Author's Notes: It has been a long month. For about 2 weeks, I had a chronic case of writer's block to the point of it being scary. When I finally found my muse, I also had RL life things to get done as well. It's been a mental and physically busy 4 weeks, but finally it's here. A whooping 19,000 words worth. I had a hard time letting go.
I really hope it was worth the wait. I'm getting the "Last Chapter Jitters" with the story. Enjoy this final chapter and there'll be a semi-important AN at the end.
DISCLAIMER: This fic deals with a poly-amorous relationship (Quad) between four men. If you feel the urge to dispel crap about monogamy and heterosexuality and how it's the only right way, I'm not trying to hear that. If this doesn't suit your reading needs, kindly escort yourself out. Though this story focuses less on sex and more about the relationship between the men, there IS sexual relations, and it can get heavy.
Chapter Four Pt. II
"Green or red?" He held up two bell peppers of a different color, weighing them and waiting for an answer.
"Green." I nodded towards his left hand, "They taste better."
He chuckled, grabbing another green one before putting them in a clear, plastic bag and setting them in the shopping cart, "I like to chop them up sometimes and eat them like grapes." It was a random fact.
"They taste great. They're crunchy."
"They taste bitter." He shrugged, giving me a smirk. His grey eyes twinkled with amusement and joy. I knew he was happy. After all this was a special day.
"Oh!" Something caught his eye, "We'll also need lettuce." He had a stupid grin on his face, grabbing a head of lettuce with a plastic bag covered hand. The happiness was contagious. All three men had been like this the entire day. Jasper came back just in time for their anniversary. It was their first year celebration, so it was special. I had talked privately with Emmett, suggesting they do it alone, but as I predicted he was adamant about me coming to dinner and when I tried it again with Edward, he refused to let me stay at home. It was when I tried to escape that afternoon Jasper asked me if I wanted to accompany him to get groceries for dinner. It surprised me how much these men cooked and not take to ordering in more often like I was used to doing or at least eat out on their special day. I agreed, offering that I cook as part of an anniversary gift.
We had quite the drive over to a massive supermarket. It was conveniently down the street from the Costco where Jasper had to pick up the anniversary cake. On the way there, talked about what to make for dinner, the day's importance and eventually why I felt I shouldn't be there.
"It's your special day." I argued, "I think you boys deserve some alone time."
"But we will be alone. It'll only be us in the house. We're not having guests over."
"You'll be having me over, Jasper."
"You're not a guest." He chuckled as if it was silly for me to assume I was. Then with all seriousness added, "Today's special and you're special." Judging by his tone, it was the end of the conversation. My body felt warm and a piece of me wanted so much to fight it. There was no way I could be this lucky.
Absolutely no way.
After gathering some fruits to supply along with desserts, we moved on to the meats and then the center aisle foods. By the time we were at dairy, we were in a deep conversation with a half filled cart.
"1% or skim?" I had picked up both gallons of milk and held them at chest level. Jasper gave me a stern look.
"How long have you been eating dinner and breakfast at home and hadn't noticed the lack of milk?" When I shot him a confused look, he shook his head, "Edward loves cereal and PB&J like the rest of us, but he prefers soy." My nose wrinkled in disgust, "Yeah, I know. So get the half gallon 1% and we'll hide it in the garage." There was a coy smile on his lips.
"Like how you hide your cigarettes in the glove compartment in your car?" I joked. Jasper's eyes widened and suddenly he was a child with his hand caught in the cookie jar. Steel gray watched me shyly as he chewed the inside of his cheek.
"How did you know?"
"Besides seeing you smoke a handful of times?" I shrugged, "Edward told me, of course." With a month of being integrated into their daily lives, there were many things I caught, soy milk not being one of them. Tobacco smelled like sex on Jasper, even if he didn't smoke that much. Somehow the blend with his farm tanned skin had an alluring affect. I could tell Edward enjoyed it too, though he complained that Jasper's health was in danger and how much he didn't appreciate the hidden packets, especially the one in his car.
"Shit." It did sound nice falling from his lips, "I promised I wouldn't smoke, but these recent weeks with Emmett and the constant vandalizing." He rolled his neck on his shoulders, taking the 1% percent half gallon from me.
"No news about who the kids are?" I asked, already knowing his answer. Emmett had informed me weeks before that these occurrences weren't new. Before they moved into my neighborhood, their old neighbors found out about Jasper as a new addition to the family and they didn't take it lightly. It was part of the reason why they moved –to start anew. I found that quite ironic.
"No, but it's nice that that they're giving us a break," His eyes hardened for a second, "though, I'm sure we're not going to be awarded much more time." As soon as the anger flickered on his face, it was gone, coming out as quickly as it came in, "But it makes no sense to worry about it. As long as it's trivial, of course."
Our neighborhood was more open than my previous ones, but of course, we had our conservative families and uninformed minors who occasionally felt it was within their right to be out-spoken. Me without a partner eased up the looks for the most part, so I simply forgotten about how uncomfortable and worse it can get.
"I doubt anything will happen, Jazz." The nickname tumbled out of my mouth quicker than I could hold on to. I had become so used to hearing it around the house, I associated the title with him and apparently I had no self-control to keep the nickname to myself. He rewarded me with a soft smile and a wink.
"I know, Jake." His husky voice was lower as he leaned in towards me. I could smell the slight hint of tobacco under his musky cologne and my breath caught. He smelled delicious, "I've been waiting for you to call me that." His breath fanned against my skin and I gasped. That got a deep chuckled out of him.
I stood in shock in the middle of the dairy aisle. I was sure to the bone that Jasper was flirting with me. My skin was warm and my insides tingled. It couldn't be happening. There was no way Jasper was using his charms on me. The same man who mowed the lawn shirtless, tanned skin glistening in sweat, toned skin accentuated by the mist on his wet body. The very same man I watched Emmett pull back in the house each morning for a delicious kiss.
He found my reaction amusing –slack-jawed and wooed –and I had to look away, anywhere but those gray eyes. So instead, I locked on the dark depths of brown across the aisle near the juices.
And my heart jumped.
I combed over the body –gothic tattoo on the left bicep, crew cut, bulky build –and I confirmed it was in fact him I was staring at. It had been a year since I last seen Paul. I wasn't home when he took his things and left, I wouldn't answer when he made the random visits. I had been successful in detaching myself from him and working at the shop. I hadn't dated or really talked to men after him. 12 months wasn't a long time in all honesty, but I had missed the affection and need. Until now.
Yet, the surfacing images of Paul finally saying the words in our final fight. It followed me like a ghost and I hadn't known it was still there until I was looking at those eyes again. He had noticed Jasper's hand resting comfortably at my waist. His eyes roamed as mine did, but nothing surfaced on his expression. He reached into the chilled compartment, grabbed his juice and tossed it in the basket he carried, before turning away. It was if he was seeing two strangers. And I suppose he was.
It had only been a handful of seconds, but my mind had somehow time-travelled through a long, painful relationship and caught up with us then. I was drawn out of my world, feeling fingers at the nape of my neck, "Is that him?" The voice was low, dangerously low. I had forgotten Jasper could read a mood as if reading a book. He must have noticed the tension radiating off me, but how he figured exactly the cause was beyond me.
I wanted to play it off as if it was just another ex. I shrugged, "Yeah."
I felt him breathing deeply next to me and I was thankful. If this had been Emmett…
I didn't want to imagine what would have happened to Paul for a mistake he made too many times over a year ago.
"Darlin', look at me." Jasper's voice was soft and gentle, pulling me from memories I had somehow kept myself from relieving the last few weeks. I lifted my eyes, staring at him, hoping that he couldn't spot a trace of what was going on in my head. But I could tell by the hesitant look on his face, that he saw something, "Come on, we have a cake to get." We walked in the opposite direction from where Paul trailed off, passing the last aisle of toiletries until we made it to the check-out. There was a decent line at every register, so we took to queuing up in the shortest one. By the time the cashier was getting the total for the older couple in front of us, I heard Jasper give a sharp intake of breath. We hadn't spoken a word since seeing Paul and I know he was eager to ask what was going through my mind. A lot was, but I couldn't be honest about what.
"Did you forget something?" I asked.
An odd look crossed his features before something flickered in his steel colored irises, "Yeah, I'll be a second." And suddenly with some new found haste, he was sliding pass the two conversing women in line behind us before disappearing in a sea of carts and heads. I watched him leave with a sense of dread in my gut.
But there was no time to consider why. The cashier was waiting with a rather impatient scowl for me to place the products on the conveyer belt. It kept me busy for a solid minute with no time to think of exactly what we could be missing. I knew Jasper was back when I felt the pressure of his hand at the small of my back and the scent of his cologne and unique scent. He was back just in time as the last item was scanned and the total came up on the screen in front of us.
"Did you get it?" I asked, already grabbing some of the ready bags.
He didn't answer immediately as he paid the total, "I did." His tone was ominously low and suggestive. I blinked in surprise. He didn't use his usual light and flirty twang. In fact, he appeared to be coming down from some sort of furious outburst that I may have missed. I watched him carefully while he trailed back to the car to unload the cart. It was an uncomfortable walk. Something hung in the air between us and I was sure Jasper was desperately hiding it. As usual, my mind began to work in earnest to understand. Seeing Paul had uncovered a void I thought was gone, that I forgotten about and pretended to fill with my everyday life. I stared at the blonde waves in front of me, wondering what he could be thinking. It was insane to think somehow he knew, somehow seeing Paul brought it out into the air.
Or maybe it was catching up with him –the idea that we couldn't all do this and be okay. Of all days, it had to be their anniversary. Or maybe that was a good thing. Maybe the point of this day was for them to realize that they worked best as three.
I hadn't realized that the trunk of the car was packed and we had been standing there until calloused fingers pressed against my jaw, "I can see what Emmett means," Jasper's voice was much more tender now. I lifted my eyes to his and was relieved to see a face of the stoic, calm Jasper I met a few weeks ago, "You wear your thoughts, you know that, right?"
"I don't know what you mean." I lied. It was too easy for Emmett to see I was upset or overthinking about anything and it bothered me that he wasn't the only one. I always assumed Jasper's gift of reading moods and emotions only worked with his lovers.
"You're thinking about him, aren't you?"
"I'm not." Another lie.
Jasper heaved a sigh, his brows furrowing in thought, "It's not right the imprint he left on you and it's not right that it has left you doubtful."
I bit my lip and didn't answer. I didn't want to confirm or deny the comment. The tips of his nails combed along the scruff of my chin as he considered my expression. He appeared to be weighing his next words before speaking again.
