Naruto was bored...his only source of amusement, a spirit named Bakura, was gone. Sure the guy was borderline psychotic, bloodthirsty and downright rude most days...but he was fun! Bakura was the only one Naruto knew who would teach him stuff without old man Hokage forcing them to. Naruto didn't know what all 'Shadow Magic' could do, but it did make him a better ninja, so he wasn't complaining.

Naruto met Bakura when he was three. And to hear a voice that snarky at that age surprised him. Still, Bakura did the one thing no one else had done ever.

He encouraged him. And he actually liked Naruto, which was by far different to the villagers.

So what if the rash of unexplained murders went up since he appeared?

By age eight, Naruto was considered a natural conduit for the Bakura's shock and delight. The rash of murders started to go down. Bakura taught Naruto all sorts of tricks which he applied at school. And shocked the hell out of his biased teachers. Where Naruto failed at scholarly things like tests, he excelled in the practicals.

Which is probably why the kid named Sasuke looked at him like a rival. Personally Naruto shrugged it all off, concentrating on his lessons with Bakura. Who liked to talk about what he did before he was stuck in Naruto.

(And just to clarify, Bakura is NOT the Kyuubi. He came after.)

So Bakura liked to kill people who hurt him and got away with it. And complained about someone called the Pharoah. He liked to help Naruto prank people!

Naruto age nine. Place, Hokage Monument with a three cans of paint, red, orange and black. Mission: paint heiroglyphics on the monument and escape Iruka.

Mission accepted.

(Naruto was later captured and made to clean up the insults he painted in Ancient Egyptian by Iruka. Bakura was a tad annoyed, but did nothing.)

What did Naruto paint in a language he only understood thanks to a certain tomb robber?

**Insults painted**

Yami Yugi is a dumbass. Zorc is a pathetic NOOB. The Hokage is a total Pervert (this was accidentally written in Kanji, which is was why Iruka was angrier than usual).

The Kyuubi will have your soul. Bakura and Naruto RULE!

Bakura walked through the sewer like corridor to the gilded cage that held the nine tailed fox. Why you ask? And how did he know of the fox?

Let's just say the fox impressed the tomb robber with the number of swear words it knew and leave it at that.

It was the weekly rant session between the two. You read that right. Bakura and Kyuubi liked to rant. It had started by accident after Bakura heard the fox angrily yelling about the one who put him in the cage in the first place, how he would like to rip his descendant/jailor a new one, and would like nothing more than to see someplace OTHER than a damn sewer.

Needless to say, Bakura's interest was perked, as some of the methods the guy described seemed particularly bloody, and he was bored. So imagine his surprise when he found out it was an enormous pissed off fox with nine tails and red eyes.

The fox took one suspicious look at him before the thief asked, "How exactly would you pull the brain out from this...Yondaime's ass?"

Kyuubi snorted.

"Anything is possible once you smash enough bones."

Bakura's grin made the demon's day.

"Bakura, five thousand year old thief king and all around bloodthirsty bastard."

"Kyuubi no Yoko, strongest of the Bijuu and bane to Konoha ninja."

They nodded in acknoledgement, and an unholy friendship was born between a psychotic thief and pissed off nine tailed demon fox. It helped that Bakura could talk to the kid since he wasn't sealed in him by blood and soul. As such, Naruto finally met the one he was holding in his body. It was an interesting meeting.

(Naruto, age seven after just starting in the academy)

'Bakura-nii, who were you talking to?'

'My new ranting buddy, Kyuubi.'


'Wait until we get home and you've eaten something. I'll introduce you.'

Naruto stopped at Ichiraku Ramen, ate his usual ten bowls, and left. Sitting in a comfortable position against the headboard on his bed, he meditated like Bakura showed him. And was immedaitely drawn into a sewer.

Which is how he finally found out what his beloved Bakura-nii looked like. Tan with a scar on his left eye, stark white hair and red brown eyes that held a bloodthirsty look. They vaguely reminded him of a Chuunin he saw eating Dango once. Man that chick was scary. (Anko)

He was also taller than Old man Hokage.

"Naruto! Bout time you showed up, gaki."

"Bakura-nii? You look weird."

"So do you. I did tell you I wasn't from here didn't I?"

"Ya, ya. So is Kyuubi really...?"

"I think this is the reason everyone treats you like trash. I've walked around in spirit form and overheard the adults talking about some law, which is probably why you didn't know about it."

