Crack. Pure, unadulterated crack. When a friend randomly told me she kind of wanted fic where Kurt slept with himself, I jumped on the idea and this entire thing instantaneously wrote itself. It's really weird and I may or may not have been studying Freud and psychoanalytic theories too much, lately. I'll say it again: it's crack. I mean, seriously? Kurt/Himself? Yeah, I wrote that. I think I need help. The title is from by Charlie McDonnell, and if you wonder why Kurt sings that song in particular, you should watch the official video of the song.
Kurt groans as he dabs more concealer on his face. Getting in a fight with Blaine right before going to bed had led to a terrible night and now he looks like a baby panda with two very obnoxious shiners. He isn't quite sure that makes a lot of sense but he doesn't actually care; for the first time since the Rachel Berry Train Wreck Extravaganza Aftermath, he's not on speaking terms with Blaine. And he misses him way more than he's willing to admit.
Sighing loudly when Finn calls his name to tell he they have to leave for school soon, Kurt accidentally sends flecks of concealer on his mirror. With an annoyed frown, he reaches forward to wipe them off. That's when the first nonsensical thing of the day happens: the mirror has the consistency of water under his fingers. With a gasp, Kurt retreats his hand and stares at the piece of glass with wide eyes.
He tries to reason himself: he's sleep-deprived and watching The Matrix at one in the morning to try to change his mind had been a terrible idea. That's why he's hallucinating soft mirrors. It works until his reflection winks at him. This time, a yelp escapes his lips and he jumps away from the mirror. He covers his mouth with his hands swiftly, holding his breath to make sure no one is coming to check on him.
Once his breath has slowed down again, Kurt walks back to the mirror. His reflection is giving him an annoyed look, the kind he knows he gives Finn when he's being spectacularly stupid. Kurt's heart speeds up again but at this point, he's convinced he's asleep so he sits back on his chair and sends the mirror a questioning glance.
"Can you hear me?" he asks quietly.
The reflection shakes his head and holds up a finger to tell Kurt to wait. Kurt gasps when he starts writing with the tub of concealer he discarded on his table. It's taking a lot of time, but at least Kurt's hallucination is making sure to write so Kurt can read him, with the letters mirrored.
"'No, but I can read your lips,'" Kurt reads under his breath before nodding. "Good. Hum, who are you?"
Kurt doesn't need him to write that answer. The 'you' is pretty clear, from the way the annoyed look his back on his face and his entire posture screams 'you are an idiot, why am I wasting my time with you?'
"Yeah, I figured this one out, thank you. But why—I mean. What is this?"
Let me show you.
Kurt stares at the words for a while and gulps. "How?" His reflection motions him closer with his hand, a smirk on his face. "So I just—Oh," Kurt whispers, pressing his hand against the mirror. It goes right through and Kurt can feel air on it, from the other side of the glass. Kurt pulls his hand away and breathes in deeply.
His reflection is giving him an annoyed look again and with one last steadying breath, Kurt climbs up on his chair and steps on his desk. He lifts his hands in front of him to make sure it still works and when they go through without a problem, he takes a step forward and walks through the mirror. It's cold and it feels weird, like going through water but emerging completely dry. Kurt opens his eyes, not remembering shutting them, and looks around him. The room is the opposite of his and it's very disorienting.
"Why, hello," comes a voice he doesn't remember being that deep.
Kurt turns his head and sees, well, himself. Now, Kurt might be narcissistic, or at least he is compared to most people, but even he feels ridiculous at the thought that crosses his mind: he looks damn fine.
Kurt steps off the table and stands in front of the other Kurt. The smirk tugging at his lips is the perfect reflection of what he's seeing on the other's face.
"This is insane," Kurt lets out before chuckling.
"Oh, wow, okay, you're keeping it that high?" the other Kurt says with a wince, his voice definitely deeper than what Kurt knows he sounds like.
"My voice? That's how it is, what do you mean?"
"I know that's how our voice is, but I force it lower, otherwise it's so annoying. Don't you tire of being called 'miss' on the phone?" Kurt shrugs but before he has the time to reply, the other continues. "So. We're hot." And with that, he leans forward and kisses Kurt.
Kurt's eyes widen and he pushes the other away, walking around the chair to stand behind it, clenching his hands on the back of it. "What was that?"
"Oh, please, don't act like you never wanted to. We've kissed each other through a mirror before."
"Yes but—You seriously need to explain this to me."
"I'm hot, you're hot, there's nothing wrong with it."
"Not that," Kurt splutters out.
"Oh, fine. Are you familiar with Alice in Wonderland?"
"I'm dreaming, is that what you're telling me?" Kurt asks, circling the chair to sit on it. The other Kurt – this will never notbe weird – sits on his bed, crossing his legs.
