Yaoi warning. Also, I own nothing. (In case anyone cared... or thought otherwise...)

"You what?" Mikado cried in a both angry and startled soprano. His blue eyes fiercely glared at the three laughing faces in front of him from atop red, red cheeks that threatened to become tomatoes. His hands flew up to push the hair above his ears aside, as though it would help him forget what he just heard. "I, I -"

Splayed backward with her feet in the air, Erika wiped tears of laughter from her eyes, ignoring the daggers currently being shot at her from the timid boy. "Your reaction was too great! Honestly, it can't be that surprising!"

Walker lay next to her in a similar position and (also similarly) was cracking up. "It's Erika, what did you expect?"

Masaomi, the little traitor, had joined into their laughter fest, for reasons unknown to Mikado - there was nothing funny about it! It was embarrassing! It was - it was an invasion of privacy! An outrage!

Trying his best to contain his bursts of giggles, Kida sat up and, as if he had been in a trance, slapped both of his cheeks, which were red from breath-stealing laughter. He leaned over and, slightly drunkenly, patted Mikado's shoulder firmly. "Come on, it's really funny! Even you have to see the humor in this!"

Ignoring the minor offense of "even you," Mikado turned his head away and blushed. "How can you be so comfortable! She - she wrote p - porn of us!"

The word "porn," which he had forced out with much embarrassment, seemed to surprise even himself as it came out of his lips. It made him look farther away from Masaomi and blush ten times harder. This only caused the other three to spit out short but loud laughs, which they instantly tried to cover up.

Mikado sighed, wishing with all his might that he were absolutely anywhere besides this painfully humiliating predicament.

Half an Hour Earlier

Kadota and Togusa had left them alone in the van as they went about some sort of important business inside Russian Sushi. Normally, Erika and Walker would have insisted on being part of any sort of interesting discussion (especially if it allowed an opportunity to goof off) except, due to recent events that aren't to be discussed, they weren't exactly welcomed at the establishment. Indefinitely.

Mikado and Masaomi had joined into their little adventure - which couldn't really be called 'adventurous,' for it reached its climax in a restaurant's back parking lot - after Masaomi's infinite (and horrendous) pickup lines had failed for an indescribably large amount of times. They'd given up - much to the disappointment of a certain blonde - and headed to Russian Sushi, only to spy a familiar van in the back and join its occupants, the two otaku.

Inside, the two were found in the middle of a completely serious discussion revolving around the impact of Boys' Love on modern culture. While an awkward subject to walk into, it wasn't a foreign topic to the boys' ears, as they spent a fair amount of time among the otakus. Erika, of course, was the more experienced one in the subject and took a much more supportive view of it than Walker did (though he wasn't strictly opposed to it). She spoke with enthusiasm and starry eyes as she ranted on with passion about yaoi, much to all three's enjoyment.

It was brought up, of course, that she had written some of her own, and her back straightened and head rose in pride when the topic was touched upon. "Yep!" she confidently confirmed. "Real quality stuff, too!" Her serious attitude was extremely funny to the other three (who were, thankfully, ignoring the fact that they were guys), especially Masaomi and Mikado, who weren't heartily into anime or manga.

"Fanfiction or what?" Masaomi asked, for Walker already knew, and Mikado would be too ashamed to ask.

Her grin grew, and she answered as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "I do that, yes, but I get a lot of inspiration from the real world!" which was, Mikado supposed, the polite way of saying that she wrote stories about males she knew having kinky sex. "Like Shizuo and Izaya!"

This sent Masaomi into a rabid bought of laughter, and he gripped his sides as he rolled backward. "No way! That's too good!" Even Mikado snorted at the thought of the two blatant nemesi getting along long enough to... to... he didn't want to imagine it past that point.

"The tough part is deciding who tops because they both seem like natural semes, right?" Walker grinned in response, and even Masaomi dried his eyes and sat up enough to give a little nod, as though he understood the lingo that puzzled Mikado. "I switch it up sometimes, but I mostly like Shizuo on top, you know? I mean, can you imagine how turned on he would be at the sight of the usually smirking and manipulative Izaya turning into a puddle of moans, being submissive and all?" The end of her sentence faded into an excited squeal, followed by a chorus of laughs. And one especially red, red face.

