Disclaimer: I own nothing Criminal Minds related.
Title: Please Check
Warnings: Slash, but other than that it is surprisingly innocent.
Since I write so many oneshots, I've decided that instead of giving them their own stories, I'm just going to compile them all. Makes it easier on me. XD
Throughout his stay at the BAU, Reid had come to learn just how completely and utterly juvenile his coworkers could be. In specific, Derek Morgan.
Yeah, alright, even Reid would admit that Derek came off like a perfectly rational, mature federal agent what with his professional façade that managed to fool even the most seasoned profiler, but Reid wasn't fooled in the least. Oh no, he was onto Derek Morgan. He knew Morgan's game.
Sure, it wasn't an in-your-face sort of immaturity like a tantrum; it wasn't spit in the food or defacement or defamation of private property like most hooligans – Morgan seemed to have at least that much tact – but it was childish all the same. Rather, it was an… obnoxious sort of behavior that had absolutely no rational explanation in the least. It was a fake snake popping out of the coffee grinds can or a picture of a cat with disturbingly large eyes and bad grammar tucked very inappropriately into a case file or… god, Reid could go on and on.
Yes, even he too had his moments where he acted more like his shoe size rather than his age, Reid didn't even want to recall the Physics Magic incident, but even he generally knew when enough was enough. And his were entertaining! They weren't exactly what Reid would call mischievous. Not like Morgan.
And it had all started from the very beginning, since Reid's first week at the BAU. While it may have been small like Morgan first labeling him 'Pretty Boy' – a nickname Reid really never understood the origin to – it had escalated over the years, all the while, people refusing to believe that Morgan was ever the culprit behind a prank. Instead, there was always the response of, "uh-huh Reid, whatever you say," which could only be translated into, "don't try to blame this one on Morgan."
It was horribly irritating.
More often than Reid would ever care to admit, he found himself being thumbed as the responsible party and it was an utterly humiliating process, especially when Hotch became involved. The first time had been the worst, however.
Reid stood in front of Hotch's desk, head bowed, eyes downcast as the older profiler ever so kindly reminded him that federal property did not make for toys, scolding him about something that wasn't even his fault! But what was he going to do? 'Oh Hotch, it was Morgan, really, I swear.' Not only did that give Reid the distinct feeling of tattling but he really didn't think Hotch would believe him which would probably only make matters worse.
So Reid simply stood there like a school boy before the much feared principal, taking his reprimand with as much grace as he could muster. Morgan was going to pay, that much was painfully obvious.
Reid was only too happy to scurry out of the room with promises that it would never happen again when Hotch finally dismissed him, the younger male wondering if he'd ever be able to recover from his current level embarrassment. Somehow, he found it rather doubtful.
And there was Morgan, sitting at his desk with a far too smug looking smirk. The older profiler was the very picture of ease, propped leisurely against the desk, chaired tilted faintly back, half lidded dark eyes watching Reid's every movement down the stairs. Reid let out an annoyed huff and pointedly looked away in a gesture he was sure would clearly showcase his displeasure. Instead of Morgan offering the only appropriate response – a heartfelt apology and a sincere promise that it wouldn't ever happen again – he laughed.
Derek Morgan let out a snort-like chortle as if he had considered stifling himself at first before thinking better of it. Or worse really from Reid's standpoint because he certainly wasn't amused in the least.
Without thinking about it, Reid picked up an empty plastic cup from one of the nearby desks and promptly chucked it at the other's head. … Considering just what the material was made of, however, to say that it fell short was being terribly polite. What it actually did was come back and hit Reid in the leg, only further fueling Morgan's insufferable snickering. Had Morgan been older, Reid might have been concerned about a heart attack. Only might because Reid's pride was currently taking quite the beating. He was left to sullenly make his way over to his desk.
And it wasn't only office pranks that were limited to Morgan's seemingly closet juvenile behavior either. Oh no, Reid had to suffer off the clock as well.
Reid groggily opened his eyes, letting out a groan like grumble as he turned over in his wonderfully comfortable bed, curling up all the more beneath the sheets. He had every intention of merely going back to sleep though was jolted from that notion when there was a rather strange noise from a direction he couldn't quite place right away. Maybe a bug or…?
And there it was again.
Deciding that the noise must have been what had awoken him initially, a frown slowly made its way across Reid's lips as the young doctor sat up in bed, gaze first flickering to his phone that resided on the side table but it remained silent and motionless. He then glanced at the clock, groaning loudly at the time.
What in the world could it have possibly been?
