I've Never: A Pokemon Fanfic

Author's Note: This is a one-shot I wrote yesterday. I had to take time off my main fic, the Hand of Friendship, for awhile to get some ideas, and since I love Pokemon, I thought: why not create a fanfic for this? And then my friends invited me to play this very amusing game, and I knew it was a splendid opportunity to pit my favorite PokeDex Holders together. See if you can catch all the implied pairings!

Disclaimer: If I owned Pokemon, it's not likely I would be here writing this now, right?

Oh yes, and in this one-shot, which is based on the manga Pokemon Adventures, Green is the Viridian Gym Leader and Blue is the girl with the Blastoise that can fly.

It had been six years since the showdown at the Battle Frontier with Jirachi and Archie, but it was the first time the thirteen PokeDex holders had met each other together. Many reasons had separated them: training, battling, research, saving the world…but they were finally together. Steven had let them borrow his Villa for this month-long vacation, in which the professors of all four regions insisted that they get to know each other better.

"You are the privileged PokeDex Holders," Professor Oak said. "You should know that this is a great honor and that you can call on your fellow PokeDex Holders whenever you are in trouble. For that, you will need to mingle with each other."

During the first week, Gold proposed a game. Together, the lot of them were capable of pulling off strange and stupid things—but this, thought Green, was probably the worst. It was as if Gold naturally attracted troublesome things, and so when they all sat down—all thirteen of them—and he explained the rules of the game they were all to play, Green just knew this was going to be a disaster.

"We'll go through this by region and rank: Kanto, Johto, Hoenn and then Sinnoh. And since Red is our senior and champion of the Indigo League, he obviously gets to go first. Take it away, man." Gold said with a smirk, placing both hands in the air, just like the rest of them.

"Thanks, but I can't say that this'll be all that interesting—for me, anyway. I've never had sex with more than one person."

With the exception of Red and Emerald, everyone else put a finger down. Green avoided Red's eyes as he did so.

"Well, this is going to be fun." Silver murmured, and his voice dripped with sarcasm.

Green frowned, looking at his nine fingers with distaste. He was going to have to dispel some misconceptions that were no doubt brewing in the minds of the others. "I've never had sex just for the fun of it." he announced. This did not yield better results, but at least the Sinnoh trio didn't lose fingers.

"Trying to prove something, are we, Green?" Blue snickered, cocking a brow. Only she knew of Green's true relationship with Red, after all. Well, no matter; after all, he wasn't the only one whose apparent endeavors had caught her curiosity.

Yellow was practically wilting with each new question and it made Blue curious. And when Blue was curious, a lot of people were likely to be caught up in the fray...

Appearances could be quite deceiving—not that Blue didn't know that already—but Yellow had always given the impression of a sweet, quiet and innocent little girl. Soft-spoken, good-hearted, and loves Pokemon. Of course, they had all passed the legal age barrier now…

Maybe sniping was a low trick, especially so early in the game, but good game etiquette wasn't something Blue cared much about. With a face-splitting grin, she happily announced, "I've never had sex with someone who ever held the title of Champion in any region."

Yellow quietly folded another finger into her palm, trying not to meet Red, Green and Silver's incredulous stares. After all, there weren't exactly that many champions around…she blurted out her statement so quickly, she had to repeat again: "I've never done it with someone the same sex as me."

Blue chuckled to herself. So it's not Cynthia, eh? And it isn't likely to be Steven either; that man had gone around the gay corner for a certain Water-type trainer...

"You ought to try it sometime," Blue said, smiling, putting a finger down, and watching as Gold, Silver and Ruby did the same.

"My turn already, huh?" said Gold, grinning. "Well, to be honest, there's not a whole lot I haven't done where this is concerned…"

"You idiot, you're not supposed to be proud of that."

"Aww, lay off, won't you, Silver? Geez. Well folks…I've never be called loud in bed."

"What a surprise," Silver muttered. Gold just glared at him.

Ruby was snickering at Sapphire, who lost yet another finger to that statement, glowering.

