Disclaimer: I own nothing.
A/N: Beware possible squick.
-As Long As You're Mine
He has no delusions. He knows he's being used.
Maybe it was different in the beginning. Maybe he managed to convince himself that it was real, at first, when she was still careful and didn't slip up so often. When she still made some effort to pretend it was him she was interested in.
Even if that was ever the case, he's smartened up by now. It would have been impossible not to. Her eyes are distant whenever she looks at him, as if she's seeing through him, through the walls of the Silver Star, through everything—staring at the one person she truly wants and the one person forever lost to her. Her smiles are false, visibly so, because such a level of denial is difficult to maintain.
He never saw it coming. One minute she was still treating him with absent but present kindness, as the vessel for her beloved brother's consciousness. The next minute he was being pressed against the wall by quivering hands and left to wonder, distantly, where the reserved girl he'd lived with for two years had gone. And not really caring, because wasn't this what he had wanted all along?
Yes. No. He had never wanted this—loving her with such desperation that it almost physically hurt, knowing she wanted something from him that he could never, ever give. Hearing her gasp her brother's name into his ear, until he could no longer pretend that it was a simple mistake. Knowing that everything about this was wrong and being too pathetic to put an end to it.
Because, at the end of the day, she is still his. He still has that one, pitiful thing to hold on to.
Chitose is no fool. He knows he's being used.
He just can't bring himself to care.