...He fell asleep. How cute. The pale moonlight is shining on us and your sleeping figure is beautiful.
The council room was quiet. It was dark, save for the dim light of the moon. Dangerously dark and quiet.
Oh well. And I even tried so hard not to think it.
I get up and cover you with a blanket, happily thinking that you fell asleep while finishing your secretarial duties... Happily...? Well... no use hiding it...
"I'm very happy that you still choose to be by my side rather than Nagisa's... although I know... that it's for the student council. Ahaha...", I mumble in the air, looking at the cherry blossoms blooming and basking in the moonlight, thinking of you, of us that could never be.
"Ngggmmmhmmpppngg kaichou-mmhhmmpp duties-mmhmmpp.."
I turn to face you, and you're pouting. I laugh softly, thinking that dreaming of me must be really upsetting you. Maybe you'd prefer dreaming of Nagisa rather than scolding me in you dreams.
But I'm happy. Very much happy that you dreamt of me and not her.
I move closer to you and whisper, "As expected, you really are a great secretary. Yes, yes, I'll do it right away~"
"Mmmhhhmmm good-nggmphh pape-nngngmpmmhnh!", and you smile so sweetly.
I laugh, softly again so I can't disturb your wonderful dream...wonderful for me, at least, and I say, "Now, now. People need to rest, Suoh. Stay still for me, would you?"
I slowly lift him up, like a parent cradling a child or a brother helping another, but even more so like a lover carrying his lover, gently and lovingly, while softly saying words of promise, a lullaby. Finally, we reach the lounge room, where the comforters are located.
"You can sleep comfortably now," I say as I reluctantly let go of him and help him on to the bed.
The walk was short but sweet. And somewhere in the middle, I thought it was forever... I wouldn't mind. I would have rejoiced.
"You..." I mumble as I stare at his sleeping face, carefully etching his features... because I don't know when I would be able to see this again.
"Your serious sleeping face is scary. Ahahahaha!" I say softly, laugh softly, afraid to wake the other, but hoping that somehow he could hear... hear what I can't, won't say when you're awake.
"But smiling while sleeping is definitely... bad. Well for me. Because if you're like that, how can I just give you to Nagisa? Ahahaha..." I stare and stare at him.
I slowly realize that the more I stay here with him, the more I won't be able to go and let go.
"Suoh..." I kiss him on the forehead. Barely able to control myself, I stop just in time before my body can act on its own... to hold him... but that might wake him.
"Good night and sweet dreams, Suoh..."
I hadn't notice that I have been crying until I saw water, teardrops, on my palms as I clench them in frustration...
"Ahahaha..." I wipe the tear stains away and start to get up...
I open the door, look back, and see a perfectly serene Suoh.
I smile and say, "Good night, Suoh! Come to think of it, I probably said that already~! Ahahaha..."
I turn to the door and think...
Suoh is sleeping anyway right? So it wouldn't hurt to tell him now.
Yes. That's right. It's now or never.
I'll say it... This one time. The first, and last time I'll ever say it to him.
I face him again and say, in a voice I know he would hear if he is awake, "And Suoh... I..."
"I love you."
I smile but tears won't stop flowing out...
"I'll be going now. Goodbye."
I close the door silently and I walk away... thinking I shouldn't have said it after all.
But he's sleeping anyway... maybe dreaming of Nagisa.
If she can bring you your happiness, your smile that I adore, I will not stand in your way...
But I cry anyway...
And so, I walk away...
Lost in my world... I couldn't care less about the beauty of the lake in the moonlight, the cool night breeze gently scattering a carpet of cherry blossoms... I didn't notice anything...
...Not even those golden eyes, opened wide, from the lounge room...