Edward was out hunting with the Jasper, Carlisle and Emmett, for the day, and Esme, Alice and Rosalie were shopping. I decided to stay behind to catch up on the house work at Charlie's, even though I didn't live there anymore. His laundry always needed to be done; the windows and bathroom would no doubt need a good cleaning—not to mention the left over pizza boxes piled beside the back door—it also gave me time to make a few basic casserole and lasagna dishes along with a few frozen dinners he would only have to heat up in the microwave or the basic instructions on the fridge for reheating some of his meals in the oven.
I cleaned the bathroom first—it was as bad as feared—then moved on to the living room; I dusted and vacuumed and washed the windows, fluffed the pillows on the couch and polished all of the wood furniture. I bleached the entire kitchen, swept and mopped the kitchen and bathroom floor. In between all of my cleaning I checked each dish I was cooking and switched over the laundry from the washer to the dryer; I folded all of the laundry in front of the dryer and put Charlie's clothes away in his drawers, the linens in the linen closet and put a fresh sheet set on his bed.
It was nearly noon by the time I had finished; I had only been cleaning and cooking for a few hours. I got here at eight in the morning when Edward dropped me off, before he took off for the day. I decided that Charlie needed restock of his pantry, so I called a cab, asking the driver to take me to the local super market. I paid the driver the whole ten dollars—including tip—then made my way inside to do a quick shop of easy things Charlie could cook on his own; like noodles, ravioli, soups and chili's. Half an hour later I went to the check-out, paid for the groceries—with my new shiny black credit card; the Cullen's wouldn't care, I was taking care of family. Calling a cab again so I could go back to Charlie's and another ten dollars later, my cab ride was over. I didn't have a whole lot so lugging the groceries in the house and putting them in their proper places, took no time at all.
It was only two in the afternoon, by the time; I had completed my tasks for the day. Now hungry, I took out a can of ravioli for myself, popped the easy-to-open lid and emptied the contents of my lunch into a bowl; I put my ravioli in the microwave for two minutes, then another thirty seconds after I stirred my food around so it would cook evenly; now starving I grabbed a fork and stuck as much ravioli as I could in my mouth, chewing and swallowing in little bits…I didn't want to choke, with no one around to save me. Scarfing down my lunch, I sighed satisfied. I washed, dried and put away my bowl and fork. I grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge to cool my throat from the scorching food.
I stood leaning on the counter across from the window in the kitchen noticing a big fat orange fluffy thing in the bushes; it was Toby, my dad's next door neighbor's cat. He must be on the prowl, it made me laugh lightly to myself, thinking of Edward as he hunted. I was silly enough to picture Edward as a fat and fluffy bronze haired kitty, stalking his prey, ready to pounce and kill. I was slumped against the counter half choking, half laughing on my water as the image flooded my mind. If he could read my mind I would be in so much trouble, if he knew I was picturing him as a fat cat stalking all of the little birdies out in the back yard.
I left my water on the counter and decided to go and say hello to Toby; he loved anyone that would pay attention to him or pet him. His loud purr reminded me of Edward's soft growls in my ear and that only caused me to double over in laughter, desperately gripping the door frame to the back door so I didn't fall on my face. Once I calmed and steadied myself, I called Toby. He looked up at me with something in his mouth, a baby bird. I was utterly horrified and quickly and carefully ran over to Toby and made him drop the baby bird.
The poor little bird looked like it had a broken wings, he had lacerations on his body from Toby's claws and teeth. Sadness swept over me as I inched closer to the baby bird, who was desperately trying to fly away. It broke my heart, I could feel the silent tears fall from my eyes and quickly wiped them away. Hurriedly I ran to the tool shed and grabbed a set of gardening gloves—being careful to look for spiders and other unwelcome residents that might be creeping around inside to bite my fingers. I carefully picked up the baby bird; wanting to be careful not to hurt it any more than he or she was already in. I looked over the bird carefully, I put my right index finger on the bird's chest to see if I could feel its tiny little heartbeat, and it was not very strong at all. If it was, it would be frantically beating in its tiny little chest.
In sat on the damp grass and contemplated on what I should do. I could not take a baby bird the Cullen home; Carlisle would not be able to do anything for it. It only made my tears become steadier. This tiny little creature was fluttering around feebly in my hands as I stroked his head—being very careful not to hurt it any more than it already was. I only had two options left: Let the bird die suffering or snap its fragile little neck to end its suffering. I didn't know if I had it in me to kill the bird. I knew it was suffering, any idiot could see that. But I was not a killer, I had never killed anything in my entire life; well except for spiders and other bugs…but that didn't count in my books.
