clears of all pining for Dr Cullen, I'm okay. I think.

I don't know how I feel after I've clocked out and am in the locker room getting my stuff. I don't know whether I'm disappointed or overjoyed that I've somehow managed the miraculous task of avoiding Ed- Dr Cullen. I do know that I miss him which is silly in itself because how can you miss someone you never really knew anyway?

I sigh and try to push these useless thoughts from my mind as I turn to head out. Only there's someone stood by the door, like the evil guy in the horror movies who waits until you notice him to kill you. I jump automatically when he moves, and my hand flies to my chest when I see it's not a person from a horror movie, it's Edward. From the way my heart's reacting, you'd think this was worse than the horror movie guy.

He apologises immediately. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

I can feel my hackles rising – metaphorically, of course – as I become defensive. "It's fine, you didn't," I lie automatically, not wanting to give him any impression of having the power in this exchange. Even though he does. "What do you want?"

He twists his hands together silently. It grates on my nerves and I can't work out why. Maybe because it draws attention to his fingers and I really like his fingers and I really don't want to like his fingers.

When a few minutes have passed and he still hasn't spoken, I can't hold my inner bitch back. "Well?" I snap impatiently.

He almost cowers under my glare and I begin to feel that maybe I do have the power here after all.

"I… um… I just wanted to apologise for what I said the other day. I was really, really tired and I didn't mean it at all," he stutters adorably.

For a second I want to hug him as I take in his appearance. He looks almost as rubbish as I do in the midst of all of these confusing feelings; and that's saying something. But I can't want these things. He's just not… right for me. And I haven't forgotten what he said the other day. None of it meant anything. So I shrug. "It's fine, we all say and do things we don't mean. I understand." I smile though now I've reminded myself of how miserable I am and even I know it's a half-hearted, rubbish smile. "See you round, Edward," I say, though this is the last thing I want. I head past him for the exit.

"Wait, Bella."

I don't want to stop but I do. I want to keep going but I can't walk away from him. So I look back at those huge green eyes, which seem full of confusion and sadness.

"Are um… are we still friends?"

I snort with laughter because we both know we were never really friends. He perved on me, I didn't like him, we went out on the weirdest date in history, sucked face a little, and now I'm majorly obsessed with him. I don't think we were ever friends amongst that. And then I realise he's serious. "We were friends?" I question with trepidation.

"Well… yeah." He looks confused, which confuses me.

"Whatever," I say, because I just don't have the energy for this. "Maybe I'll see you tomorrow."

Edward kind of hesitates, but doesn't tell me he's not working tomorrow. Yes, I know, I've memorised when he's working. It's only because I'm avoiding him.

After a moment, Edward starts speaking again and I just want to get out of there before this gets any more awkward, or I get PMS-y and knee him in the balls or something. "Well… do you maybe want to-?" Fortunately, his pager cuts him off and I seize the opportunity to escape.

As I drive home, I wonder if I should get a cat. With green eyes. That way I could have a kind of relationship which would be much easier – and so much less confusing – to maintain while getting to stare into those eyes when I woke up in the morning. I think I could do that without harbouring romantic feelings for the cat. At least, I'm pretty sure.


Saturday evening rolls around pretty fast and I'm so up for this party that Alice and Rose make a big joke saying that I've been abducted and replaced with an actual girl. I didn't say it was a very funny joke.

First of all, naturally we all share stories of woe, constantly drinking to the dickishness of men so between my Edward conundrum, Rose's pervert of a boss and Alice's unrequited 'love' it doesn't take that long for us to get suitably shitfaced. I should probably be more worried considering that it was the last time we were like this that has resulted in this situation but I just can't bring myself to care.

We've eaten far too much ice cream and drunken far too much alcohol to be anywhere close to sober and are all buzzing with pissed-off-ness when Katy Perry's 'Last Friday Night' comes up on shuffle on my iPod. I listen to the opening bars with piqued interest because it was on Glee recently and then I realise what significance this song seems to have for my life right now. Because we all know where I was last Friday night.

When it hits the line "it's a blacked our blur but I'm pretty sure it ruled" I get up and turn it up really loud before yowling the words to the chorus like a cat. Because we are all – as I've already said – entirely drunk, we think it's hilarious, especially when I get up to "dance on tabletops" (as per the song) and yell the line "think we kissed but I forgot" pulling a slutty face to go with it.

Rose has finished laughing her head off and gets up to join me and we both sing the second verse with gutso, screaming "that was such an epic fail" at each other.

As the chorus begins again, there's an annoying knocking noise. I say something to Alice about sorting it out as Rose and I continue dancing our asses off and singing entirely out of tune.

"Bella," I hear Alice say as me and Rose screech the kissing line again. I ignore her. At the line, "skinny dipping in the dark" I rub myself on Rose because – clearly – I have no idea what I'm doing. When we launch into the "this Friday night… do it allll again" I fall to pieces with laughter-cries.

"All again Bells, really?" Rose asks, quirking an eyebrow.

I think of Edward's lips, hair, body… "God," I groan, sounding somewhat like something from an X-rated movie. "I would-" Suddenly the room goes silent. Unfortunately, I do not have the sense to do the same and do not even lower the volume of my voice as I complete my sentence. "-if he wasn't such a gigantic prick!"

"Bella!" Alice says urgently.

I sigh, turning to look at her. "What, Alice?" And then I see him. Said "gigantic prick" is stood in my open doorway, holding this massive bunch of flowers and staring at me like I'm clinically insane. Which, let's face it, is not entirely beyond the realms of possibility right now.

Fuck my life.


See what I mean about the oddity of this chapter? I thoroughly enjoyed it though, it has to be said.

Also, I know I haven't replied to many of the reviews prior to today (if at all :/) but I've got a genuine excuse here in the form that I've been having huge internet problems and it takes an age to load ANYTHING which is driving me batty. Hopefully it's sorted now so I should do much better this time… if you review haha. Although I feel the need to point out that this update was quite fast ;)

Now. Breaking Dawn. Don't worry I WON'T spoil it too much but you might not want to read this bit if you haven't seen it yet anyhow. Buuut… how amazing was that movie? The first time I saw it (yes, I've seen it twice already…) I was like 'what was that?' because the second half of the movie was just so shockingly insane and the gore of the birth scene was just… ugh. I don't like scalpels but I couldn't look away. Gross. But the thing that impressed me most with this one was the acting, it has to be said. One thing I did notice seeing all four chronologically at the same time was that Kristen just gets better and better and she was INCREDIBLE in this one 3 Rob also did pissed off Edward sooooo well *wistful sigh* and Taylor's kind of always good but I don't like Jacob so… moot point. But bravo to Bill Condon, not at all what I was expecting after the honeymoon but he's done a fantastic job and this *MIGHT* be the best one yet. I'll have to see it a few more times before I can decide but it was excellent :) I don't think I could pick a favourite bit, but the 'seduction scene' in which Bella basically walks around in lingerie for five minutes certainly deserves a shout-out :L And Charlie. Bless him. LOVE IT!

Well… I hope you liked the chapter, and BD, and I'd love it if you'd review. You can review the movie and not the chapter if you like, but your opinion about everything and anything means the world to me. If you have a particularly strong feeling about bean sprouts I'd love to hear it.

Oh, and I'll send out a PREVIEW of the next chapter to those reviewers who are SIGNED IN! Because, yeah, I've been good enough to write some of the next chapter ;)

Thanks all!

-Steph x