Russia/Lithuania for a request.

... I sort of think I failed on this one, guys. Russia/Lithuania screws up Russia/China and Poland/Lithuania, two ships I like, so I sort of had to work around that, because I think that R/L is sort of abusive. Nofence all R/L shippers, and I hope you like this, but when I read R/L, I like angst. Looots of angst. :]

So tell me how I did, s'il vous plait?

Also, very important:

I have finals and therefore will not be updating for a week/three days [Sunday night upload, probably].


The nice boyfriend hugs you.

My idiot boyfriend plays Russian Roulette with me.


The nice boyfriend takes you out to nice places.

My idiot boyfriend has me cook for him every single night.


The nice boyfriend introduces you to your family.

My idiot boyfriend only pointed his sister out to me when I was running for my life because she was trying to stab me.


The nice boyfriend helps you give your little cousin the Talk.

My idiot boyfriend brought his pipe. And a gun. And a lot of other stuff that I didn't even recognize. I recognized the maid outfit, though.


The nice boyfriend writes you love letters.

My idiot boyfriend sent me a chain mail message that my friend started.


The nice boyfriend sleeps with you.

My idiot boyfriend makes me sleep in a small room with my cousins.


The nice boyfriend gives you a sweet nickname.

My idiot boyfriend calls me his "ho".


The nice boyfriend gets you chocolate or a card for Valentine's Day.

My idiot boyfriend stuck some sunflowers into his pipe and went to beat up my friend as my Valentine's Day gift.


The nice boyfriend is polite to your friends.

My idiot boyfriend hates two of my friends – the big dumb one and the not-as-big dumb one – and bosses around my cousins.


The nice boyfriend dresses nicely.

My idiot boyfriend only has two choices of outfits – really, really plain or horribly flashy. If I say anything about this, he freaks out and starts chanting.


The nice boyfriend is on time for dates.

My idiot boyfriend vanished because he was called up by a really incompetent wizard who was trying to summon a demon.


The nice boyfriend respects your boundaries.

My idiot boyfriend is perfectly fine with making out in front of people ("They already know, da? After all, you have such lovely marks on your neck") and was trying to get to second base. In public. In broad daylight. In front of my younger cousin.


The nice boyfriend plays with your younger cousin when you have paperwork.

My idiot boyfriend thinks that Russian Roulette is an acceptable game.


The nice boyfriend lets you borrow his coat when it's cold out.

My idiot boyfriend decided that we could both wear the coat


The nice boyfriend doesn't let you get too drunk.

My idiot boyfriend paid my friend to videotape what I did, and then poured me more than twice of what I could handle.


The nice boyfriend proposes romantically.

My idiot boyfriend asked me to "become one". He had his pipe out, so there was no way I was going to say no.

Not that I would have said no in the first place.