As soon as the idea had presented itself, The Doctor loved it straightaway – in fact he believed that it was quite ingenious. A way of getting rid of the bickering couple, but reconciling them at the same time, without him having to actually be there and get yelled at constantly by the feisty Scottish woman.
Amy had confused and bemused him ever since they had first met, that fateful night in 1996; the night where he ruined a young child's life. He didn't notice how late he had returned until it was literally too late. And then, she had actually forgiven him in exchange for a trip to the stars. For a while, they enjoyed each other's company, but when she had basically attacked him…with her lips, everything had changed. He had only ever wanted to be friends; he had lost too much to want to be like that with anyone else any time soon. He just wanted to make up for his mistakes, but she had made it so difficult for him. She had been so possessive of him that he had invited Rory along just so they wouldn't have to be alone with one another. But then, he had begun to comprehend that maybe it had been just harmless flirting. So he hadn't mentioned it again – he wasn't going to get in the way of another couple. And sometimes, even now, he felt so, so guilty for what he had done to Amy; he had tried to make her choose between him and the love of her life which he knew was not fair. But he wasn't going to compliment himself – something had always niggled at the back of his brain, saying she'll always pick him, she loves him.
And then there was Rory. He was a good guy and put up with a lot of shtick for the woman he loved. He was genuine and honest, albeit a bit clumsy. Sometimes he felt so bad for Rory. Scratch that, he always felt sorry for Rory. Amy was always cheaply flirting with The Doctor, like on the night of the Ponds marriage, Amy had asked for 'a snog in the shrubbery'. Rory had taken it light-heartedly, but The Doctor always suspected that Rory resented him for it.
Oh, and then there was Doctor Professor River Song; one of the most incredible women he had ever met. She had an intellect almost beyond him, she could fly the TARDIS properly, she made brilliant escapes, flirted incessantly like there was no tomorrow, and still managed to look stunning the entire time. Although he pretended otherwise, The Doctor loved how mysterious she was. She kept talking about how everything would change when he found out who she was – and he wasn't ready for that to happen yet. And he kind of liked her gun; he knew he shouldn't and he shouldn't keep encouraging her to use it as well, but she was so sexy and…sassy.
He loved to tease her back as well. When he had called her 'Mrs Robinson' he had almost made himself cry with laughter at her response.
And then, she had kissed him, totally out of the blue. He had, if he was totally honest, enjoyed it rather a lot and it had broken his hearts to have left her there, clutching at her cell bars. He had come to realize that they would be something one day, the two of them, together, would be something. That's why he picked her up again three days later.
He had only sent her with Rory and Amy so she could keep an eyes o them. They needed someone to protect them and she had a gun and common sense; she would be fine; although, he had paid the price already for the Ponds protection when River had punched him.
After he had beamed everyone to Oz, The Doctor had also travelled there, and set up a base inside the Emerald City. He had quickly gained the Munchkins trust with his "magic" and friendly manner. Plus, he had put on a green bowtie; how could anyone resist him?
And then, it had been a matter of playing the waiting game. By his calculations, they should have arrived three hours after he had dropped them off. Since then, seven and a half hours had passed and he wondered how did human beings do it? How did they just sit down and wait? It was so boring. But after the fifth hours, he began to get worried; extremely worried. So he had fiddled and jumbled up some wires and circuits to try and get some surveillance or just a map of where they were, but to no avail. He sat down again, but not before two hours and thirty minutes, a sudden thought struck him.
The Doctor ran into the TARDIS, grabbed some technical stuff and began assembling it. He was trying to build a portable alien scanner, in case something bad had happened to his friends. He heard the large oaken doors push open but did not bother turning around; it would be one of the sweet little Munchkins, offering tea again.
The voice and phrase made the hairs on the back of The Doctor's arms stand up. His heart prickled slightly and he turned around trying not to smile like a lovesick puppy.
River Song was wearing some sort of dress that was more like the length of a t-shirt. And she was showing off a pair of long, slim, perfectly tones legs.
'R-R-R-Riv-Riv…' he stuttered quickly, falling onto a desk and over his feet in shock. His cheeks turned the brightest shade of red imaginable. His brain turned to dust as she continued to walk up to him and he almost ran away. He smiled goofily and stared down at her legs again. He so badly wanted to grab her by the waist and kiss her sweet lips.
'Riv-Riv-er. How are you?' he asked in a timid voice, staring at her hips and thighs.
'My face is up here honey.' She said, almost sweetly, pulling The Doctor's chin up with her fingertip. He smiled embarrassedly, looking into her eyes but then…
SMACK. She slapped him shortly around the face, a sharp stinging and burning sensation running all over the left side of his face. That hurt a bloody lot.