"Jacob," My name was hushed and harsh as if he was on the edge of restraint, "I know what seeing him did to you. It brings a lot of your fears to surface and I know it'll make you question our intentions, but please consider this," The warmth of his palm on my cheek drew me in closer, "We're all in." I didn't have time to contemplate his words. There was a hint of tobacco and the taste of Jasper on my tongue. The kiss was one of determination and intensity that I couldn't deny even in front of the parking lot of a family grocery store. I held his chin, pressing into his warm body and taking in all the solace his kiss offered. I was desperate for the security and sureness of this. I had to believe that this was right, that this web of a relationship could work.
My back was suddenly against the frame of the car, my shirt sliding up my torso. It didn't take a genius to piece together that it was his fingers' doing. The tickle of the digits along my abs made me gasp and pant into his mouth. The kiss was already transforming into something I'd only ever considered with Emmett. We were jarred apart only by the sound of screeching tires. I was finally driven from my daze, looking about to the source of the sound. A truck resembling Emmett's shot by us. The driver was a blur of cropped black hair and tanned skin. I knew who it was.
"Jacob." Jasper's voice was soft, but demanding of my attention. His pink lips were swollen from use and his eyes still had a trace of desire burning in them as he spoke again, "Let's go home." It was a simple phrase but it said so much.
Home. Their home.
But was it my home as well? Was I supposed to call it that, could I call it that?
I didn't want to dispute the facts now with how special the day was for him, "The cake." I reminded him and he nodded, letting me know he didn't forget.
"You're still up for making the dinner, right?"
"Yeah." It was really the only gift I could give them now with the exception of what I had planned later, "And no assistance. It's my treat." He awarded me with a charming smile.
"Yes sir." His right hand patted the hood of the truck and that's when I saw it –the rough, red scabbed skin. I knew the mark well. It came from using your fists to strike something or someone. My heart jumped in my throat as the realization dawned on me. What Jasper didn't tell me, I was sure I figured out.
Whether he noticed my observation or not, Jasper got in the car and started the engine. I soon followed, buckling up and hoping to hell I kept my face neutral. It wasn't until his hand sought out my own, did I know he was aware of where my eyes had been. Holding my hand in his injured one, he spoke, "I never met James, but I have had thoughts and wishes of one day seeing him. Nothing right would have come of us meeting, but I still prayed and practiced the words I'd use on him, remind him of how he forever left a mark on a beautiful man even if the surface scars healed. I was sure I'd never see him, but lord knows I prayed again and again.
"I know what I did wasn't right, but he needed to know, Jacob." The calm in him trembled and his stoic demeanor crumbled before me, "Please forgive me, but I couldn't and will not allow an opportunity like that to pass. The bruise will eventually heal, but hopefully the memory won't fade." His fingers curled tighter around mine.
Edward was a lucky man having two protectors, two men who loved him so damn much. I never thought I'd ever see the affections extended to me, "Jazz." I whispered and I couldn't hold back. I leaned over the console that separated us physically and thanked him for giving me some semblance of hope even with the cloud of doubt looming ahead.
I yawned, stretching my hands over my head in an attempt the rid the kink in my shoulders. I had lost track of time. My thoughts had once again taken reign and steered me away from what I was supposed to be doing. This was going to be my moment to decide whether or not I could trust Jasper's promise.
The ocean churned violently beneath my feet. I shuddered at the pure ecstasy of the sounds of leaves brushing and rustling together creating some of nature's best symphony sounds. The sky was an ink black speckled with fairy dust stars, blinking back down at me. It had to be some time after 8. I wondered if that was time enough or if I should wait another hour. I sighed, uncertain of what to do. Though it had been smart to leave my phone at the house to prevent any calls, I had grown out of the habit of carrying a watch with me.
Leaning into the wind, I replayed the night in my mind. Jasper and I had gotten back to the house in time before Edward. I started with their early dinner as Jasper prepared the patio table outside along with hiding their presents in the bedroom for later. I watched him in fascination as he appeared to be light on his feet, despite his encounter with Paul not an hour before. He rambled to himself, questioning whether or not the tickets to the touring Broadway musical was enough for Edward or the Kinect for X-box 360 would be a satisfying gift for Emmett. I merely chuckled and shook my head. I knew nothing I'd say would ease his nerves. About an hour after, Edward entered, commenting about how good dinner smelled.
"See?" He winked my way, "I knew eating in for tonight was better than going out." I merely shook my head in disagreement.
"Not that I don't mind cooking, honey, but most couples eat out on their anniversary."
Edward shrugged, giving me a juvenile smirk. I turned away from him to check the simmering food on the stove as he spoke, "Well, we're not most couples, are we?" My body relaxed when his arms circled my waist and his cheek pressed against my back. I was still getting used to his intimate gestures, but if felt fucking fantastic feeling his warmth against my back.
The hour went by swiftly as Edward and Jasper prepared for dinner, both taking showers in separate rooms to save themselves for Emmett, I presumed. They were both fresh and smelling like body wash and cologne by the time I was setting the table. And not a moment after, Emmett joined us, finally getting home from work, as he explained, but the big bulging bag he had walked in the house with said otherwise.
"He's worse during Christmas." Jasper spoke with a chuckle. Edward wore a warm smile, giving me a gentle look before turning away to set-up the utensils. When Emmett was finally done with putting the presents aside, he greeted his boys before turning to me with a cheeky grin, wrapping an arm around my waist and giving me an appreciative kiss.
"Baby, this smells fucking great." He commented.
"I hope it tastes as good as it smells." I mumbled, but he snorted giving me a chaste peck on the lips.
"If it tastes anything as close to how you taste-"
"Em," Edward scolded, "You promised to behave."
"I did." He agreed, "Until after dinner." He shot a suggestive wink my way and I rolled my eyes. He didn't know that his plans were being thwarted.
Dinner outside was literally a breath of fresh air. The conversation was light and entertaining as usual, but I could feel the electricity at the table. This was a special day for each man for their own reason.
And it meant something to me as well. Watching Edward's eyes light up as he laughed was a sight I never wanted to do without. My skin tingled and hummed whenever Emmett's thumb absently brushed against mine when he spoke. Jasper's occasional glances my way kept me mindful that he had not forgotten the events earlier that day. Our kiss both outside and in the car had been jarring to say the least. I assumed that he was so well put together emotionally, but there was a bottled chaos in his stoicism. He was just a man of strong control.
It touched me that I was able to see a few cracks in his calm.
Both Emmett and Edward had caught sight of the rough, pink skin on his knuckles. Both of their eyebrows furrowed and they voiced their concerns. Jasper answered with nonchalance claiming that he had trouble getting the lawnmower up and running that morning. Edward's eyes narrowed instantly in disbelief, but he didn't say anything. I knew the topic was going to be saved for a more convenient time.
After dinner, I helped Jasper grab the cake from the fridge. When we brought it out, Edward gasped and Emmett gave a guffaw at the sight of an identical image of the photo on his nightstand that we borrowed planted on the cake. There was no Happy Anniversary printed, but the design of commitment rings on the far corner and small strawberry hearts was an indication as to what this cake was for. The boys joked about whose face they wanted to eat and of course that resulted in some more perverted jokes from Emmett before we all sat down to eat the ice cream cake. When it was time to open gifts, I stood on my feet claiming that I had something special for them back at the house.
Jasper cocked his head in surprise, a light shining in his eyes, "But you said you were cooking and that's it."
I shrugged, "I kind of lied."
Emmett gave me a broad smile, "Baby, what'd you get?" As if asking would give him an answer. I responded with a raised eyebrow before getting up. I had to be quick. I high tailed it to Emmett's room, kneeling down by the bed before blindly swiping under it to grab the bag tucked towards the wall right by the nightstand. I raced back to the kitchen, the small purple gift bag in hand and placed it on the counter. I attempted to straighten the bright lavender tissue paper, making it look presentable before I booked it to the front door. I hoped I would be able to slip out before anyone noticed. But as luck had it, I was spotted by Edward who had slipped back inside to grab another drink.
"Jake?" He called.
"Yeah, honey?" I tried to keep my voice leveled and innocent, but something told me he caught me red-handed. With my hand on the door, I waited for him to step into the arch door-way of the kitchen.
"Is this your present on the counter?"
"Yes." I nodded.
"Then why are you leaving?" He finally stepped out of the kitchen, his bronze hair on fire from the bright lights in the room.
I felt my shoulders slump, realizing I was caught, "I'm going to leave for a while."
"What?" Even from where I stood I could see the pout on his heart shaped lips, "Why? Where are you going?"
I sighed, "I'm giving you three some alone time."
Marching my way, Edward wore a look of agitation, "Jacob, this is our alone time." Something in my chest tightened at his words.
"I'm talking about you, Em and Jazz, Edward." I corrected.
Edward's face fell and he bit his lip nervously, "D-do you not want to be here?" He stammered, "is it us or-?"
God, I hated that look. Reaching over to hold his face, I shook my head, "No, no, honey. This is your one year anniversary in this relationship and you three deserve some time together. That's all."
Placing his hands over mine, his green eyes hardened in determination, "We want you here." It would have been a growl, but coming out of him, it was like a kitten trying to roar.
"It's your anniversary." To placate him, I pecked his lips, hoping he'd melt as he usually did, but instead his lips puckered out more as he pouted, "Edward, please accept this gift."
"We want you here." God, he was very stubborn. But I preferred him catching me than Emmett, "This is not just for us Jacob. There are four of us now."
I felt my breath catch in my throat as I tried to put a reason to why he was saying this. Was he attempting to make me comfortable among the three, help keep Emmett here? I just couldn't take all this in yet. I shook my head and regretted expressing doubt when I saw his face drop, "Enjoy yourselves, okay?" I offered him a weak smile which he failed to successfully return. Pecking his warm, soft lips again, I wished him and the boys a special night before slipping out.
I didn't spare a look back, hopping on the bike and heading for my sanctuary.
I dusted off my jeans, getting ready to head back. I figured the night would be theirs completely, so there was no need hiding out now. I was sure they'd be tired afterwards. The ride home was quiet and yet my mind thundered and roared with thoughts like a rainstorm. I fought against the doubt that was once a nagging but grew into a cloud of darkness since seeing Paul. It wasn't a coincidence that I saw him on a special day like this. It wasn't just chance that his words from our last fight was ringing in my head.
It was after catching him in our house with some boy who was barely legal that I knew that there was nothing that was going to stop his infidelity or emotional and physical abuse. Before he could leave that night to chase after the startled boy, I told him it was over, there was no need for him to come back. He pinned me against the wall, a fire in his eyes I recognized from many nights of fighting him off of me. My heart thundered in my chest, but this time the anger overpowered the fear. I loved myself far more than I loved him and I was more than ready to fight for my worth.
