I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING TWILIGHT! (JUST MY OWN THOUGHTS AND FANTASY'S!...LOL!)
One-shot story. Set a few weeks after The Cullen's and the Wolf Pack kill Victoria and her Newborn Army. PLS R&R!
From Edward's POV (Point Of View)
Bella and I were watching a movie at my house while Alice, Esme and Rose were going over the details of mine and Bella's wedding. Bella was snuggled against me on the couch, intently watching 'Resident Evil.' It wasn't my favorite movie, but Bella wanted to watch it-and what Bella wants, Bella gets-I was staring blindly at the television screen when Alice had a vision.
"Edward...we need to talk, in private." Bella said not meeting my eyes, rubbing her arm awkwardly. "There is something I need to tell you...I...just please come." She asked motioning for me to follow her up stairs. Once we were in our room alone Bella's eyes met mine with a desperate pleading.
-end of vision-
"That's all I could see Edward!" Alice's voice cried in my head. "But the wedding will still go on." Alice voice sounded sad and some how guilty."
"It's all right Alice, I will deal with it when it comes...what ever it is." I whispered to low for Bella to hear. I kissed Bella's forehead lightly and heard her content little sigh, mixed with some other emotion I couldn't quite grasp.
Jasper walked through the living room, picking up a magazine he had no intention reading; it was his way of reading Bella's emotions, with out her actually knowing. Quickly darting past the television screen, he turned the corner to where the girls were.
"I don't know why, but Bella is feeling some sort of guilt and maybe even shame and disbelief. It makes no sense to me at all. Why would she feel so guilty over?"
"I have no idea." I said-again to low for Bella to hear-and sighed in frustration; frustration for not being able to read Bella's thoughts. I wanted to know so badly, why my Bella, why my angel was hurting so badly.
"Is something wrong Edward?" Bella asked stroking my face to comfort me, and I felt guilty; holding in a shutter. I was supposed to be comforting her, though what ever she was going through...alone.
"Nothing is wrong my love, it's just Alice and her mental screeching and squealing, over the wedding arrangement." I lied to her smoothly-feeling even more guilty for lying to her-I smiled her favorite crooked grin and pecked her lightly on her lips. Her heart leached in her chest and I smiled.
I could feel the tension in the house and so could Bella, she began to shift and move to get comfortable, she got more and more fidgety and finally kicked off the blanket that was keeping her warm. Bella paused the movie and watched as Alice's vision came to life in front of me.
"Edward...we need to talk, in private." Bella said not meeting my eyes, rubbing her arm awkwardly. "There is something I need to tell you...I...just please come." She asked motioning for me to follow her up stairs to our room. Bella's heart was racing in her chest as we climbed the stair case to our room. Bella went to straight to the bed and waited for me to shut the door and sit with her.
"Bella, love, what is upsetting you?"I asked softly, pleadingly. I cupped Bella's face in my hands gently forcing her to meet my gaze. "Bella, what ever it is...you know you can tell me anything. I just want to know what is causing so much discomfort."
That desperate pleading look came into her eyes, asking me to understand what ever she wanted to tell me. Bella frowned for a moment, turning her eyes away from me. She was figuring out how to start her conversation.
I released her face to brush the silent tears that fell from her eyes. I was not only confused, but slowly loosing my mind. Bella knew that her silence was painful for me, but she just didn't know how to start. I kissed her tears away before cradling her in my arms. My thumb stroked her hand in comfort and she sighed sniffling.
"Edward...do you remember...when we were at Charlies place, when you told me you were going hunting to power up for the battle."
"Yes, of course I do love." I tried to keep my voice light and tender, but my natural instinct to go stiff, gave me away.
"Do you remember we had the conversation about...how...human blood made you stronger?"Bella whispered, almost to low for me to hear.
"Yes, what about it love? Bella you can ask or tell me anything, I won't judge you Bella." I told her lovingly tightening my grip around her fragile little body, that shook lightly in my arms.