'Don't dress me in something like this ever again.' She hissed violently, pointing her finger at him sternly and angrily.
He stumbled in pain, 'Wasn't me. Thanks to the person who did it though,' he murmured almost inaudibly, accidentally voicing his thoughts. He recoiled, waiting for another slap.
'Oh you know I can never resist you when you say stuff like that,' he heard a voice say, almost moaningly. All he understood after that was the fact that River Song was kissing him. She had her hand on the back of his neck and he, quickly coming to his senses, pulled their bodies closely together. Their lips were locked in a battle of superiority. His tongue was running all over her mouth and she sucked on his bottom lip seductively. Their lips moved against each other's and The Doctor's hand began to pull the hem of River's dress up. His fingers left a sizzling sensation on her upper thigh when they caressed over her soft skin. He began to place his hands on her lower back, pulling her dress up again, ever so slightly, when a loud, obvious coughing echoed off the walls.
'Excuse me, but aren't we kind of busy at the moment, well you two are already, but we have questions.' Amy yelled brashly across the hall, a look of disgust on her and her husband's face alike.
The Doctor kept one arm firmly around River's waist and turned to Amy,
'Amy, hello, are you alright, you good?' he said weakly, suppressed slightly of oxygen, 'and Rory, the Roman. Hello Rory,' He continued, waving slightly, 'and why do you have questions?' he asked ironically.
Rory dived headfirst into an explanation,
'Well, why are we all characters and in the Land of Oz?' he asked obviously, expecting The Doctor to know what he was going to ask.
He grinned widely, 'It's a team building exercise. Well a couple building exercise,' he corrected, noticing River Song glaring at him.
Amy nodded, 'Okay then. Second newsflash, Rory and River were attacked by Sontarans just before they found me.'
'You were attacked?' The Doctor yelled, staring directly at River Song and clutching her even closer to him.
'Yeah we were; but I got them all,' she murmured, pointing to the left side of her face where some of her blood was still new and sticky.
'Oh River, are you okay?' he asked lovingly, kissing the cut on her head and wiping away the blood with his thumb. He pulled her into a light protective hug and he stroked her hair. It was fine and beautiful and soft, it shined brighter than any star.
'Yeah, I'm fine. It was good, you should have seen it,' she whispered in his ear.
He smiled, she was so modest. But he then, ever so reluctantly, let go of her and clapped his hands together.
'So, Sontarans. How and why are there Sontarans in the Wizard of Oz?' he wondered aloud before running back into the TARDIS, beckoning for everyone to follow.
Rory quickly sprayed Amy with the remains of the oil as she had seized up again, and the three of them walked back into the TARDIS. Almost immediately, Amy turned back into a normal person and all of Rory's hay stuffed shirt disappeared. Amy raised her eyebrows questioningly,
'Why, and I'm not complaining here, have I changed back?'
The Doctor began explaining, 'When we're in the TARDIS, we're in a state of temporal grace. Everything reverts back to what it originally was and we can't be harmed. Whilst inside, we don't exist.'
The Ponds nodded, but River Song still looked blank, 'Then why am I still wearing this?'
The Doctor grinned, 'Well, I control the TARDIS and what it does or does not do.'
River smiled cheekily, 'Oh so I get to stay in this then?' she asked, displaying a look of innocence on her pretty face.
'Oh Doctor Song, you bad, bad girl,' he muttered in her ear when she came striding up to him.
'I do try,' she breathed.
Amy rolled her eyes and interrupted again, 'You two really need to cut down on the constant flirting; it's getting unhealthy. Anyway, Sontarans. What are they and what are they doing here?'
The Doctor opened his mouth to begin speaking, but River beat him to the chase,
'The Sontarans are a race of clones, bred specifically to fight in their war with the Rutans. It's been going on for hundreds and thousands of years. All they care about is victory. They only have one weakness, a probic vent in the back of their armour which feeds them.' She said, sounding like she was reading from a text book.
'Couldn't have put it better myself.'
'Thank you Sweetie.'
WHOOSH. WHOOSH. WHOOSH. WHOOSH.
The TARDIS materialized after The Doctor had typed in a biological search for Sontarans in the mainframe computer, finding out where the majority of them were; and it had led them here.
River Song exited the TARDIS first, The Doctor following reluctantly behind. Unfortunately for him, his future self must have told her how to get to the wardrobe, and so River had changed.
She was wearing tight, flattering jeans (tight enough to keep The Doctor's attention) and a tank top, murky green in colour. She had also tied her bouncing curls back and changed the ruby shoes for army boots. Man, she looked good, The Doctor thought, admiring her shape.
