Hey guys! It's me Neko-chan or Amaya! This is my first spirited away fanfic! I've read many fanfics about spirited away and I highly recommend Spirited Away 2: Return to the Spirit World. :D Warning: it's kinda out of character until she gets to the spirit world cuz she's depressed and all that. I hope the chapters will be a little longer than my other stories. =_= Well I hope you enjoy it anyway :) there will be some swearing just so you know

PS: I'm only 13 so if this sux, then I'm sorry 3

Disclaimer: I. Do. Not. Own. Spirited. Away.

Have you ever lived your whole life in a world you didn't belong in? I have. And it was very painful. I missed Haku, not just him but all my friends from the spirit world. Kamajii, Lin, Boh, Zeniba, No-face, even Yubaba. My mother died while taking a plane to America where her new job was. After that my father turned to drinking and gambling. I lived with my dad in a small, two-bedroom apartment. I tried to stay away from his as much as I could. Of course, it was pretty easy. He was out almost all the time. I didn't know what he did, but I don't think I want to know… My life in the human world has been a waste. I was depressed almost all the time, my friends-if you can even call them friends- tried to cheer me up, but it's not use. I always end up telling them I'm fine. Though I haven't told anyone about my father, I think that most of my so-called 'friends' actually know. I don't know how they know, but a lot of rumors have been spread around the school. About me. And they're not, in any way, good. I try to ignore them as much as I possibly can… It's no use. My grades started lowering as years went by. Back when I was 10, I was a very good student, always paying attention in class, almost getting the best test scores of my grade. Now, I'm a failure. Not only in class, but everywhere else. I can't stand everybody making fun of me. But I know that if I actually do something, it won't be a good choice. I miss my mother very much, but the sight of my drunken father is sickening. I can't believe that Haku even made that promise; to see me again someday… Now that I have moved, every last memory of the spirit world is fading from my mind. I try not to forget, but somehow, it's like a magic spell was cast on me, to make me forget everything. I knew that if I did forget, my life would never be the same. Ever. I could never bring myself to forget my River Spirit. My hair had grown longer, still tied up with the magic hair tie Yubaba, Boh, Yu-bird, and No-face had made for me. I remember very clearly the day when I entered the spirit world… Haku telling me to leave before night falls... I remember panicking when I saw my parents turned into pigs. Running uncontrollably down the steps just to realize that water had filled the field I had walked through to get to the spirit world. Becoming see-through and running away blindly before Haku gave me a red berry. I remember the taste perfectly; sour, but juicy… like a cranberry. It had been my favorite fruit since then. After he gave me the berry, though, my memories seemed to be fading away like specks of dust in the wind… It has been 7 years since the day I came home from the spirit world. 7 hard and lonely years to live by. I am now 17. A failure in everything; school… and life. I miss Haku so much but any relation to him is gone. The Kohaku River has been filled up to make apartments. I tried everything to get as close to him as I could, but I can't do it. Now, here I am, crying myself to sleep every night, in hope of one day returning to the place I truly belong in. The Spirit World.

I walked in the class and walked slowly to my desk. I sat down next to the window, closing my eyes, hoping class would end soon, even though it had just started. I heard someone call my name from behind me. "Chihiro!" My name echoed through my mind. To tired to answer, I shut my eyes and tried to ignore whoever was calling my name. When the tone was starting to go wild. I opened my eyes and yelled. "What do you want?" Bad idea. It was the teacher calling my name. She turned red. "Chihiro, please come and see me after class." She said trying to calm herself down, but obviously not succeeding. Everyone on the class laughed, as always. I sighed and sat down. "Nice one!" I heard a boy yell form across the room. I ignored all comments, waiting for the teacher to tell them to be quiet, which she did right away. I shut my eyes again, and before I knew it, the bell rang. So loud, I thought. I decided to go through the park on the way home today. I knew I shouldn't have done this, but I skipped the lecture the teacher was going to give me after school. Sadly, I knew my grades would go down a lot but I didn't care. I walked out of the school campus. Finally free, I thought. I heard my name being called a few times so I turned my head and saw my friend, Arisa. I waved my hand slowly and lazily. She was always very energetic. She ran up to me. "Hey, wanna walk home together?" She asked. "Sure." I whispered. "Can I ask you something?" She said. "You just did." I mumbled. "Come on, tell me! Who is it? Sora-kun? Or is it… Daisuke? No, he's not your type. Err, Ryou?" She asked me excitedly. "I have noooo idea about what you're talking about." I managed to mumble. "You know what I'm talking about!" C'mon, spit it out!" She yelled. "I said I don't know what you're talking about." I replied, getting annoyed. "Aww, come on! You seriously don't have anybody you like?" She whispered into my ear. I blushed. "I never said that!" I yelled, a little too loudly. People were starting to look at us. "Spit it out." She said expectantly. "Alright." I said.

