I do not own Harry Potter, if I did Harry would never had married Ginny! ;)

Bonjour mon amis! J'ai été disparu pour un moment, non? Dear guest I am most amused that you bothered to review with you infantile response. I am most certainly not suicidal and if I was I certainly wouldn't bother writing when I could be killing myself. ;) Plus I am an author! The characters listen to me! I despair of your use of the English language too, my English sucks but I have an excuse! :D For all my POSITIVE reviewers, thank you all for your admiration and encouragement, this update is for my first mystery guest reviewer who I actually know from Pottermore. Enjoy my friend!

Ways to Annoy Albus Dumbledore

Steal his lemon drops

Tell everyone that his eye twinkle was really a candle being lit behind them

Wear long purple robes with yellow bananas and a big hat and fake beard and tell him you want to be just like him one day.

Tell him he became headmaster because he had good looks then give him a once over and laugh hysterically

Repeatedly ask if he ever tips over his beard or robes and act as if you forget the answer every five minutes

Glue feathers to his ears and encourage him to fly

Take him skinny dipping

Smile insanely and if he asks you about it say "Your mummy dresses you funny!"

Give him dread locks

Steal his hat and tie-dye it in a horrible orange and green combo

Wear a crown and declare yourself Emperor of Hogwarts and bribe first years to believe you

When you leave the room grab your broom and yell "to the batmobile!"

Replace his lemon drops with vomit flavoured bertie botts

Draw a moustache on his gargoyle

Offer to roast Fawkes for supper

Shave him completely bald and hide all hair potions and hats

Duel him and shout "may the force be with me!"

Steal his fluffy socks and replace them with Dobbys thin, holey socks!

Tell him McGonagall could do better than him

Place a hammer on his desk during the staff meeting and assure everyone that it is to ensure loyalty. Glare pointedly at Snape.

Tell him Gandalf rocked the beard better

Plait his beard with his shoe lace while he is sitting at his desk in a meeting

Laugh hysterically when he stands up and falls on his face

Avoid all attempts at capture

Yell in Snapes ear "You'll never take me alive!"

Hide behind Dumbledore when Snape fires a nasty curse

Giggle feebly when you look at crispy-fried Dumbledore

Have an argument about something where you are in the wrong; 12+45 is 189 etc.

Give him prunes and lock all the bathrooms; steal his wand so he cannot open them.

Ask why he can't ride eagles off the enemies tower

Tell him all about L'Oreal hair dye

Fell offended when he refuses to use them

Spitefully dye his hair red

Deny involvement when he accuses you

Frame Harry Potter for it

Enlarge his glasses

Tell him he looks good in the nerdy giant glasses

Act insane and contradict him with everything: "the sky is not blue it is green, the ground is blue silly!"

AN Hey! I had a good time writing this although I admit it is the worst yet, it is hard to irritate Dumbledore. Special thanks to my pal from Pottermore, StormRune1505

Lestat Lebrat