Come And Find Me
A/N: My first foray into the Castle fandom. I simply couldn't resist writing something after seeing the newest sneak peek released for "To Live and Die in L.A." Spoilers abound, beware. That said, I hope you enjoy my little dabble, and may it at least provide some relief until Monday. The title and lyrics are taken from Josh Ritter's "Come And Find Me," the song playing in the background of the promo. Anyway, enough rambling, enjoy and leave a note if you're so inclined!
Though I'm here in this far off place
My air is not this time and space
I draw you close with every breath
You don't know it's right until it's wrong
You don't know it's yours until it's gone
"You know what I thought when I first met you?"
"That you were a mystery I was never gonna solve. Even now, after spending all this time with you, I'm… I'm still amazed at the depths of your strength… your heart… and your hotness."
"You're not so bad yourself, Castle."
She expects a quip in return, but he just looks at her. His gaze is tender, sincere, and more serious than she knows how to handle, so she just returns his stare, her heart beating wildly in her chest. She has no idea how long they sit there, watching each other, but when his head tilts ever-so-subtly to the right, she outright panics because she's about two seconds away from leaning forward and kissing him, consequences be damned.
Dropping her eyes, she murmurs quietly, "I should go, it's late. Goodnight."
She doesn't wait to hear his reply, and her bare feet make no noise as she treads across the room. He calls to her, "Kate," and she pauses only briefly, already halfway through the door.
Her first name is intimate, too intimate with the dim lights and the hell of a two days she's had, so she musters what resolve she has left and replies, "Goodnight, Castle," deliberately avoiding the more familiar Rick that threatens to carelessly tumble its way off the end of her tongue.
He's still sitting in the same place she left him when the door closes behind her with a gentle click. With a violent exhale, she leans back against the dark pink paneling and buries her face in her hands. She's edgy, nervous, and as she runs her fingers through her hair, she realizes she wants nothing more than to turn around and dive in. He's been wonderful to her since they've been here, everything she's needed him to be, and she can't leave him tonight without answers to the questions she'd seen on his face and heard in his voice when he'd attempted to stop her hasty retreat.
Her hand hovers over the handle, and before she can convince herself that it's too scary and too real, she gathers some of that deep strength and heart and swings the door open. He'd risen from the couch while she'd debated, and he approaches her slowly, because while she'd been bold enough to come back, she can't quite summon the courage to cross the room to his side.
"Rick, I want…" Next to him without her heels, she's much shorter, and she has to tip her head back to find his eyes. Her voice is shaky, and to her horror, she feels the tears well up and begin to spill over, beyond her control. She's so tired, and she melts into him when he guides her head to his shoulder with a hand on the back of her neck.
"I know," he says, "but no, Beckett." He sounds like he's trying to convince himself more than her, and all at once, reality rears its ugly head. She can't do this, they can't do this. Not here, not after what she's been through with Royce, not when she's technically still seeing another man.
Quelling her emotions, she pulls away and swipes her sleeve across her face in an attempt to pull herself together and remove the evidence of her weakness. After a deep breath, she allows herself just one more, and reaches down to lace her fingers through his. "Castle? Tonight, I… can you… I don't want to be alone." She quirks her eyebrow, tries a small smile, and wills him to understand.
He squeezes her hand and whispers, "Never, Kate," and together they step over the threshold.
A/N: Thoughts on how this scene will actually play out? I'm guessing that Beckett opens the door and Castle isn't there anymore.