Hey fanfictionaires! I know I should be working on my other stories but this bunny was very insistent that I write about it!
Disclaimer: It's sad, ('tis 'tis) I do not own the marvelousness that is Wicked :(
Roofs and Ladies Undergarments
Picture this, Elphaba, Fiyero, Galinda and Avaric in bed, together.
'I can't believe I let you people drag me into this.' Said Elphaba looking over at Fiyero lying next to her.
'Oh, I don't know, I'm quite enjoying myself.' Said the prince with a cheeky grin making Elphaba roll her eyes and go back to ceiling staring.
'I agree with Fifi!' squealed Galinda, attempting to raise her hand in agreement but failing because they were attached. Even though it was practically the middle of the night she was loud and bubbly as ever, making everyone wince and shush her.
Avaric just snored.
'How the hell can that idiot sleep?' asked the green girl who was attached to Fiyero.
'I'm not sure how he does it but he's doing it.' Said Fiyero who was attached to Galinda (much to his annoyance and her pleasure).
'You know guys,' started Galinda, making Fiyero look over at her and Elphaba sit up slightly to look over Fiyero, 'We would never have found out so many great things about each other if we hadn't done this!' The blonde exclaimed, too loud again, trying to gesture again with her arms but not succeeding because they had a prior engagement.
Avaric still snored, attached to Galinda.
It was a bright and sunny day at Shiz University, the birds were singing, the lawn was mowed and Fiyero was hanging upside down from a tree branch by his toes. Luckily for the prince, his lowly roommate happened to be walking by.
'Hej!' called Fiyero, just hanging on to consciousness as all the blood in his body rushed to his head, 'Coog du helb me down Av?'
Tut tutting to himself, Avaric strolled over to Fiyero taking his time and said, 'What did you do to upset the green bean now?'
'Warn't Erfaba dat pu me a ere.' Fiyero tried to say through the haze that was his mind and turn and see what his roomie was doing when he plummeted to the ground with a yelp and a thud.
'Let me guess, you stole her class notes?' Fiyero shook his head, 'Set them on fire?' Head shake, 'boiled them for you morning tea?' Mc Head Shake meal, 'Made origami?' Head Shake Sigh combo deluxe with extra cheese and large frozen coke ' …Wait, huh? The artichoke didn't put you up there?' Face palm supreme, 'Who did?'
'Nyada da Horigabil,' slurred the scandalicious one groggily as he rubbed his head to try and stop it throbbing.
'What! No, not Madame Morrible.' Said the prince coming back to his senses, 'Ne-' he stopped and glanced around to check if the said person was in range, 'Nessa the Horrible put me up there.'
'Nessa? But she's in a wheelchair.' Offering his hand for the prince to get up.
'You'd be seriously surprised at what that girl can do in that wheelchair of hers.' Said Fiyero taking the proffered hand.
'Why'd she put you up there.' Asked Avaric.
'You don't want to know, but it includes Nessa's sparkle shoes, deodorant, a jet ski and Madame Morrible's garden gnome collection.'
'Madame Morrible has a garden gnome collection?' asked Avaric not at all puzzled by the appearance of a jet ski in the conversation.
'Mmhmm, specifically Mr Toddlewaddle.' Said Fiyero walking away from the conversation to go find his shoes that he had last seen on the roof of the library.
Elphaba was in the library reading peacefully when Fiyero walked in barefoot and red faced. She barely glanced up as he when to the window and opening looking up at the roof and walked back into the library. She still didn't look up as Fiyero walked out of the library and arrived a few seconds later holding a large ladder and a length of lead piping. She only looked up when he walked out and came back with a tub of ice-cream, a large bottle of ginger beer and a long beget with a rubber duck balancing on top.
Not caring what these things were for she immediately recognised the matter of rule breaking going down, 'No food or drink in the library Fiyero.' She said as he passed by once more, 'and I have a funny feeling that ladders are against the rules too… and rubber duckies.'
'Oh, but I need to get my shoes down from the roof.' Said Fiyero putting the stuff he was carrying down by the window.
'And all that stuff will help you how?' asked Elphaba pointing to the pile of stuff that had accumulated on the floor near the window.
'Well, I'm always prepared for anything.'
Elphaba got up and walked over to the pile of stuff and gingerly picked up a pair of rather lady like underwear with a smirk, 'And these will help you how? Are you planning on get all that stuff and a friend up onto the roof?'
Fiyero yelped at the sight of the underwear trying to snatch them back but Elphaba danced away just in the nick of time, 'Those aren't mine or anything! I uh, have no idea where they came from!' said Fiyero taking a lunge.
'Riiiiight…' smirked Elphaba as she saw the panic on Fiyero's face and dodged quickly away.
And so the pair performed an odd dance as Fiyero grabbed for the "manly" underwear and Elphaba keeping them just out of reach. That is until Galinda arrived on the scene.
You can imagine what Galinda was thinking when she arrived (no wait, you probably can't… oh well) seeing her best friend holding a thong away from her desperate boyfriend. She simply stood for a moment in shock as the pair continued to dance. Finally finding her voice she spoke, or more shrieked, 'What the hell are you two doing!' But of course, she didn't say 'hell' now did she?
The pair froze, or attempted to freeze in Fiyero's case as he was mid lunge and in an act to stop himself crashing he held out his hand to stop himself hitting Elphaba, which caused the two to fall unceremoniously to the floor, Fiyero on top with his head to fall against a rather inappropriate place on the green girl's chest.
She looked down in shock at him for a moment then managed, 'Do you mind?' Smiling sheepishly Fiyero got off her and offered her his hand, into which she promptly thrust the undergarment and got up herself. Hurriedly he stuffed them into his pocket before anyone else saw.
Putting her hands on her hips, Galinda looked at them expectantly, 'Well?' the guilty pair shuffled like naughty school children under a teachers gaze
Elphaba, forever the good little child, cracked almost immediately, 'Fiyero was trying to get his shoes off the roof.' Fiyero just nodded.
'He was going to get his shoes off the roof with a thong?' asked Galinda incredulously.
'And a beget, some lead piping, ice-cream, a bottle of ginger beer and-'
'Don't forget Ducky.' Said Fiyero having somehow conjured up the rubber duck from nowhere held it up and gave it a squeeze making the little thing squeak and squeal.
'Wow,' said Elphaba, mildly impressed, 'That thing sounds just like Galinda in her sleep.'
'Really?' said Fiyero looking at the duck and giving it another squeeze.
'Yeah sounds exactly like that,' Elphaba then proceeded to do an impression of Galinda in her sleep, somehow pulling off the sound and the dopy smile that was permanently plastered across sleeping Galinda's face perfectly.
'Hello I'm standing right here you know!' said the blonde… she was promptly ignored.
Fiyero laughed, 'You do that so well.'
'Yeah, it's not like I stay up at night and watch her sleep or anything…' Shifty eyes and awkward silence followed.
'So…' said Fiyero, breaking the silence that had been too long and too awkward for everyone's comfort, 'What were you coming to tell us Galinda?'
'Well!' exclaimed Galinda snapping back to her usual bubbly self, 'A good friend of mine in the Psychology class-' Elphaba and Fiyero sniggered .
'She needs friends in that area.' whispered Fiyero to Elphaba and they both sniggered again, the comment sailed straight over Galinda's head.
'-has asked me to help them with a social experiment and they need four people and I thought you two would like to help me!'
The two askees glanced at each other, any such suggestion from Galinda was more of an order than a question, so both grudgingly agreed.
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