AN: This idea just popped into my head. I really like it. I hope you do too!
Hawkeye strode off to work. She ran over the Fuhrer's orders in her head. 'Due to recent goings-on, Colonel Roy Mustang and his subordinates are to preform in a play adaptation of the Princess Bride to be shown to the ranking officers of the Amestrian Military.'
The Lieutenant shook her head. Working with the team, she could deal with, but acting with them... well, if nothing else, it could turn out to be a very interesting experience. For her, at least.
Though, Hawkeye couldn't help but wonder why. Why the Princess Bride? Why now? And why did Hughes, of all people, have to direct it? Getting him to stop talking was like telling the sun to tone it down a bit. Not happening.
By this time Hawkeye had arrived at the office. She went inside, only to find it was silent as the grave. No one was there. A scribbled note was on top of the precarious-looking pile of paperwork on Mustang's desk. On it was the message:
'Went to the warehouse down the street to rehearse. We have already cast the parts. Come ASAP. M.'
Hawkeye scanned over the information. She rolled her eyes at Mustang's idea. If they were rehearsing at warehouse 13 nothing would get done. The men would be to bust worrying about ghosts and ghouls to work.
However, she was determined to see the enterprise thought to the last. Regardless of how far that might be. She exited the office and set off down the street. Once she made it to said warehouse and had entered she found yet more silence.
The team was waiting for her. They were actually waiting in fear. Mustang was the most afraid. This was because he knew what role the Lieutenant would be getting, and she was NOT going to like it. Gulp.
Hawkeye glanced around and sensed the tension. She guessed that the parts had been cast and that whatever she had gotten had made the men afraid of her wrath. Not necessarily a bad thing. To bad she wasn't allowed to injure them severely.
Hughes, as the director, had the unfortunate task of informing her of the recent developments. Why is he the director? That's a good question... because he's the biggest Princess Bride fan. I'm telling you, it's the truth. Getting back to the story...
"You're going to be playing Buttercup to Mustang's Westley." Hughes said brightly. Hawkeye waited a moment for the punchline. Apparently, it wasn't coming. No wonder the men were frightened. That explains it.
Mustang stared intently at Hawkeye's face for any sign that she was going to shoot them all. Deciding that the coast was clear, he got out from his hiding place behind a table. You heard me.
He brought forth the script. Okay, not so much, he tried to bring it forth but he really just got it and handed it to Hawkeye. But, that just doesn't sound as cool.
The Lieutenant perused the script. She read over the various scenes and smiled at all the funny bits. But, the true love nonsense just isn't really her forte and by the end of it she was frowning again.
"So, I'm Buttercup, the Colonel's Westley, where does that leave the rest of you?" she asked suddenly. This was an obvious question but her voice still made everyone jump.
Hughes handed her the list and she glanced over it. It looked like this:
The team looked at her face expectantly. She felt they were waiting for her opinion. Jeez, the pressure. Actually, only one thing had occurred to her. "Havoc, your character's name, is Humperdinck?" Hawkeye asked, fighting back a smile. Havoc blushed cherry red. He discreetly hid behind a table which happened to be conveniently nearby.
Hughes gave one of his trademarked smiles and shouted "TAKE YOUR MARKS FOR THE CLIFFS OF INSANITY!" everyone then scrambled over one another (except Hawkeye) to reach their places.
"Do you hear that Princess? Those are the shrieking eels. They get louder when they're about to feed." Vizzini said evilly. Buttercup looked around at the sound of deadly swishing around her. Just as the eel was about to attack-
A loud scream rent the air. The man portraying the eel clutched at his head. A large metal object was swinging from Hawkeye's hand. It appeared that in the split second before he got her, she had hit him. So much for Fezzik.
Hughes saw this and was struck with an idea. He glanced over at Mustang and measured him up. This could work. He announced his idea to the cast. "We will be switching lead roles. Hawkeye will be Westley and Mustang, you get to be Buttercup."
Hawkeye smirked. Mustang gaped openly at Hughes. Hughes grinned. The team of Eastern HQ made sure that Mustang didn't have access to his ignition gloves.
They restarted the scene with the new substitutions. "Do you hear that Princess? Those are the shrieking eels..." the scene actually went better than the first time. Hawkeye defeated Inigo and Fezzik without batting an eye.
After rehearsal was done the Lieutenant thought she'd have a brief discussion with Mustang to see if he was okay with the switch. She did so and he seemed to be okay with it. Apart from the usual 'I feel so insulted. I'm so hard done by. Hughes is so annoying...' yada, yada, yada.
While this was going on Hughes could be seen in chibi form in the background squealing about how cute his daughter was. Mustang walked Hawkeye back to work. He then attempted to get out of paperwork. Whether or not he did remains to be seen.
AN: What do you think? Did you see the switch coming? I really like it! I think that Mustang makes for the perfect Buttercup! :) Please Review!