Satin/Silk: The mess. Thank you hollyyberryy for pointing something that never crossed my mind. Welcome to the end.
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee; it belongs to its Creator (s) and Fox. There will be some OOCness due to the interpretation that I have of how the characters would react in this unlikely situation.
I don't own any lyrics presented or implied in this character.
So he was just gonna leave? Was he just gonna leave again? Is that how things were gonna be? He was just gonna pretend like she didn't call. Was he just going to pretend that song hadn't hit a nerve as if those words didn't mean anything? As if she didn't give it all she got?
What kind of fucking man was he?
It was the only thing that he could process while he sat there. He knew her, he knew her better than he knew anyone and he was just going to quit? He started this fucking mess, the least he could do was finish it.
That was the least that he could fucking do but did he have it in him?
Why did she make him feel so damn insecure? He was fucking Noah Puckerman, he shouldn't feel like this. He should have this in the fucking bag but he didn't.
This was rocking his fucking world. Coming to New York wasn't supposed to be like this, he wasn't sure what it was supposed to be like but it wasn't supposed to be like. He wasn't supposed to see her but damn he did see her.
He saw her fucking everywhere he went. He carried her with him; it was her soft words that he heard before he started a concert. It was her face that he looked for in the crowd even though it was never there. Except last night, it had been there last night and it felt fucking good.
It felt right like this was how things were always supposed to be; her in his audience and him in hers. Maybe that was how things were supposed to be but that sure as hell wasn't how they turned out. Puck let out a sigh as he tried to control himself.
She rattled him. She was the only person that could see him for what he was. And he had loved that about her. Loved, had he finally let her go? Maybe he had then why all this? Maybe he just needed fucking closure. Yea, it hurt to see her because he knew the future that they should have had. But it was all done, he ….they had to let that shit go.
But how could they when he couldn't even look her in the face without any disdain. It wasn't disdain, it was a knowing. A fucking knowing that they could have been better than what they were. They knew it. Puck was sure that it had haunted her like it had haunted him.
Puck forced himself from his bed and stood there for a moment. What was he supposed to do now? Like hell if he knew.
Like hell if he fucking knew anything anymore.
Four O' three had seemed so magical but it wasn't. There had been something so epic about the time and yet it had proved to be so hurtful. He had hung up.
It was all she could think or focus on as her pillow was slowly drenched with her tears. She sat there for a long time before she forced herself up from her bed. She felt shaking, so not herself. Why did she still feel this way? She had apologized, her part was over, and she should be free from this fucking demon. But was it really that simple?
She felt her heart caving in, every heart beat felt off, and all she wanted to know was could it really be that simple? It was a decade ago; she could let him go right? She had said her piece and that was all that mattered? Things should be better now, shouldn't that?
He had saved her a decade ago. He had been her world a decade ago and she pushed him away. She did, not him. She made the decision so why couldn't she live with it? She was Rachel fucking Berry but her heart could hardly agree.
She pushed the idea way as she walked into the kitchen. There was no echoing of the television in the next room. Everyone was gone and she was left in the dark solace of her own mind. She could call Santana and say what?
She didn't know. She called.
She had fucking called and that should fucking count for something right? And yet, somehow she didn't think that it did.
This was poison, she was better without him. She made her peace and so she could live right. She could live and not exist. Was it that easy?
He had hung up, he had made it that easy.
She flinched at the tone, she barely believed herself. This wasn't her or was it? She had gotten over Finn and she had gotten over St. Douche. But they weren't Noah, they had never been Noah. They would never compare to what she had with Noah.
Was it worth it?
Was it worth fighting for?
Her heart was in the pit of her stomach drowning as more thoughts plagued her mind. She didn't know. It should have been.
Just make a fucking decision.
She jumped at the tone. His voice was screaming loudly in her head. Even with all that, she couldn't forget him. She couldn't just let him go. She was fucking insane. There was too much hurt, she wanted to scream at herself but she didn't care. She couldn't care about all that shit. She would lose her nerve if she did.
She tore herself from the kitchen to the door and then stopped herself. She couldn't go out without shoes. She chastised herself for her careless mistake.
With more ease than she wanted to admit to, she made it in and out of her dark kitchen to her even darker room. She slipped on some shoes, and walked quickly as the robe and chemise billowed behind her.
Change, she thought.
This was too important, she turned around again and she would lose her nerve. She ignored the impulse, grabbing her keys and unlocked the door. She pulled the door opened and her heart swelled.
His arm was still raised, he was about to knock when he saw her wretch the door open. His eyes met hers and it was hard to speak. So he did what he should have done a long time ago.
He wrapped his arms around her. Forget that shit was between them. She had another ten years to make that shit up. He pulled her closely.
Don't run away...
And it's hard to love again
When the only way it's been
Was this really happening? She couldn't be sure as her heart was pounding in her chest. No, she was dreaming. She must be dreaming. Life wasn't like this, it wasn't this simple. It really wasn't this simple.
When the only love you knew
Just walked away.
It gets something that you want
Darling you don't have to run
You don't have to go
"I'm sorry," It was all she say.
Noah stopped. She didn't want it. He let go of her. How stupid was he? He had actually thought that they could bury that shit but he had been wrong.
Rachel's heart dropped when he moved away from her. He was doing it again, he was walking out of her life. No.
"No," She all but screamed.
Just Stay with me, baby stay with me
Well I'm not sure what this is going to be
Stay? She wanted him to stay? He turned slowly and before he could do anything. She was in his arms. This was here she belonged.
But with my eyes closed all I see
Is the sky line through the window
The moon above you and the streets below
He looked her in the eyes. The intensity of his eyes made her blush and for a small moment. She felt like they were seventeen again and that talk, that moment had never happened. Her heart was in her throat as he moved closer and her eyes slowly closed.
Hold my breath as you're moving in
Taste your lips and feel your skin
When the time comes
Baby don't run just kiss me slowly
There it was; that sweetness, the fire and that hungry that only he could quench. It was all there in that kiss.
Just Stay with me, baby stay with me
Her world was spinning again. Her head was swimming but Kurt had been right. It didn't matter what anyone said or what anyone thought.
It wasn't just the song but it was him too.