Erika's head perked up, as though she had just remembered something, and she turned to Kida and Mikado with determination. "Actually, I've written a couple about you two, too."

A second of silence followed her casual announcement - half of which was in anticipation for a reaction and the other half in shock.

Then, chaos broke out.

Hence brings us back to the previously interrupted scene.

Mikado flushed darker at their reaction to his embarrassment; why didn't any of them find it strange? Even Masaomi?

'It's not that big a deal!" Erika got out between laughs. She tried to cover her mouth in order to stop her giggles, but she ended up collapsing forward in a spasm of guffaws, her hand that had been over her lips now slapping her knee.

Walker had straightened up by now, and Masaomi was peering at Mikado - a smile still dancing on his lips - with curiosity, as though he couldn't figure out why Mikado would be so offended. He leaned toward Mikado a little more, supporting himself with his left hand.

"Does it really bother you that much?" He twisted his head to the side, and Mikado's heart gave a little start. Ba-dum.

Honestly, he wanted to answer "yes," but he amost felt as though he would be insulting Kida in doing so. But was it really hurtful to say that you didn't like the idea of an otaku fangirling over the idea of him and his best friend doing... things?

"Er, well..."

"Aw~! Mikado's getting all flustered, ne!"

He turned toward the others, pointing at Mikado with a laughing smile planted on his lips.

Suddenly, any worry about hurting Masaomi's feelings left him. He fixed his eyes on the back of Kida's head - a solid, bleached blonde - and worked very hard to prove that looks could kill.

Erika giggled at their short banter and immediately turned to whisper something in Walker's ear, who quickly covered his mouth to hide a snort. Mikado looked on, puzzled, his face a mirror of Kida's for once. Seeing their faces, the two otakus simply grinned wider and said, in perfect harmony, 'It's nothing, nothing~!" while waving the idea away with their hands.

Kida shrugged, not all that interested in their quiet discussions, and Mikado couldn't help but agree - some things that go between those two should be kept secret. The four friends' usually boisterous conversation faded into a soft, awkward silence.

"So," Mikado started timidly, partially to end the silence and partially because he had finally worked up the nerve to ask what was on his mind, "wh-what sort of thing have you written?"

Now that got a reaction.

Erika rubbed her chin sagely as she chuckled deeply. "So, the innocent bystander's curiously wanders into the mysterious and enticing land of yaoi..." A duet of chuckles made up the background sound of her short speech.

Mikado was sure his cheeks, as hot as he'd ever felt them, weren't helping his situation. "I-it's not l-like I -"

Erika waved his words away casually, signaling him as if to say that his explanation wasn't necessary. "It's fine, it's fine! I'd wanna know if it were me!"

Kida laughed, stating for himself, "Yeah, I was sorta wondering, too."

Erika and Walker (who knew just as much about what she had written) shared a quick glance. and each put a hand to their chin, accompanied with a soft "Hmm..."

"Well," Erika started, "there was the one with the maid outfits, for starters."

Walker nodded, adding, "Don't forget the cat ears and tails in that one, too," to which Erika nodded enthusiastically in agreement.

"Maid outfit? On who?" Kida asked, leaning forward in excitement, as though he didn't find a single problem with it.

"Both of you!" they chorused, leaned up to him in unison.

Masaomi laughed in response and said, with complete seriousness, "Then I suppose the question is: which one of us looked best?" Mikado flushed, wanting very much to fade into the cheap walls of the van or, better yet, go back to when he hadn't asked the question in the first place.

"I can't say for sure," Erika said with a sly grin. "Neither of you stayed in it for long." Her voice went up at the end, obviously hinting at the innuendo in the statement. Mikado did his best to not imagine anything after the maid outfits were removed - he didn't want to think of that - while Masaomi merely laughed it off, subtlety mumbling something about how he probably looked better without it on.

"I might just have to read some! How many do you have, anyway?" Mikado's eyes widened in his friend's interest in looking at Erika's works, and even she seemed a bit caught off guard. He also tried very hard not to think of what Masaomi might do with such "reading material."

"Only a handful, I mostly write Shizaya," - it took Mikado more than a few seconds to figure out what that was supposed to mean - "but there's still a few of you guys."

