A/N: Ok guys, I'm so sorry it has tooken this long to update. Only excuse I have is my mind wasn't into this. I have alot that went on past few wks. Anyway I wanted to thank my friend for proof reading she's the best. I wanted to thank ya'll who reading and reviewing. I didn't expect any reviews but it does feel greatt to know thazt there is people liking this. BTW When Ashley uses her I-PAD, it'll be in bold and itiaic because I-Pad voice is computer voice. So hope you enjoy
As on cue, Kayden took my water bottle and filled it up before restoring his man-cave to its original state. Boy, sometimes I have to wonder about Kayden. I just don't get the whole disco ball. How many man caves have them? If I found out that Kayden is gay or bi, I wouldn't care. I love him to death. Hell, I don't know what I am myself. If I've been dreaming about some girl with amazing blue eyes since I was ten, doesn't that mean I could be at least bi? The thing is I could only see her face. Just as I was trying to picture it, Kayden snapped me out of my thoughts.
"Earth to the dreamer, I've been trying to get your attention for a few minutes."
I looked at him.
"Sorry just thinking…"
Kayden gave me an odd look.
"You have been zoning out a lot lately. What is in your crazy head?"
He knew I would give a vague answer, so I gave him exactly what he expected.
I was not ready to tell him any more of it.
"So it's the same dream?"
I just nod and surprisingly, he let it go.
"Let's finish the tour so you can get in touch with your bed."
"Ok, that sounds good to me! You push."
Kayden took us to the room with a bright red door.
"What is with the red door?"
This is going to be interesting.
"I wanted it to be different."
He half smiled and then opened the door.
"I didn't do much to it, considering I wouldn't be using this room that much in next seven or more years."
While he was explaining, I looked around. I wasn't expecting to see a normal room. I had to admit my brother did a great job besides the Eagles shit he put up on the walls. Pardon my French, but I am a Steelers fan. For those of you who don't follow football, The Steelers and The Eagles are both football teams in Pennsylvania.
Ok, the room has the usual. On his king sized bed he had an Eagles silk sheet with pillows and a comforter. On his wall above his headboard is a blown up picture of him and dad holding guitars. It was taken a few days before dad killed himself. On the rest of walls, he has pictures of me and his friends. \
"Wow, it looks great."
"Thanks Ashley! So, do you want to see something cool?"
I nodded. He went to his dresser and picked up a watch. I was little confused.
"This watch is connected to my room's camera. If I want to turn it on or off, all I have to do is press a few buttons in the right order."
He turned his T.V. on and you could see, through multiple cameras, a view of the whole house. He showed me where his room was on the screen. It disappeared after Kayden used the watch.
"No freaking way. How do you do that? That's awesome!"
He just smiled.
"I know a lot about this stuff. So I wanted for us to have some control over the cameras in our bedrooms and even spare rooms have some form of a device for those cameras. Mine is a watch, yours would be your chair once I program it. I am going to do it later."
I don't know why he's majoring to become a brain doctor when he should be doing something in technology or designing houses. I should have a talk with him later.
"You do know I want the bathrooms camera free before you leave right? Even if they are disconnected, I can't have someone find them and freak out on me."
Kayden just nodded.
"I wasn't thinking about that part. So how about we make a deal? If I take them out tonight, you have to come with me somewhere tomorrow night."
Damn it. He probably would wait until right before he leaves for U.C.L.A. and I'm not too comfortable by myself.
"But I haven't unpacked so I wouldn't have anything to wear."
"We have to go to the mall tomorrow anyway so you can get an outfit there. You know you want to go. Stop making lame excuses and just say yes!"
I hate how he does this. "Fine, deal." Kayden just cracked up. I was getting annoyed, so I ran over his foot to wipe that look off his face.
"You should know better than to laugh at me while I'm tired and grouchy. And where did I just agree to go to?"
At least I wasn't in Davies 143 or his foot would be broken.
"Well Ashley, I'm not going to tell. Hence the reason why I said 'somewhere.' Next time, punch me in the gut. My feet are precious."
What the hell? Did he just say that?
"Walk it off like a man. I am going to check out the room with the midnight blue door while you sit in your room and cry about your foot."
