Author's Note: This fic is a parody of Guitar Hero: Warriors of Rock that I originally wrote WAY back in 2011 when Guitar Hero was mistakenly announced as cancelled. I'd delete it but it's too funny so I'm doing a bit of editing to it, just to improve it a little. I'm also going to upload it to my deviantart just in case it gets deleted here. Warning, this fanfic contains spoilers for World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King (If you haven't played it yet) and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Face it, you should have read it by now) but also pokes fun at Runescape players. If you play Runescape, and I have offended you in any way, here's an apology muffin.


Guitar Zeroes

A Guitar Hero Parody/Fanfic by BLUBerryFeet

What happened to the stars of Guitar Hero?

Johnny Napalm: He accidentally ran into Megaman on a dark night and was arrested for murder. He was sentenced to death by exploding.

Echo Tesla: Having lost all hope of ever having a job again, she leapt into her local river in an attempt to drown herself. Upon contact with the water, she immedietly regretted choosing death by drowning as the water made her short circuit, fatally electrocuting her and Izzy Sparks who happened to be paddling nearby.

Judy Nails: She attempted to befriend a gun shop owner's daughter but scared the girl to death with her face. The father then proceeded to send her straight to hell where she belonged.

Austin Tejas: He went to a trendy nightclub in an attempt to get a girlfriend. He met a really nice woman but, when requested to light her cigarette, accidentally lit the gas coming out of his neck, slowly and agonisingly burning himself to death.

Pandora: She managed to find a new job as a Quest Boss in Runescape. Nerds slew her over and over again as they played the game in their bedrooms.

Lars Umlaut: Moved into a hunting reserve, bit of a stupid move really since he ended up being shot at point blanc range.

Casey Lynch: She transformed into a snake permanently and moved to England. A nice chap called Tom Riddle took her in and called her Nagini. They had a nice life together until Neville Longbottom, having taken a step in badass, decapitated her.

Axel Steel: Went back to Egypt to catch up on the latest Jiggy McCue novel and accidentally lit himself on fire attempting to cook a can of beans.

Demi-God of Rock: Went straight to Activision to kill whoever decided to cancel the series but was crushed to death by The Beast.

The Beast: Tripped over a cow and fell into a metal recycler. He ended up being made into Glam Metal Toilet Seats and Metal Headrails. (A friend of mine will get the joke)

Minotaur: Went back to his dungeon and resumed his old hobby. Stamp collecting. He was down to his last stamp when he was finally slain by Theseus.

Midori: She begged Activision for her job back but was instead dragged out, kicking and screaming, and was slowly beaten to death with her own guitar by Penelope McQueen from Rock Band.

Arthas Menethil: With his new gig over, he went back to ruling his kingdom. Soon after, he met with Trion Fording and was slain in battle.

Xavier Stone: Upon hearing of the series cancellation, he did what his idol Jimi Hendrix did. Died.

Grim Ripper: He had the misfortune to apply for a job in a dog pound. Believably, all that remains of him today is his robe, hourglass necklace and scythe guitar.

Everyone Else (Including Custom Characters): Everyone else attempted to get jobs in other games like Rock Band and Dance Dance Revolution but were subject to mishaps like malfunctioning pyrotechnics and being unable to dodge the arrows rising out of the ground.


Author's Notes: And that's the end of the fic. Again, I apologise deeply if I have offended any Runescape players