"Why is this place a sewer?"

"Beats me. Come on, time for you to meet Kyuubi."

The fox wasn't happy, but it was still his day to rant about the fourth Hokage. Bakura cheerfully said he had put into practice some of the things Kyuubi described, which calmed the fox down enough to speak to Naruto without wanting to rip the boy's head off.

Once he finally got to know the fox (which he figured was a bigger version of his favorite brother Bakura) he got along fine with it. He couldn't talk to it without Bakura's help, but still, they reached an understanding. In fact it was Kyuubi who suggested skipping the clone jutsu and going straight to shadow clones.

Bakura was the one to take over, with Naruto's permission, and he snuck into Hokage tower to steal a forbidden scroll. Which was later returned exactly where he found it before the old man knew it was gone.

The old Hokage had no idea that now there was a second copy of the scroll in the hands of the by now notorious murderer who had been stalking the streets of Konoha for the past six years. The only problem with the case was that he changed his M.O. every time he killed, and no one could ever see him.

Many suspected Naruto, so he had ANBU positioned everywhere they could see the boy. And they reported something that threw all suspicion off the Kyuubi container.

Naruto was with an older boy with white hair and a tan each time the killings happened. They had no idea who the boy was, but the way Naruto acted clearly said he was practically family to the orphaned child.

The one time he confronted Naruto about the boy, he lit up and said "Bakura-nii is awesome! He's been teaching me how to be a better ninja!"

As far as he knew there were no Ninja on the payroll by the name of Bakura. Or had hair that white. The Hatake clan had silver hair, but not bone white.

Naruto described Bakura, and he shuddered. The lad sounded too much like a male version of Anko for his liking. Still, if he existed...he would surely peak Ibiki's interest. Until Naruto mentioned that Bakura had a friend named Kyuubi who looked like a huge fox with nine tails.

He sputtered a bit, and looked at Naruto in shock.

"He's friends with the Kyuubi?"

"Yeah, they listen to each other rant about people they hate. Bakura-nii doesn't like this guy who goes by either Pharoah or Yami Yugi, and Kyuubi hates the fourth. Still, they've been teaching me stealth and how to throw properly!"

The Hokage just stared. The Kyuubi...was teaching his container how to be a proper ninja. So he decided he had to meet this Bakura.

"Naruto, do you know how I can get ahold of this...Bakura?"

"Hang on and I'll go get him!"

He heard a vague poof, and Naruto brought out the same boy the ANBU reported. Who definitely reminded the old man of Anko, only without the snake obsession. His eyes were just as bloodthirsty as some Mist nin, but they also held a genuine concern for Naruto.

"Bakura. You must be Oji-san that the runt talks about."

"I don't believe we've ever met."

"You haven't. I mostly hang out with Naruto when he's bored. I've seen you off and on for about seven years now."

Which makes his arrival just barely coincide with the murders. Still, the man moved like a trianed shinobi...but he wore no headband.

"I'm not a shinobi, though it is pretty close to what I used to do. Professional thief."

"Nii-chan needs my help to remember jutsu! He can do some genjutsu but no ninjutsu," chirped Naruto.

"Would you be interested in becoming a shinobi then?"

Bakura gave him a grin. So he was interested. The Hokage set him up with Iruka for a bit, and was surprised that by the end of the month the boy had already become a genin. According to the scarred instructor, Bakura was a very quick learner, who only needed help with the basics of Chakra and control. His taijutsu was perfect, his genjutsu was disturbing but passable. His main problem was mostly Ninjutsu.

Naruto was thrilled, since it meant that Bakura would help him in areas he was still struggling with. The elders still weren't happy about the boy taking up Naruto's last name and unofficially becoming his older brother.

Then something odd happened right on Naruto's eleventh birthday. Only it happened to Bakura, and not him.

I see you are fitting in well here, Tomb Robber Bakura.

Bakura jolted up. He'd recognize the voice of Ra anywhere.

"What do you want? I don't want to pass on just yet. The kid needs me."

You heard right. Bakura cared about Naruto, who unlike Ryou actually encouraged the thief and his ways. In his words "I don't give a damn if you kill people. Just don't let them trace it back to me."

You are doing far better than the Pharoah is at this point...which surprised us more than we would like to admit.

Bakura growled.

"That damn idiot is here too? Who else did you bring? Marik?"