Mikado, surprisingly, didn't find much comfort in that fact.

"Oh!" she said enthusiastically, her head perking up like a dog's. "But my favorite's the one where Kida struggles to admit to himself that his shameless flirtations toward girls are just a cover up for his strong love of cocks! Of course, his hormones go mad for Mikado, and he eventually seduces him into bed. And Mikado, who never thought of Kida - or any guy - like that, becomes so lustful and passionate when confronted with the intimately erotic action of sex that he turns the tables completely and tops Kida!"

Her long spiel ended only to be faced with completely silence and two shocked faces (Walker's remained in a blissful smile).

"Wh-what? H-how detailed are these?" Mikado cried in shock, his face completely crimson from hearing the depiction of him and Masaomi having s-sex. He hoped Kida didn't glance over and see him looking so flustered.

Thankfully, Masaomi was distracted. "More importantly," he said forcefully, "why on earth did Mikado top me?" He actually sounded seriously upset about it! Mikado looked at him incredulously (Kida, thankfully, didn't notice the blue eyed boy's large eyes fixed on him).

He wasn't bothered in the least by being portrayed as partaking in sexual endeavors with his male best friend, yet he was that easily upset over the notion of being topped by his male best friend in said fictional endeavors?

Kida's glare only intensified, and Mikado mentally face-palmed. Yes, apparently so.

"Come on," Erika said, preparing to defend her concept. "It fits!" Her face was pretty serious, and Mikado looked on with worry of a possible outbreak in fighting.

"Mikado is a stuttering, blushing uke if I've ever seen one!" Kida fought back, and Mikado muttered slightly in response, asking what that meant. He was sure it wasn't a compliment.

"Exactly!" Erika cried, her expression a combination of excitement toward her cause and anger. "You two are so stereotyped seme and uke - you always flirting and Mikado always being flustered and all - that a role-reversal would be perfect for you two!" Mikado blinked, only understanding part of their conversation, while recognizing the familiar terms "uke" and "seme" coming up.

"That's nonsense!" said Masaomi, who seemed a bit too serious in his defense of him being a "seme" toward Mikado. "I'd be on top, and Mikado would absolutely stay on bottom!"

Erika rolled her eyes, as though disappointed by his lack of vision in the art of yaoi. "Yeah? Prove it."

Mikado expected Kida to do something normal - you know, like blush or fall back in shock or laugh the comment off at least, like he usually would. Instead, he caught the glint of competition in Kida's eyes. He smirked and raised his chin. "Okay then."

He turned determinedly to Mikado, who instinctively backed away after spotting the seriousness in his eyes, accompanied by a subtle playfulness. It was exactly how he would stare down a girl in the city before going up to flirt with her.

Erika's face burst into a wide smile, her entire body looking excited at the prospect of a show. Walker leaned back against the wall of the van and crossed his arms, not particularly interested in the show, yet certainly not about to stop it.

Masaomi maneuvered his slightly cramped legs out from under his body and moved to crawl across the dirty floor of the van. His hands moved, one over the other, as he narrowed in on Mikado, his shoulders swaying back and forth. Mikado tried to gulp down the sudden lump in his throat from nervousness and - possibly? - something else.

Kida's eyes narrowed seductively, and he licked his lips subconsciously, first tracing the inside of his bottom lip with his pink tongue, then letting it flash twice across his top lip. Mikado's heart beat faster in his chest.

Masaomi moved forward like an animal on the prowl and, while doing so, casually reached to the side and clicked back the lock on the door of the van, earning gasps from both Erika and Mikado - one from glee and one from shock. He seemed to ignore the otaku's gasp, while Mikado's made his sadistic grin grow, sending chills down the black-haired boy's spine, reminding him an awful lot of a certain informant.

Before he knew it, Mikado was backed up to the backside of the passenger seat - a fact he discovered with a sharp intake of breath - therefore useless to escape Kida. The boy in question was getting closer and closer, and Mikado hardly had time to register what was going on when Kida firmly attached his mouth to the side of Mikado's neck. Mikado, once again, gasped.

Masaomi worked with great ease, his tongue playfully tracing up and down Mikado's neck until he reached his jawline. He slid his mouth over his chin before settling it onto Mikado's mouth. This seemed to break the founder of Dollars out of his trance.

