Title: Closet monster.

Rating: K.

Summary: Naruto fails at scaring Sasuke. "Seriously. The monster in my closet was scary when I was four. This is just awkward."

He swore he could hear a scratching in his closet. And it couldn't be his cat. No, his brother accidentally ran over Fluffykins Muffintooshie last week.

Silence passed over for a few moments.


Okay, this was a little unnerving at first. The idea something was in his closet. But now it was just annoying.

"Shut the fuck up." Sasuke hissed, throwing the TV remote at the closet door.


"Ow? It didn't even hit you, you're in the closet." Wait, did Sasuke's closet just talk? Did he just talk back?

He sincerely hoped this was just a bad dream. He did not handle mornings well, and this wake up call came five hours to early. At least.

After contemplating his situation for a few moments, the raven haired boy finally pushed his blankets off of him and trudged over to his closet.

"Pleasedon'tfindme. Pleasedon'tfindme. Pleasedon'tfindme."

Sasuke opened the door. Naruto fell out. Naruto looked up at Sasuke. Sasuke looked back.

Well... This was odd.

"Naruto, the monster in my closet was scary when I was four. This is just... awkward."

The blonde continued staring, trying to think of an excuse.

"Uh... Um..., I have pregnancy cramps!" He exclaimed, jumping to his feet and cradling his stomach.




"It's um... Sakura's?"

"..." Glare.

"Hinata's...?" Confused stare.

"Just get out."

Naruto slowly crawled back into the closet and closed the door.

Sasuke locked the closet and decided to go to his pink-haired girlfriends house for the night. And ask her how she had gotten Naruto pregnant.

Oooh. Ouch.

I think this failed more than poor Sasuke.