And that's when he said it.
"You were never enough for Jacob, but at least you still had me. Now what are you going to do alone? That's what you want, right? To be alone? Because you'll never be enough for any man."
The stinging in my eyes wasn't from the furious winds or the firing of dust as I turned into my drive-way. I stepped off my bike, digging in my pockets for my keys. I nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw the shadow on my porch.
"Em!" I gasped and scolded, "Why aren't you with the boys?"
He stepped out of the dark and into the light of my drive-way, "Why aren't you?" His voice sounded rough and hurt and his blue eyes weren't twinkling with mirth as I expected from such a special day.
"I thought I'd give you some-"
"Some time alone. Yeah, Edward told me." He didn't sound happy about it, "Jacob, is this not what you want?"
I stood stark still by my bike, the rush of doubt running through every fiber in me. He had no idea how much I wanted this. I cared about him too much to give it up, I looked forward to every day seeing all three men, talking to them and reveling in their private little world. But just because I wanted this, didn't make it right by me or by any of them. Perhaps we were all being selfish. Perhaps I was the mismatched piece to their perfect puzzle. It was these thoughts that made me ask him my own question.
"Am I enough for you?" The look that crossed Emmett was initially shock before ebbing away to anger. The jolt in my chest recognized fury. I stepped away from him, my leg bumping into my bike.
"How can you ask me that?" I was surprised by the hoarse rasp of voice instead of a gritty hiss I was used to from my ex, "I gave you the choice-"
I had briefly forgotten in my haze of flashbacks. He was right. He did give me a choice, something Paul had never offered, but we both knew he would have been unhappy. We both knew that he needed them, "I want you happy and I know it is with them, Emmett. It wasn't a choice."
"What are you telling me, Jacob?" I wanted so much to fall into his arms, hear his rumbling chuckle as we watched a movie or shared a conversation with the boys. I wanted it all right, I wanted it without fucked up pasts or insecurities. I wanted to just forget. But no matter how I had tried, the doubt kept resurfacing and now it stood before us in its corporeal form.
Am I enough?
What better way for me to face this realty than falling for a man who has two lovers.
Paul may have been right. Maybe my fate was to always be just one amongst others.
My gut tightened and contorted at the thought. It wasn't right. It wasn't, because I knew I felt something for Edward and Jasper. I felt at home with them. I enjoyed the intimate moments shared with Edward and the emotional tranquility with Jasper. It was so much more than Emmett. But they were happy before me. It was Emmett that wasn't and it was Emmett they wanted to stay. I was enough for them because I was enough for him. That had to be it, right?
"I don't know." I shook my head, "I don't think I'm cut out for this." I crossed my arms over my chest, protecting myself form the onslaught of his reactions.
"What happened today?" He asked, taking hesitant steps toward me, "What made you change your mind?" I could have sworn I wore my emotion and thoughts on my sleeve. It was too easy for these men to figure me out.
But I couldn't admit that it was the sight of Paul that spurred the avalanche and the inevitable end, "Nothing, I just-" I bit my lip, thinking quick, "Seeing you tonight with them, I know that's how it should be." It was true, even if it wasn't the entire story.
Understanding settled over his face, "Baby," And he was standing nearly chest-to-chest with me, "You paint this entire night as if you're not there with us. Do you not see that all of us were happy?"
I clenched my eyes shut trying to focus on my next words, knowing it hurt worse letting them out, "Maybe-maybe I'm a buffer for this relationship. Maybe you're happy as a result to me being there, but not because I was."
"Jacob-" I knew he was going to argue a point, but I couldn't let him. I couldn't listen and feel that warmth, that assurance that they all gave me. It was an illusion and Paul had been my dead reality that day.
Keeping my eyes shut tight, I spoke up, "Please," He let me continue, "Emmett, I'm not denying how much I need you or how happy and fucking complete I feel every day in that house with all of you. I won't lie to you about that. I know you see it, but this isn't healthy for either of us."
"Why not?" He barked, "Because it's not traditional or conventional?" I shuddered, feeling his anger radiate.
"Because you only want me because you felt you were missing something. And they only want me because they want you happy," I felt my insides crumble as I finalized my thoughts, "And I was selfish enough to accept that." He stepped away from me in shock and the silence that followed was tormenting. I waited, lifting my eyes to meet his, only to see he had hidden his blues behind his lids, taking in my words.
His broad shoulders were slumped, his dimples nowhere to be found and his curls in disarray as he helplessly pulled at them, "You really believe that?" He sounded defeated, distraught. Seeing him like this made me feel sick to my stomach. But I was so damn scared to believe otherwise. I had to remind myself I was worth something.
"You still don't get it." He let out a shuddering sigh, and then was silent for a second before his next words added a shock to the painful moment, "You owe it to the boys to tell them." It didn't sound like a request.
I balked at the idea of facing them and saying those words. The look on Edward's face. God, he'd be hurt. I knew he would think it was him, something he did. I just couldn't, not after assuring him that I gave this night to them and for no other reason, "Em, I can't."
"Why not?" He challenged, his eyes a reminder of the ache in my chest, "Afraid of what you'll see?"
"He'll think it was him." I answered weakly.
"Well isn't it?" Emmett replied, his eyes searched mine for something and when he didn't find it, agony masked his face, "You have no idea how wrong you are, do you?"
When I didn't answer, he stepped forward, holding my upper arms in his hands, "Jacob, baby, please don't do this. Don't let your past win."
"I'm not." I tried to sound confidant, but my voice cracked and my body was trembling.
"Are you not happy?" He pleaded, "Is there something we can do differently? I'll do anything you want." I heard the desperate need in his voice, someone grasping for straws.
"Emmett, what you're looking for isn't me." I didn't know what I was saying. It was going against everything I was feeling, everything I needed, but my mind was hard-wired from the last few years. Wasn't it enough evidence that Emmett was with two perfect men? What could he need me for?
I wasn't sure where to stand, what to think. I wanted to be selfish, hold him to me and say I wanted everything he was willing to offer me. I wanted to enjoy the feel of Edward's locks tickling my nose when his head was tucked under mine and smell the slight hint of tobacco on Jasper and perhaps taste his lips again. I wanted so much to be selfish.
"How can you be so sure about that?" I turned myself away from his words, but he wouldn't allow that. Holding my face in his hands, he directed my line of sight, "Please answer me."
"I'm not." I answered honestly, fearful I admitted to too much.
Using the hold he had on me, Emmett pulled me in for a gentle kiss, expressing every need I felt in my core, while desperately holding me to him as if this was our last moment together. It was until we were both breathless and panting, did he pull away. Pressing his cheek to mine, he spoke silently, "Tell them."
My heart faltered. I know he wanted to prove something to me, but I was afraid that he was wrong. With no words, I agreed, nodding my head and unconsciously gripping onto his shirt, taking in that sweet smell that drew me in during our first kiss. I prayed that this wasn't our last.
We walked the length of my yard in silence, a small distance between us. I watched as he shouldered his bravery, walking a few feet ahead before opening the front door for both of us. I stepped inside without words, listening to the distant sound of a cello being played. My heart felt as if it was suffering from some chronic attack. The somber, alluring sound was forever Edward's and I felt sick imagining a world where I couldn't see him play again. I waited in the front room, suddenly a stranger to this house as Emmett continued to the back room where I knew Edward must have been playing for Jasper.
The wait was an eternity while I stared at the walls and contemplated leaving without anyone knowing. But Emmett was right. I owed it to them. I saw the plaques and awards and there was a hint of a smile on my face as I had a brief flashback of the first day I officially met these men. It was odd how different I was, how I had assumed all wounds were healed and believed I was a man that was complete and happy.
Edward was the first to step into the front room, his hair wild on his head as usual. His eyes were already glistening and I couldn't help myself. Opening my arms, I offered him my comfort. He didn't hesitate, running into them, tucking his head into my shirt.
"I knew something was wrong." His voice was muffled into my shirt. I warmed his back with my hands, petting his skin through his shirt, before pulling away slightly so he could see me.
"Nothing's wrong, honey," I was lying again, but I really couldn't handle seeing him like this.
"Emmett's upset." He whimpered, "You're leaving." Like he could read my mind.
I heard the shuffling of footsteps, before seeing Jasper and Emmett appear. Both looked somber and ready for bad news.
Jasper approached and hugged Edward from behind, "Come on, sugar. Let's all go in the living room." I allowed him to take Edward from my arms. A piece of me went with the green-eyed angel, but I couldn't help but recognize another piece went with Jasper as well when his fingers traced my bicep in passing. I saw the pleading look before he turned away, escorting Edward to the living room. I followed behind, trying to formulate what I was going to say in my head. By the time everyone was seated before me, I still had nothing. Emmett had been quiet, not speaking a word. His elbows rested on his knees, his hands covering his face. Edward sat next to Jasper, a hand in his lap, patiently waiting. He seemed to be handling himself better now that Jasper was in the room. I felt gratitude knowing that he had Jasper, that they knew each other so well. My eyes traced back to the very man that drew me into their family. He sat a few inches away from them, but he appeared to be isolated in his world.
I felt like my heart break, unsure of what to do.
So I did the only thing I could. Kneeling in front of Emmett, I took his hands in mine so I could see his face, "Emmett," I pleaded, "Look at me." He listened, lifting his head and hesitantly meeting my eyes, "There's nothing I want more than to not do this. I never felt this way or been so drawn to any man like I'm drawn to you. I never understood relationships until I stepped into this house. I've never felt so at home." At that, I stood up on my feet to address Jasper and Edward.
"I'm sorry to be doing this on your anniversary night, but-"
"Please don't say it." Emmett begged, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes.
A shaking hand went through my hair as I tried to collect as much courage to speak. The imprinted words echoed in my head as if etched repeatedly through the walls of my mind. I opened my mouth to speak and like that, the atmosphere in the room shifted.
"Don't let him be the reason you're doing this, Jake." Jasper's voice was as pleading as Emmett's and that perplexed me. I knew Jasper cared. I felt it in his kiss and in his words. I learned he was a man of small gestures, but loaded ones. Even with that knowledge, there couldn't have been anything more than that. Jasper cared for me, but he loved Edward and Emmett. And this was why I was doing this. I didn't want their relationship to be sour because of me. I didn't want us all to suffer for my need to feel that comfort and love.
And most importantly, I didn't want to be the outsider, never enough for them. I wasn't sure I could handle it again.
I sighed, knowing Paul was the reason for this, but it was good for them, "Paul had a point." I spoke quietly, "And seeing him today of all days, on your anniversary was the sign I needed."