I am such an evil spineless sister at times. I can't always be good to my little brother or I wouldn't have any fun. As I was getting ready to leave the room, I hesitated. Maybe it was time to get some things clear.
"Kayden, I have three rules about this place. 1.) If you or I have a date and are expecting bring them back here, we have to warn each other. Mostly so I can decide to not be here. Even though you are still young, I would not interfere and I would expect the same from you. 2.) No drugs. Drinking is ok, but that's it. I'd prefer you to be here if you want to drink but I can't control your whereabouts. I am not giving you permission to drink but I am saying if you do, I want you to be safe. 3.) If shit hits the fan, we both have to trust each other. Meaning there's nothing you could do to disappoint me unless you keep things from me or are dishonest. I'm not going to be strict but you better keep your limits."
Kayden looked stunned.
"Ashley, I swear to you, there will be no drugs in this house. I'll definitely keep the rules in my head. I appreciate that you have so much faith in me."
Kayden was still holding his foot. I just nodded and led myself to the door that had caught my eye since we had first came upstairs. I was just about to open the door, when my phone started to go off. I checked to see who was texting me, and it was from T-Mobile telling me that my new number is in effect. I wasn't in too much of a hurry to let people know. My focus got back to the blue door in front of me.
"Hmm… I know that's a good color and all but the door won't open on its own."
"Haha very funny smartass! I got distracted with my phone."
I noticed a smile on his face. I am guessing this is the room he was talking about. I took a deep breath and opened it
That's all I could say. The room is empty but damn it's beautiful.
"I didn't know if I should set this room up without you. Do you see why I thought this room is the best for you?"
It is basically three walls and sliding doors to the balcony. It is facing towards the ocean. The walls are light blue and the ceiling has a golden huge angelheart with a pair of blue eyes.
"Yes I can see why, but I've got a question."
He added to my design, and in a very unique way.
"I'm guessing it is about the eyes, right?"
I nodded. "Well you see, I umm… unpacked a box of yours by an accident and umm… a notebook umm… completely by accident opened to a umm… pair of incredible blue eyes and-"
I'd heard enough.
He knows I wasn't too happy.
"It wasn't labeled and it has your notebooks in it. I swear I only looked in one book."
I looked at him.
"So you snooped?"
He became nervous because he knows that my notebooks are off limits.
"Once you realized it was MY box, you just couldn't let it go and looked through my personal notebook. Am I right?"
Before he could say anything, I kept on going.
"And you just alter my angelheart with THOSE eyes. How the fuck am I suppose to feel? Cause right now I feel betrayed."
I decided to open the sliding door and wheel myself onto the balcony. God this is beautiful. Kayden waited few minutes to follow me onto the balcony.
"Don't you want to know why I did it?"
I just stared at the ocean.
"Because for the past year and a half, you've been very distant. At first, I thought it was all that court crap but I realized that notebook was taking my place. You still talk to me, but not nearly as much as before. So I unintentionally opened one of your boxes, when I noticed what in it. My curiosity got the best of me. I only wanted to look in one notebook. When I did, I found a pair of blue eyes on almost every page. I was mesmerized by those incredible eyes. And for the record I didn't alter your design. Now you have a drawing called Blue Angelheart. I'm sorry but I don't regret it. Because now I know what's going on with you."
At this point, tears are running down my face.
"I highly doubt that you do, ok?"
He kneeled down and started rubbing my back.
"Who is she? Why are you drawing her face? Were you guys… having a thing?"
Whoa! What? It took me a few minutes to process the questions.
"Ok, I don't even know if she is real."
For some reason I got the urge to stand. I used the railing to keep my balance.
I'm hating this conversation.
"It doesn't matter."
I sat back down.
"How can you tell me to be honest with you if you are not being honest with me? I know this matters to you if you drew her constantly. What is it that you are trying so hard to not tell me? Does Haley know?"
Haley James is Sara's daughter, and she's also my best friend. In the beginning, I wasn't too friendly to her. I thought she was being my friend out of pity. When we turned twelve, something happened that involved Haley's future ex-high-school boyfriend's brother and she saved me before anything could happen. We decided to keep it between us. From that day until the day that I left we were inseparable.