"No," he snaps and Kurt feels all the power of his bitch face directed at him. "You know how Alice has to go through this coming of age trip, where she has to find herself and know who she really is?" Kurt nods, prompting the other to continue. "I think this is what's going on."
"You think? What else could it be?"
"Food poisoning. We ate something that wasn't fresh last night and we're hallucinating."
"Okay, so this is not normal for you either?"
"No, actually, people step out of mirrors all the time in this world," the other Kurt sneers, rolling his eyes. "Of course it's not normal."
"But you looked like you knew what was going on before I stepped through."
"I did? Good. That's what I was aiming for."
"Why did you invite me to cross, then, if you had no idea what's going on?"
"Do you always ask so many questions? Fuck, you're annoying." Kurt winces. He never swears and hearing the sound come out of his mouth is very weird. "You're hot, I thought that if you could cross through, I could get in your pants." And the other Kurt shrugs, like he hasn't said the oddest thing ever.
Kurt blushes and his eyes widen. "Are you completely insane?"
"What! Don't act all offended. I'm deprived, since Quinn suspects something Finn won't put out and Puck's—"
"Wait, no, no, no, you didn't just say that. Finn? Like, our step-brother? But he's straight! He made it more than clear that he wants nothing to do with me!"
"Finn's a whore. He'll sleep with anything that has two legs. Granted, you could say the same about me."
Kurt shakes his head. If he had started to believe it was real before, now he's convinced he's dreaming or hallucinating. This isn't him, other side of the mirror or not.
"Why are you shaking your head?" the other Kurt asks, getting up to grab his messenger bag.
"This isn't—that's not who I am! I don't sleep with Finn or—or Puck!"
"But you've had sex before, right? Please, tell me my reflection is not a fucking virgin."
Kurt bites his lip. A month into his relationship with Blaine, they still haven't done anything more than make out. Kurt is not ready yet and Blaine understands it and says nothing, but Kurt is pretty sure he's annoyed, deep down. This might be part of why he lashed out at Blaine the night before, although he would never admit it.
"N—no. Blaine and I are not there yet."
"Blaine?" the other Kurt asks and that's when his words from earlier sink in: he needed Kurt to sleep with because Puck and Finn were not available, but he never said a word about Blaine.
"Blaine Anderson? The dreamy lead soloist of the Dalton Academy Warblers? Our boyfriend?" Kurt asks.
"Never heard of anyone called that. Dalton Academy? What's your life, Dead Poets Society?"
"Never mind," Kurt mutters, looking down. "I should go back."
"Yeah, I need to get going, apparently I'm expected to show up to school every day. Lame," the other Kurt says with a sigh.
Kurt winces again, thinking about his perfect attendance. He gets up and steps back on the table, pressing his hands on the mirror. His breath itches when he feels it hard and cold under his touch.
"Anytime you feel like leaving," the other Kurt snaps.
"I can't. It's not working anymore. Oh my god, I'm stuck here," Kurt gasps, his breath itching again.
"Oh fuck, don't tell me I'm stuck with you."
"That doesn't make me any happier than you," Kurt snaps, trying again. He pushes on the mirror again and again, giving up when he hears his reflection laughing.
"Are you done? Come on, let's go to school. We'll figure this out another time."
Kurt frowns but steps off the table, sending one last look at the empty mirror before following the other Kurt out of the room. Out of instinct, Kurt turns left and nearly walks into the wall at the end of the hallway. He hears his double cackle and quickly runs after him, clicking his tongue.
"Wait, hold on. How are you going to explain me to everyone else?"
"You're my twin who's been living in—well, with what you've told me – in an Amish community until now?"
"Finn's not going to buy it."
"Finn is so going to buy it. Come on. It's Finn. Once I got him to give me head just so I would leave him the last pizza roll."
"Okay, you have to stop talking about sleeping with our brother. This is sickening," Kurt nearly whines, the images flooding his brain very disturbing.
"No blood link," the other Kurt shrugs.
"Dad and Carole won't fall for it."
"I'll keep you hidden in my room until we figure out what's wrong. Why do you make it so complicated? Just go with the flow, stop thinking so much! But there's one thing that might give it away. We're dressed the same. Hold on, I'll go change."
"Don't leave me here!" Kurt calls after him, to no avail. Well, at least his double is as concerned with fashion as he is. That is slightly comforting. "What's my name?" Kurt calls after a few minutes.
"Rihanna, apparently," his double replies, appearing at the top of the stairs. Kurt gives him an appreciative smile, loving the outfit. Those plaid pants truly are his favourite. "What do you want to be called?"
"Victor?" Kurt risks, thinking back to that one time he sang Le Jazz Hot.
"Victor/Victoria reference? I guess you don't entirely suck."
"I'm you, remember," Kurt lets out.