"Jacob," He didn't have to finish. I knew what he wanted to say. I remembered every word in that car and it ran through my mind the last few hours. His promise.
We're all in.
But what if they were all in for the wrong reasons?
But I couldn't ask this, because Emmett was already on his feet, his fist tightened at his sides, "What did he do?" He growled.
I shook my head, "Nothing." Technically he didn't today, but I knew that for my life, the man did a lot. He crippled my life long enough and planted the seeds of doubt. But he also opened my eyes to a world where not everything works out no matter how much love is involved.
Emmett looked to Jasper, not convinced and with a heavy sigh, Jasper finally spoke, "We saw him at the grocery store today. He didn't approach us or say anything."
Emmett frowned in confusion, "Then why-?" And he looked at me, understanding settling in, "Baby, was it him? Is he the reason why you changed your mind?"
I didn't want to admit to it, even it was true. The point of the matter was, this wasn't going to work out, "Emmett, seeing him cleared a few things up for me-"
"Like what?" He asked quickly, before fear grew in his eyes, "Do you still love him-"
"No!" I answered vehemently. I couldn't, not with what I felt for Emmett and the boys. Whatever I felt for them was too intense and overpowered anything I ever had for Paul.
Edward quietly spoke up, on the verge of a sob, "It all came back, didn't it? You began to question your worth, doubt everything. It's like it's only been a day since you've seen him, like you haven't changed at all." I had forgotten that out of all the men sitting in the room with me, there was one that understood some of the torment I went through.
I couldn't deny him the truth. With a heavy sigh, I sat in the recliner, feeling a weight roll off my back, "The last thing he said to me was that I was never enough for him. He wasn't happy with just. He needed other men to feel satisfied. " They knew where this was going. All three of them waited for me to say it. It hung on my tongue, unwilling to be spoken, but I had to, "The option you gave me was to have Emmett for myself or be a part of your lives. I knew that if I took Emmett away, he'd be unhappy because his home is where you two are, but somewhere deep down I also knew that I wouldn't be enough to make him happy."
"Baby, you know that isn't true." Emmett argued.
"Isn't it?" I sighed, "It's only been a year and look how far all three of you came. You admitted that it took time for you and Jasper to find that connection, but it was there. Maybe it'll take some time for the love to grow deeper. It's only been a year, Emmett."
"It's not what I have with you. None of our love is the same." He disagreed.
"I know." I agreed finally, "But I am expendable."
I stood on my feet and a rush of exhaustion took over me. It was as if I had been running on low energy for hours. Emmett stood with me as well, "I can't do this without you."
"You can. And you have."
"Barely." He whispered. We both turned to the sound of muffled whimpers, "God, babe."
Edward had sat up and pulled away from Jasper, holding his own weight. He stared at me with those forest green eyes shimmering with tears and I held back a sob of my own. I couldn't understand the effect he had on me, "Honey, please don't cry."
His lips trembled slightly, "Don't go." He sniffled, "You'll be taking three men away from me if you leave us. I don't care if that makes me selfish." He held his head high, despite his watery gaze. I didn't know what he meant by three men leaving if I left. I couldn't understand what that would imply. Would Jasper and Emmett really break it off?
"I can assure you that won't happen." I promised.
"It would." Emmett spoke silently, "Edward is right, Jacob. I told them about what I wanted to do before we met you. I told them I had considered leaving, hoping to find some sort of connection they have with each other. They know I love them and they're everything to me, but I couldn't hide that something was missing."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I suddenly had an image of him that night promising he wouldn't leave. He had avoided answering whether or not he had considered leaving before meeting me. It hurt to know that he had this conversation with both Jasper and Edward. Was that why Edward felt guilty? Because he found Jasper?
"I wouldn't know what to do with myself if you left, Jacob."
I was trapped, "You're leaving me with an ultimatum." I suddenly felt cornered. The guilt weighed heavy in my gut, but I never fathomed that he'd use my weakness against me. I wanted their relationship intact.
"We're trying to make you understand." Jasper spoke softly.
"Understand what?" I snapped, "That leaving breaks up a relationship and staying placates everyone involved?"
"None of us want you to leave." Jasper tried to reason.
"No." I shook my head, "Emmett doesn't want me to leave. You and Edward only need me to stay so he can be happy. How is that a relationship?" It came out like fire from my lungs. It was a proverbial slap in the face to each of them and I suddenly regretted it. It didn't' matter that I believed that. I cared too much about them to idiotically hurt them with words.
Taking a few steps back, I digested just how much I twisted this perfect relationship. The comparison I made of them as nymphs to disasters. I must have been wrong. I was what lead them to disaster. I ruined this beautiful relationship by stepping into it.
"I-" I stammered, watching the shell shock on their faces, "I'm so sorry I ruined this." I turned away, rushing for the door. I needed to get out, but as expected hands were on my wrists, turning me around to face the man that stopped me.
"You don't have the right to run away like this." His voice was stronger, more assertive, but the hurt was evident in his eyes, "And you didn't have the right to say what you said. It breaks my heart to know you would…" His voice trembled and trailed off.
"Don't." He snapped, dropping my hand and stepping back, "You broke my heart, Jacob."
The words echoed in my head, like a yell in an empty house. I stood there, petrified physically and mortified by what I had done to him, Jasper and Emmett. God, Emmett. I wanted so much to protect myself and keep them happy.
I hadn't realized I had been standing there long enough for Edward to disappear and for Jasper to be occupying the space before me, furtively wiping away the lone tear that slid down my cheek, "Your worst enemy right now is your mind, beautiful." He spoke with a sad smile.
Regret welled up in my chest as I realized I had taken his advice and thrown it aside. He was intuitive and smart and knew the ins and outs of both Emmett and Edward emotionally. He was legit and yet I couldn't bring myself to trust that his words were right, "I'm so sorry." I mumbled, feeling like an ass.
"I understand." He nodded, "But it doesn't feel good to hear someone you care about believe otherwise."
"How can you-" I stammered. There was just no way he could. It was too soon and too much. It was more likely that I get struck by lightning and win the lottery in one day than for three men to care about me like this. It was near impossible.
"Because you were what we had been missing." He shrugged as if it was no big deal and I suppose it wasn't. To him, it must have seemed that I was what they needed and was easily applicable to their relationship. But it shouldn't have been that easy. As if reading my mind he spoke again, "Don't look at this as you being a small solution to a small problem. Emmett was just in tune enough to know that someone was missing."
"He was unhappy." I corrected.
"Well, ignorance is bliss, isn't it?" He leaned in, pecking my lips softly, "Please consider." I covered the hand on my cheek, feeling the rough patch of skin. My heart sputtered in my chest, thinking back to what he had done. I didn't know what he said to Paul or if he struck before he preached, but I knew that the warmth and gratitude I felt for him was as potent as anything I felt for Edward. He literally fought my demon for me, he fought my doubt and I let him down by letting them win. I turned my hand, kissing his palm and clenching my eyes, picturing this as a typical intimate gesture that we'd exchange in the future. It was too late now, but I had a moment to dream.
"Thank you." I whispered into his hand. His thumb lazily traced my lips as I spoke and I felt a sudden need to kiss him.
"You came into our lives and you brought him back to us. I believe I should be thanking you." His hand dropped from my face and I felt a pang from the lack of contact. I hadn't noticed Emmett had standing in the doorway until Jasper turned to give him a comforting peck on the lips. Turning to me, he offered a gentle smile and followed the trail of where Edward went. I hoped he could comfort him and let him know how sorry I was, even if I truly wanted to be the one to do it.
It was just Emmett and I left in the room, a ringing silence between us. The hum was still there, surging and in need to be acknowledged. I wanted with everything in me to tell him I was wrong, and yet something stopped me. After saying so much, I wasn't sure everything could be right. Edward would never forgive me for what I said, and in knowing that, I saw that there was more to this than them wanting Emmett happy, but how could Edward or any of them trust me to stick around if this doubt springs up again? I knew I wasn't completely convinced and I couldn't promise this feeling wouldn't show its hideous face again, but like hell, I wanted this so much.
"Please, don't leave." He spoke first and I couldn't help the pull I felt then. Closing the gap between us, I wrapped my arms around his chest and pressed my face into his neck, greedily taking in the feel and scent of him. The despairing want of his voice was all he needed to get me to hold on to him. I wasn't sure I had the strength to pull away even if he ordered me to.
A hand came up and fisted my hair, pulling me back slightly before lips crashed against mine in a rushed, desperate kiss. I fed into it with a hunger I'd never known. I knew it was wrong to do this if I wanted to disappear from their lives, but my heart ruled more than I could ever admit to. My fingers clenched around him and my breath quickened as a panic set in.
I had to do this now or I'd never be able to. I didn't have the power to deny myself this need for so long.
I assured myself that this was the right thing and pulled away, "I can't, Em-"
"Don't say it," He held my face in his hands and stared at me with the intent to keep me to him, "Don't be a victim." And his lips were soft and eager against mine. I fell into in the kiss, melding my body to his, before fear struck again. We were being selfish. I pulled away again, this time taking a step back with the intent of leaving.
"Emmett, I can't do this to you. I'm not enough. I'm not what you need-"
And I was turned around to face him, "You're more than anything I thought I wanted. Jacob, you're my connection to Jasper and Edward. You've taken a relationship that was operational and brought it to life. I understand what it's like to feel my body and heart come alive when I'm next to a lover. You've opened that door. It was all you. How can you say you're not enough? My world brightens just fucking thinking about you.
"I need you like I need them and it's not because you're not worth the love of one man, it's because you're worth the love of three."
"Emmett," I gasped as the words settled in and the image of Paul holding me against the wall, the fire in his dark eyes dissolved away and was replaced with the passion and need of blues.
I gave in finally.
His body crushed with mine, both of us zealous with the desire to touch each other, "I need you." I whimpered into his mouth as the impact of our contact had us slamming the front door closed. It was like déjà vu, feeling him press against me in the silent house, both of us so intent on touching one another, unsuspecting of the startling change of the next second.
It was a holler and a clash of glass on glass. Emmett pulled himself away from me, eyes searching mine as if asking if I heard the noise.
"What was-?" He started and we both jumped away from the door as another sound of shattering glass echoed throughout the dark house. The room danced in an orange glow and that was enough to get us moving. The light was coming from outside, where my house was.
And suddenly I was pulling the door open, stepping out into the night. I felt my heart drop at the sight of my front porch dancing in foot high flames. My shock was so paralyzing, that I hadn't realized Emmett rushing pass me until he was on my lawn. A shadow danced along the curb just as Emmett neared and I watched in stunned silence as Emmett tackled it down. What was going on?
