A/N: I do not own Death Note.

Warnings: The pairing is Light x Mello, Mello x Light and will involve cross-dressing, crack.

Cross-posted here:

http:/ dn-kink2. livejournal. com / 1491. html? Thread = 867283# t867283


Chapter 1 In vino veritas

Light typically didn't drink. He was above engaging in other such a self-destructive behaviors that would kill his brain cells and shorten his lifespan—not to mention it would be irresponsible to wield his godly powers over life and death (well... death) while impaired—a God needs to be in control of his faculties...

In short the God of the New World did not handle liquor well.

That he accepted that cup some slut who all but shoved at him had nothing to do with his current problems-what problems? There's no problems—everything's under control! (like the fact that his plan to kill Mello had failed, or that it was his father's fault it had failed and his father was dead, and Near was hounding him, and Mello was still out there with the knowledge of the fake rules, and everything was unraveling... JUST A SET BACK, NOTHING MORE!) He just drank a little to blend in with the crowd... (not that that was at all possible, everyone here was so... trashy) and drank a little more (without realizing it) because... waiting around here for Misa to get done was oh-so-boring and there was nothing better to do...

Compounding to this Misa's celebrity friends partied hard—the drinks they served here were of a much higher proof than was used by normal humans—also the aforementioned slut had previously slipped a little something extra-special into his cup that further negated inhibitions in the hopes of taking a certain beautifully handsome, lonely-looking, young man upstairs only to be surprised and disappointed when said pretty boy ignored all of her blatant come-ons...

The result was that Light, Kira, was currently smashed and didn't even realize it...

Light continued to search through the Hollywood night crowd for his dumb blonde minion (naturally being groped by most of the girls and quite a few guys along the way...)

He had been more than reasonable, Light fumed to himself. He waited up for her (he had learned to function on little sleep from the time he spent as a captive of a certain insomniac detective) but staying out past four in the morning was definitely pushing it. He wondered if this was some new ploy to get his attention—now she was going to make him drag her home...

He sighed. Why can't she just have a "good time" at home?

No scratch that.

Then she would want to have sex with him again.

That's why he let her go to the party, wasn't it? Still it was terribly inconvenient. It made him unnecessarily worry that something might happen to her... or rather his Eyes. Speaking of eyes his finally alighted on a blonde in a skimpy leather outfit, face pressed into the counter, drooling on the bar.

"Come on, Misa we've got to get you home."

The blonde gurgled a bit in response.

Light was too out of it to realize it wasn't Misa but to be fair even if Light was currently sober and sane, since the blonde in question was Mello, he probably still would have had trouble figuring out that "she" was actually a he...

And as for Mello, he was currently even more smashed then Light—otherwise he might have remembered and recognized the Deputy Director's son from the dossiers...

That Mello had drunk himself into a stupor only seemed appropriate after everything that happened—to say that he and Matt had had a fight would be like describing a hurricane as a bit windy.

He was entitled, wasn't he? To have one thing go right for him in this whole fuck up of his life?

He was so tired of being number two at everything. Here his plans to take out Kira were blown to bloody hell along with half his face.

Mello just wanted to be on top. One night!

Matt never let him top! "It was always, next time Mells, next time..."

When Matt said "next time" again it was the final straw. The resulting knock-down-drag-out fight wasn't so bad it was the verbal sparring that accompanied it. Matt was Mello's best friend since forever (and MORE before what Roger would deem "socially appropriate.") So when they fought Matt knew exactly how to hit where it hurt—when Matt said those things to him it was like part of his soul was ripped away.

He didn't need this.

He was going to be number one! He didn't NEED to rely on Matt or anybody!

As Mello stormed out Matt had delivered a parting shot about how he was just running away again... Mello wasn't running away and he most certainly wasn't moping over Matt! Believe it or not Mello's current pastime wasn't the plan. It was for work that he entered this night club. He saw the target, Misa Amane who might be the Second Kira go in but he quickly lost visual in the shifting crowd. Mello didn't really expect to find any new leads on Kira here anyway but since he was here he just drank a few shots to blend in with the crowd.

No it wasn't to forget about Matt. Matt was forgotten, totally out of his mind, Mello wasn't thinking about that pretty, auburn-haired, selfish bastard of a gamer at all...

They were over!