"Well I didn't tell you at the time...to scared to see or hear your reaction, to my conversation, so I just left it. I was horrified with myself for even thinking about what I was going to tell you. But as the days went on and I thought about it more and more. I tried to justify my thoughts, but everything that I came up with, led me back to you. How much I love you, how much I need you...how much I would be able to live through..."
"Bella, love; I don't understand. What is it you are trying to tell me?"
"Before you agreed to stay with me, when you told me that human blood made you stronger...I could and would let you do it. If meant keeping you safe and alive, if gave you a better chance to win...to come back to me. I thought for days and days over the ramifications of what could come of it, breaking the treaty or it meaning you had to stay away from me for a few more days. As long as it was someone bad." Bella burst into tears in my arms.
I could not believe my ears, nor could anyone in the house. Bella was wiling to let me hunt humans, if it meant me being kept safe and alive. I held her tighter to my chest as I rocked her back and forth on the bed.
"You would willing let me hunt humans...and look the other way?" I asked incredulous. I was completely floored, flabbergasted, I was in shock and awe. Awe of this amazing human creature that would forgive for taking a human life and look the other way!
"Yes, I would. I'm horrible!" Bella wailed in my arms.
"You are not horrible love. You are acting on instinct, though you are human and I am not. Would it be any different of you were a vegetarian and slipped once and ate a big fat greasy New York steak? Though they are very, very different analogies and very different ways of sustaining nourishment. Meat is meat Bella; I just eat a very different type of meat. If it meant that you had to eat meat to gain muscle mass or gain lost weight, I would not think badly of it love. I will be totally honest, I am shocked beyond belief; but I do not think you are horrible for thinking it love. I do how ever hold you even higher on my pedestal. IF I were to ever slip, I know now I would not be the monster I always feared I was. Not when I have you to tell me different, that as human as you are...could forgive me and look the other way and loose no respect for me. You have no clue of how this had made me feel Bella...for the better."
"So your not mad or upset with me?" Bella asked sniffling meeting my eyes. The desperate pleading in her eyes was now gone and replaced with relief and understanding.
"God no love, I wish you had told me sooner though, to keep this locked up for weeks Bella. It's not healthy. I love you Bella and there is nothing in this world that could make me love you any less...only more."
"I love you too Edward!" Bella sighed in deep relief; quickly after her sigh Bella drifted to sleep in my arms.
I gently placed Bella on the bed and pulled the blankets over her to keep her warm, flicked off the light and closed the door softly behind me to meet my awaiting family down stairs.
"If any of you say anything to Bella, about this conversation...and I mean any one of you, I swear, you will regret it. It took a lot of guts for her to tell me that and I will not have her hurt over it." I threatened darkly glaring at Emmett.
"Edward, none of us would ever, hearing her tell you that; that she could be so forgiving, especially after her birthday." I flinched and saw Jasper flinch out of the corner of my eye. "To know that she would and could turn her head the other way...is more than any of us deserve. If anything, it has made us love her even more." Carlisle said lovingly. Pride and acceptance and love were radiating out of his thoughts towards his newest daughter.
Esme and Alice nodded in agreement. Rosalie was not only shocked, but had gained a new found respect for Bella, Emmett agreed with the rest of them, then that left Jasper.
"I just don't understand it! How could she be so forgiving." Jasper hissed frustrated; frustrated with his own weak control.
"Bella loves us, and though she doesn't exactly understand...does it really matter Jasper? Just because she is human, we have forgiven one another for our own slips on human consumption. Why should Bella be any different?"I pointed out gently.
"Edward...Edward..." Bella whimpered in her sleep.
I darted up the stairs to our room and went straight to the bed and quickly and gently picked Bella up in my arms and laid her on my chest as we lay together on the bed. I covered her with the blankets so she didn't get cold.
"Shhhh...I am here my love, dream happy dreams my Bella." I whispered low and gentle; Bella sighed content in her sleep murmuring 'I love you.' before becoming silent for the rest of the night.