"Jacob!" There was a screech behind me and I turned to see Edward stumbling out of the house, his eyes trained on the fire before he lifted them to another I hadn't caught. The glass to my window was broken and it appeared to be lit to life from the inside.
"Edward!" Jasper was gracefully quick, wrapping his arms around Edward's small frame, holding him in place as he struggled.
"He's in there!" Edward's knees buckled under himself, but Jasper kept him up as best as he could.
"Sugar, please." He begged, "Stay here. I need to know you'll keep here." He whispered into the bronze locks.
My mind was able to focus and piece together the series of events that was occurring in front of me. Edward thought I was inside the house. I had to go to him.
"I'm right here." My voice was hoarse, but loud enough for the both of them to hear. Both heads jerked in my direction and there was nothing to stop Jasper from holding Edward in place then. He slipped out his arms and into mine, trembling violently as he wrapped his limbs around my waist.
"I'm fine, honey." I was a bit shaken from the sight of my house. My mind drifted to the material things inside, but I was surprised that the hysteria hadn't settled in. Holding Edward in my arms, I actually felt at peace. And seeing the relief in Jasper's eyes as he walked over to wrap arms around my shoulder and press his lips to the crown of my head, I knew the things that mattered most to me were outside the house.
My eyes fell on Emmett's and suddenly another thing was clear, he had the culprit, "Jasper." I warned and he turned, catching sight of Emmett holding a smaller body against the concrete sidewalk.
"Edward, sugar, call the police and firehouse." Jasper suggested.
Edward, clearly upset, seemed conflicted. He held me tighter, eyes wide and alert, even as he took Jasper's words in.
"I'll come with you, honey." I coaxed him inside with me and I made my way to the kitchen where their landline was and made the call.
Red and blue lights danced about in my line of sight. Everything was loud and shrill as I stared at my past blackened, breaking away to flecks of burnt material. The area around each window that experienced the ramifications of a Molotov cocktail had a ring of darkness, and smoke peeking out of the shattered windows. One of the firefighters had spoken briefly with me, explaining that the only damage done at been to the front room and my bedroom. About 75% of the house was in great shape. But it didn't look the same and much of it held the physical scars of some clueless, stupid kid's actions. He sat in the back of the police car, scared and quiet. I had recognized him as the same adolescent that suffered the wrath of my bat weeks before. I suppose he came back to show me some sort of lesson, to prove something or another to his peers or himself. The hateful act easily cost him some harsh consequences, not to mention me pressing charges. An older couple stood on the edge of my house, speaking heatedly to the police and gesturing towards where I sat on the porch steps. They were his parents, both seeming as though they were rushed out of their bedrooms and forced to endure something they felt they shouldn't. Neither of them appeared apologetic or concerned for the well-being of me or my home. But I couldn't bring myself to care.
Instead I stared at the wide mirror in front of me, a reflection of what I must have been; A functional, livable mess. Strong hands cupped the nape of my neck, pulling me to sideways, until my head landed on broad shoulders. Another, more petite hand with long fingers petted my hair from behind and calloused digits weaved into my fingers. We all sat and watched as the fires died down and the neighbors walked on the periphery of the scene. We waited until the cops finally noted down the events of the night and wheeled away the kid who looked no older than 19 as his parents followed in their SUV. Neither said a word to us and I wanted it that way. The last to leave were the firefighters, stressing how important it was to stay out of the house. He didn't need to ask if there was anywhere I had to go, I suppose it was clear to him I already had shelter. With a nod, he disappeared with his men as well.
And then there was just us.
"Let's go inside." Jasper suggested, giving my hand a gentle tug before standing. We all walked the few feet to the door, our steps slow and heavy. My eyes couldn't leave my house as it stood there smoking, a sad imitation of what it was hours before.
"Come on, love." Edward pleaded from the inside. I hadn't noticed I was the last one on the porch.
A part of me felt a numbing sensation, the same part of me that had trouble earlier that night making up my mind about whether or not to leave these men to their lives. I couldn't think now, I couldn't feel now. Without rationalizing, I trudged my way through the house, pressing my palm against the familiar door, before facing the wide bed. My body instantly slumped at the thought of lying in it, but before I could, arms were around my waist and I was pressed against a wide chest. My body shuddered, knowing the last few hours of this night changed everything. There was a rush of air as I was turned to face him. I gasped out at the rough press of our chests together. I couldn't comprehend the connection right away, his face pressed against my neck, his trembling shoulders, and the way his hands seemed to cover my entire body. All I could do was let him hold me as he wanted as I tried to catch up to the night.
"That could have been you," His muffled sob shook me, "If I wouldn't have fought to keep you here-"
"Em," I gasped. I hadn't thought about it, even as I watched Edward crumble against Jasper's chest. It still did not cross my mind that that could have been me in there. That if Emmett hadn't been on my porch, if I had left that moment Emmett went to get the boys, if Edward hadn't stopped me as I tried to leave, if Jasper hadn't stalled me with his words, that could have been me.
"I don't know what I would have done-" I couldn't let him finish. I needed him to know I was here and now that I knew the drastic damage of my permanent absence, I could never leave.
My lips sought out his, silencing whatever fears he had. He fervently responded, allowing me access to explore what I would have deserted. There was no way in hell I could ever not be his if he needed me. I just wanted him happy. I wanted all of us happy and safe.
And I owed him the promise.
"I need you so much." I whimpered against his lips. Emmett didn't allow me a second more to beg. He stepped away, only to whip his shirt over his head. Our mouths met again in a harsh collide, but neither of us seemed to care. My palms pressed against the rough plains of his abs, fingers directed down towards the hem of his jeans as I tilted my head, deepening the kiss. Emmett took a sharp inhale as my fingers tickled the hair under his navel.
The events of the night played as some form of an aphrodisiac to the moment. My entire body felt oversensitive, damn near buckling under the hum between us. My breath came out in pants against his parted ones as I attempted to catch my breath. Staring into his azure eyes, it registered that there were tear streaks along his cheeks. His skin was slightly flushed and those beautiful blues were bordered by red. I stroked his cheek, slowing our efforts to physically take each other in, "I'm yours." I swore to him, "However long you want me, Emmett."
Once again, he didn't hesitate, using the opportunity to let our lips connect before his arms came around my waist, holding my hips in a strong grip before I heard the definite rip of my shirt shredding apart. I didn't have much time to process exactly what the reason was for it. Emmett was already lowering himself to his knees, taking the remains of the shirt with him, kissing my exposed chest and abdomen as he descended. Tossing the fabric over his shoulder, Emmett growled under his breath, "Jacob, I've been waiting for you to say that the moment I touched you."
My heart jumped in my throat as I digested that he wanted me as much as I wanted him, that he needed me just like I needed him. He was on his knees before me, unbuckling my jeans, licking his lips in anticipation. It wasn't Emmett's first time putting his mouth on me. I knew the texture of his tongue and was familiar with the way he circled that wet muscle around the crown of my cock before suckling it into his mouth. It was otherworldly watching him bob on me as I bucked into his mouth. As much as I enjoyed that, I knew there was something I need to give him.
Reaching down to tug on his elbows, I spoke, "Emmett." With a look of worry, he stood on his feet.
"What is it, baby?" His eyes drew down in disappointment, but his body language was that of concern.
"When I said I was yours I meant-" I licked my lips, "I want to give you all of me."
He held his breath then, eyes widening to an almost comical effect, "Are you sure?"
After tonight, there was nothing I was more certain of. It had finally sunk into my thick skull, finally made it pass the image of Paul and the nightmare of that afternoon. I trusted Jasper and I was going to follow his advice and not only consider, but accept their offer finally. And the first step was giving myself to the one who brought me in the family.
"Yes, baby, I am." I said with all sincerity. I pecked his lips and held his hand as I guided him back to the bed.
I knew I was supposed to get up. There was much to do. I had to call the shop and let them know I wasn't coming in for the day and I also had to check up on the house, contact my home insurance providers and set up an appointment with the carpenter Jasper knew who fixed their window a few weeks before. Not to mention with the food I ate the previous night, I needed a good morning run and an evening visit to the gym. But turning over onto my side in need of the warm body was keeping me from leaving the room, let alone the house. The last hour of the previous night was a mix of panted moans and the sound of slick skin in contact. I held him to my chest as he finally came, only after stubbornly bringing me to orgasm twice that night. I was equally as stubborn, not allowing him to remove his weight off of me. Holding him between strong thighs, he finally succumbed to my will and with a few kisses along my jaw, fell asleep in my arms.
Sometime in the night, he must have moved off of me, and as I searched the sheets blindly, left the bed as well. My eyes shot open in a moment of panic only to find a dimpled smile from the doorway, "I never want to see that look on you again." He sounded serious, but the smile on his face gave lightness to the order, "I thought I'd wake you up with a treat, but apparently my heavy ass on you was what kept you asleep." He was only in his briefs, holding what looked to be the gift bag I left on the counter for them.
"Emmett, that was for you three." I scolded, but he chuckled.
"It's for all of us, but for now," He tossed the bag on the bed, "It's for you."
If coming twice the night before wasn't enough, my cock let me know then. I moaned, knowing what was in the bag –an innocent coupon to a nice, expensive restaurant downtown and a small gift set of edible lube, condoms, a cock ring and anal beads. It was my way of telling them it was time they had a moment to themselves again. Emmett had avoided sex with either Edward or Jasper after they agreed to try a relationship with me as well. The gift was more than sex toys and a free dinner; it was me letting him know that he was free to give his body to his lovers whenever he wanted.
"Emmett," I licked my lips, aware he had something planned.
"You should know that after last night, it'll be hard-" He smirked, "Pun intended –to keep me from touching you in any way. Now that I have permission, I'm pretty sure I'm going to abuse the privilege." I highly doubted it, not with all the damn sexual tension there was still left between us. It would take more than another round to fix it and if I dare imagined, a few shared moments with Jasper and Edward as well.
I wondered where they were off to.
"What do you plan to do?" My throat was still dry and unused from sleep, but he heard me clearly, judging by the way his smile broadened.
"Now what would be the fun of that, babe?" He snickered. Licking his lips hungrily, he climbed on the bed, hunger in his eyes. Reaching under the tackled sheets, his fingers wrapped around my ankle before pulling, the force tugged me down a few inches on the bed. He didn't stop until I was right where he wanted me.