When the noise came again, Reid was finally able to locate the source: his window, but no, there wasn't anyone trying to break in or anything like that. Instead there was something hitting the glass. A rock if Reid was not mistaken.
A fucking rock. At 2:14 in the morning.
Why were there rocks hitting his window with almost half minute intervals?
Reid kicked off his blankets and moved to a stand, arriving at the window just as another rock collided with it. As he opened said window and poked his head out to peer at the ground below, Reid was completely baffled with the sight that greeted him. Derek Morgan stood on his lawn, a broad smile on his face, a faint pile of small peddles in hand.
"Hey Pretty Boy," Morgan greeted into the night as if this were the most natural thing in the world.
"Morgan… why are you pelting my window with rocks at two in the morning?" Even if he had been fully awake, Reid severely doubted that he would have been able to piece this all together.
Morgan simply offered a shrug. "Tossing rocks, Reid, tossing. I was hardly pelting."
There was a moment of silence in which Reid attempted to comprehend just what the older male had said. "I consider it pelting if it's at two in the morning. Haven't you ever heard of just knocking? Or calling?"
Another shrug. "This seemed like a better way."
"To who? Certainly not my window!"
"Phft, haven't you seen any old movie about high school kids?"
"What does that have to do with anything?" Reid exclaimed exasperated as he rubbed at his eyes.
"Well there's always someone who tossing rocks at someone else's window."
"… Again, what does that have to do with anything?"
"Well you never got the whole high school experience so I figured it was my duty to make sure you had it now," Morgan replied in a very matter of fact manner.
"Why now? I don't—"
But Morgan didn't give Reid a chance to finish, instead interjecting, "Come on Reid. Sneak out with me. Do something crazy."
And Reid merely stared at Morgan as if he had grown an extra head. "Sneak out? Morgan, I'm a fully grown man that lives by myself, why would I have to sneak out?"
"So then you'll go?"
"Go where?" and Morgan simply gestured to the motorcycle parked only a few feet away.
"Oh yes. Get dressed and come down or I'll climb up the gutter." It wasn't an empty threat; Reid knew Morgan well enough to know that he was being entirely serious.
As a last feeble attempt, Reid tried, "Morgan we have to be at work in less than six hours." But when Morgan still showed absolutely no sign of budging, Reid sighed and grumbled, "Alright, alright. Give me a moment."
"Alright, but you have to climb down."
"What?" Reid practically shrieked. "Climb down? I'm on the second story—"
"And we're sneaking out."
"I live by myself! There's no one to sneak from!"
"Doesn't matter. We're sneaking out. Don't worry; if you fall Pretty Boy, I promise to catch you."
Needless to say, Reid was more than just a little miserable about the whole situation but there was that terribly charming smile that Reid always had a problem resisting, and Reid found the last of his resolve completely fade away.
"Alright," he finally conceded with a sigh before turning and moving back into his room to get dressed. As if the motorcycle by itself wouldn't have been bad enough.
So really, it was understandable as to why when Reid was hit in the back of the head with a ball of paper whilst sitting at his desk, minding his own business, doing his own paperwork the doctor didn't even so much as glance up. He ignored the whole situation entirely, at least until he heard an obnoxious and less than subtle, "Pss," coming from Morgan's desk. When Reid didn't even spare an upwards glance, another 'psss' was issued though this time louder. This process continued until another wad of paper was tossed at Reid, finally invoking a reaction.
"What?" he almost growled as he turned around partially in his chair to face Morgan.
"Did you read my note?" Morgan in turn practically whispered though as to why Morgan was whispering, Reid hadn't the faintest idea.
"What note?" and Reid glanced downwards when Morgan gestured towards the two pieces of paper he had tossed at him.
With a defeated sigh, knowing that he wouldn't get any work done until he indulged this playful side of Morgan, Reid reached down and picked up one of the crumpled balls only to receive an insistent, "No, not that one. That one's just a wad of paper to get your attention. The other one."
As Reid picked up the one Morgan had directed him to and smoothed it out, he was only half surprised at what it said.
Will you go out with me? Please check and pass back.
And there, beneath those words were the words 'yes' and 'no' with little boxes beside them.
Reid was only half surprised because honestly, what other way would Morgan ask him out? With a sigh, Reid hurried put a check in the yes box before passing the note back to the older male.
And the smile he received was enough to make it worth it.
Hurriedly, Morgan scribbled something down before tossing the note back at him because apparently this was better than talking.
Tonight at ten. I'll pick you up. We'll sneak out again.