AN: Yeah so, this is just a one shot for the sake of a one shot. I wrote this letter for someone as a way to get my feelings out there. And it fucking sucks ass. So yeah let's get on with it, also I changed parts so it fits. I do not have a beta and my grammar and everything else is heavy shite.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own twilight or anything. Just the original letter.

I hold my breath.
Tears are running down my cheeks.
Why is this so fucking hard?
We were best friends apparently
I hate him, I fucking HATE him.
But not her.
Never her.
She's gorgeous.
We became friends.
It fucking killed me.
I looked down at the letter I'd wrote, it's tear-stained. My hand still shaking.

I fucking love you! But you don't love me. Do you? You can't love me. I'll never compare to her. Never. All the shit you said to me? That was all lies wasn't it? EVERY FUCKING WORD! I FUCKING HATE YOU! But that's a lie. I could never hate you. Ever. I can pretend I do. When in reality I just can't. When she told me there was a chance you could be cheating on her? I was ecstatic! I thought "It's my chance to get him back!" but you weren't. Just wondering was I a joke to you? Just let's fuck about with the dumb cow she's just a slut anyway, besides it's not like she has feelings. I'll just fuck her and dump her but i'll go fucking insane when she starts liking other guys and she has to sit with a smile on her face when she pretends she doesn't know about all the other girls. All the other girls I did the exact same thing to. Am I just a game to you? You know I'll always end up back with you. So you can fuck me around again. All because I'm an immature, fucking pathetic, fat, ugly, dumb cow, just to name a few. So, yeah, I don't blame you but see the whole "yeah I'll come up next month and see you" then not following through? It hurts more than anything else and then using the whole "I've no money" excuse yet you can still pay to go see her? Yeah she's your girlfriend. You love her. You never know you might get married one day and I hope to god you do as she is an amazing girl and I will kick your fucking ass if you don't treat her right. I love her so much but I'm most likely a joke between you two. And most of the time you treat me like I'm five or I'm not there. So I've decided. I'm cutting the ties. MSN, Yahoo, Myspace, phone number, Facebook, the lot. I need to do this, I feel like such a total creepy psycho and I wish I had the guts to send this to you but I don't. I'm worthless. I'm not worth the shit I put you through all the complicated situations where you've chose me over others. I shouldn't have put you through that shit. I'm fucking sorry. And to be honest I wish I could go back and not go to the shop that day so I would never have met you. It sounds terrible but this has fucked my head up. Big time. You deserve more than putting up with my shit. It hurts like fuck writing this but I know you'll never read this so that makes it sorta easier to write this. So I'm getting out of your life. And i know I'll miss you like fuck but it'll hurt more talking to you. Everytime I said I loved you? I wasn't lying. I can't pretend that you two bring together doesn't hurt me anymore.

Have a nice life Edward.


And I put it into a brown envelope with Edward's name and address on it and lay it on my desk.

The next morning.

"Kate!" I screamed, scrambling through my desk.
"Yes Tanya?" she replied calmly
"There was a brown envelope on my desk, where is it?" Bordering hysterical.
"I put it in the mailbox this morning, mailman picked it up about ten fifteen minutes ago?"

Yeah so...That sucked.