Bella's Point Of View
Though I had spent the night lying on Edward's cool skin, desperately needing the contact, that only he could provide for me; my thoughts plagued me about what Rosalie said before everything thing had gone so horribly wrong—before I had died.
Had the Cullen's planned to kill me in my sleep?
What had I done to deserve death? I was the victim—to them I was the enemy—I didn't know which thought hurt more; the fact that they had wanted to kill me in my sleep, or the fact that they had kept it hidden from me all this time. Furthermore; how in the hell do you even broach that subject? Do I just flat out ask them? Did I really want to know the reason behind their motives? Did I really want the answer—to my almost murderous death, made to look like a medical accident?
With my mind swirling around with answerless questions; I decided it was time to get up; it's not like I was really sleeping anyways, I was only giving myself an estimation to the time I had been asleep verses what I had said in my sleep—deciding that sleep won over sleep talking, I rolled over onto my side, burying my face into the crook of Edward's neck.
"Bella?" Apparently I had not been sleeping as long as I thought; the concern laced in Edward's voice, was dangerously edging towards panic. "Are you alright love; did you have a bad dream?" His cold marble hands, moved to my back, stroking my spine, over lapping his hands; it was soothing my body—but not my worries.
"I can't sleep," I admitted whispering, curling my body closer to his; instinctually Edward's body moved with mine, his arms wrapped around my waist crushing my body recklessly close to his. Always surviving, always colliding at the speed of light—fire and Ice met in the most unexpected way. "My mind won't shut up" I joked; trying to lighten the already bad conversation "apparently it doesn't want me to sleep right now."
"What's on your mind?" He asked just as seriously. "Is it what happened?"
"No; not exactly," I told him as honestly as I could. "Not what happened, it's what could have happened that upsets me." I didn't want to give him the full details yet, until I had figured out how to ask him properly—I didn't was to just blurt it out.
Sitting up with me in his arms, Edward's hand found my chin, tilting my head up; he wanted to gain access to my thoughts the only way he knew how. My facial expression told him everything he needed to know about my mood changes, dare I even say my thought process, without actually having to read my mind. Edward's cool skin was comforting and coaxing enough to get me to gaze into his golden honey eyes.
"Talk to me Bella," He pleaded with me stroking my cheek with the pad of his thumb. "You can tell me or ask me anything; I just want to know, what has you in such a melancholy state."
Could I tell him? Was I strong enough to ask? I was too chicken to flat out ask him; so I settled for beating around the bush, until another subject until—just maybe—I could avoid his probing eyes, tricking me into telling him.
"What would you give to protect me, Edward?"
"Anything and everything, including my own life; I will do anything to keep you safe." He vowed without hesitation, his voice both serious and curious; I had peaked his interest, (Putting my proverbial foot in my mouth was not a smart idea.) "Bella..." Beating around the bush, was not going to cut it; Edward would have me singing the answers to his questions like a canary on first day of spring; his powers of persuasion were limitless.
"Is what Rosalie said true? Were you really going to kill me in my sleep after the accident?" A pinhead hitting the concrete floor in the basement-even to human ears—could be heard; Edward was rigid as could be underneath me, his breathing ceased all together. Edward had turned into a statue; with my answerless question, now answered—I wasn't sure I wanted the truth after all—everything about Edward's silence and stillness screamed my worst fear. He was going to kill me in my sleep.
"I protected you even then," Edward whispered closing his eyes, his body relaxing around me, and his arms tightened around my waist; as if to make sure I was actually in his arms. "Even when I didn't understand my feelings for you; I wouldn't let you pay for my mistake." He admitted "I told you this Bella; when I saw that van coming at you, all I could think was 'not her.' The instinct to protect you; was far more powerful than the instinct to keep our secret safe—nothing mattered to me, but you; the sun could have been shinning at high noon, and I still would have risked exposure to protect you."
Not only was I in complete awe of this creature sitting before me, I fell hard for him again; love pooled in every poor of my body for the man that I loved more than my own life. I felt horrid inside for asking him; I should have known the truth, from then start.
"Rosalie, Jasper, and Esme," My mouth fell open with a tiny whimper of hurt at Esme's name.
"Esme?" I whispered.
"Esme told me to do what I needed to do in order to stay Bella; I could have never hurt you Bella. Not ever. Hurting you, would be like me dismembering my own body." I shook my head to dislodge the ghastly image of Edward hurting himself. "Jasper only wanted to protect Alice; Rosalie only wanted to keep our family safe, she feared being exposed."
"So it wasn't because you didn't want me to...to have not survived."
"I wouldn't be here, if you had not survived Bella." He told me simply. I cringed into him, thinking of Italy. "That was the first day Alice had her vision of you."
"It was clear as glass, you and Alice hugging each other, here in the house; timing was the only factor—besides one other. Alice had two visions; one of you as a human or as an immortal—Alice knew she loved you as much as I did when she had that vision. In her mind, you were already her sister and best friend."
"Alice loves me...like you love me?" I questioned confused. "What about Jasper?"
"No," He laughed shaking his head. "I meant Alice love is as strong for you as mine is for you; she loves you only as a sister." He tapped his temple out of habit. "Trust me."
I breathed a sigh of relief.
"That was the first night I went to your room; I made a bargain with myself..."
"I didn't understand how someone so pure and innocent, captured the heart of a monster."
"You are not a monster." I snapped at him angrily "At least not in my eyes."
"You love me more than I deserve." He told me kissing the top of my head. "I struggled all night; I wanted you in so many ways, but then something in me changed; you mumbled my name clear as day, asking me to stay with you. At that very moment, I realized, that nothing in this world meant more to me...then you. You locked the beast inside me away, you silenced him; and as long as I hold the key to keep him locked up inside...you hold the leash to haul him back to his locked cage."
"And what if I decided to give that leash a little tug?"
"Nothing; ever since after Italy Bella; every instinct I have to keep you safe; my love for you, everything that you are...I am. Even after you are turned; my instincts will always scream at me to protect you above all else; because they are so engrained into my very being. Even if for some reason, we were deserted on a faraway Island, and I was starving and deranged with thirst; I could never and would never be able to bring myself to hurt you."
"I love you," Were the only three words I could muster; before I moulded my lips to his. "I love you, I love you; I love you...so much." I crooned to him in between kisses.
"As, I love you, my Bella; forever and always." Edward promised me before kissing me into a blissful state of oblivion.
A/N: I know it has been forever since I have posted a chapter, but I have found it very hard to continue this story. It was mostly a spur of the moment story that I wasn't sure how to continue, so please don't think I have been putting these chapters off on purpose...because I haven't.
Please review and let me know what you think!