By now my cock was rock hard from the idea that he planned something. Leaning over me, he allowed me to feel the intimidating power of his big body. His smile widened as if reading my mind. Clearly, I was going nowhere. Wrapping both arms under each of my thighs, he spread me and pulled my ass on his lap. He was slow, achingly slow, bending his upper body so his lips hovered over my chest.
"Mm," He inhaled deeply, "Fuck, baby, you smell so good after sex." I shifted under his weight uncomfortably. It had been awhile since I had any type of sexual contact with someone, let alone a close, intimate relationship. That constant balance of giving and taking, dominance and submission had been thrown away since Paul. Watching Emmett above me, strong and demanding physically, but gentle at heart, I knew he was the man to trust with this form of intimacy.
His lips made contact with my skin and it was as if I was on fire. My entire being burned and ached for the connection we had last night. His mouth traced each muscle, tongue seeking contact as his hands held my thighs apart applying pressure against my pliable skin.
When I was finally a shivering mess, he sat back, a smug smile on his face before he swiftly lifted my lower torso, pressing that teasing mouth to the insides of my thighs. Half of my body was suspended in the air, offering and open to him. I felt uncharacteristically bashful, knowing he could see every intimate part of me and enjoyed it.
I followed his trail with the nerve receptors under the thin layer of my skin. I followed each connection with my eyes closed and my breath held. He skirted around my cock, barely skimming over my sac as he moved to the next thigh, taking his time to cover every inch of skin with his attention and care.
I had forgotten the expertise Emmett had when it came to sex. I remembered conversations with Edward about their relationship in the beginning before they met Jasper. Edward confessed –with the company of an attractive blush –that Emmett was a lover with a lot of stamina and spontaneity. He also was a bit creative and skilled when it came to accomplishing getting a partner off. It had come as a surprise to Edward originally, since they were friends first before lovers and –as he jokingly added –he assumed Emmett was all talk.
With one strong hand, Emmett was able to balance my back as he lowered me onto his lap. I hadn't noticed what exactly the other hand would be doing until I felt the wet, slick finger against my skin. I took in a sharp breath, completely floored that Emmett was capable of distracting me as he retrieved the bag, found the lube and applied it one handed.
Emmett's smug smile never left his lips as his fingers traced the sensitive skin and when the finger pressed against me and slid in with little friction, the dimples in his cheeks deepened. I fought bucking against his finger. I was completely wired and just that digit was causing me to restrain myself from losing control.
It was an odd, bombarding wave of energy swimming through me. This was something I never felt with anyone before and with Emmett, it came so easily. With a look of determination, Emmett wiggled the single digit in me before starting a slow pace of in-and-outs. I bit my lip, withholding the belting moan at the tip of my tongue and merely angled my hips so his finger could go deeper.
"You look so fucking delicious like this, baby." Emmett hummed in approval, before bending his body over mine to kiss the dip in my hip. I couldn't contain my whimpering moan then, when the morning scruff brushed against my very stiff and sensitive cock. He merely chuckled, awarding me with some fluttering butterfly kisses down the length of my upper thigh before adding another finger. I felt the stretch better now. Though not as thick in girth, the expanse of my insides brought back the feeling of the initial sting his cock elicited from my nerves. It was in no way an easy feat. He was significantly thicker than my ex and not to mention the first thing I had in me in months. But the sensation of being filled by him, hearing his breath catch as the tip of his cock nestled inside me was much more potent than the dulling ache that reverberated through my body.
"God, Em," The memory was too much. I needed to know what it felt like again, "Please, I need you." He hummed in approval, not moving away from my thighs. I drew in a breath when his nose tickled the underside of my cock, his breath a warm puff of sex on me.
"You want me stretching that tight ass out, don't you babe?" My eyes rolled back at the rough husk of his voice. My God, is this what Edward and Jasper endured during sex? I was suddenly curious to know how long they lasted with him, "You're thinking about last night. How tight you were, nearly suffocating my cock," He went on, pressing my thigh open with one, big hand, "how long it took for me to get my entire dick in. You're hungry for more, aren't you?"
I wanted to nod yes and beg, but the stubborn and frustrated lover in me resisted, "Just fuck me already!" I growled impatiently. That seemed to spark a reaction. Emmett leaned back away from my skin, a look of amusement twinkling in his eyes before he snickered like a troublemaker.
"Whatever you want, baby." He winked, reaching next to him for what I assumed was a condom. Keeping a steady pace with his fingers, Emmett pulled back, leaning on his heels. I nearly whined when his fingers slipped out of me. He noticed the crestfallen look on my face, "You're a brat." Angling my ass up on his lap, Emmett reached for one of the discarded pillows on the bed, securing it under my back with one hand. He had the multi-tasking talent of a professional. When I was more comfortable and perfectly adjusted for him, he revealed the object in his hand –the anal beads.
The string of lavender, plastic balls dangled from the small ring around Emmett's pointer finger, "You never said exactly what to fuck you with." He shrugged.
"Emmett!" I tried to scold, but it came out a soft whimper. Reaching between my thighs, Emmett worked slowly, most likely for theatrics. I watched, completely happy that this morning I had a much more vivid image of every flickering emotion across his face and all the jerks and twitches of his muscles. I had been so focused on the gentle gaze of his blue eyes and the way his body fluidly moved against mine, that I didn't notice how close the beads were until the first ball was pressing against my ass.
"Fuck!" I inhaled deeply. I had expected the toy to be put to use, but not with myself. I gasped out another breath as he eased the second ball in.
"How does that feel, baby?"
"It's good." I panted. It felt entirely different from anything else. The sensation of the increasing size of the orbs and the way he was angling it in me was enough to... "Oh Fuck!" My hips rose off the pillow just as the toy tickle against my prostate four balls in.
"There we go." He chuckled. I wanted to curse him, to tell him to go to hell, but he was already moving onto the next step. I was at a perfect level for him not to strain himself if he bent over. And that's exactly what he did, flattening his tongue and following the trail from under my sac to the tip of my cock. My body literally vibrated. His lips curved into a smile against me before he puckered them, taking the tip of my dick in his mouth, suckling me down his throat. My hand shot out, fingering his curls, waiting for him to initiate movement. He watched me with twinkling, blue eyes and pulled off my cock, his tongue circling the crown before just his lips were pressing against it. He added another ball in me.
I couldn't help the way my fingers clenched around his short curls and the sheet below me, "Em!" I huffed, attempting to maintain some level of control. He merely laughed around my cock before taking all of me in again. I couldn't contain the loud moans that belted out of my then. Emmett had a fucking talented mouth, that was no news to me, but seeing him in action now had me wondering how much more talent he had.
I was so fucking close. I chanted his name as he moved on to bobbing and slowly fucking me with the toy. It was too much, the rush of the plastic curling and pulling out of me before pressing in again. He kept them planted in me as he picked up speed and pulled out all his cock sucking tricks, but I could still feel the pressure of his grip on the toy. Finally, unable to hold off any longer, I dug my heels into the bed, as my body went rigid.
"Coming…" I warned, attempting to be polite. He hummed around me and continued his ministration just as my euphoria hit its high.
Then he did it.
I couldn't help the scream then as the beads were pulled out of me simultaneous with my release. I body wracked longer than it ever had and I was a trembling mess, trying to find focus and sort out which way was up.
I was still incapable of moving when he sat up, placing the toy aside, cupping his hand under my back before pulling the pillow from under me. I didn't protest, when he turned me over onto to my stomach, pinching my hips in the process to draw me closer to him.
I shivered feeling his cock against my ass as he leaned in next to me, and pressed his lips against my ear, "That was the hottest thing I've ever seen, baby. You look so fucking sexy coming like that." His voice was husky and deep and I couldn't help that it turned me on so fucking much I was shivering. He thought it was funny. He pulled away, shifting on the bed. I heard things being moved and placed on the nightstand. For a second, I thought that was it of our encore from last night, until I heard the familiar sound of a condom wrapper being opened. Even in my exhausted state, I felt the tingle of excitement. Within moments, his sheathed cock was pressing against my opening. With a gentle press, my relaxed ass gave in and with the help of his lubed flesh he was balls deep in no time. I drew my hands up under head, resting my forehead against them. I was flat on my stomach, my legs slightly apart. He had all the control and was going to do the work for now, seeing how he must have known I was tired.
He felt so right, up against me, inhaling my scent and pressing his lips against my neck. Despite being soft, my body pulsed to life hearing the words he reserved for me only. I angled my head awkwardly, eager for a kiss and he was more than willing to give, plunging his tongue into my mouth, intent on getting more noises out of me. I moaned into the connection and it only fueled him on more. With a growl, he pulled back onto his knees, securing his hands on my hips to bring them up. My head remained on the bed, but my back was arched up as he used the new position to go in deeper.
The satisfying sound of our skin meeting was music to my ears along with his grunts and growls. His hips picked up as he lost himself and something primal took over that moment. I rose up to the palm of my hands, finally at full strength.
"Baby, c'mere." He pleaded, wrapping an arm around my torso, until his chest was pressed against my back. I was fully seated on his dick now, but he continued with short thrusts as he lost himself, nipping and kissing my flesh as my cock was already twitching back to life, "I'm close." He whispered.
"Come in me." I demanded, needing him to let go. I wanted to see him in the light.
His hips stalled then.
I looked over my shoulder, worried that I said something wrong. It took me by surprise to catch his tender expression. He kissed my lips soundly, before moving to my chin, neck and shoulder. Seeming satisfied, his lips grazed against mine, though not in a kiss. His moved them against mine mouthing words I couldn't see, but feel.
I love you.
Then offering his lips again, he sealed the words literally with a kiss. I was in. He loved me. He loved me. It shouldn't have been a surprise, considering the risk he was taking with me here, knowing there was a chance this wouldn't work, knowing he could lose so much. It shouldn't have been a shock, but the words were the solid conformation of something I wasn't fully sold on. He had to have loved me to go through so much for me to be here.
"Em-" I wanted to say something, but the words caught in my throat.
He shook his head, silencing me, "I just wanted you to know."
I couldn't quite decipher what I was feeling, but I knew for a fact that I needed him more than ever. Leaving wasn't an option anymore. I had to be here, "Please." I begged, falling on all fours, "Show me." And he did, changing his pace and rhythm to something less primal and more loving. His lips were everywhere, his hands all-encompassing and his body in sync with mine. With his last thrusts, he whispered the words again and I buckled under them, my forehead resting on the sheets as he came. I paid no mind to my hardening cock. All I could picture was of what those words could change for my future.
He didn't have time to come down from his high as there was a muffled gasp from the doorway of the room. I turned in shock, noticing that the door was wide open, revealing Edward in the frame, cheeks ablaze and pajama bottoms tented. I was completely embarrassed, realizing how silly I looked with my ass in the air and Emmett's softening cock slipping out of me.