Amy and Rory followed, both shaking their heads at the levelling degree of sexual tension between the two people on front of them
'You know,' River began saying to The Doctor, who was locking the TARDIS door, 'you really shouldn't leave the brakes on; it hurts her.'
The Doctor was about to retort when Rory asked,
'Doctor, where exactly are we?'
'Well, according to the Wizard of Oz, this is the castle of the Wicked Witch.'
Amy stared. The bricks were mottle grey and clumps of moss were growing between them. The building itself was very grand and extraordinarily large. It was beautiful, in a kind of medieval gothic way. But there was something very wrong, where were all the people?
'Doctor, where is everyone?' Amy asked, voicing her concerns.
He pulled his sonic screwdriver from his breast pocket and started waving it about, the green light flashing continually and the high pitched squeal ricocheted off the stones.
'There is definitely a Sontaran here,' he murmured.
And then there was muffled shriek from very nearby.
'Amy!' Rory yelled, turning to his left and finding his wife gone, 'Amy's gone!' he shouted at The Doctor who had turned around in shock.
'What happened?' River asked, trying to regain an atmosphere of calm.
'She was just there and something clamped its hand around her mouth and then they just disappeared in like a flash.' Rory babbled.
River turned to face The Doctor, 'Transmat beam?' He nodded in agreement.
'Rory, go after her, look all over the to floor,' The Doctor explained hurriedly, 'Here take this,' he said, throwing his sonic screwdriver over to Rory, 'Don't lose it.'
Rory nodded solemnly and ran off into the darkness towards the castle after Amy.
'How are we supposed to get in now?' River snapped when Rory was out of earshot and gone. The Doctor grinned, a gun held in his hands.
'Oi, give me.' River said sternly mockingly. He chucked it to her and she, from about twenty metres away, blew the lock on the front doors off.
'Nice work.' He murmured, as he watched her blow invisible smoke off the top of her gun. He grabbed her hand and they scurried towards the front door when they entered, they quickly ran into some sort of small closet when they caught a glimpse of a helmeted Sontaran. It raised its gun when it thought it saw two people, but shook his head and carried on up another staircase.
'Phew,' The Doctor sighed heavily, 'That was close.'
'Yep, it's exciting isn't it?' River stated, pursing her lips together in a wild way.
He swooped in suddenly and kissed her on the lips. She began to squirm, trying to tell him they had to go find the Sontaran, but when his hands moved from her waist to his face, she gave in and kissed him back. Her lips were moist and soft, and they tasted just like peaches; he loved peaches. Her hands gripped the sides of his jacket and yanked him in closer to her, 'We really shouldn't,' she murmured in between kisses, 'we have to…go…help…the others.' She moaned as he planted kisses on her neck.
However, their very enjoyable snog-fest ended quickly when the door of their closet was burst open, leaving wake to a very angry Sontaran.
'I am Major Daän of the Seventh Sontaran Battle Fleet, Daän the destroyer. You are now my prisoners of war!'
Turns out, it was the Sontaran who had taken Amy, and was going to use her as bait. The Doctor, River and Amy had all been locked in a large study. They couldn't get out because the two things that would've aided them were out of action. Rory, who hadn't been captured yet, had The Doctor's sonic and River's gun was out of juice.
'So, how did you two manage to get captured?' Amy asked curiously after ten minutes of attempting to escape.
The Doctor and River Song exchanged a glance. River's lipstick (not hallucinogenic this time) was slightly smudged and was coating The Doctor's lips.
Amy sniggered, 'So, how are we going to get out of here?' River asked, seemingly bored.
'You are not going to!' Major Daän said, standing in the doorway and walking closer towards the three sat on the expensive deep red carpet.
'Why are you here?' The Doctor asked impatiently.
The Sontaran removed its helmet, and Amy gasped in shock, and began,
'There was a storm. A space-storm, what you humans might call a tornado, but only larger; much, much larger. Entire constellations were being caught up in it and I and seven others also fell. There were eleven of us, but now I am the only one left.' He said, glaring at River Song for the latter of his explanation.
'So you sent ten of your warriors out after my two friends?' The Doctor asked. The Sontaran nodded, before The Doctor asked, in what Amy thought was a slightly offended tone, 'Why did you not send any of them to deal with me?'
'You have not been identified as a threat,' Major Daän replied shortly, 'but there are legends on Sontar that talk of an Earth woman who travels through the skies and destroys worlds. A woman called River Song, she must be eliminated, and she is a dangerous threat.'
Daän raised his blaster and pointed it at River Song who stood and looked smug. Daän cocked his gun but River looked him in the eyes and said, 'Do you really want to do that?'
And for the first time in his 909 years, The Doctor saw a Sontaran show a trace of fear.
'Please Daän. I can help you leave. The storm had passed, you can leave.' The Doctor pleaded.
