New Claire/Myrnin – NOT one of the ones I said I am writing at the bottom of Struggles, chapter 53, but just one that came to mind…
I don't own anything
Also… Idk how long it will be; it's sort of just like a how long the plot lasts for sort of thing. Enjoy it though!
Two words you would never expect to use in conjunction with Myrnin, but I can. I can see how he pretends to be so strong and in control, but he isn't. He meanders through life; hiding how he isn't this strong, there are no consequences vampire… he's just as sensitive as me, when you see underneath the bravado.
Yet the world doesn't see this. They only see the side he wants them to see: the arrogant, know it all, obnoxious fool who makes people laugh, the vampire who has no qualms about who he kills as long as he gets blood – even though now he is as reliant on his blood deliveries as Michael…
"Claire, you seem to be observing me rather studiously," Myrnin interrupts my retrieve, in which I am analysing his inner personality, his jovial tone entirely against what I have just been thinking. "Is there something on my face? Dear child, you are worrying me so," he continues, wiping at his face as if he is going to some sort of royal party in England and he can't be messy. Or just going to see Amelie – she has to be the equivalent to the Queen or someone here… it's a miracle that she doesn't demand that we all call her Queen Amelie…
"No, no, there's nothing on your face Myrnin – honestly!" I hurry to say, when he begins to wipe at his face furiously. Wait… there is now. "Oh, Myrnin, you had oil on your hands, it's all over your face!" I moan at him, unable to believe that he had a clean face and now he is covered in black, sticky oil.
"I didn't realise that it would make a difference – I thought the oil would have dried in by now," he sighs, but makes no attempt to remove the oil from his face. No, that would be my job… but I see his point – to try and clean it away would probably just spread even more on his face and that would make it even harder for me to get off.
"Wait one minute and do not move," I order him, grumbling under my breath (although he can hear with perfect clarity) about how much of a child he is.
"I am perfectly capable of moving and you having no way of stopping me," he grins and I turn around to see him dancing around the table, the inner nutter I always knew he was. That is different to being an imbecile and obnoxious prat to everyone though – being a nutter can be adorable!
"Keep doing that and I tell Amelie that you want to see her now so you have to go with oil all over your face," I smile sweetly, dangerously in a human approximation of the word. Compared to a vampire, a threat disguised with a sweet smile is like me telling a small white lie.
"Keep threatening me and you're fired," he shoots back, evidently pleased that he has won since he sits back down with a smug smile on his face.
I roll my eyes at this as I continue on my journey through to the kitchen to wet a cloth, a blush creeping over my cheeks. Strange, but I don't care: I get that all the time with Myrnin, especially recently. It's probably just because we spend so much time together that I end up blushing… but I don't really have the time to get into a deep, philosophical discussion with myself on the matter right now. I need to clean up Myrnin before heading home to the boyfriend I have there, and my two best friends.
I return to him and scrub at his face, as if he is a little boy, smiling as the black oil seems to slide off effortlessly: probably because of his vampire skin, so nothing that shouldn't be there clings to it… something about the way that I am doing this reminds me of my feelings about him earlier, the way that I was analysing him so deeply, and I end up blushing again, my heart for some reason increasing in speed. I hope he can't hear it; he'll end up being in a theoretical mood and decide that it's because I'm near him, which it isn't. We're friends, nothing more. Nothing less either, unlike most of the vampires in this town – and in that, I include Amelie.
As I clean him off, my phone beeps. I continue to wipe his face – I feel like a mother doing this to her child! – with one hand and the other slides my new phone (Amelie had to buy me another new one… it is in the line of duty for her that they keep getting broken!) out of my pocket to check the text. It's from Shane…
Hey, babe, you're not home but we're going out for dinner so do you want us to bring you something back? s x
I sigh – they knew I was working today and I am not supposed to finish for another fifteen minutes, so why they are going out is beyond me! I'm so frustrated with them now: when Eve has to work late, or Shane, we hang on for them but because it's me, they won't.
I begin to scrub harder at Myrnin's face, venting my anger and frustration into wiping off the oil so much that I don't realise it has all gone. I just keep wiping, knowing I have overreacted for the tiniest of things but I am sick of it. The vampires already take advantage of me – hence the wiping away of the stupid oil that he could have done himself – and then now my friends are deciding to do things without me.