But of course, Emmett treated the situation as if Edward caught us playing chess. With a tired chuckle he gave Edward a lustful look, "Looks like you came just in time."
I smelled of paint and wood as I stumbled into the front door. It was a long day of calls to my lawyer and payment plans with the carpenter. I hated when my off-days felt as tiring as my work days. Yawning, I dragged my feet into the kitchen, opening the fridge and grabbing the saran wrapped sandwich Edward had left for me. I was being spoiled and wasn't going to complain this time. It paid to have all three men cooking throughout the week. Sometimes I was just too tired and lazy to get up and make my own meal.
I ate the sandwich in silence before putting the used plate in the dishwasher and grabbing a beer from the fridge. Groaning, I pinched my aching shoulders. I felt battered after spending two hours at the gym this morning, knowing my day was going to be tiring enough. I popped open the beer and took a swig, trying to calm myself. All I wanted was to sleep, cushioned against Emmett for an entire night. I felt my lips draw into a pout as I realized I wasn't going to get that for another hour or so. Emmett had contacted me earlier that day to let me know that he and Edward wouldn't be home for dinner. I tried not to sound disappointed. I had taken all his time these recent weeks. He was able to hear the sad tone anyway and suggested I do something with Jasper. I sighed, knowing Jasper had a busy day as well. He had met up with his editor earlier that day, discussing the book he had been working on the last few years. I knew how serious he was with his work and the last thing he would want to do was take a break and keep me company.
I tossed the beer in the trash after downing it in a few gulps. Feeling like a child neglected, I trudged my way to Emmett's room, coming to the conclusion that my night was officially done. I knew Emmett would be disappointed that I wouldn't be waiting for him, but as much as the day was physically tiring, it was emotionally draining as well. Dealing with the repercussions of the arson brought back that moment 2 weeks before, staring at my house in flames. It was a sad reflection of how Paul left me and it took these three men and a hateful stranger to figure it out.
Sighing, I pushed open the bedroom door. I was surprised at what I saw there. Jasper sat with his back against the headboard, a massive art book in his lap and a beer bottle in his hand, "How was your day, Jake?" He lifted his eyes to meet mine as a charming smile spread on his face.
I was a bit taken back. By no means was Emmett's space off limits. On more than one occasion, Edward had slept with us and Jasper came in to talk or flirt, but never had it just been him alone, using the room as his own, "Are you waiting for Emmett?"
He shook his head, "I talked to him a few hours ago. Edward and Emmett won't be home for a while, so I was actually waiting for you."
"Did you want to talk about something or…?" Jasper was still an enigma. He was the polar opposite of Emmett when it came to conversing, but somehow he always remained engaged. I didn't know how he did it –make his presence known in the room without saying a word. I cocked my head, taking in his form on the bed. Well, I guess it was much like the way he was handling himself now.
He patted the bed, "Come relax." The invite was all I needed. My body ached for the bed. I kicked out of my shoes while simultaneously lifting my shirt over my head. Emmett had a bare chest rule for the bed when it came to me, so it was a habit. Not wanting to throw it back on and send the wrong message to Jasper, I climbed in next to him. His eyes roamed my chest appreciatively before he spoke.
"I thought you'd need some company." Was it me or was his tone suggestive?
"You don't have to Jasper. I know you want to relax." I didn't want to turn down his company, but I didn't want to cross lines when it came to Jasper. There was still a lot I had to learn.
"I do," He agreed, " All the more reason to be here with you."
I didn't know what to think of that. He shook his head in amusement at my raised brow before opening his arm in invitation. With only a moment's hesitation I slid in, wrapping an arm behind his back and resting the other on his thigh. With my head on his shoulder, I got a better look at the book on his lap. Jasper released a small, content sigh, placing the beer on the nightstand to free his hand. We sat there for about an hour or so as I watched the pictures and read the captions with each captured image of art. The position I was in was taking a toll on my body. I groaned, lifting my head and rolling my shoulders.
"Hmm," Jasper examined me for a second before closing the big book. He placed it aside before giving me his full attention, "Let me take care of you." He made a space between his legs on the bed and gestured for me to come closer.
"Jasper, you don't have to-"
When I didn't move, he took my hand and gently tugged, "Let it happen, beautiful." He whispered gently. Letting go of some of the clinging doubt I had, I crawled between the border of his legs backwards until my palms were on his thighs. Pressing his lips against the nape of my neck, his hands fell on my shoulder and squeezed into a massage. It felt perfect. My head lolled to my chest and I groaned in complete ecstasy as he kept up with his talented fingers, moving them along my upper arm muscles and mid-back.
"You feel so fucking good." I moaned freely, unconsciously gripping his thighs. He hummed behind me and his hands continued their way down my back until the tips of his fingers were pressing against the curve of my hips. I was now completely peaceful with my back pressed against his chest and he took advantage, moving his hands to the front of my jeans only to cup my cock through the fabric. I didn't expect it, but it didn't keep me from bucking into his touch.
"Fuck." I panted, only gripping his legs tighter.
His fingers hovered over my fly, "Can I, Jake?"
He didn't need to ask, "Fuck yeah." Taking my approval, Jasper worked his fingers effortlessly, pulling down the zipper and unbuckling my pants before they were tucked under my boxer briefs, cupping my hardening length. His breath was a pant against my cheek and I yelped out in shock when he bucked his hard dick against my lower back, "J-Jasper," I cried, just as I started to stroke me slowly. I was already growing rapidly in his hand. I watched enraptured as he kept up his movements until I was fully hard. He stopped only then, staring at me.
"Is this okay?" Who asks a question like that after getting me this hard?
"You have got to be kidding me?" I groaned. He chuckled into my neck.
"I'll take that as a yes." He gently pressed his hand against shoulders, "Can I touch more of you?"
"Yes." His eyes trailed down to my jeans, my hardness hovering over my belly before his eyes met mine again. It finally registered that he wanted me to get undressed. I sat up and kicked out of my jeans. Jasper watched in amusement as I hurried to get the damned pants off. I climbed back to him. I was eager to show some appreciation for his assisting masturbatory skills. It was still new kissing Jasper, but I was immediately coming around to it. It was different from Emmett's aggressive and needy kisses or Edward's gentle full, pink lipped smacks. Jasper tasted as earthy as the air breathing through the coast trees. And that tobacco…I was never a smoker myself and I usually detested the smell of it, but on Jasper it was caramel on a plain vanilla scoop of ice cream.
"You taste good." Jasper spoke before I could.
"You took the words right out of my mouth." I responded, kissing his lips again. With firm hands, he turned me around again so my back facing him. He slide sideways towards the drawer on Emmett's side of the bed and reached for the used lube bottle I had seen quite often these last two weeks. He capped the bottle, pouring a penny size amount into the palm of his hand before sheathing my cock without warning. My head fell back against his shoulder and I whined in frustration when he decided to slide those slick fingers down to my balls, rolling them in his open palm for good measure. I was going completely crazy with the foreplay.
"Please," Emmett's booming voice chuckled from the door, "We're all eager for the show."
"Oh God!" I covered my eyes, hoping that would bleach out the knowledge that standing not a few feet from the bed were both Edward and Emmett, watching us with hungry eyes. I also felt that twinge of guilt. I hadn't thought about it with Jasper touching and talking to me the way he was, but I had never been intimate like this by myself with either Jasper or Edward.
"It's okay." Jasper assured me, pressing his lips to my temple before combing his fingers through my hair.
"It is, baby." Emmett agreed, walking towards us. He was completely serious, no hint of doubt or anger. In fact, he seemed damn proud.
I groaned, feeling the embarrassment build, "You did it again, didn't you?" I growled, though I couldn't be angry. Jasper didn't trick me and I knew his massage had been genuine. But this screamed 'Emmett Mischief'.
"No," He gave Edward a look in which Edward returned with a pink tinge to his cheeks, "But I did tell him you would be pouty when you arrived home."
"I wasn't pouty." I pouted at him.
Both Jasper and Emmett held back chuckles. My eyes landed on Edward and I had to bite back a groan. His pink lips were moist and little pants of air escape the swollen, parted flesh. I could tell with lips like that he had shared quite a long and rough kiss with Emmett. And the idea of what else they must have done turned me on. My cock twitched in my lap, causing both Emmett's and Edward's eyes to shoot to it.
"You look hungry enough to eat something, babe." Emmett smirked at Edward with his arms crossed over his chest, "And we just had dinner."
"Do you want to come over here, sugar?"
Edward nodded mutely, biting his blood engorged lips before walking over to us. He hesitantly sat on the bed next to me, eyes never leaving my cock. As if giving an order to Jasper's hand, it began to trail back up my length, stroking me slowly. The whimper that left Edward's lips was fucking adorable and hot. I wanted so much for him to put those lips on my dick.
"God, Fuck!" The profanity belted out of me before I could rein it in. The sparkling emerald of Edward's eyes shone as he watched Jasper keep his pace. I knew without a doubt that Edward was very willing to play out my fantasy. So who was I to deny him, me Emmett and Jasper that pleasure?
"Edward," I couldn't mask the husky timbre in my voice, "Please, can you-?" and like a little scamp, Edward threw his polo over his head. I focused my attention back to Emmett's as the bronze haired boy undressed. He watched with love in his eyes, but didn't move from where he stood. Once Edward was between my legs, he shyly raised his eyes to meet mine. Gathering some courage, he leaned over my shoulder giving Jasper a gentle kiss, then pulled back a bit to press his lips against my jaw, then my own mouth, parting his lips for me, allowing some access. Our connection escaladed when his long fingers scoured my hair, tightening around locks, before moving down the nape of my neck.
"I want to taste you." He whined as he pulled away.
"I want you to so bad." He backed onto his knees, letting me see his entire torso. I hadn't really seen much bare skin of Jasper or Edward other than when we went swimming. With the exception of pool time, they kept themselves conserved and covered in pajama bottoms perhaps for the sake of my comfort, but to my surprise Edward sat before me with his knees slightly parted, providing the most delicious image of his half-awakened cock, slim pale torso and muscular thighs. I didn't have mental energy to even wonder why he completely stripped naked and I didn't care, because right then, his fingers were closing around Jasper's. I watched in awe as they stroked together, fingers slipping and sliding along my lube and pre-cum slickened cock. Meeting my lips one more time, Edward leaned down giving a gentle kiss to the tip of my dick. He lifted his head slightly, licking his lips and giggling.
"Strawberry?" He chortled.