"Name." She stated. I just sighed, but obeyed her.

"Nigihayami Kohaku Nushi." I answered.

"Whoa. What a name, sounds like a god. So is he handsome? Tell me everything!"
"I haven't seen him in 7 years…" I whispered.
"What? 7 years! Why?"
"He promised we would meet again…" I kept whispering. Arisa did something that she didn't do very often, she sighed heavily. I widened my eyes.

"I was only 10 back then." I looked away, and sighed.

"Listen Chihiro, it was just a schoolgirl crush, ok? Get over him. He probably moved on already. So should you." She said, a hint of sadness in her words. I looked back to her, and I looked at her in awe.

"Arisa…" was all I managed to say. She looked at me in the eyes.

"Look, I know you're having a tough time with your school work and all that… But, there are plenty of guys in the school that would love to have a girlfriend like you! Leave that Kohaka guy alone and move on."
"Kohaku." I corrected her. A tear welled up from my eye. I stood up, facing the ground.
"You'll never understand…" I said quietly, my head still facing down. I walked away as fast as I could, trying not to break into a run and get attention from everybody. I lifted my head up. I had walked for about 10 minutes already. I looked around. I heard a noise. The sound of a train! Stay calm, I tried to tell myself as I was getting my hopes to high. I didn't work. I ran as fast as I could, trying to find the source of the sound. I saw a bridge in the distance and ran towards it, so fast I could feel the wind whipping my cheeks. I was almost flying over the gravel path leading to the bridge. The sound of the train was getting louder and louder. I hadn't felt as excited as I felt now in so many years. I ran faster and faster not even bothering to control my emotions anymore. I ran past the bridge, down steps… But when I got there, what I saw wasn't anything to do with spirits. It was a normal train station. My heart froze and I fell to my knees. My heartbeat stopped for a few seconds. The emotion I felt right then, right there, was the most painful thing I had ever felt in my life. My world was breaking. I didn't want to remember anymore. I didn't want to remember anything. Nothing. I screamed my life out. I screamed and screamed, not wanting to feel this unimaginable pain. Not wanting to live anymore. My body was frozen. I couldn't move. Flashes of when I was in the spirit world came back to me. Haku, going to Zeniba's house, getting a job, the No-face accident… So many memories... painful memories… I hit my head against a rock. My forehead started bleeding. I could die for all I cared right now! I bit my lips so hard, they started bleeding too. I got up and ran to the nearest tree. Collapsing under it. I started screaming and crying again. I had never realized how much I loved the spirit world and Haku… I felt like my heart was being ripped into pieces. Then, I looked to the sky. The blue sky, dotted with puffy white clouds. I saw a serpent-like shape floating in the sky. It disappeared as fast as I came, into a cloud. I sighed, tears still flowing down my cheeks. I thought I was dreaming. I am dreaming, I thought to myself. Spirits can't get to the human world… Unless…!

Heehee! Ciffhanger! Review if you want to read more :P at least 2 review if u want my to update! Jk, not really, although I don't really need review to update, I could still use some advice. Tell me if you liked it, hated it?

PS: I know it's kinda out of character, ok?