My mind did a three sixty as I thought of Edward and all of the other Cullen's, what they had to do, to gain there nourishment. I wanted to be mad at Toby, but I could not, it was the circle of life. And speaking of the circle of life, my phone vibrated in my pocket making me jump; I almost dropped the little bird. I opened my legs and made a little circle, so Toby could not see or get to the bird. Taking my left hand out of my glove, I reached into my jeans pocket and looked at the call display, it was Alice.
"Bella, it's going to be all right." Alice soothed me over the phone; she knew, of course she knew. "Bella, you don't have to kill it if you don't want to, you can just walk away and come back later."
"I...can't...just...leave...it...Alice!" I sniffed into the phone. "Toby...could...come...back...and...and." I could not finish my sentence; for the fear of my words would come true.
"Bella," Alice sighed sadly; trying to match my mood over the phone. "If you can't kill it, just make it as comfortable as possible and wait for nature to take its course. Esme called Edward; he's on his way back home. It will take him ten to reach you. Do you want to stay on the phone with you, until he gets there?" Alice asked.
"No, I will be all right, thank you Alice." I hung up the phone and placed it beside me. I didn't pick the bird back again, but I did make myself more comfortable; I put my hands in the grass to support my weight, never taking my eyes off the little bird, still struggling to fly away.
I thought about killing the little bird again, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I just sat sobbing, watching helplessly as the bird fluttered about, trying to find a way to get over my legs. Second by second the bird's movements grew more and more weak. It didn't chirp as often and I knew its short little life was coming to an end. I ached for this little bird; I was overcome with sorrow and anger—at myself—for not being able to end the birds unwanted and unfair suffering. I was mad at god and Mother Nature, for making such an atrocity for the circle of life.
"Bella?" I heard Edward say soft and quiet from behind me. I didn't move I just sat starring at the little bird, in between my legs, which was now almost dead. I felt a cool hand touch my face to wipe away my tears and turn my head so I had to look in his eyes.
"Do you want me to end the little bird's suffering?" He asked soothingly stroking my face with his thumb. I could only nod and whimper. Edward held me close to him so I could not see him snap the baby bird's neck, but I could hear the snap; it made me wince once and Edward's arm tightened around me.
I clung to him sobbing brokenly as I tried to form words.
"I...just...couldn't...kill...it...Toby...was...going...to...eat...it." I wailed in the crook of his neck. "I...I...I"
"Shhh...It's all right now love, the bird is in a better place now." Edward whispered soothingly in my ear. I clung to him desperately; trying to shake away the guilt and sadness of letting the poor baby bird suffer.
Edward picked me up in his arms and took me inside the house and sat me on kitchen table. He just let me cry and sob, ruining his shirt with the salt water from my tears. Edward untangled himself from me to look into my eyes and speak to me.
"Bella, I will be right back, I am going to take the bird into the woods, so Toby can't get at it anymore." His sudden idea made me feel a little better; I nodded. Edward kissed my lips quickly before darting out the door into the forest. He was back by the time I had hopped off of the kitchen table towards the fridge and the promising box of tissues sitting on top. I wiped away the remainder of my tears with the tissue and quickly blew my nose, and disguarded it in the trash. I washed my hands; Edward washed his hands too, as I dried mine on a dish towel. His hands were covered it in dirt.
"I took the little bird a few feet from the edge of the woods and buried it, no person or animal will disturb it now. How are you feeling love?" He asked pulling me into his embrace and hugging me tightly to his body.
"Much better now, thank you for coming. I don't know what I would have done without you." I admitted; I felt the blood rush to my face and burn in my cheeks.
"Anything for you my love, now how about I take you out for some ice cream." He suggested suddenly. "I think ice cream is a must right now...yes it is a must, you need ice cream." I didn't even have time to reply to him; Edward didn't leave room for much argument. He quickly put all of the now cooled and wrapped dishes in the fridge; while I left a note for Charlie on the kitchen table. I grabbed my bag off of the arm chair by the front door, and before I knew it I was up and over Edward's shoulder racing down the front steps and in the car before I could catch my breath. I quickly buckled myself in; Edward took my hand in his and sped like a maniac towards my favorite ice cream parlor in Port Angela's.
Author's Note: I have decided to edit my chapters, in hopes that it will inspire me to add more chapters. I have had major writer's block these past few months and its driving me insane. I feel like I am letting you guys down. I know I have asked this a million times…but please be patient with me. Your patience will be rewarded.