This is going to be fun! XD

So, basically, this is based off an entire text message role play between a friend and me. I'm Spain, and she's Romano (the best Romano ever!). We actually do this all the time, but this time, it was too epic for me not to do something about it, so she recommended that I write it into an actually story.

Best. Idea. EVER.

So, here was are. I hope you enjoy this as much as we enjoyed it! XD

Disclaimer: Hetalia is not mine... no matter how much I kick and scream and cry... :(

Romano huffed and crossed his arms, turning away from the annoying nation in front of him, who was pouting dramatically.

"But… why, Romano?" Spain whined.

"Because I don't care, you fucking moron," the smaller Italian country snapped.

Behind his back, Romano didn't see the Spaniard grin suddenly and produce a tomato from seemingly nowhere. All that the auburn haired nation was aware of was that there was suddenly a round, red fruit in his vision.

"Do you care now, Romano?" Spain asked, smiling as he waved the tomato in front of the smaller man.

Romano had difficulty not following the red deliciousness. Instead, he shifted his eye back and forth, trying to look anywhere besides the tomato. "… No…." he said, uncertainty clinging to his voice.

Spain continued to wave the tomato back and forth, grinning like an idiot. He said nothing.

Romano tried to look past the tomato, but gave up when the temptation became too much. He suddenly jumped up, trying to grab the fruit from the other. "Give that to me, dammit!"

The Spaniard reached up, keeping the tomato out of the smaller nation's reach. "Oh, Romano, you're so cute when you're angry!" he cried grinning, face scrunching up into a stupid smile.

"Give me the fucking tomato, you bastard, or I'm going to my brother's place!" Romano snapped, resisting the urge to jump up again to try to get the offending fruit. If he couldn't reach it physically, then he'd have to manipulate the Spaniard to get the stupid tomato.

However, his plan immediately backfired when Spain's face lit up even more. "Oh! You can bring Italy here too! He'll like my tomatoes!" His grin grew wider.

Romano gaped for a total of two seconds before rage boiled up inside. "I'd rather go to the potato bastards house than bring Italy here, you fucking pedophile!" Of course, he had every right to be worried. Spain was a freaking pedobear for fuck's sake!

Spain looked momentarily confused. "Huh? Why would you want to go to Germanys…?" Romano could almost see a light bulb suddenly go off above the brunette's head. Unfortunately, it wasn't the correct conclusion that was supposed to have been. "OH! I'll come with you! Maybe Prussia and I can find France and go out drinking!"

Romano mentally facepalmed. "You can go. I'll just go to my house to stay away from all you fucking pervs… " He thought for a moment. "I'm locking everything too so you cant sneak in when you're wasted," he added as an afterthought.

Spain frowned sadly. "Why do you hate me, Romano? All I ever do is give you tomatoes and raise you and take care of you and love you…" And then the idiot began to cry.

Romano's face softened, but he quickly covered it up, glaring at the taller man. "…Stop fucking crying, you pussy…" When Spain's tears refused to stop, the Italian felt his chest constrict painfully. "Or ill start crying too…" he said softly.

The brunette man turned away from Romano. "But you hate me… " A choked sob escaped his mouth.

Romano sighed and uncrossed his arms. "I don't exactly HATE you…" he murmured. "You mostly annoy the fuck out of me."

Spain glanced over at his former charge. "So… you don't hate me…?" he asked.

Romano rolled his eyes. "God, you're so fucking stupid."

Spain let out a loud wail, causing Romano to jump in fright. "So you DO hate me!"

Romano sighed in annoyance. See, this is what he meant. "…I never said that…" he grumbled. "But you are fucking stupid."

Spain sniffled. "But you're always so mean to me…"

Romano glared, though it held hardly any malice. God, this man could bring out the worst feelings in him. He had to do something to diffuse this situation before it got out of hand and Spain did something stupid. "Think about it, moron, am I nice to anyone?" he snapped.

Spain paused and thought about it for a minute. "… No… " he said. "But you're always the worst to me… why, Romano?" he frowned again as a few more tears streaked down his face.

Romano actually did facepalm this time. "Who do you live with?" he cried. "... Fucking moron…" he murmured.

Spain's head popped up. "That's true!" he cried, a small grin adorning his face. Romano's heart fluttered. "You do live with me…" the brunette murmured to himself.

"…You're still a moron…" Romano muttered, looking away.

The taller nation suddenly looked hopeful. "But I'm your moron… right?" he asked, eyes wide.

Romano grimaced and refused to look at the other. "…Don't make me say it, tomato bastard…"

Spain grinned. "Say what, Romano?"

The Italian nation blushed. "I guess you're my moron…." He muttered, then promptly passed out.

Spain panicked. "ROMANO!" he cried, running over and kneeling next to the younger man. "Romano!" he yelled again, shaking the other frantically. "I love you, Romano! Don't leave meeeeee!" he wailed.

Romano remained dead.

Spain looked up into the sky, Romano lying in his arms, tears rolling down his face. "¿ ¿ ¿ POR QUE?" he screamed dramatically.

"That's what you get for making me say embarrassing things, asshole," said an annoyed voice.

The Spaniard looked down at the nation in his arms. "Romano?" he asked, disbelief on his face. " YOU'RE ALIVE!" he cried, happily.

"Unfortunately…" Romano grumbled. Dammit, why couldn't he just stay dead? Damn him being a nation!

Spain snuggled Romano. "Oh, Romano! I was so worried!"

Romano pushed the annoying man away. "…Stop smothering me, idiot."

The taller nation refused to budge. "But you almost died! I almost lost my little tomato!"

Romano's anger returned. Damn this idiot! "That's it. I'm going to Veneziano's."

Spain's face brightened. "Oh! I want to see Italy too! I'll come with you!" he jumped up, and Romano nearly cracked his head on the ground. He fumed.

"Fuck no," he protested. "You always pay more attention to him than me…"

Spain was not listening, however. Instead, he was gathering a box of tomatoes together to take to Italy's house. "Do you think I should bring some churros too?" he asked.

Romano sputtered. "…Why do I even try?"

The other nation looked up. "Hey, Romano? Do you think Italy will like pollo?"

Romano glared at the oblivious nation. "Who doesn't like chicken?" He thought for a moment. "Why the hell am I answering your stupid questions?"

The other grinned. " 'Cause you looooove me." Spain waggled his eyebrows.

The Italian blushed ridiculously. "Fuck you!"

Spain's grin grew wider. "Yes, please!"

Romano had it. "That's it!" he cried. "I'm going to my brother's house by myself! Fucking pervert pedophile…" he turned to leave but Spain's hand shot out to grab hold of his arm and held him fast.

"I think Italy can wait a few hours," the taller nation smirked.

Romano paused for a moment. "…If you let me go now, I'll come back early…" he said, trying to manipulate the other into letting him go.

It backfired when Spain flung him over his shoulder and began to walk back to the house. "Nope," he grinned. "Ahora!"

Romano kicked his legs and pounded the idiot's back with his fists. "Put me down you fucking bastard!" he screamed, face red from anger.

Spain continued walking. "Nope," he said.

"I'll pass out and die again!" Romano warned, trying anything to get away from the stupid bastard.

Spain smirked. "Oh, you'll pass out, alright," he promised.

Romano sighed. "…Fine…" He fell limp on the other's shoulder. "… I give up."

Spain pat Romano's butt gently in affection "That's my little tomato," he grinned happily.

Seriously, this went on for over an hour through text messaging. We're perfect for the two countries XD. No hesitation what-so-ever.

Basically, my plans for this story is a collection of oneshots that revolve around the dialogue between my friend and I. It should be fun! XD