"No, she doesn't know. Hell Kayden, why does it matter? It is just a drawing."
I saw the hurt in his brown eyes.
"Will you drop it after today if I tell you?"
He took a deep breath.
"I can't promise anything but spill."
I turned to face him so that I could look him in his eyes. This way, he would know I wasn't lying.
"I have been dreaming of her face since I was ten. And for the past year and a half, I have been really confused about… me. I can't really explain it so I draw. I thought I saw her today, but I must be too tired."
Kayden just stared. I could tell he was in deep thought.
"Ashley, I have to ask you this and I want you to know I won't judge. Is this dream girl the ideal person that you umm… want to spend your life with?"
I broke the eye contact and looked down at the waves.
"I do not know."
I heard a sigh from him.
"If you are scared to admit to me that there is a possibility of you liking girls, I just want you to know that I'll love you no matter what. You're my big sis who went through hell for me. There's no fucking way I'd disown you because you might be gay."
That put a smile on my face.
"Thanks little bro. I needed to hear that."
Just then, Kayden's cell phone started ringing.
"Yo man, what's up? Nah, not tonight. Because my sis just got here, but we are still on for tomorrow night. Yes my sis is coming and no you've already got Maddy so don't even try it or I'll kick your ass. Ok later Aid."
I raised my eyebrows. Geez he can make friends easy!
"That was Aiden," he said. "We met at the gym. You will meet him tomorrow night. By the way, you are welcome."
He gave me a Davies hug. I will explain later.
"So…" I said. "I totally know how to hook the room up. We'll talk about my idea later. We need to finish the tour."
He showed me the upstairs bathroom. It wasn't set up for me, but he made sure the toilet and sink were accessible. He even asked if I was mad that the bathroom wasn't set up for me. I was like, "No way! I wouldn't use it that much, anyways." The spare room had the usual.
"Ok, now can you help me back down? My legs are tired."
He picked me up like a baby and sat me into my power chair.
Kayden smiled. It has been a while since I asked for help.
"No problem. You are lucky I work out."
I punched him.
"Remember that I'm tired."
If I really wanted to hurt him, I would aim lower.
"I assume the living room is like practically empty, so can we skip it? I know we need to go shopping tomorrow."
Kayden just nods and point to a room at the far end of the house.
"Do you want to go in there by yourself while I get your bags out of the car? I'll unload the rest tomorrow."
I don't remember him giving back my keys.
"You got my keys right?"
He pulled them out of his pocket.
"Want the buffister too?"
I smiled huge and quickly nodded. Buffister is my pride and joy. It's an elecric piano.
I headed to the door. It has a fainted angel wing. You're probably wondering what is with all these angels and hearts. You'll see later on. I opened the door and WOW! Kayden knows me so well. I could tell that this room was added to the loft. My brother knows I won't do the stairs two times or more to get to my room. Anyways, this particular room was probably the biggest room of the loft. Kayden built the desk himself, because he knew that it's hard to find one that I can use while I'm in my chair. I kind of helped him with the desk by making a sketch to give him an idea of what I would like. Ok let me explain… The frame is bolted to the floor so it won't move when I spin the top. It's about 6x6, in the shape of a circle. On it there is a desktop for personal use, a laptop that I use for all of my music and some recording equipment including a ton of speakers. Plus, there's even a bookshelf for my notebooks.
Kayden bought a Phillies baseball jersey and hung it up next to my painting of a white tiger. It was a pitcher, Cole Hamels. The bed is lower than most because it is easier for me that way. When I took a closer look, all I could think was, 'I'll be sleeping on a certain blonde.' He got me Buffy Summers sheets. I am overly obsessed with Buffy. Don't hate on me haha. Kayden painted my walls sky blue and the ceiling is black and full of stars. He did great. I spot a picture on my dresser. "You like it?" I jumped because he startled me, and Kayden laughed so hard.
"You are so lucky I love it or you'd be dead. Where did you find that picture?"
Kayden calmed down.
"The drunk lady gave it to me saying, 'You should have it.'"
I picked it up and stared at it.