A silence filled the air. He groaned.

"You let Marik loose with me and the Pharoah...can you at least tell me who you stuck him with before he breaks loose on his own or drives someone to a killing spree?"

We let him go inside a boy named Itachi Uchiha.

"ITACHI? Are you bloody serious? He killed off his entire clan except for his brother!"

He seemed like a good candidate at the time...

Bakura snorted.

"So what do you lot want anyway?"

To give you your own body. Unlike the Pharoah, you have worked to change even if you deny it. And you have been getting along with your new hikari better than the others have.

" mean the Pharoah hasn't gotten used to not having his bloody puzzle anymore? What has he done?"

He has almost driven his new hikari insane, despite the fact that the child cannot sleep without worrying about his demon taking over.

Bakura cackled. And they called him annoying! At least he knocked out his hikari before taking over! The Pharoah was too used to getting his way!

"What are the conditions?"

We don't want more blood on our souls. Get the Pharoah to tone it down for us, and you may keep the body we give you.

All he had to do was beat the Pharoah? Who didn't have the gods on his side? He was so there!


The Pharoah is in the Sand Village, inside a child called Gaara no Sabaku.

Bakura had already gotten a field promotion to Chunin a week ago, and he looked at the rouster for a mission to Sand. There was one left, and someone clearly was debating on whether he should take it or not.

"So you want to run through that heat and slip in boiling hot sand with little to no water for three days?" he said loud enough for the other man to hear.

The man winced, and Bakura looked over the mission. Standard supply run for Sand, trading medical ingredients. Shouldn't take longer than a week, if that. And best of all it was a C rank mission.

"How about you take the one to Grass and I do Sand? Either way you escape the village for a bit."

"Are you sure Bakura? This would be your first out of village assignment," said Iruka.

"Let's see, the only choice is the endless chore that is D rank, or a mildly interested C rank to someplace I could tolerate. Give me the Sand run. Shouldn't be a week if that."

He let Naruto know the real reason he took the Sand mission, and the boy tackled him with a hug.

Bakura hugged the boy back, and whispered to him, "Make a list of any bastards who bug you and We'll take care of them when we get back. No Shadows until I do."

"I know Nii-chan. Shadows are dangerous without you to keep them in check. Can I still summon Foxfire though?"

"As long as no one sees him or Kuriboh, there shouldn't be any problem."

Naruto cheered and gave his brother a new Fuuma Shuriken as a going away present. Bakura walked out of the village, smirking like a devil incarnate.

He arrived in the Sand village the next day, courtosy of Shadow Travel. It shocked the hell out of the guards, until he showed his pass and the box full of Leaf Village medicinal plants. He was given the next two days to wander, and his magic immedaitely sought out someone with the same power.

He found it the next morning, and his eyes narrowed. This Gaara kid was like Naruto in so many ways...only when he got the spirit, it never bothered to put the kid first like he had, once he realized the situation.

Gaara was alone with a small teddy bear, and had a tattoo with the kanji for love on it. Bakura walked up to him, noticed that everyone stayed far, far away from him once he entered what he assumed was a kill zone, and said "My name is Bakura. What's yours kid?"

The cold green eyes glared at him, then took in the Leaf headband. He was obviously surprised that the heat wasn't bothering the foreigner in the least...and that he was talking to him.

"Sabaku no Gaara."

Gaara winced, as if he heard something start shrieking right in his ears. Bakura scowled.

"Quick question. Can you make a solid clone?"

Gaara gave him a look, as if to say, "Why the hell do you want to know that?"

"If you can, I reccommend making a solid clone and punting his royal pain in the ass into it. He can possess it, and you can finally ditch him."

Gaara's eyes widened. How the hell did he know about...him?

Bakura gave a dark grin, "Me and the idiot go way back. I was sent here to shut him up for a while."

Gaara was relieved.

"I have no idea who the hell this Yugi guy was, but he must have the patience of a Buddha to put up with him."

"That kid was so damn meek he practically gave into whatever the Pharoah asked him. Hence why he had a big head."

Bakura looked away as Gaara went through the signs for a solid clone, forced the other spirit to possess the clone, and watched as the one he had a major problem with came through.

"Hello Pharoah. The gods aren't happy with you right now."

"Thief!" Atem growled. He still hated Bakura.

"In fact they sent me my own body in order to get you to leave the poor kid stuck with you alone."