"Claire, stop," Myrnin's voice startles me back to the present and I do as he asks, my hands freezing on his face. His skin has been warmed by the friction caused by the cloth and it seems as if he is almost human… then I realise that his skin is partially red and flaking. "Are you alright? You seem… distracted," he says to me, opening his eyes.
I freeze as I look into his eyes, the chocolate brownness matching mine, but the emotions inside unreadable. I delve into his eyes, trying to see what he is feeling, but I can't see in there: I'm unable to read them. It seems as if the entire way his brain works – as in mad scientific genius – has transferred to the way he shows emotion because I can only get glimmers of what he is feeling but even that isn't clear.
"I'm fine… sorry about your face," I mumble, unable to look away from his face, even as he moves to stand up, looking down at me with a concerned expression.
"It's nothing that will not heal; now, what is wrong with you? I presume it is that irritating modern technology that has caused your displeasure with something or someone so badly that you proceeded to attack me so violently," Myrnin presumes to me, hitting the nail right on the head though I wouldn't admit that to him.
I sigh and somehow end up moving closer to him, keen for comfort even though I know it isn't a good idea to show weakness to a vampire – especially one as confused and vulnerable as Myrnin. In fact, the only vampires I feel comfortable showing weakness to are Sam and Michael and that is only because a) they are my friends and b) they have helped me out of so many sticky situations that it wouldn't be fair to class them as vampires…
"They went out to dinner without me," I sound as if I'm moaning, and I guess I am, but I don't care. I look away from his face finally, changing my gaze to the floor. "It sounds petulant and childish but I don't care because they went out and they didn't invite me… I'm sorry, you don't need to hear this," I sigh, retracing the step I took towards him and turning away without looking at him.
My heart beats faster as I breathe quicker, some part of me thinking about Myrnin – don't be stupid, Claire! Just because Shane ditched you to go for dinner with Michael and Eve, not some girl, doesn't mean you need to be thinking about revenge with your boss. After all, you have to work with him. Kissing him and then regretting it with Shane and then when you come back to work tomorrow will help nobody. Much less Myrnin, who is still probably in love with Ada.
"I… um… will see you tomorrow, then?" I ask Myrnin, not turning around to face him as I pick up my bag and coat.
"Yes, 12pm. Don't be late, Claire, otherwise I will be forced to dock your pay," he sighs, but I hear the humour in his voice. That's the side of Myrnin I know; the one who is funny, sensitive, proud, entirely obsessed with the sciences and research, kind, honest, loyal and vulnerable… he is so utterly amazing and perfect and… my friend. Nothing more.
"Bye," I call as I walk through the portal, deciding that walking through the streets at night is not a good idea in Vampville. He doesn't respond, so I add another thing to the list of things he is: childish.
I return to an empty house and find something to eat in the kitchen before realising that I never responded to Shane's text.
And I don't care.
Oh Claire, why are you so naïve and unable to see what is so plainly in front of you? Don't you see that I wanted you to help me simply so that you would be close to me, as is the reason I have done everything I have done in the past months? Don't you see that I know that you reciprocate how I feel deep down, that I can tell you do through your heartbeat and the way it increases when you are around me? I can tell you do not know I can tell when you are blushing from the heat of your body, even when I cannot see you.
When you are with me, it's like I am someone I used to be, before I was a vampire. I'm back to the charming man I was, the one who only wanted to learn. Unfortunately, being a vampire changed me and it made me blood thirsty, lustful of everything that came to me, as I realised that I finally had the power I wanted: the power to be able to learn.
But as time passed, the learning seemed to halt. I ended up working for decades on a cure, only for a seventeen year old girl to be able to find it, partially, with mere months of knowledge on vampires. I dug myself in a very deep hole with her in my dark times… little does she know I still have those dark times, only not under the influence of the disease. When I am with her, I try to hide these feelings, to make myself more of the man she could love.
But back to my hole: when I was saved from the disease, I knew I had to do a lot to prove to Claire that my true nature was the charming person, even though that was a stretch – I do not know what I am truly like. The only things I know are that I love science…
…and I love Claire.
But she loves Shane.
This could be complicated!
So, please review! If I get lots of reviews *hint* I will update quicker than if I only get a couple…