note: I should sooooo not be starting something else. Really. Bad mrie, bad. But here I am, because I was thinking about Sasuke x Sakura and AU's and you know the huge number of fics that center around magic/fantasy/demon/fairy/fae stuff? It's great, right? And then, I wondered how much of said stuff I could fit into a story and what such a story would look like. And then it was all, "har har, this is a parody - wait. It's not. This is fun."

Basically: fae and vampires and werewolves and monsters and magic and demons and soulmates and hunters and yadda yadda yadda. This is not an exercise in originality (though I am by no means copying/paraphrasing/anything of the sort anyone else's work), and I will be taking liberties in the ... mythology? But that's not the right word. Just, if something is glaringly not-standard (ex: "Fairies don't do that ~!"), in the context of this piece of silliness, I don't care. I wold encourage you to adopt this mentality.



Sasuke comes home one blustery afternoon to a not-empty apartment.

He has gotten in the door, shed his scarf and kicked off his shoes before he notices her. It might have taken longer, if she hadn't turned the hallways lights on.

She is standing there, beneath the yellow lights, smiling at him and not at all perturbed when he shouts and curses and stumbles backwards.

"Who are you?" he demands. "What are you doing in my apartment? How did you get in?"

The girl smiles. She has green eyes and orange-red hair. She is short and slight and there is an easy to the way she stands.

"I'm Sakura."

"Leave." Sasuke demands. Grabbing the handle of the door at his back, he shoves, flinging it open despite the cold. He is still in shock, still processing the situation, but despite the oddness of the moment, he knows it would be better if she just left. Now.

But she doesn't move. Instead, she frowns. She pouts.

"I want to stay."

"Leave." Sasuke gets angry easily. He is very angry now. He is angry and confused and a little panicked, because it seems to him this girl is insane. Insane people, he thinks as she smiles again and shakes her head, can be dangerous.


Sasuke reaches for his cellphone. He is going to call the police. There is an insane person in his apartment, and she won't leave, and she wants to stay. No. Just no.

There is a sigh from the hallway. The light above them suddenly – suddenly moves. It flickers, doesn't go out, shines not as bright and not from the same place and when Sasuke looks up to see what has happened…

The strange girl's orange hair has tuned pink, and the light that's somehow found it's way into her cradled palm illuminates her smug expression.

Sasuke drops the phone.