The other only hums and they set off to school in silence. The entire world is the reverse of what Kurt is used to and it's giving him a headache. Kurt almost waves Mercedes hello but catches himself at the last second, glad he did so when he sees his double ignoring her.
"You're not greeting Mercedes? She's our best friend."
"I don't talk to the other glee kids when I can avoid it," the other Kurt says haughtily, making Kurt feel sick. The feeling only grows stronger when his double stops by Brittany, Quinn and Santana and greets them happily.
"Girls," he begins, wrapping his arm around Santana's shoulder and grinning. "Let me introduce you my twin, Victor. He'd been living with our grandparents in—in Bavaria until yesterday. He had a hard time dealing with our mom's death so we sent him away," the other Kurt tells the girls and all Kurt can do is nod along. It looks like he'll have to accept the fact he's going to be the deranged one in the pair, when it clearly isn't the case.
"Hola," Brittany greets him, grinning. She completely ignores Quinn telling her that 'hola' is Spanish, not German. "Where are your lederhosen?"
Kurt smiles at her, knowing that it's useless to argue with Brittany. In front of him, Santana asks Brittany how she even knows what those are.
"What brings you here?" Quinn asks him but before Kurt can answer, she continues. "It's insane how similar you two are. It's like I'm looking at the same person."
"Double the fun," the other Kurt says smugly, winking.
Kurt rolls his eyes and that's when he sees him; crossing the front lawn quickly, staring at the ground, the curly hair adorning his head unmistakable: Blaine. His heart jumps and beats faster at the sight because if Blaine exists in that universe, it can't be all bad. Pulling the other Kurt by the arm, he brings him aside.
"Over there. The guy in the green sweater. That's Blaine. I have no idea why he's at this school and not Dalton, but that's him. Right there."
"You're dating that absolute loser?" the other Kurt snarls before bursting out laughing. "Oh my god, your life must suck so much. So Blaine's his name, huh? We all call him Frodo. He stopped trying to stop us two weeks into freshman year."
"He's not a loser!" Kurt snaps.
"Huh, he kind of is. He's best friends with Rachel Berry. That says everything. We actually thought they were dating, but he apparently had a huge crush on Finn last year, so yeah."
Kurt shakes his head, the words making no sense for him. He always believed that he and Blaine were meant to be, in that cheesy fairy tale way. To hear that in some parallel universe, he is one of his bullies makes him feel sick.
"Have you ever talked to him?" Kurt asks sharply.
"Not really. He's in glee club so I guess maybe once or twice?" The only thing stopping Kurt running after Blaine is the other Kurt's hand on his arm, his grip tight. "Don't fuck this up by running after this loser."
"This loser is our boyfriend," Kurt hissed.
"Yours, Kurt. Not mine. I don't do boyfriend, especially ones like that kid."
Kurt shakes his head again and pulls his arm out of his double's hold. "I kind of hate you."
"The feeling's mutual, yet I still think you're hot."
"Non-sequitur," Kurt says with a sigh.
"But true. Come on, we'll be late."
Kurt lets his double drag him around all day, the world making less and less sense as the hours go by. Everything Kurt always assumed as the laws of the universe in action were nowhere to be seen. The other Kurt is apparently on top of the food chain and bullying is something he never heard of. He's friends with everyone on the football team – and to be quite honest, Kurt suspects he might have slept with half of them, even if the guys would never admit it. Kurt's suspicions were confirmed by the other Kurt himself and his smugness made Kurt feel sick.
"But seriously, are you as fucking stuck up as you look?" his double asks him over lunch.
"I don't know what you mean."
"I mean the way you react when I tell you whom I've slept with, or the way you're offended every time I swear, even the way you move and talk, jeez."
"My world isn't like yours, Kurt," Kurt snaps. "I don't know what you did to be what you are right now, but where I'm from—" Kurt trails off, searching for words. "I'm like them," he finishes, pointing at Blaine, who is sitting with Mercedes, Tina, Rachel and Artie. "I'm like Blaine. I'm bullied and teased and taunted because I'm gay."
"Oh, I used to, for like a week last year. But then I started sleeping with them and they stopped," the other Kurt shrugs, rolling his eyes.
"I can't believe you." Kurt gets up and takes his tray.
"Where are you going?"
"I need a break," Kurt snaps before crossing the cafeteria and sitting next to Blaine. The table immediately becomes silent, all eyes on him. "Hi, I'm Victor, Kurt's twin," he lets out after a minute of awkward silence.
"Yeah, we heard about you," Blaine says and his voice makes Kurt's heart flutter. "I'm Blaine."
"Hi, Blaine." Kurt smiles at him and he blushes when he realises he smiled like it was his Blaine he was greeting. Predictively, Blaine frowns and clears his throat, focusing on his plate. Kurt introduces himself to the others, finding it hard to keep his distance when all he wants is to tell them what's happening to him and hug them, because he feels lost and alone and needs his friends more than ever before.
