"Vulcan's aren't seduced by physical means, Lenny. My pheremones don't work on him, either."
Leonard grumped at Gaila's nickname for him, scowling at the wall as she dug her fingers into his scalp. He'd subjected himself to her grooming ritual only so he could better learn how to win the object of his affections, Spock, over. Gaila was the only person he could think of who wouldn't laugh in his face when he asked for help on how to seduce the stoic Vulcan.
"Then how in the hell do you seduce one?"
"Well, there's logic, of course."
"Of course," Leonard grumbled, leaning into her hands a little bit.
"But with Spock, he's got a sentimental side, whether or not he wants to admit it."
"Never would have guessed," he muttered, flinching when Gaila tugged on his hair.
"He's also more susceptible to touches than you'd think."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, he's a touch telepath, for one. So whenever you touch him, he can pick up on what you're feeling. His hands are especially sensitive."
"Now that I knew," Leonard replied, glancing down at his own hands; rough, tanned, and calloused from years of working on his family's farm, they were the hands of a man who'd done his fair share of hard work. They were coarse, and Leonard took a moment to imagine how they'd look wrapped around the thin, delicate fingers of Spock's hands, his pale skin contrasting starkly with Leonard's tanned skin.
"Have you ever seen a Vulcan kiss?"
Gaila's fingers left his aburn hair and reached down for one of Leonard's hands. Lifting it, she curled the last three fingers and his thumb down, and pressed his index and middle fingers together. Satisfied with the position of his hand, she mimicked the gesture and stroked her two fingers over his own. A shiver went down Leonard's spine at the sensation; it was more erotic than he'd imagined it would be.
"They don't usually kiss on the mouth. This is more intimate for them. But Spock'll do both."
"Hold on a second. Why do you know this?"
Leonard felt, rather than saw, the grin Gaila was leveling at the back of his head.
"Personal experience," she replied, petting his hair.
"Shoulda fucking known," he snarled, angrier than he had a right to be.
"Oh, calm down. It was well over a year ago. Do you want my help or not?"
Grumbling, Leonard nodded.
"All right. He's not going to go for your typical date night, first off. Invite him over to play chess. Or to discuss something science-y."
"We're assuming he'll even go for it in the first place."
"Just tell him you want to make amends for all the arguing you two do. You'd like to become friends. Some shit like that. He'll eat it up, promise."
"Whatever you say."
"Now, you can't antagonize him too much on the first date. But do touch him. Only once or twice, though. Keep it minimal, but make sure you're thinking about him when you touch him."
Leonard nodded, suddenly starting to feel a bit apprehensive about all of this. What if Spock declined the invitation? Or already had plans with Jim? Leonard was beginning to think that the two were closer than they let on, which made this all the more nerve-wracking.
"And if you feel the need for a little help, chocolate gets Vulcans drunk."
A groan escaped Leonard at Gaila's comment.
"I am not getting him drunk on the first date."
"I'm just saying. It could help." Pressing a kiss to the back of his head, Gaila stood up, grinning cheekily. She helped Leonard up and patted him on the shoulder.
"Now, go get him."
"I hate you sometimes."
"Mhm. Oh, and Lenny?"
"His hands are really sensitive. As in, stroking them is the equivalent to stroking his-"
"Got it. Thanks."
Leonard hurried out of her quarters before she could say anything else as awkward as her parting comment. He made his way to the bridge, where he knew Spock would be, heart pounding louder in his ears with each step he took.
Two weeks later, as he and Spock were lying in bed together, Leonard made a mental note to send Gaila a thank you bottle of whiskey.