Immediately, he attempted to lean away from his best friend, whose tongue was getting a little too involved for Mikado's liking. Kida took that opportunity to grab onto his tie, for once causing Mikado to curse his robotic obeying of school uniform standards.

Quickly, though, he escaped his tie, though not by his own choice; Masaomi undid it, followed by the first couple buttons of his shirt. While he couldn't see her face, Mikado was sure Erika was in the middle of a fangasm. Kida rolled his mouth back down onto Mikado's neck, this time going lower, his lips softly tickling Mikado's collarbone as they moved along it. Mikado let out a quiet, low moan, instantly regretting it when he felt Kida's cold lips smirk against his pale skin.

More buttons were hastily undone and a jacket removed. Mikado had a feeling that his friend had completely forgotten about the challenge Erika had issued him.

Of course, Mikado himself wasn't exactly fighting Kida away, now was he?

He felt a wet tongue trail down his stomach, changing from being flat and soft licks to hard, narrow-tongued movements. Speaking of hard...

Kida brought his hand up, amost nonchalantly, to right below his tongue, which was enthusiastically playing around Mikado's belly button. It smoothly rubbed above the pant line, making its way downward, first to rub above the fabric of his school pants (Mikado was sure Kida felt something when he endured yet another smug grin pressed into his abdomen) and then making its way under the border between flesh and material. He felt a slight tremble from the hand, only now realizing that Kida might not be as confident as he acted.

Mikado's hands moved down, helping to guide Kida's and undo the snap on his pants. Kida handled the zipper himself. The pants went down, and the boxers were tugged to almost his knees. Eyes widened throughout the van.

Once again, Mikado changed the position of his hand, this time to a less passive position - gripping the back of Kida's hair, tugging and messing up blonde locks. His initiative generated an excited squeal from Erika, who he had almost forgotten about. His hands brought Masaomi's head closer on reflex, and only then did he feel the hard mass present in Kida's pants just as one had been in his own. It surprised him only a little bit, though his thoughts were interrupted by Masaomi slowly licking in circles right below where his waistline would be, earning a moan of pleasure from the boy who was stripped down. "Ma-Masao *gasp* mi!"

Mikado was almost worried for a second, thinking of how far it could get, when they were fifteen and both boys and in front of Erika and Walker and -

But his thoughts were again interrupted, this time by the sound of a door opening and a familiar voice saying, "What the hell?"

Togusa. And, assumedly, Kadota.

Kida sat up immediately, his legs still positioned astride Mikado's, as though it were the most natural thing in the world. His hands moved to cover the spot where he had just be licking. "Hey," he said casually, "what's up?"

Kadota leaned in from the other door, giving them a puzzled look before retiring to a sigh, muttering, "We didn't even invite them, yet we walk in to find them... ugh..."

"Can you give us a ride to Mikado's apartment? We have homework," Kida asked politely, as though nothing weird had happened. All the while, though, his hands tickled the front of Mikado's crotch, resulting in several weak, covered-up squeaks from the boy.

"Should we ask?" Togusa said plainly.

Masaomi smirked, replying cheerfully, "Nah, it was just an... experiment."

Erika sighed in the back, half in ecstasy from the show she had just witnessed, half in frustration at two of the van's occupants' remarkably bad timing. Walker only chuckled at his best friend's predicament.

Farther in the front to the van, Mikado turned away from Kida and, subtlety as possible, pulled up his pants, fixed his shirt, and located his tie and jacket. Suddenly, he felt a sharp bite on his neck and stifled a cry. Kida nibbled on his neck a little more, before rubbing his lips up to the boy's ear and entangling them into his short, black locks. "Want to continue the 'experiment' at your apartment, hmm~?" His breath was warm and seductive, sending ticklish goose bumps up Mikado's neck.

"E-eh?" Mikado blushed and turned his head away immediately, indicating neither yes or no (though it was obvious that it would effectively act as a "yes").

His ear remained close enough, though, to hear Masaomi laugh and mumble with a smile in his voice, "Uke..."

Just kidding, we all know he'd go all Boss!kado on Kida's ass in the end.

Alright, review and all, you know the drill. Or don't. You know, whatever.