So why did that asshole have to follow him here? And what the hell was he wearing? A suit and tie? The very idea of Matt in a suit and tie set Mello off into a high-pitched giddy giggling fit that only affirmed to Light in his current impaired state that he was indeed talking to Misa.

Mello's thought process had currently slowed so much that trying to catch hold of a coherent thought was like trying to swim through a pool of molasses but he was pretty sure Matt was asking him to come home with him...

"Don't wanna..." Mello whined into the counter of the bar.

Seriously, he'd rather stay here and get picked up by some random stranger than be uke again...

Light sighed tiredly; it seemed some extra incentive was needed (time to whore himself out again, wonderful). The things he put up with for Misa's Eyes...

"I'm sorry about earlier..." Ryuk was right, he did kind of take it out on her—not that he was really sorry, but it wouldn't do to lose his Eyes over something petty like this. "I shouldn't have said those things. When we get home you can do anything you want to me, okay?"

Suit-Matt now had Mello's full attention.

"Can I be on top?" Mello gurgled incoherently.

"Sure, whatever... Let's just get you home. You need to get some rest. We have tons of work to do tomorrow, remember—Mello."

Of course Light had meant they still had to find Mello. He had escaped with the knowledge of the thirteen-day rule. It could be disastrous. Not to mention he was a criminal. He harmed many innocents including Light's own family. He deserved judgment...

"Right..." To Mello it sounded like "Matt" was addressing him directly and quashed the last buzzing doubts in his mind that something was off. Matt was right. They still had to find Kira. He'd show them. He would beat both Near and Kira and be number one. He would avenge L... and he would rule the world...

"Tomorrow I need you to search again with your Eyes," Light whispered.

Mello giggled. Just what had Matt been smoking? Of course he would search with his eyes. How else does one generally go about searching?

Light steered "Misa" into the cab he had waiting for them.

Still it was nothing short of a miracle that they made it back to Light's hotel room.

Mello thought befuddledly that this wasn't their hideout. Did Matt manage to blackmail some douche or something in the few hours he was away? But that didn't seem too important –there was really only one thing on his mind at the moment—tonight he would be Seme!

Light's blonde companion collapsed asleep almost as soon as they hit the bed... And to think he was actually in the mood tonight.

Figures. Light thought with great frustration. After returning from the bathroom he draped himself over the blonde in a suggestive fashion. Misa liked to cuddle. It shut her up and kept her happy.

Tonight was no different it seemed. The sleeping blonde snuggled into his warmth and then began pawing at him in her sleep—nothing unusual there but... Light groaned he had thought he had taken care of his problem in the bathroom earlier but here it was back again...

Mello shot awake when he felt the other's hardness pressing up against him—to think he had almost lost his chance like this!

Light startled as "Misa" suddenly lunged at him, forcing him onto his back beneath "her."

"What do you think you're doing?" Light asked dangerously. He thought he made it plenty clear in the early years of their relationship exactly where they stood.

"Didn't think I'd forget your promise, did you?" Mello slurred darkly, ripping Light's shirt open.

That's right I said I'd let her do anything... Light was kicking himself, sure Misa would do anything he asked, but he had forgotten how aggressive she could be if he let her off the leash. But Light thought that this was something that even Misa had already figured out. It was fairly obvious—Light wasn't too fond of having sex with her but he did like power and control—if Misa was properly submissive and worshipped him she might get what she wanted. But as his body betrayed him Light wondered why that wasn't so tonight.

For some reason he was getting very excited as the other nipped and sucked possessively at his neck and for the first time Light's clouded mind wondered just what was in his drink...

Light felt those fast, practiced fingers flying all over him, and he was getting much more worked up than usual. He tentatively touched back—he hadn't touched her in a while and was beginning to wonder if she was letting herself go just because he had asked her to quit the movie. Not that he minded—she was still rakishly thin, what most sane people would call dangerously underweight (it wouldn't do for his Eyes to die of malnutrition.)

Light's fingers found their way into the other's mess of blonde hair as the other freed him from his slacks and began sucking him off, teasing him slowly. Light managed to maintain his self-control throughout. But he couldn't help but wonder why Misa seemed to be trying to so knock him off-guard tonight...

"Hey! Why'd you stop? ...the HELL?" Light admitted it—he lost his cool a bit there when the other left him straining and Light suddenly felt the intrusion of fingers up his ass. The other twitched and curled inside him and Light felt a thrill go through him.

Light never knew she was into this kind of stuff...

