Rating: K+

Warnings: Violence against Vehicles, mild language

Verse: Bayverse (non FS/HOTF)

Characters: Chromia, Ironhide, unimportant oc

Summary: One-shot bunny that wouldn't die. Take a possessive femme's threats very seriously




"Play it again."

"I have played this three times now. Can't you just record it in your data banks or whatever and play it back later?"

The femmebot narrowed her optics at him, and her facial plates turned downward in a scowl. "No. I need to learn the vocal modulations. If I record it, then it is just a recording. Play."

Corporal Franks rolled his eyes and shuffled through the iPod looking for the song he didn't even care for, his girlfriend had loaded it during a fight they had. She liked angry chick music.

Fiddling with the settings, he found what Chromia wanted and tapped the play icon. Music filtered through a set of tiny, portable speakers sitting next to him on the hood of the Humvee.

The femme crouched lower, her head cocked to the side and her audio receptors only a foot from the sound. Her head nodded in time with the beat.

Franks sighed and lay against the vehicle's windshield, stretching his legs along the warm metal. Crossing his hands over his stomach, he relaxed on the truck's hood, enjoying the three minutes that the song played.

On the last notes, Chromia rose up, her metallic face only inches from his. "Play it again."

"Seriously?" he asked. "You are going the wear out that track." He reached over to reload the song.

"Seriously." She responded, her voice dead panned and solemn. "In the time it would take you to 'wear out' digitally recorded media, your children's children would have their own offspring. Play it."

"I'm getting there." He grumbled, and decided that as soon as he could, he would remove this song from his iPod.

He started it over and this time the femme moved her mouth components, lip- sinking the words.

He mumbled to himself, "So Corporal, what did you do today for the good of the cause and the protection of America? Oh, I sat on a truck and played Carrie Underwood for an alien robot until my ears bled."


Play it again?"

Haunting blue optics stared at him. "Yes."

He reloaded the song, and then paused. He shifted his legs and sat up, returning the femme's inscrutable gaze. "Why do you like this song? I would think that the lyrics would offend you or something."

Her mouth components crooked into a knowing and cruel smile. "I admire the strength and vindictive viciousness of the human female. It is a pity that the males of your world have kept then in subjugation, I theorize that your planet would be a very different place if humanity had allowed the females to rule."

Franks frowned at the feminist Autobot. "You are so not meeting my girlfriend, and I am so not touching that argument."

Chromia snorted. "Then you are a smart male that knows his place." She gave him a wicked smile.

Before Franks could retort, Chromia straightened and whipped her head around to look over her shoulder. "Fraggit! Forward the song to two minutes and twenty-seven seconds. When I signal play it."

"You are becoming pretty damn demanding."

She turned back around and snarled, "Just do it."

The ground vibrated with the heavy footfalls of one of the big mechs. An ominous thump - thump - thump sent chills up Franks' spine.

In the back of his mind, he knew that he could just crawl into his Humvee and leave, but insatiable curiosity won out, and if nothing else, he might have one helluva story to tell during mess. Assigned to the Autobot base had some perks that didn't involve pay or promotion. He forwarded the track as directed and waited.

Chromia laid her hand on the side of his truck and pushed herself upright, balancing on her single wheel. She spun around and waited, casually draping a hand delicately along the vehicle's roofline.

The heavy footfalls came closer. Ironhide appeared from between two buildings, his dark mass blocking the evening lighting and plunging Franks and Chromia into a deep shadow.

"Hello, Ironhide." A dangerous purr rode on Chromia's greeting.

The huge mech stopped and stared. The air around the Autobots grew heavy with tension, and the hair stood up on Franks' arms.

The femme slipped away from the Humvee and slowly rolled towards the black mech, her torso and arms swayed in serpentine seduction. She waved a hand at Franks.

He blinked, enchanted by the femme's motions. Some Marine he was, couldn't even remember his job. With sheepish embarrassment, he tapped the play icon.

As Chromia laid a hand on Ironhide, a soulful drawl oozed out to the speakers, barely loud enough to cover the distance to the two Cybertronians. The femme sang along, her voice clear and powerful. Raw emotions filled the air.

"Cause I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive. Carved my name into his leather seats. I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights, slashed a hole in all four tires. Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats. Oh maybe next time he'll think before he cheats."

As the song faded Chromia turned and rolled away, disappearing into the shadows that pooled between the buildings.

Ironhide turned his head towards the Corporal, his optics opened wide in blatant fear.

Franks just shrugged; he did not want to know.


A/N: lyrics are from Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood.