What is a monster? Some, if not most people, would say that it is a creature that lurks under the bed, ready to drag unsuspecting kids under and devour them alive. Others may think it is a man, and only rarely a woman, born of sin, only to do wrong in this world, unable to receive or accept help from good hearts; a person who does truly evil things to innocent people with no reason at all.

The truth is, there are monsters everywhere, in every one of us. They lay dormant there, until the time is right for their awakening. And when that time comes, we become something else, we all think we have a reason for what we do, and to some extent those reasons are justified. But not everyone will agree, or even believe the reasons; all they hear is excuses for why or how it began. And so, the monsters have to live with the transformation.

For me, that moment of realization and acceptance came a long time ago, only the change was much more literal.

Who I was, and still am in a sense before that descent into chaos I had to endure, is still the only identity I hold sacred. Alex Mercer was renowned genetic scientist, who in a fit of delusional paranoia, created his end and the end of millions, he died; I died.

But it was not the end, for soon I, Alex Mercer, the Blacklight Virus, ZEUS, whatever I am called, was born from that dying man and spawned into a world that showed no warmth or light for me. The mistakes of my previous life, my other half and counterpart, were doomed to haunt me forever.

There are days where I wish I could have been a benefactor for the people of Manhattan, to apologize for all the wrongs done by the hands I bear. But that can never happen, for it is too late to help the dead and dying. So many things never done, so many possibilities wasted, so many mistakes.

Relooking on the past, I knew there might have been hope if I had stepped in. But I cannot hide who or what I truly am inside. They would have all fled at the sight of me.

As the Blacklight Virus, I feel no humanity. My only instincts, to consume, destroy, and infect, have made me feel such a rush of power, that if I am not careful, I could get lost in the insanity of it all. Showing no clemency, for none was ever shown to me, I render all that opposes me to a stain of red on a nearby surface. My surrounding are ugly and dull to my eyes, just as the people were like ants, easily crushed under my heel.

But I am not completely gone, though I struggle to hold on to my grasp of what is right or wrong; for I am still Alex Mercer inside, though as Alex Mercer, I am just as merciless in my view of the world, and even though I have some humanly attachments left, those bonds are wearing thin.

This is all Blackwatch's fault. No matter how much blame I put on myself, Blackwatch will always be the one reason for everything bad that has happened.

I don't care how much supercilious hatred I show toward them. They deserve every last ounce of pain I will give them, and have given them! They kill their own kind, young and old, for the sake of a few feet of ground, or to take me down, a useless task. Ultimately, they think themselves superior to everyone else. It's hard to think that they are a division of the American forces.

I don't think it's surprising what happened after I saved the city from being leveled by a nuclear warhead. Blackwatch's finite hold over the Infection was expected; they had been too confident and proud. When the Infection seemed to deteriorate, the military, what was left of the civilians, Blackwatch, they all began to remiss in the thought that it was all over. Bloodtox levels began to dearth and that was when the Infection struck and struck hard, rearing it's head up from a slumber and spewing the consequences on the fools.

The Infection spread over the Red Line and into almost all of Manhattan. No one could escape the cloud of destruction, save for my company, Blackwatch, and me. The local government had become venal and was seized by the Blackwatch officials in a state of martial law. Gathering anyone who was uninfected, they created one big stronghold at the edge of the island in Battery Park. It has since begun to expand, just as the virus had.

Now the Infected run rampant through the streets of the big apple, tens of thousands of them, faces lost and misshapen. However, they plod along with no real purpose, no other drive then instinct. Elizabeth Greene had been the strategy and brain of the viral body, the one who was the source of the Infection, the queen of the Hive Mind. I ended her life painfully.

For the longest time, my drive had been to discover my past. I learned Alex Mercer had a sister, a girlfriend, and an unappealing life; but sadly, that's just it, I am not Alex Mercer truthfully, and that was the most painful thing to discover. I finally know everything, so what is my purpose now?

The answer to that is simple. My sister Dana, if I can even count her as that, was injured sometime in my quest for truth, and is now in a coma. Dr. Ragland, who had aided me several times, is taking care of her. I'm trusting the Doc with her life, for he is the only one I can trust.

So what can I do now?

Since I know the truth, I know there are no sides to choose. I am my own side. I fight the Infection and Blackwatch, basically anyone who gets in my way.

My name is Alex Mercer, codename ZEUS.

I'm a monster.

I am the Virus.

And I can never leave this island until my work is done.

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