So I says to myself one day, "why the F-berries are there no ATLAS and P-body fanfics?" then I become disgusted with myself for asking such a question. Fanfics were for when I was in the middle school, watching Cyborg 009. And wanting more. Much more. (shudders) Not for now when I am in the Colleges. I make myself sick.
To those out there who are around my age and do partake in such things, good job. You have maintained yourselves and have not lost sanity. (also, I'm sure you are much better writers than I am) Please ignore my angst. And hipocracy. And horsedoodles.
Rated for mostly my own swearing.
Aperature Science laboratories was a massive building. So massive that the preceding sentence should be deleted, as it does not do descriptive justice. The facility even decided to break all holds on "massive" and confine itself underground. How far underground? Only AS would know.
As much as GLaDOS liked the wealth of space AS contained, when it comes to finding the very test subjects one set out to do tests, it kinda sucked. And for the life of Her, GLaDOS thought she knew everything there was to know about this facility. She also thought she knew the very nature of her two co-operative test subjects, [subject name] and [subject name]. Hmm… She would fix that name problem soon. Her concern right now would be finding out where the two went.
They couldn't have gotten far. She only turned her circuitry for a nanosecond and the two were gone. She wasn't even sure how in the world it happened. They disappeared in her own room. She wasn't even quite sure how it was physically possible. The only thing left of them was the fat blue one's portal, which shimmered a light blue, indicating unuse.
The massive robotic body suspended from the ceiling, hung by wires and other machinery. Her body still creaked from the time of…she would rather not recall. She craned her bulky body around, giving the room another clean sweep. Nothing. She searched her electronic signal radars. Nothing. She activated the built-in explosives and waited for the sound of bursting robotic parts. Nothing still. She switched on all the working camera feeds and decided to look manually for them. Nothing, only this time due to the maintenance bots having neglected their jobs. She would fix that soon as well. She sighed irritably.
Yes, she had The Itch too, but unlike a certain [word discarded], she would not be controlled, and she would remain calm, even though she had no test subjects. And the machine that builds them only does so when they "die." If they were indeed "dead," then the machine was not doing its job. And she had no test subjects.
She paused thoughtfully. There were so many things around the laboratory that needed "fixing." She was going to have her hands(?) full.
She would worry about the two robots later. They, like her, were trapped in the vastness of the Aperature science building with no way out. Unlike a certain pair of troublemakers who were long gone by now… GLaDOS swung her massive body around again, almost as if hoping they would be standing there, looking idiotic and tangible.
They were not.
Passive-aggressive anger welled up inside of her.
Fine. She could play at that.
[Orange has been deducted 1,000 aperature science collaboration points]
[Blue has been deducted 5,000 aperature science collaboration points]
There. That would show them.
She decided to leave the portal there. Wherever they were, they would likely use that to come back. She hoped, menacingly.
GLaDOS wandered off in search of things to "fix." Wherever the two of them were, they had better have been doing science.
As a matter of fact, the two of them, Atlas and P-body, were not at all doing science. Not quite. And in GLaDOS's search of her own room, she had neglected to look up and see the giant gaping hole showing the moon to where the duo had escaped.
They floated in space, wondering how it all even happened. It just went so fast. One bet involving the moon, portals, and GLaDOS's room later, and they were sucked out into the void of space, with their way back gone, due to the flailing of limbs and misdirected portal shots. Nonetheless, they had been there for quite some time in front of the moon, drifting slowly away.
P-body narrowed her eye at her masculine companion. Not that it was entirely his fault, but he did his fair share of screwing them both over. Her metallic stick-like arms crossed over her peapod-shaped body, a single orange eye glaring intently.
A blue eye glared back. Its owner was what looked like a silver sphere attached to a network of wires and various metallic strips composing his limbs. With a blue eye. He arranged his arms so that his hands rested on what "hips" he had. He sighed inaudibly in response to her glare. Sure, he was the one who made the bet in the first place (and put science points on the line for it, dammit), but he wasn't the one to actually do it. Atlas continued to glare.
P-body floated sideways a bit, before becoming more disgruntled. Stupid science points. Stupid Atlas. If she wasn't worried about the frictionless nature of the space they were floating in, she would have ripped off Atlas's body-piece and flung it. She never should have bet that there was no way a portal could make it to the moon. Especially from earth. Now she was down her science points and she and Atlas were stuck in space. Great.
She beeped at Atlas with a series of computerized noises, telling him that if they ever made it back, she would be sure to dismantle him before GLaDOS got the chance to. These noises were not heard, however, due to space being space-y. She switched on her built-in radio to communicate (read: bitch) more productively.
Atlas rolled his eye and shrugged. Whatever. They could get back.
P-body's glare intensified. How? Both their portal devices were launched out into space faster than they were. She saw no way to get them back, either. What would they do now? Go back through the portal she had placed? Oh that's right. Atlas broke that too. Burn up in Earth's atmosphere? P-body doubted they would come back from that. Drift endlessly in space for all time? That's probably going to be the ONLY thing they do, unless space debris beats the circuits out of them.
Atlas watched his companion describe their situation with furious movements. She was pissed, and as GLaDOS would have put it, like a human. His thoughts drifted. He wondered why GLaDOS hated them so… The only things she ever told them were vague and deleted before explaining. He wondered what the human that took her down looked like.
Noticing Atlas's absolute lack of attention on the present situation drove her off the deep end. She dove at Atlas, ready to rip his stupid face from his body in a vicious manner.
Atlas, sensing impending doom, did his best to roll out of the way. He did not try hard enough, as P-body still collided with him and sent them both spiraling away from the moon.
Great! Now any chance they DID have on returning was now moving away from them at an alarming rate. Atlas glowered at P-body, who in turn glowered back.
But, P-body, regaining herself, let go of his face/body and held onto his shoulder to keep them from drifting apart. If they were going to get anywhere or do anything, it would have to be as a team. They had been through so much already as a unit, now was not the time to bicker endlessly to themselves until they slowly deactivated.
Atlas settled down as well. It might have been partially his fault for egging her on, but they were…friends….so they needed to stick together.
Both thought long and hard on any idea they could use to get back to the lab. Minutes went by, and turned into hours.
Finally, Atlas let out a sigh that would have been heard, if not for the vacuum of space and the lack of any source of air to send through his conditioning unit. Without a portal device, not much could be done. Even WITH a portal device, there was a doubt they could get close enough to the moon to use it. And how could they get back to earth from space? It's not like they could just pop a portal onto the earth's crust from the moon and presto! Be home.
Both Atlas and P-body exchanged tired and worried looks.
Silence, via radio, was silent yet again, and would have stayed that way unless another signal hadn't been picked up right then and there.
Both perked up, straining to get a better "listen."
They glanced at each other. It was a soft, and fuzzy noise at first. It began to get louder and louder until-
In case you haven't noticed, Dialogue and I aren't very close.
I'm not actually planning on a romance between Atlas and P-body, unless I learn to write that kind of stuff better. Or am supported. By my peeps.
Another note! I honestly don't care whether you review. I just want to know that this asinine piece of Horseshit has actually been read. And if it has, seek therapy.
But if there are any reviews, it'd be nice if they could help me out by pointing out any plot holes. I do so hate those very much.