"It's nice to see you're not an ass, like your brother," Artie says after a while.
"Yeah, I had no idea he was that bad," Kurt sighs, glancing at his double who's engrossed in whatever Puck is telling him. Kurt has a bad taste in his mouth when he realises he's probably hoping to get laid if he listens hard enough. "I'll try telling him to treat you guys better."
"Forget it. He's rotten inside," Blaine says bitterly. Kurt's eyes snap to Blaine's and this time, the other teenager holds his gaze. "You're sweet, though."
Kurt grins and looks away. Flirting with Blaine has become a second nature to him and he better watch what he does before something terrible happens because this Blaine is giving him that look Kurt knows too well, now, and it's a very bad idea.
Mr. Schuester's face is priceless when they enter the choir room. Kurt takes it on him to explain the situation this time, instead of letting the other Kurt come up with another nonsensical story about him living in a chocolate factory in Bavaria, or something equally ridiculous.
To Kurt's dismay – or great pleasure, he's not quite sure how to take it yet – Blaine sings a song during the rehearsal and if Kurt ever gets back to his world, he has to make sure Blaine learns Goodbye Yellow Brick Road. The thought of never going back makes Kurt feel queasy but he knows it's too early to start panicking and besides, Blaine is still singing and playing the piano and it's hard to focus.
The other Kurt doesn't miss the intent with which Kurt was watching his double. Once they're back in his room, he corners Kurt about it.
"Are you falling for that loser?"
"Technically, I'm only still in love with my boyfriend. He doesn't know he is, but he looks exactly like my Blaine."
"Yes, but he's not yours. He's mine."
"Yours?" Kurt asks, quirking his eyebrow.
"You know what I mean. The one in my world. Don't you fucking darethink I am even remotely interested by him."
"I never said that," Kurt replies, smiling to himself. Oh yes, he's starting to get the hang of that other version of himself. After all, they are the same person, one with a worse attitude than the other, that's all.
"You better. I'm going to Puck's tonight, can you cover for me?"
"How?" Kurt stupidly asks before he can think about it. "Oh, you want me to act like I'm you."
"Yeah," the other Kurt snaps before shoving clothes in a bag. "You think you can handle that or you'll fuck up my entire life?"
"Can you stop cussing? It makes you sound less intelligent than you are."
"As you wish, buttercup," the other Kurt said sweetly, pinching Kurt's cheek. "Shit, I'm already late," he adds after glancing at his phone. "I mean, whoopsie daisies, I'm late."
"Get out," Kurt says with a sigh, groaning when the other Kurt leaves. "What an insufferable prick," he mutters.
"You tell me," Finn says, making Kurt jump. "Can I come in?" Kurt shrugs and scoots away when Finn sits on the bed. He knows what this Kurt and that Finn are up to and there is no way he's taking part in it. "I'm not buying this twin story," Finn bluntly says.
"You better because it's actually easier to believe than the real one."
"Victor, I'm not as stupid as Kurt says I am."
"My name's not Victor, Finn," Kurt admits after a while. "My name is Kurt."
"What, so you let your twin go see Puckerman? That's sick, dude."
"No, no, we're both Kurt. The right one left, the one who's a whore."
"Two Kurts? Can I know the real story?" Finn asks softly, moving closer to Kurt. Kurt moves away, wincing.
"Okay first of all, stay away. I'm not like him, I don't—you're my brother, Finn."
"No, I'm Kurt's brother."
"Exactly," Kurt says.
"I'm not following you."
"I come from the other side of the mirror."
Finn bursts out laughing. "Yeah, okay, that's hilarious. Nice prank, Victor."
"I'm serious. I don't know how it happened but this morning when I touched my mirror, I could get through it and then my reflection told me to cross and I ended up here."
"Did you eat the carrot muffin from the cafeteria? Because I heard they give you some pretty bad hallucinations."
"No, Finn, I'm not hallucinating. Or maybe I am. I actually hope I am. This world is messed up."
"What's so different?" Finn asks, moving across the bed to sit next to Kurt against the pillows.
"Well, for starters, I don't casually sleep with anyone." Finn blushes at that, confirming that the other Kurt was not only bragging about having sex with him. "And I'm much nicer than this Kurt. I'm friends with Mercedes and Tina and Rachel and Artie and pretty much everyone in glee club, except maybe the cheerleaders, and then again, we tolerate each other. Oh and they're not even Cheerios anymore, they quit before Nationals. And I'm dating Blaine, who's not some bullied introvert but the lead soloist of another glee club."
"Sort of like Rachel and Jesse? And no one killed you about it?"
