Author's Note: After listening to way too many inappropriate songs inspiration hit and so I just had to write this. Please enjoy and review!

Draco was walking by the lake, humming a song to himself, hands in his pockets and scarf carelessly draped over his neck. The youngest Malfoy was in a good mood that day, all of his homework was done and it was only the end of Saturday so there wasn't any school tomorrow, yes today had definitely been a pretty good day. As Draco walked he suddenly came up short and a very devious smirk manifested itself upon his pretty face. A few feet away underneath one of the trees was Harry Potter, sprawled out on his stomach, a book, parchment and quill in front of him and even better asleep. This was to beautiful, Draco thought to himself as he approached the sleeping Gryffindork. He stood in front of Potter, sadistic smirk on his pale face and eyes roaming over the sleeping young man. What to do, what to do, Draco contemplated and then the most deliciously, brilliantly perfect idea presented it to himself and he bent down, making sure not to snicker aloud so as not to wake the sleeping hero.


Harry woke up a little disoriented and it took him awhile to figure out where he was, but then he realized that he was still outside by the lake. He must have fallen asleep while trying to write his Charms essay; the black haired teenaged sat up with a yawn a stretched. The sun was beginning to set so he figured he should go put his stuff away before dinner started so that he wasn't late. He gathered all of his stuff into his bag and then headed back to his dormitories.

On his way to Gryffindor tower the students were staring at him, but more than usual. Half of them looked horrified and then the other half were busting out into uncontrollable laughter. Harry frowned, was there something in his hair? He self-consciously ran a hand through his messy locks but couldn't feel anything. Maybe someone had started another stupid rumor, yes that had to be it for there could be no other explanation as to how strangely the students of Hogwarts were re-acting.

He was almost to the tower when he passed by the Great Hall and he passed by by his least favorite Slytherin plus one, Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini. Strangely enough Malfoy didn't say anything to him but he did nudge Zabini and nod toward Harry. Harry tried walking faster when he heard Zabini burst out laughing.

"Oh Merlin you're fucking brilliant Malfoy!" Zabini

"Why thank you Zabini," Malfoy said in his cool voice, but very pleased.

Harry frowned, OK something was up and it was obviously Malfoy's doing. He hurried up to the common room where thankfully not many people were. He looked around for one of his friends and spotted Hermione.

"Hermione," he said walking over to her.

"Hello Harry, did you finish your Charms essay?"

"Um almost," Harry lied. "Uh Hermione is there something wrong with me?"

Hermione looked up from her book and gave Harry a once over. "No, why?"


But before Harry could explain there was a very loud and impressively manly shriek.


Harry and Hermione turned to see Ron, looking pale and horror-struck.

"What is it Ron?" Hermione asked, but Ron seemed incapable of speech, just incoherent, frightened babble.

"Harry turn around please," Hermione said.

Harry did as he was told and then Hermione gave an "oh" like that of a girl just recently discovering yaoi.

"What? What is it?" Harry asked concerned looking back.

"Um well, don't yell and don't go murder him," Hermione said.

"What did Malfoy do?" Harry demanding remembering what had happened on his way there.

"Well," Hermione said and reached over to grab something that was attached to Harry's bottom. "This was taped to your butt."

Harry paled as he read the bold, big and pretty handwriting on the parchment that had been attached to his arse. "I am going to fucking murder him," Harry snarled and left the common room, his two best friends trailing him, one trying to stop him from doing something illegal and the other still not recovered from chock, all three leaving behind the piece of parchment that very clearly said:


A/N: oh that was so much fun to write. Please review!