'No. This land is good. I can use it and the inhabitants for resources and slaves.' Daän said, scoffing The Doctor's words.
'You can't use the Munchkins as slaves. That's not fair!' Amy yelled.
'The moral injustice does not faze me. My ship must be repaired and they will do it, Halfling.'
The Doctor was standing by River Song, looking slightly afraid of her. if she could make a Sontaran quiver in its boots and a Dalek beg for mercy; she must be dangerous. And then, he had another brainwave,
'Daän, I challenge you to a duel. If I win, I will help you fix your ship and you have to leave. If you win, then I'll stop in another one of my eight ways.'
'Doctor, no you can't do that!' River yelled, running the four metres over to him, 'Doctor, you can't fight a Sontaran! They're ultimate fighting machines! You can't you're going to die!'
The Doctor turned to her, a kind of sad, lopsided smirk on his face, 'Look after Amy and Rory.'
Major Daän replied, 'If you wish. But know that you will never win, you will die! If you lose I will kill your friend!' he roared, pointing his gun at River Song
The Doctor wrenched a sword out of a coat of arms hanging, lopsided, on the floor. The Sontaran did also and the battle began.
They swung the long pieces of iron and clashed violently against one another. The Sontaran jabbed at his side and The Doctor jumped back and yelped. The blade in his hand felt cold and wrong, but he wasn't about the let River die on his watch. He raised the sword high in the room and then brought it clanging down to Earth, only to have it knocked out of his hands. He scrambled to pick it up, clashing violently against the Sontaran merciless attacks. The two swords clashed together, a huge ringing sound echoing off the hall walls. The Doctor clutched the sword tighter in his right hand and swiped at Daän, but he reflected it and jabbed The Doctor on the arm. He almost roared in pain and dropped the sword immediately.
The Sontaran pushed him to the ground and raised his sword up and brought it plunging down onto his chest cavity. But before he did, River yelled,
'Stop it now!'
The Sontaran laughed evilly and responded with, 'We had a deal, and we must uphold our honour.' He then slammed the sword down, but luckily, only centimetres from The Doctor's face, Major Daän collapsed and fell sideways and blacked out.
The Doctor jumped up, but very slowly, a tiny stream of blood pouring from his waist. River ran over to him and put an arm around his shoulders and helped him stand up.
'What happened?' The Doctor asked loudly, searching the room for an explanation.
And then, at the doorway, stood Rory Williams, looking utterly bemused.
The Doctor looked down at the Sontaran and saw the remains of a water balloon lying next to its head.
'A water balloon on the probic vent? Rory Williams, you are a genius!' The Doctor yelled happily, running over and hugging him.
Rory shifted embarrassedly, 'I was just trying to distract it.' Amy threw her arms around his neck and kissed him gently on the cheek.
'Doctor!' River shouted, 'You've got to put him in his space-pod and fix it before he wakes up!'
He ran over and looked her up and down, 'You're right, but first…' he trailed off and he leaned in to meet her lips.
Major Daän was gone, the Munchkins were safe again, The Ponds were reconciled and the Doctor and River Song had both admitted to each other how much they liked each other.
Running around the TARDIS console, The Doctor input new co-ordinates and pressed more random buttons, ignoring River's cries of warning.
'So, who enjoyed the team building exercise?' The Doctor began contentedly.
Amy smacked him on the back of the head with a rolled up newspaper she had taken out of the archive.
'So, not so much then?' The Doctor responded, 'Where shall we go next?'
'Why don't we go ruin another movie?' River suggested, winking at The Doctor. They edged closer together slightly and he slinked an arm around her waist.
Amy and Rory looked meaningfully at each other and they both left the console room, sniggering secretly.
River leaned in and kissed him gently, intending it to only last a few seconds, but he carried it on, enjoying the taste of her peachy lipstick on his mouth. She retaliated and their passion ran through their mouths. He began to feel dreamy and light-headed, like he was floating,
'River, is this lipstick hallucinogenic?' he asked, placing a kiss on the tip of her nose.
She winked at him, 'Why don't you taste it again and find out?' she whispered cheekily.
The Doctor leant in and locked lips with River again, not caring that his newly reconciled couple on board were watching and laughing at the two time travellers kissing for the fourth time in an hour.
'So,' River asked, 'which musical shall we intrude upon this time?'
'Let's finish up here first' The Doctor muttered, pulling off his bowtie and chucking it on the other side of the console.
'Yeah, I think that would be good.'
'I fixed everything. I guess I'm like the Wizard, hey?' the Doctor asked smugly.
Rive rolled her eyes, and before passionately kissing him again she said, 'I hate good wizards in fairytales, they always turn out to be you.'