"No, because I transferred to that school because I was bullied, so—"
"Wait, you? Bullied? Yeah, I can't imagine that. You're like, the coolest guy in school."
"No, Kurt is. Your Kurt. I'm not."
Finn stays silent for a while. "It blows, man. I wish I could help." Kurt hums and lets his head fall against the pillows, closing his eyes. When he reopens them, he catches Finn's eyes on his face, staring.
"Finn, don't even think about it. I don't put out for Blaine, there is not a single chance in a million year that I'm going to sleep with you."
"I wasn't—come on. Dude. No." Finn clears his throat. "Why don't you put out with your boyfriend? I mean, I saw the way you looked at our Blaine. I'm surprised he didn't spontaneously combust, you were that intense. I think he's a bit scared."
"I am not discussing my sex life with a carbon copy of my step-brother, even if you're a thousand times better at listening than mine. As for Blaine, he looks so much like myBlaine, I couldn't help it," Kurt says with a sigh, pouting.
Kurt is surprised to see how quickly Finn accepted the story of how he came to be there. Of course, compared to the other Kurt's twin story, it does make more sense. If only Kurt could have contact with someone from his side of the mirror, maybe he could ask for help.
"Hey, I wonder, if I texted Blaine, what would happen," he muses out loud, once again catching Finn staring. "You have to stop this, by the way."
Finn is flushing when Kurt reaches in his pocket for his phone. Looking through his contacts – his eyes crossing because the writing is mirrored, a detail he hadn't thought about – he finally selects Blaine's and sends him a simple 'hey'.
The reply is almost instantaneous.
'Who are you?'
Kurt feels his heart sink and he lets out a whimper. "It's not working. I'm texting your world's Blaine."
"Well, have you tried the mirror again?" Finn asks, shrugging.
"No, but I'm pretty sure the other Kurt has to be there as well. I can try, though."
Kurt rolls off the bed and walks to the mirror, looking sadly at the emptiness reflected at him. He presses his palm against the cold surface, feeling it hard and solid under his hand.
"At least you tried?" Finn offers, shrugging.
Kurt nods and lets himself fall on the bed, sighing and staring at the ceiling. His phone beeps and he takes it out, frowning.
'Seriously, who is it? I can trace your number if it's another prank.'
"Aw," Kurt coos, pouting at his screen. "He's so paranoid, it's precious."
"Not your boyfriend," Finn comments and Kurt rolls his eyes.
"It won't stop me finding him gorgeous and witty and attractive and wonderful." Ignoring Finn's gagging noise, he quickly types 'It's Victor. Remember me?'
'How did you get my number?'
'I'm kind of magic.'
Kurt grins and feels himself blushing. It's like meeting Blaine all over again and he loves it.
Kurt looks up at Finn, frowning. "What?"
"You're grinning because a guy you like is texting you. That's not Kurt."
"That's not your Kurt. Your Kurt is bitter and cynical and laden with STDs."
"You think he has STDs?" Finn asks in a panic and Kurt laughs. "Stop messing with me. That's not funny. If I give anything to Quinn, she'll murder me."
"Oh, she sleeps with you?" Kurt asks.
"Why wouldn't she?"
"Well, I don't know, maybe the baby she had last year?"
"What baby? Quinn had a baby?"
Kurt sits up at that, because wow. "Yes, she had Puckerman's baby."
"Your world is fucked up, dude. Quinn never slept with Puckerman. We've been together forever. She wouldn't cheat on me."
"Says the guy cheating on his girlfriend with his step-brother. So you never dated Rachel?"
Finn bursts out laughing. "Rachel Berry? She's basically engaged to Jesse St. James. And ew, no, she's kind of scary. You know, too intense and stuff. Anyway, before Jesse, I was convinced she was dating Blaine, except when I found out he was in love with me, that changed," Finn says with a chuckle.
"Don't laugh. I was in love with you last year. Well, my world's version of you."
"I didn't know you were capable of love."
The silence would be awkward if Kurt wasn't too lost in thoughts to notice.
"Maybe you have a task to accomplish before you can leave," Finn lets out after a while. "You know, like in Casper? How they're stuck as ghosts until they've accomplished what they had to?"
Kurt kind of likes this insightful Finn.
"Maybe. Or maybe it's like in Alice in Wonderland. I need to find who I truly am, or something, or I need to face my inner demons."
"Well, what's the last thing you did before you ended up here?" Finn asks, crossing his legs and resting his elbows on his knees to lean closer.
"I was getting ready for school. The night before, I got in a fight with Blaine over—" Kurt trails off, biting his lip. Of course.
"He didn't clearly say it, but I know he was annoyed about me constantly refusing to—go further for no reason. He—he said he saw it as me not trusting him." Kurt pauses and his eyes widen. "Not that he's pressuring me! Not at all! Don't think he's pressuring me!" Kurt blurts out instinctively; his world's Finn would already be out of the door, threatening to break Blaine's legs.
