Disclaimer: Idon'townVictorious. Phew, quick and painless. Well, almost painless *clutches chest dramatically*

"Hey Jade."

"Hey babe, come in."

"Thanks. So.. What're we gonna do this afternoon?"


"What's on the paper?"


"Please don't tell me it's more pick up lines."

"I can't do that."

"Oh my god. Jaaaaaaaaaaaaadddee."

"It wont take long, I promise. Besides, after this we can go upstairs and break in my new bed."

"Don't proposition me when I'm mad at you."

"You're not really mad, Vega. Your eyes give you away."

"Whatever, West. Let's just get this over with before I go drown myself in your bathtub."

"I just love it when you're so enthusiastic."

"Just like how I love it when you're sarcastic?"

"Moving on.. If I flip a coin, what do you reckon my chances are of getting head?"

".. Next?"

"I know it's not Christmas, but Santa's lap is always ready."

"If that's to try and get me to sit on you, please note: I already am."

"How about we make like Winnie The Pooh and I get my nose stuck in your honey jar."

"I knew I tasted sweet."

"Stop smirking. I'm on top of things, would you like to be one of them?"

"What I'd like is a chance to be on top every once in a while."

"Not gonna happen."

"Why not?"

"You're a total bottom, whether you admit it or not."

".. Pfft."

"Ha. That's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?"

"With the way things are going, they wont."

"Aw. I'm looking for treasure, can I look around your chest?"

"You can look all you want, but you can't touch."

"That's teasing. Hey babe let's make a bunk bed, you be on the bottom I'll be on top."

"As usual."

"The only time I'd kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor."

"Ha, that's actually happened. Wipe that smirk off your face, Jadelyn."

"I'll wipe mine off when you wipe yours off, Victoria."

"Don't use my full name!"

"Why not? You used mine."

"Because.. Gah, you win this round, West."

"Don't I always?"

"Quit being so smug and hurry up and finish with your stupid list."

"Patience is a virtue. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me."

"That's like you admitting to masterbating."


".. You do, don't you? Am I not enough for you?"

"Of course you are, you're just not always here when the.. Need arises."

"Oh my god."

"Anyway, stop getting sidetracked. Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It's just like a French kiss, but down under."

"Well now I have that song stuck in my head."

"What song?"

"Y'know, 'I come from a land down under, where beer does flow and men chunder, can't you hear, hear that thunder'-"

"Okay, I get it."


"And stop humming it. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning."

"And I could be a pizza. Next?"

"I'm conducting a survey on the taste of vaginas. Would you like to participate?"

"I'm afraid that's private information."

"I'd like to get between your legs and eat my way straight to your heart."

"That just sounds weird. Like you're a cannibal or something."

"Your chest looks a little sore. Would you like me to rub it?"

"Maybe later."

"Let's play 'Titanic'. When I say 'Iceberg' you do down."

"We should play 'Titanic' sometime.."

"We should.."

"Anyway. Back to the pick up lines instead of sexual fantasizing."

"Buzz kill. Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes."

"Aw, that's actually kind of sweet."


"In a cheesy way."

"I am a magical being, take off your bra."

"Who said I'm wearing one?"

"You really are a tease."

"You know you love it."

"If you say so. Let's go get liquored up and rape each other."

"It's not rape if you want it."

"True. I'd rip out both my eyes just so you'd have more holes to screw me in."

"Then you'd be screwed less, because there's no way I'm fucking your corpse when you end up dying from blood loss."

"I would fuck you so hard, you'd learn from it."

"I'm always up for a bit or learning."

"I'll keep that in mind. Want to make a porno? We don't have to tape it."

"Taping it would be the best part."

"I didn't know you had it in you, Vega."

"What? It would be hot."

"And what if somebody accidentally stumbled across it one day?"

"Who would snoop through our stuff?"


"She does like looking through things.. Okay, maybe we shouldn't. Wouldn't want to scar her for life."

"She'd probably like it."

"Ugh, disturbing."

"Eh. I'm on fire, can I run through your sprinkler?"


"Who's mocking who now?"

"Blah blah blah, onto the next lame pick up line on your god-forsaken list."

"Why are you so eager for me to keep reading? Do you actually like them?"

"Don't be ridiculous. I figure as soon as we finish with this, the real fun can begin."

"In that case, I wanna floss with your pubic hair."

"That's awfully unhygienic."

"You're like a prize winning fish, I don't know whether to eat you or mount you."

"You could always do both."

"Don't tempt me."

"Feel the temptation Jade, feeeeeeell it."

"You're so weird sometimes, I think you should stop hanging out with Robbie. If you were my homework, I'd do you on the table."

"Now who's tempting who?"

"Hm. Well here I am, what are your other two wishes?"

"You're quite cocky. Assuming I'd waste a wish on you."

"The only reason you wouldn't is because you've already got me."


"It's a good thing I have my library card, because I'm checking you out."

"Ha, like you own a library card."

"If you get taken by a large man it's only because I asked Santa for you."

"Thank you very much, now I'm going to have nightmares about a fat bearded man stealing me from my bed at night."

"You're welcome."

"Don't smirk at me."

"You know I'd protect you if anyone did try anything, right?"

"Aw, my hero."

"Anyway. Let's save water and shower together."

"That's a good way to explain why we're going into the bathroom together if your mum ever asks again."

"I'm sure she'd be proud that I was trying to help the environment. Roses are red, pickles are green, I love your legs and everything inbetween."

"And here I was thinking you loved all of me."

"Have you ever played 'Spank the brunette'? Want to try?"

"I do."



"Kinky. You've been a bad girl. Go to my room."


"Wait, where are you going?"

"To your room, last I heard I've been a bad girl and we were gonna play 'Spank the brunette'. You coming?"

A/N: I do believe this was wanted? If not, I did it anyway. Ha. I personally don't think it's as good as the first one, but still.. Jori's awesome.

Review or I'll get Edward Cullen to kill you. He sparkles THAT hard. You'll be blinded to death.. Don't say you weren't warned..