And how exactly did this happen? That she got him naked while she was still fully clothed? Light began to tug against the other's leather jacket but then those fingers rubbed against that spot inside him again and he couldn't stop the strangled, pleasured cry that escaped his throat, for just a moment his eyes clenched shut, his hands fisting into sheets...

He was beginning to lose it. That was unacceptable. He could not afford to show weakness, even to Misa, and so he struggled hard to regain his failing control.

Meanwhile the other got the hint and quickly shed out of his leather and then resumed moving over him...

And then Light felt IT grind against him...

Wait a minute...

...and with widening eyes and mouth agape made a genius deduction...

Not Misa. Definitely not Misa! Who's...? And where's...?

"You promised! I'm seme tonight! GOT IT?" the other man snarled as he roughly pinned Light to the bed.

Then the strange man was all over him again and Light decided that at the moment he didn't really care.

True the back of his mind was screaming at him about the consequences of this—how he was literally so dead if Misa found out that he brought a man home and did it in their bed but...

Misa should forgive this one damn time! Besides God shouldn't have to ask his follower for permission! I'll just lay it on thick... And I'm drunk... I can tell her that I had nothing to do with it, it was all this horny asshole taking advantage of me... yes, Misa would buy that and immediately kill whoever dared to take advantage of her Light-kun... She doesn't own me! That settles it, I'm doing this.

He had long neglected his own needs and for some reason tonight he was feeling incredibly horny.

Convenient. This is just... convenient...

"Alright..." Light replied coolly to the other man. "I will permit it."

The other seemed to take his cool attitude as a challenge. "I'll have you begging, smartass!"

They both groaned as the other man ground them together. Mello just had to make it a competition. A competition between the two of the most stubborn guys on the planet—unstoppable force meet immovable object.

Never one to back down from a challenge Light began teasing him right back. This surprised Mello as it seemed the other was so shy to begin with and he kept it up no matter how many times Mello barked at him, or swatted him away. Light leaned up and licked along the other man's jawbone, his sweat tasted oddly sweet (in fact he almost tasted like...) Light groaned and unconsciously gave the other easier access. When Mello saw the needy look in the other's eyes he decided that he had "won." It was not quite the begging he wanted from the other man but he didn't want to delay HIS satisfaction any longer.

"You're tight!" the blonde man trembled above him.

Light was tearing up in pain. It hurt but he refused to let the other know how much, he stifled his cries and settled for retaliating by raking his nails down the other man's back. Still for all his bluster this blonde stranger was being surprisingly gentle. A series of choked whimpers escaped Light's throat followed by a loud moan as he began to lose himself to the sensations as the other man slowly teased both of them.

"Took you... long enough, Matt... fucking ice queen!" The other groaned.

Light growled at the wrong name but... of course this whole thing was a case of mistaken identity—no reason to get upset about it (he would have to find out who this "Matt" was later) but pretended not to notice for now. Mello took the other's frustrated growling and the nails down his back to mean faster. Mello slammed in just a few more times and they both released hard. Light glared with irrational annoyance as the other man collapsed asleep on top of him. It was rude... but it was convenient.

Light worked to control his breathing. He was exhausted and had a nagging suspicion that that was a really nasty hangover he felt coming on but he struggled to remain awake. He had to figure out what to do about... all of this. He rolled the other man off of him with care and began the painful process of sitting up and blushed. He was dirty. He could still feel the other's essence wriggling inside him...

I have to kill him.

Not that it wasn't... enjoyable.

This was something Light would never have considered before. If he considered taking a man into his bed—and it would be HIM doing the taking—he would have preferred to have absolute control...

Tonight was certainly unexpected.

It was exciting. It was... fun.

Light hadn't had this much fun in years.

But drunk or not he's heard too much…

Light looked regretfully at his lov—anonymous fucktoy's sleeping form.

A shame really.


Light startled as his Shinigami phased in through the wall. Ryuk's bulging eyes bulged further upon seeing the naked man in Light's bed. Light tried to refrain from panicking as he remembered he had the Shinigami following Misa...

Shit! She's back already? ...No...

Light felt a sinking feeling—something was obviously wrong.

Ryuk... There were none of the jokes or lewd comments he would expect to hear from the Shinigami having caught him in this compromising position—in fact the Shinigami looked subdued.

"Ryuk, where's Misa?"

"Er... sorry if this is a bad time and all but Light there's really something you should know…"