"And you end up here and you're a slut. Maybe it's a sign?" that Finn continues like nothing happened.
"That I need to have sex? That doesn't make much sense."
Finn shrugs. "I don't know, then. Maybe you were sent to make our Kurt easier to live with?"
"I'd rather have to have sex, then."
A week. He's been on the other side of the mirror for an entire week and he's losing his mind. This Kurt is driving him mad, Blaine is too scared of everyone to let Kurt get near him and he's living in this reversed version of his room, not allowed to step out in case Burt or Carole find him. The only highlight is how awesome that version of Finn is.
Still, Kurt is longing for his word like he's never longed for anything before. His biggest worry is that time is still normal on the other side of the mirror and everyone is panicking because he's missing. He really hopes it's not the case.
He's turning all of this in his head during that day's glee club rehearsal, not paying attention to what Mr. Schuester is saying. The other Kurt is blatantly flirting with Sam and Kurt scrunches up his nose. He catches Blaine looking, too, and they both smile and shake their heads when their eyes meet.
"Mr. Schuester, if I may?" Kurt finally says, raising his hand.
"Yes, huh—" Mr. Schuester begins before looking between the two identical boys.
"Victor. I was wondering if I could sing something. I'm going through a very hard time right now and I need to express myself."
Kurt steps down the risers and stops to stand in the middle of the room. He meets the other Kurt's eyes, who stares at him angrily. He had clearly asked Kurt to keep a low profile and not get noticed. Yes, maybe Kurt is less intense than that other version of him, but that is still something he is unable to do, even if he tries.
"When I moved here, earlier this week, I was very surprised by what I found. I thought it would be similar to where I'm from, but I was wrong and it's hard to adjust. Actually, I'm only hoping I'll be able to go back as soon as I can. I'm not where I belong," Kurt explains.
"I told you we should all wear lederhosen to make him feel at home," Brittany whispers to Santana.
Closing his eyes, Kurt starts singing, vocalising a successions of 'ahs'.
I've got that lefty curse
Where everything I do is flipped
And awkwardly reversed
You're seldom known and barely missed
I always put myself
In destructive situations
I need oxygen
To be exposed where no one goes, where no one's been
When it all comes crashing
He catches Blaine's eyes on him and he flashes him a smile, holding back a laugh when the teenager bows his head and blushes.
Now we've got a big, big
Mess on our hands tonight.
Now we've got a big, big
Mess on our hands tonight
Somebody get my phone
So I can throw it in a public
Pool and watch it float
And as it slowly sinking down,
Become a social ghost
Inside a box, cut at the top
To let some light shine in
To remind me what I've done and where I've been
When it all comes crashing
The other Kurt looks really angry, his face red and his hands balled up on his thighs, Sam completely forgotten. Kurt smirks at him before he starts on the chorus.
Now we've got a big, big
Mess on our hands tonight.
Now we've got a big, big, big, big
Mess on our hands, on our hands.
Don't give in, don't give up,
I'll be gone.
You don't look innocent enough.
We're too young to be critics
We won't miss anything at all
Don't give in, don't give up
I don't look innocent with this big, big mess on,
I'll say something else
Before he can finish the song, the other Kurt gets up and loudly announces that it's five o'clock and he's leaving. Kurt stops singing, watching his double storm out of the room. He stands motionless as the room empties, deaf to everyone's apologies, until it's only he and Blaine left.
"Don't mind him, he's an asshole," Blaine says, shrugging.
"But my brother," Kurt replies automatically.
"Who cares? You didn't choose to be his twin."
Kurt smiles at Blaine and starts leaving the choir room, smiling even wider when Blaine follows him.
"You're really good," Blaine comments as they exit the building.
"I bet I sound exactly like Kurt."
"No, you don't actually. There's no passion when Kurt sings. It's like—" Blaine squints, looking for the right words. Kurt swiftly looks away because that's something his Blaine does all the time and it hurts. "He knows he's good so he's not trying. But you, you sounded like you meant every word, and like. I don't know. Like you didn't take your talent for granted."
Kurt literally beams at Blaine's words. "Thank you, that's really nice."
"I mean it."
Their eyes meet and for an instant, Kurt feels like he's back on his side of the mirror, in front of his own Blaine. Too soon, the shadow of fear and uncertainty is back in Blaine's eyes and he looks away.
"I'm really sorry about what you're going through," Kurt tells Blaine as they walk down the street. He has no idea where they're going and he doesn't think Blaine knows, either.
Blaine shrugs. "Three years from now, they'll be cleaning my septic tank."
"You know," Kurt says, smiling. "You remind me of someone I used to know who said exactly the same thing."
