"You ever wonder if Jimmy and his Vulcan have fucked in the Captain's chair?"

"Not really, no." Uhura flipped the page of the antique book she was reading, unperturbed by Gaila's question. Rooming with her for four years had had desensitized her just about any and everything the green-skinned woman would throw her way.

"Aww, come on Nytoa," she whined, flopping down on the bed next to her former roommate and poking out her lower lip in a pout. "I'm bored. Gossip with me."

"No thanks."

"Ugh, you're no fun. As boring as ever."

"Mhm." Uhura ignored the other woman, too engrossed in her book to pay her any attention.

"You know," Gaila said, her tone changing from that of pouting to mischievous, "I once blew Jimmy in that chair."

Uhura felt her eyebrow rise in spite of her determination to ignore Gaila.

"It was the first night on the ship. He managed to short out the cameras for an hour or so, and we had all sorts of fun in that chair."

Looking up from her book, Uhura was greeted with the sight of Gaila grinning lasciviously at the memory.

"What's the craziest thing you've done, Nytoa? Have you ever fucked someone out in public?"

Going against her better judgement, Uhura shut her book and set it down, debating on actually answering Gaila's question.

"Montgomery and I once had sex in the engine room."

The way Gaila's eyes lit up immediately made her regret answering the question.

"Really? Nytoa, you little mix! I never knew you had it in you!"

"I was…quite drunk," she muttered, feeling her face heating up. The memory came flooding back to her, and she was honestly amazed that they had managed to get away without being caught, what with the way the engineering ensigns wandered around the ship like they owned the place.

"That's still fucking awesome," she replied, grinning. "What else have you done that I don't know about?"

Feeling her face heat up once again, Uhura confessed, "I brought Spock back to our dorm at the Academy. You were out with Jim and his friends, and. Well."

"You managed to bang Spock?" she asked, incredulous.

Uhura nodded.

"How in the hell did you do that? I tried for months to win him over, and I never got so much as a once-over!"

"Spock's not won over by physical means, Gaila. And no, I'm not going to tell you how I managed to bed him so you can go try to snatch him away from Jim."

"Who said anything about taking him? Maybe I could talk them into a threesome? God, that would be so fucking hot."

"If you say so."

"I do say so. So who else that I know?"

"I'm not sharing this with you."

"Oh come on!"

"No."

"Please?"

"No." Uhura picked up her book, signaling that she was done with the conversation.

"If I tell you about the time I took Doctor McCoy to bed, will you tell me about fucking Spock?"

Uhura immediately put her book back down; it was her turn to stare at Gaila incredulously.

"You got Leonard to go to bed with you? Just how in the hell did that happen? I always thought he and Christine were an item."

"Oh, quite the opposite." Gaila flashed her the same lascivious grin as before, sitting up and flicking her tongue over her lips. "Christine's into the ladies. Especially those with blonde hair in ridiculous beehive shapes."

"Seriously?" Uhura set her book off to the side, turning her full attention to Gaila now. She'd always wondered about Christine and Leonard, and found herself listening despite her dislike of gossip.

"Yep! Yours truly helped set up that date. It was so cute. Christine was all blushing and embarrassed, and Janice was so sweet about it. They've been dating for five months now."

"Wow. Never would have guessed."

"Mhm."

"And what about Leonard?"

"Oh, Doctor McCoy? He was easy the first time around; I found him walking back to his quarters, reeking of alcohol. Turns out, he and Pavel had had a drinking contest, egged on by Hikaru and Jimmy, and was looking for some fun. The second time was harder. He's hard to win over, but once you figure out the way to seduce him, it's easy enough. The third, fourth, and fifth times were simply a matter of approaching him at the right time in the Sick Bay."

Uhura blinked, shaking her head. She had always thought of herself as a perceptive person, but apparently she was wrong.

"So are you two a regular…thing?"

"Mmm, more or less. From what I've heard, he and Jimmy and Spock are getting close, though. My services aren't needed quite as often."

"Okay, just what else am I missing on this ship?"

"Oh, let me tell you!"

With a gleeful grin, Gaila launched into an explanation of the relationships of the crew, while Uhura settled back against the headboard to listen.