Silver rolled his eyes—this was embarrassing and stupid and he was going to murder Gold later for this. "I don't know. I've…I have never given someone oral." Down went the fingers of Blue, Gold and Ruby, and Silver more than happily passed on the questions to Chris.

Eight fingers, and she was still doing rather well… at least, doing much better than some people, like Gold, who was almost a hand gone. She couldn't think of any good ones, so with a small sigh, she said, "I've never had sex with someone with a significant age gap."

Silver's eyebrows disappeared into his unruly red hair. "Define 'significant age gap'."

"I don't know…seven or more years in either direction, I guess? I didn't put too much thought into that, actually…" Blue shrugged as she lost her fifth finger, Yellow looked like she wanted to sink into the floor as she put down her fourth.

"This is going by really fast," Ruby murmured, looking at the rest of his peers. "I've never been in a threesome. Or anything more than that."

Given how close they were, he wasn't all that surprised to see the Johto trio put down fingers, but the Sinnoh group was another story.

Sapphire, who looked more than visibly annoyed at this point, had her statement prepared. "I've never given out sexual favors to someone." A part of her was extremely grateful Ruby didn't put a finger down.

"Oh, well," Silver began to mutter as he tucked one into his palm, receiving a sympathetic glance from Blue. "I—Gold, shut up, you put down a finger too, I don't want to hear it."

"But who—?"

"Not. Another. Word." Silver growled, eyes flashing. Maybe someday he'd tell Gold about what a classy, knowledgeable gentleman Lance really was, but this was not the time to do so.

Emerald was glad he wasn't the only one that had ten fingers remaining. "I've never had sex outside of a bedroom."

"And let me tell you, it's simply awful," Ruby snapped, ruefully putting down a finger, glowering at Sapphire, who had done the same but was smirking at him; Blue and Gold almost looked like they would do it again.

"My turn already?" murmured Diamond sleepily, who hadn't really been paying much attention to the others' risqué doings. "Well…I guess I've never had bad sex."

Pearl and Platina looked relieved, touched even—Green, Blue, Gold and Silver did not. Ruby seemed to give this one heavy consideration before ultimately deciding against it, when Sapphire all but kicked him in the gut, glaring daggers.

Pearl also had his statement ready. "I've never been walked in on!"

Not funny, Silver mouthed, while Gold just toppled backwards laughing. At least Ruby and Sapphire appeared to commiserate with the Johto native.

Finally it was Platina's turn. And the Berlitz heiress thought…well, this was certainly a very creative way of getting to know her fellow PokeDex Holders better, even if some of them seriously lacked class, like that sex-savvy Gold and flirtatious Blue. With a quiet smile, she finished off, "I've never had a pregnancy scare."

"Elaborate." The demand was from Ruby.

"I've never thought I was pregnant, nor have I thought I impregnated someone else."

Blue, Yellow, Gold, Silver, Chris, Ruby, and Sapphire put down their fingers. Gold had no fingers left.

"So does this mean I win?" Gold grinned.

"It means you get around way too much, man."

As Gold and Silver began to bicker, Green stared in mortification. Gold had been the 'winner', with no fingers left; that obnoxious girl had one; Silver only had two, as did Ruby; Sapphire looked extremely uncomfortable with her remaining four, Yellow with a surprising five—he had expected at least a seven—and Chris six; at least he, Diamond, Pearl and Platina still had some dignity to speak of with eight; and Emerald looked clueless at ten, and he did not want to know what Red was even thinking at that moment.

Next time they were to play 'group-bonding games', he'd be picking the next one.

Author's Postscript:

So, what do you guys think? It's really short and just for fun and humor purposes...but I really enjoyed writing this. I enjoyed playing the game itself too, except that the topic of discussion wasn't...*coughs* about horizontal minuets that many among us do.

Just to explain for the sake of those who have yet to play I've Never, it's basically a game where you and a group of friends talk about things you've never done. Everyone holds out ten fingers, and if you say I've never eaten ice cream and your friend has eaten it, then he/she will have to put a finger down. The person to have the most fingers left usually wins, but Gold twisted the game a little here...

I'd love reviews, but no flames, remember~!