"Me," Kurt replies, laughing.
"You had a hard time in—in Bavaria? Why am I not buying this Germany thing?"
"Because it's not true."
"Then where were you all that time? I could have used a friend like you way before. I could have used a friend before, period," Blaine says darkly.
"You have friends!"
"Not really. I hang out with them because of glee club but I'm alone, Kurt."
"You're not alone, Blaine. You're lonely," Kurt says softly, staring at the sidewalk.
"Yeah, that's me. Lonely and stuck with an unrequited crush," Blaine mutters.
"Finn?" Kurt asks tentatively.
Blaine huffs and stops walking. Kurt stands in front of him, his hands in his pockets, patiently waiting. He knows Blaine way better than this one thinks Kurt does, and he knows he shouldn't push him.
"Go on, laugh. I'm in love with your jerk of a twin."
Kurt feels relief washing over him. He's not quite sure why, but he's pretty certain it's to know that he won't have to either break this Blaine's heart or cheat on the other.
"I'm so sorry for you," he whispers, putting his hand on Blaine's shoulder and squeezing it.
Blaine shrugs again and Kurt really hates seeing him so unassuming and passive. He really misses his furniture-climbing-Gap-serenading boyfriend.
Blaine walks him to his door and when Kurt walks in, he's roughly dragged to the other Kurt's room.
"What were you doing with him?" the other Kurt asks roughly, glaring at him.
"We were talking. You know, like friends do. Not everyone thinks he's a loser."
"Who said you could start weaving yourself into my world?"
"Who told me to come over in the first place?" Kurt throws back, feeling anger bubbling inside of him. This Kurt has been nothing but a prick to him the entire week and he's had enough.
"You think you're such a better person, Kurt, don't you? You think you're wise and know how life works and you're so full of yourself and your importance."
"Look who's talking! You're absolutely terrible to every single person in your life. No one can stand you, Kurt! No one!" Kurt snarls, the other Kurt's face turning beet red.
"That's what you think! Just because I'm not a hypocrite and say what I think to people's faces, I'm a bitch, is that it? Then so be it! At least I'm authentic! I know you think Finn's an idiot or Rachel is annoying, but you're oh so sweet with them all the time. What good does it do?"
"It makes people like you!" Kurt shouts. "It means you're not constantly alone!"
"I'm not alone! I have plenty of friends!"
"No, you have plenty of fuck friends." Kurt's eyes widens at the swear word.
"It felt good, didn't it? Swearing? I know you enjoyed it."
Kurt breathes out and sits on the bed he's been forced to share with his double for the week. "I think this is what's supposed to happen."
"What?" the other Kurt snaps, sitting next to him.
"We have to face each other. We're clearly two extremes and we're supposed to find the middle to our behaviours."
"So, I'm supposed to become less of a slut and you're supposed to learn to let loose?"
"Or you're supposed to become nicer, and I have to learn to—let loose. You're right." The other Kurt quirks his eyebrow in triumph. "And you need to open your eyes and see how much Blaine likes you and how you really like him back." Kurt knows it's petty but he needed something to hurt him, anything.
"But he's a loser!" It's almost a whine and the tone surprises Kurt more than the words.
"So what? He's handsome and so sweet, Kurt, you have no idea."
"I don't want someone who's sweet, Kurt," the other Kurt snarls.
"No but you need someone to be sweet with you. I bet you anything that no one's ever been soft with you. You're all over football players, but has anyone ever just—just stroked your cheek? Or told you you are beautiful? Sent you flowers, or passed notes during classes?"
"Sweet is boring," he deadpans. "I like hot, fast and dirty.
Kurt stares into the blue eyes of his double, biting his lip. Maybe, maybe part of what he has to learn in that world is to step out of this fairy tale he lives in, and open his eyes to the real world?
"I'm giving myself the right to step out of this at any moment," Kurt says under his breath and before his double can ask what he's talking about, he kisses him.
The other Kurt kisses him back, leaning closer and putting his hand on Kurt's thigh, already trying to intensify the kiss. Kurt puts his hand on his shoulder to make sure he won't try to crawl into his lap too quickly.
"Slow down," he mumbles against his double's lips, stroking his shoulder. "There's no hurry."
The other Kurt nods and lets Kurt push him backwards and it's awkward and weird until Kurt's double is lying against his pillows, his fingers laced through Kurt's hair and his tongue licking at the lips of the boy on top of him.
"I can't believe I'm making out with myself," the other Kurt whispers when he pulls away to breath.
"I can't believe I'm making out with you. I hate you. You're a jerk."
"Yes, but I'm you. No matter what, you'll always like me because I'm part of you. I'm like that part you repress, and you're the part of me I repress."
"Shut up, Freud," Kurt snaps before kissing him again, understanding now why Blaine always talks about how wonderful his lips are.