"E-edible l-lube." I stammered. He leaned over me again, this time gathering the pre-cum from the slit of my dick, only to properly spread it along my crown with circular motions of his wet muscle. The sensation was unbelievable. My hips bucked up on their own accord and he followed the movement, closing his wetness around more of me. My head was thrown back again and Jasper took advantage, peppering kisses along my throat and shoulder. He removed his hand from my length for Edward to take me as he wanted, but to my surprise his fingers threaded through and gripped the reddish locks and he used that as a handling for guiding Edward down and providing a pace. Like anything before, Edward took it with ease. And if that wasn't hot enough, those pretty green eyes met mine, shining with lust and need. It was such a sight witnessing his pink, heart shaped lips embracing my cock with those eyes watching me. Just like my fantasy.
And it hit me like a damn freight train. Jasper secured behind me, whispering in my ear, kissing at my exposed skin and Edward between my legs like this. It smelled like a plan from Emmett, but there was no room to complain. It felt too fucking good. My hips jerked under the immense torture of Edward's lips and tongue. Just watching the way Jasper's calloused fingers pet his lover before guiding him down was too fucking much.
My attention was only torn away from them when I saw Emmett standing at the foot of the bed, his hand palming his cock through his jeans. My mouth watered. He burned a trail to where Jasper and I were, giving both of us a generous kiss before reaching into the nightstand. My heart picked when I saw the string of condoms. What did he have planned?
But it was quickly forgotten. My eyes rolled to the back of my head when Edward pulled away only to suckle my sac into his mouth, letting them go with animated pops before returning to the head of my dick again. Emmett was back at the foot of the bed, fingering the buttons off of his shirt before the fabric parted and slipped off his fit figure. He watched us with a look of pride, undoing his jeans and stepping out of them. He climbed on the bed after, kissing up the exposed knots along Edward's spine before giving a final peck to the hand that held Edward against my dick.
Emmett reached over for the discarded bottle of lube, coating two fingers. He reached behind Edward, running a line down his ass before breaching his hole. I knew that's exactly what he did when Edward's moan reverberated through my cock and up to my spine.
"Shit!" I was already close. I didn't need Emmett pushing things along so soon. Keeping his eyes on me, Emmett finger fucked Edward slowly and with patience just as Edward suckled me deeper in his throat, suddenly eager to get me off.
I was damn close.
Hallowing out his cheeks, Edward went to town, bobbing enthusiastically, greedily making noises that drove me to the edge before he suddenly stilled. I whined, feeling neglected and frustrated because I was nearly there. Jasper's hand had dropped and Edward was away from my cock, rising to his knees with the assistance of Emmett's strong hands. My lover leaned over, whispering words I couldn't hear into his ear, before snickering and placing gentle kisses on his cheek. Repositioning himself onto all fours, Edward bowed his head much like I had done my second time with Emmett. It was fascinating seeing my lover so intimate with Edward. A month ago, I would have cringed, felt jealous and a bit uncomfortable, but sitting in Jasper's arms, his scruff pressed beside my cheek, I knew this was different while we watched, while we were together.
Edward hummed –in pain or pleasure; I wasn't sure –as Emmett slowly filled him, gentle as he was with me our first time. Jasper's hand was claiming me as his own once again, stroking my saliva coated cock as we both watched. Edward lifted his head, bottom lip hidden behind teeth when his eyes met mine.
"I want you to come in my mouth, Jake." He moaned, before raising himself higher to take me in his hand as well. Once again both men stroked me until I was ready to pop. Then finally, showing some pity, those pretty lips engulfed my dick, suckling and giving it the same treatment he had before being taken by Emmett. And it was like he hadn't stopped. My legs were trembling uncontrollably I was reaching back to fist the luscious waves of the blonde nestled behind me.
My stomach tingled, my toes curled and all it took was the drawn out moan around me when Emmett bucked his hips just right into the tight, willing body, "I'm c-com-" I tried to warn. Edward drew his head back just enough for the tip of my cock to be in his mouth. His hand was back, giving me long strokes while his tongue went to work. And like that, an explosion erupted in me and I was seeing stars.
The electricity in the room was so fucking strong, it felt dangerous.
Edward swallowed all of what I had to offer before pulling back to lick his lips.
"God damn." I mumbled more to myself than anyone else in the room. Unable to hold himself up with weak arms, Edward crumbled against my thigh, moaning and arching his ass into Emmett's thrusts. Jasper gave a hum of approval behind me. I knew he needed his release. Reaching behind me at an awkward angle, I attempted to ease him in any way I could, but it was hard to move with Edward in my lap.
"It's okay, beautiful." Jasper whispered in my ear, "I'm fine." I cocked my head and offered him my gratitude. He took it and gave me the affection and love he always supplied his lovers. Jasper, of all the men in this house, the enigma chipped away the last of my doubt.
Edward was a writhing mess coming not moments after, screaming Emmett's name as he possessed him in every way he had with me each night. Emmett soon followed. He showered Edward's body with attention before pulling out and trashing the condom I hadn't notice him slip on. Emmett came back to bed, climbing in with a very wide smile on his face, pulling Jasper in for a hungry kiss, "Don't think I don't know how hard that cock is right now."
"Darlin', I'll be fine-" But of course, Emmett wasn't having any of it.
"I think I'm going to need some assistance from the boys."
The suggestion aroused Edward from where he lay on my lap. He gave my thigh a tender kiss, "I'm in only if Jake is."
My body was still tingling from my orgasm and I wasn't sure I could handle another one, but after what Jasper aided in tonight, I would have no problem repaying, "I'm in."
"Night, honey." I chuckled, giving him one last kiss as I attempt to get him off my lap.
"Come to bed with us, please." He tried again, bouncing his ass on me.
"Jasper is waiting for you." I whispered against his lips, hoping that would be enough. There was still one big thing to do tonight.
"I need you both too." He pouted. If there was any relationship that was growing as fast with me as Emmett's was, it was Edward's. There was no doubt a different connection, as there was with Jasper, but where I had great chemistry with Emmett and mental compatibility with Jasper, there was much more of a young romance and friendship with Edward. In the last few weeks, we had become what Emmett so annoyingly titled the "giggle twins". We stayed up later on the weekends watching movies or going on late dates and we were constantly playing or goofing around. He had that nurturing nature that I always wanted from Paul, yet a nostalgic reminder of my juvenile adventures when I was a kid.
Not to mention he was fucking sexy.
I gave in to his pleas, "I promise after I handle a few things back at my house, I'll get Emmett and we'll meet you in bed. Okay?" It was going to be a crowded bed tonight. I hoped their massive mattress would fit us. His lips puckered in a pout, before he nodded, finally climbing off of me.
"Goodnight, sweetie." He whispered, leaning over the back of the couch to kiss me one last time. I watched as he disappeared out of sight and heaved a sigh before rising up myself.
It was time.
Silently following Edward's trail, I stopped short of their room and went into Emmett's. He was waiting for me, distractedly combing through a schedule he had brought back from the gym.
"You ready?" I asked. He closed the book, looking up from it with a devilish glint in his eyes.
"And where are we sneaking off to?" It wasn't his first time asking. That morning when we woke up, I asked that he stay up after everyone went to bed. There was something I needed to show him. He pleaded and begged to know what it was and after making me come twice that morning, he was still unable to get it out of me.
We left the house as silent as possible and I escorted him back to my drive-way where my car waited.
"We're leaving to go somewhere?" His interest was piqued. I didn't respond and climbed in. He followed. Once inside, I started and we were off. The drive was as long as I expected, though I missed the wind and the feel of the engine under me. Reaching between the console, I took Emmett's hand in mine and silently asked for his patience.
When we finally pulled up to the familiar gathering of trees, I parked to the side of the road in an attempt not to be easily seen by any passing car. I got a raised eyebrow but no words when I shut off the engine, "Follow me, baby?" I asked, but I knew I didn't have to. He was willing to follow me anywhere even if it meant away from a night in the arms of the men who waited for us at home.
We climbed out and walked the length of the path that only my bike could take out. When I got to the opening, I looked over my shoulder and offered my hand. He took it and instantly the hum ran through us like a current. He stepped in from behind me before finally being exposed to the view of the open water, a twinkling horizon and trees. I could hear his breath catch.
"Emmett," I started, "This was my only solace when I was in high school, when I was with Paul. And until recently, this was the only place I felt at peace, clear-minded."
Breathing in deeply as if taking in the air of my lifetime comfort, Emmett stepped in behind me, wrapping his strong arms around my waist and resting his head on my shoulder, "Thank you for showing this to me." He whispered softly in my ear.
I turned in his arms, "Thank you for giving me two beautiful men and a happy home." I answered with full sincerity, "Emmett…" his name hung on the Pacific air as I tried to piece together the words I pictured saying the night before. The revelation came to me right after sucking him off in the shower. He held me after, wet and soapy explaining how he'd hope I could treat him to that every night for the rest of my life. And I felt like an idiot, an ass, a moron. It had been sitting under my skin ever since he said those words, aching to be brought to his attention, yet he didn't ask for it, didn't expect it at all. Emmett never doubted if I had it in me, but he said it to me with every gesture. And I owed him the truth.
"I love you." It wasn't as loud and proclaiming as I pictured it, but his dimples deepened all the same. His lips were everywhere before I could even continue speaking.
"Fuck, I've been waiting for this moment, babe." He said with glee, "I love you so fucking much." Pressing my palm to his chest, I allowed a small space between us as we kissed. I still had one more thing to say.
"I needed this for you first. I care for Edward and Jasper, it's just-"But once again he didn't let me finish.
"Baby, this is a relationship that involves four men. It's not going to happen all at once."
"I know, but-" I argued, but he cupped my face.
"This is a solid beginning for all of us, babe." He pecked my lips, "One step at a time."
It was still so much to take in, but he was right. The best way to do this was one step at a time. I cared for them all, but I was getting to know them, find myself with each of them at different paces and intensities. This wasn't a race of falling in love, it was an understanding of how deep and strong that love was and could be. And it was definitely a solid beginning.
AN: If the ending seems a bit open-ended, it is. As stated, its the beginning of their relationship, so there are many trials and tribulations (as well as some firsts to overcome) we did not see that will follow after.
In unrelated news, the voting poll (found in my livejournal. Link in my profile ) is going to be officially closed June 26th. If you have a livejournal account and haven't voted yet, be sure to do so. Remember, you're voting for what story I will write for the summer. You have some interesting choices with different couples and genres to choose from!
Thanks so much for reading, guys. I'm eager to hear what you have to say and I read and enjoyed each and every review I received to this story. If you have any questions regarding this story or any others, contact me via PM or Twitter and I'll get back to as soon as I can!