Mystery Inc Takes on The First

Summary: When an accidental wish is granted, the real Scoobies have to learn the truth behind season 7's Big Bad(s).

Warning: I don't know; maybe language and innuendo somewhere along the way. This is almost parody-ish.

Timeline: just after 'Lies My Parents Told Me' in season 7. AU from canon events after that. Some stuff has moved around; most notably, Caleb has already made an appearance in town, but Faith is still in prison.

Challenge: just a b-day present for zigpal. I'll try to update every weekend until it's complete.

A/N: This is the result of insomnia-induced thinking. Can you believe it? A season 7 story where I'm not going to bash the Scoobies! Not to say there isn't bashing, but it isn't of the Scoobies this time.

Thanks to my betas: AerynSpeedleCaine and AshDawnSoulmates.

Disclaimer: BtVS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. Scooby Doo characters belong to Joe Ruby, Ken Spears and Hanna-Barbera Productions . I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission. Dialogue from .

Chapter 1: A Wish is Made

GILES: Buffy...I—I understand your anger. Please believe me, we did what we—

BUFFY: (not looking at Giles) He's alive. Spike's alive. Wood failed.

GILES: Well, that doesn't change anything. What I told you is still true. You need to learn—

BUFFY: (looks at Giles) No, I think you've taught me everything I need to know. (shuts her door)

Buffy's bedroom, Summers home

Seconds later, Dawn burst out of her room – where she had been listening in on the conversation – and grabbed Giles before he could go anywhere. "Nope. You stay here while I get Xander, Willow and Anya. This has gone on long enough."

Once the others joined the gathering in the hallway, Dawn picked the lock to her sister's room and let them in…only to find the blonde Slayer curled up in a ball on the bed, crying silently.

Dawn went into order mode, commanding the others, "Okay, Willow…you comfort Buffy, Anya…you're on snack detail, Xander…find the DVDs, and Giles…get us some pillows; we need to be comfortable."

"Dawnie? What's going on? I don't feel like talking to him," Buffy said, glaring at her ex-Watcher. It hurt that he went behind her back instead of talking to her – especially after he left her so she would learn to make decisions on her own. Then he came back and decided he didn't like them, so he betrayed her. At least that's how it felt to her.

"Well, that's too bad 'cause he's staying – once he comes back with the pillows, I mean," Dawn corrected herself. She sat down on the bed next to her sister, brushing the hair out of her eyes and wiping the tear stains away. "Remember how you told me about Spike driving the group apart during Adam? And how you came up with a plan not to let something like that happen again?"

Sniffling, Buffy nodded, "Yeah."

"Well, I'm calling a Scooby Doo intervention. The stress of this apocalypse is splitting the Scoobies apart; even worse, it's messing with the Watcher/Slayer dynamic. Giles already screwed that up when he left you a year and a half ago, but you're risking losing it forever for a vampire that tried to rape you. I'm not going to let that happen," Dawn declared, glaring at both her sister and Giles.

"Who are you, and what have you done with my bratty little sister?" Buffy asked, sitting up.

"You're making me be mature before my time," Dawn answered, then ruined the effect by sticking out her tongue. "Don't think I'm gonna let that go once this crisis is over; this will be milked for who knows how many privileges."

"She's right, you know. The irony is, it's Spike causing trouble again between you and Giles. Maybe not intentionally on his part, but he is," Willow said with a shrug of her shoulders. "Did you ever think that maybe we should have staked him back when he was first chipped?"

A couple hours later, the last episode of Scooby Doo on the DVD finished playing. Xander stared wistfully at the credits, and uttered the words that would change everything, "They had it so simple. Just once I wish our Scooby Gang could be lucky enough to unmask the villain and find a human instead of a real monster." His selective memory conveniently forgot the Trio and Willow from just months earlier.

Willow, Giles, Buffy and Dawn shouted in unison, "Xander!"

At the same time, Anya felt a wash of power over her, and she reflexively answered, "Wish granted."

A/N: Next…A Plan Comes Together.