After a few minutes of making out, there's a shift and it becomes more intense and heated. Kurt moves from lying half on top of the other Kurt to straddle him and anxiety starts building up inside of him. This is as far as he's gone with Blaine.
"Hey, relax, it's okay," the other Kurt whispers, stroking up and down his arm.
"I'm not nervous."
"I'm you, I know you're nervous. I've done this hundreds of time. Just—"
The other Kurt flips them over, straddling Kurt's thighs and wiggling his eyebrows until Kurt giggles. His laughter gets caught in his throat when the other Kurt presses his hips down against his. Kurt gasps and bucks up, blushing when he realises what he's done.
"If you're going to be bashful, you're getting out of my bed," the other Kurt snaps, rolling his eyes. "See this as masturbation, if it makes you feel better."
No, it definitely doesn't. Before Kurt can protest, his double has leaned down and is kissing him again, rough and messy and Kurt never thought he would enjoy that but he does, oh wow, he really does. The other Kurt is grinding down against him and Kurt's starting to roll his hips up to meet with him and his pants are really starting to be too tight. He shifts uncomfortably and reaches between the two of them to undo the button of his jeans.
"Can you do mine, too?" the other Kurt asks, smirking mischievously.
Kurt rolls his eyes and obliges, gasping when his double picks up his abandoned rhythm, getting faster and rougher with every roll of his hips. It doesn't take long for Kurt to reach his climax and he clings to his double's shirt as his entire body shudders. Not long after he's fallen against the pillows, panting, the other Kurt joins him, his pants in synch with Kurt's.
Kurt reaches up and pushes the other Kurt's bang out of his forehead, smiling when his hand gets pushed away with an annoyed sigh.
"You showed me rough, now let me show you soft," Kurt whispers, pulling him closer and forcing him to lay his head on his chest. His double eventually stops struggling and Kurt can stroke his hair and massage his scalp freely.
It doesn't last long. Before Kurt's breathing is back to normal, the other one pushes himself up and rolls his eyes. "As I said, soft is boring."
Kurt sits up and sighs. "I guess I tried. Maybe I'm not here to change you, but only to be changed? That doesn't sound too stupid, does it?"
"You know what would be really stupid?" the other Kurt asks as he buttons his pants, completely ignoring Kurt.
"If you were able to go back, now."
Kurt's eyes widen and he scrambles off the bed, buttoning his pants and almost running to the mirror. His double comes to stand next to him and they stare at the glass.
"Touch it," the other Kurt whispers.
Kurt nods and reaches forward. His finger goes through the mirror and he lets out a happy cry.
"And so it came to pass that the chaste little boy saw all of his worries disappear when he finally did something slightly sexual," the other Kurt deadpans.
Kurt ignores him and runs out of the room, barging into Finn's.
"Finn! I can go home! It's working!"
"Really? That's awesome!" he says half-heartedly.
"I'll miss you, you know. My Finn is kind of an idiot. I mean, more than you are."
Finn grins and gets up. "Let's get you home, then."
"If you want to hug me, you should do it before we leave this room because the other Kurt won't like it."
Finn nods and pulls Kurt into a hug, squeezing him tightly. "I'll miss you, you odd version of Kurt."
"And I will, you."
They walk back to Kurt's room and find him looking at the empty room on the other side of the mirror pensively.
"Don't you even think about it," Kurt snaps, pushing him away from the mirror. "That's my world and I'm going back without you."
Kurt climbs up on the table and takes a deep breath. Before he crosses, a thought pops in his mind. He crouches down and grabs a piece of paper and a pencil.
"What's that?" the other Kurt asks when he sees him scribbling down on it.
"Blaine's phone number."
With that, Kurt crosses on the other side, shivering in the cold feeling of the mirror around him. He jumps off the desk and looks back at the mirror. His reflection is back and looks completely normal. He blinks a few times and only then notices Finn standing next to him.
"Why were you standing up on your desk?" Finn asks him.
Kurt stalls and stares at him with wide eyes. "I was—killing a spider."
Finn nods. "Okay. Hey, we really need to go. You should fix your hair."
Finn starts leaving the room and stops in the doorway, turning back to look at Kurt.
"What is it, Finn?"
"You look different." Kurt gives him a puzzled look until he shrugs.
"Alright, I'll be down in a second. I need to call Blaine, first."
"Can't you do it in the car? We're going to be late."
"You want to hear me talk about sex with my boyfriend?"
Finn pales and leaves the room quickly, shouting 'you have five minutes' over his shoulder. As the phone rings, Kurt wonders, on a scale of one to ten, how weird it would be to tell Blaine he's ready to take that next step because he's already done it with himself. After all, if he phrases it right, it won't be any weirder than telling him he's jerked off.