"She promised she'd come back to save us but she never did. I needed my big sister but she never came back. Take it before I burn it."
We looked happy. I was five and my sister was standing behind me holding me up. It was the first time I stood. The smile on both of our faces was priceless. I looked up at Kayden, his face looked just as broken as mine.
"I should have protected you from them but you never let me. I'm sorry."
"Ok, I never regret having them focus on me, because that protected you. Do not be sorry."
I did what I always do when it comes to him, I pulled him into my lap and hugged him.
"I'm grateful I've got a sis like you but I wish that you didn't have to go through all of that for nine years."
Tears welled up in both of our eyes.
"You were worth it, ok? I couldn't let him beat the dreams out of you or the bitch make you feel like you are nothing. I hate Christine for leaving us in their care but I hate Brooke more for knowing how they were treating me and never coming back for us. That hurts more than the beatings I endured."
This is the first time that we actually talked about Brooke and our grandparents from hell.
"Ashley, they destroyed you. I don't even remember Brooke, but I remembered the first time he tried punching me for crying. You grabbed me and put yourself in harm's way. He went on you like a punching bag. After an hour, he got tired. You were crying. You told me that you loved me and you would never let them get to me."
I was crying hard now.
"I'd go through it all again for you."
We sat there crying until we calmed down. Then, through the silence and the faint sound of sniffles, Kayden's cell rang again.
"Hey Haley! Yeah, she is in LA. Calm down! She'll call you after she gets settled in."
He looked at me and mouthed, 'You up to talking to the beast?' I shook my head no.
"She's in the tub right now. I don't know when she'll be out. Hell no! I'm not disturbing her. GOODBYE!"
He picked the picture up off of the floor.
"I will keep this until you want it. Are you ok?"
I wiped my eyes.
"I'll be ok. Our past will always be with us. I need to let the scars start to heal, but right now I'm not ready."
I looked around to get familiar.
"You should see your bathroom before you dive onto Buffy."
I had to laugh.
"Is that the door over there?"
He nodded and walked into the bathroom. I was starting to feel drained. My bed was looking really comfortable right about then, but I had to see the bathroom. As soon I wheeled in, I saw Kayden taking down the camera.
"I know you wouldn't use the bathroom until I took it down."
Hell, this was the biggest bathroom I had ever saw! My bathtub was a Jacuzzi tub. My eyes wandered over to the shower that had a bench hooked to the wall.
"Wow!" I said. "If I wasn't so tired, I would test the tub."
He had a huge grin on his face.
"I told Mike to make sure he hired the best contractors that know about making things handicap accessible. You should thank him, he was the brains behind all of this. I only gave my input."
"Tomorrow I will. Can I sleep yet?"
"Want me to get you your bag?"
I shook my head no.
"I'll change tomorrow. Bring down my crutches and set them on the right side of my bed, please. Just in case I need to get up while you have my chair."
He was still working on the camera. So I went back into my room and got my chair in a spot so that I could comfortably transfer onto my bed. Just as I was about to get into bed, I heard the doorbell ring.
"I'll get it, ok?"
I raced to the door.
"I've got a package for Ashley Davies."
I punched in my I-Pad what I wanted to say.
"I'm Ashley, and just sit the box on the side of the stairs."
I pointed to where I wanted it. While I signed my name, the delivery guy was trying to avoid looking at my chair. I pulled out a ten dollar bill.
"No need to pay me Ma'am."
"I know sir, but you are one of the rare ones. Take this for being nice."
He hesitated to take the money.
"Have a nice night."
I smiled and closed the door. I put my I-Pad back in its place. I went back to the same place I was before the UPS delivery.
"Ok, there's a box next to the stairs that needs to be carried upstairs into my room."
I finally got into my bed. Before I laid down, I took off my Air Jordans and plugged in my cell.
"Ok! All set! Your bathroom is camera free. So now I'll work on your chair. Do you want me put it back where you have it?"
"Thanks, as long as I have my crutches, you can put my wheelchair anywhere in my room."
He got in my chair.
"Ok, goodnight sis. I won't forget to put your crutches by your bed."
As soon as my head hit the pillow, I passed out.