"You're lying!"

Bakura turned to a now relieved Gaara, and smirked.

"You know how when a clone disappates you get all the info it gathered? That doesn't happen when someone with shadow magic possesses it. Feel free to deck this idiot."

With a fanatical gleam in his eyes, Gaara drew up a chakra enhanced punch and clocked the former pharoah. He then turned to Bakura, happier than he had been since the spirit had shown up.

"Thank you!"

"I've been wanting to shut that idiot up for years. The fact that the gods themselves sent me my own body to do it was just icing on the cake."

Atem was in shock, since he was clearly feeling the effects of the punch. Bakura had a maniacal gleam as he gleefully informed the spirit, "Oh, and by the way, Marik is here too in the body of an S class rogue named Itachi."

Gaara obviously recognized the name, then he turned to the pharoah.

Bakura left the village in a very good mood after assisting Gaara in beating the crap out of Atem. At least now the poor kid could shut the idiot up.

He was promptly glomped by Naruto once he safely brought the plants to the Yamanaka clan. Bakura laughed, and hugged the blond boy back.

Naruto went a mile a minute talking about how much mischief he had gotten into with Foxfire and Kuriboh, and Bakura actually listened to the boy.

He loved the fact that Naruto used Kuriboh's tendancy to explode to cause damage to the grocery that always refused to sell him any food that he could actually eat other than ramen. On the plus side, Bakura had finally learned how to cook properly without bugging Ryou on how.

In fact...Naruto wanted to know more about his previous hikari. So Bakura told him unedited tales about his time as a backstabbing bastard of a yami. By the time he got to the point when he finally found out most of his dark ways were because he had been controlled by the god who once dwelled in his old village, Naruto was impressed.

While Naruto would never be as cruel or callous as the old Bakura, he could still be just as skilled. Hell, his lock picking skills now rivalled his own! And his stealth was almost at his level.

"Hey Nii-chan what happened to put you in such a good mood?"

"I got to beat up the Pharoah without his cheering section or his new hikari to help him. In fact...his own hikari clocked him with a chakra enhanced punch!"

Naruto crowed at the thought of the Pharoah getting punched by his own hikari. So Bakura introduced him to the new craze that had hit the village from the Outside called Duel Monsters. He took one look at the cards and snickered.

"Looks like I'll have to dust off my old deck."

"You can play Nii-san?" said Naruto excitedly.

"I can not only play, I can run rings around the stratigists in the village. If you do your ninja homework I'll teach you."

Naruto cheered, and his homework was finished faster than he had ever done it. Bakura double checked it, and then brought out his first deck. He proceeded to teach his little brother how to play, and by the first mock duel the kid was hooked.

Naruto soon became the one to beat at the academy, once Bakura helped him make his deck. The fox like boy had a simple yet surprisingly effective way to beat every opponent, particularly the smug Sasuke Uchiha.

And it all boiled down to two words. Kuriboh Demolition. He would power up the small ball of brown fur, and then proceed to use it's ability to render any monster's attack useless. Many Nin walked away from a duel with Naruto cursing the seemingly innocent ball of fluff.

After Sasuke's twelfth defeat at the hands of Foxfire, Naruto grinned.

"Geez, you're worse than Seto Kaiba!"

Sasuke growled.

"You do know that guy is coming next week to review land for a branch office, don't you dobe?"

Naruto looked shocked.

"Seto Kaiba, the guy who would sleep with a blue eyes if he could, is coming here? Wait till Nii-san hears about this!" Naruto crowed.

Bakura was howling with laughter when he heard the news. It did not help that he had been assigned to Kaiba's protection and guide when he found out. Neither of them could wait to see the look of shock on the man's face when he saw Bakura again!

Bakura had heard rumors that Kaiba had gotten married with a girl from Egypt named Kisara. And that Yugi Muto, King of Games was coming along with him. Bakura rubbed his hands together in glee.

He accepted the mission, on the condition he knew exactly who was coming so he could prepare a proper welcome.

And tried not to level Konoha in his glee. Every single person who knew about the Items or was almost directly involved with them was coming. Apparently the whole thing was doubled as a vacation/reunion!

He enlisted the help of Naruto, Hinata, Kiba, Shino, Sasuke, Shikamaru and Chouji for the welcoming committee. They had no idea why he asked them for help, only that he was going to pull one over on the group.