DISCLAIMER: I definitely do not own this at all.

Last/First Kiss

She still attempted to tame her curls when she was young. Her eyes were still rebellious and every word that dropped from her sly lips was sarcastic, but she still second-guessed herself and her Doctor.

The Doctor loved her now; they had travelled together for so many years of his own life, more than any other companion since she travelled on her own twisted timeline. He had saved her more times than he could count, and she had saved his life in ways she did not understand. Not anymore.

He remembered the day when he finally knew her more than she knew him. He had always wanted to know her spoilers. Now he had them, and he watched as she forgot. It hurt, and it made him miss his River as she whispered with a seductive smile, "spoilers."

But he still loved this young River, who was growing into that gorgeous woman who would teach him how to let someone else lead. His young River was curious, and he enjoyed teaching her how to be the woman he had grown to love, just as she had made him into the man that she loved.

It was all back to front for them. He understood now, and he would not change their story.

Now this young River squeezed his hand back in surprise as he grabbed hers with a grin. He was walking her to her door. Their adventure was over for now.

She smiled up at him, her face so fresh and youthful.

"River Song. Saving the world with the daft old man," he commented wistfully. The Doctor watched her face grow excited at the prospect of their adventures.

"Do I ever travel with you like your companions?" she asked, looking hopeful.

The Doctor put his arm over her shoulder, pulling her closer and kissing her hairline lightly. "You're far to independent for that."

She let her shoulders drop in disappointment, but only for a moment. They walked the last steps to the doorway with his arm over her shoulder. They stopped at the doorway.

"River." He found her eyes and leaned down so they were equal. "You're so much more than a companion." He bit his own tongue before he went to far; telling her how much he loved her and how they would travel together for the rest of her life. "But you know I can't give away any spoilers."

"Always the spoilers." She shook her head in frustration.

He smiled, and she shrugged, letting his hands fall from her shoulders. "Goodbye, Doctor."

She turned and began to shuffle with her lock.

"Come on," he said with a smile in his voice, "Don't be angry."

He spun her around and pulled her into a soft kiss. He smiled into it as he threaded his fingers in her hair. She reacted more slowly than usual but was soon slipping her fingers around his waist. This kiss was more chaste than he was used to, as they always were now, since River was so young and so inexperienced with them together.

He pulled away after only a short moment, still smiling, but let his forehead rest on hers. When he looked into her eyes, he knew something was wrong. Her eyes were wide and shocked, her lips lacking their usual smirk.

"River?" He whispered watching her bright eyes with alarm.

She sputtered over her words. "Doctor…that was…I…spoilers." She grinned finally.

He jerked away quickly, watching the young girl in front of him. "You haven't kissed me yet?"

She shook her head, with a widening smile. "I knew it. I didn't think…but don't I get old? We are so similar looking in age right now."

He gently slipped his hand over her mouth. "Spoilers."

She frowned, but it didn't reach her eyes. Those beautiful and young eyes were dancing happily in the moonlight. She had won this round.

He let her go, and she bounced into her house, glancing over at him with a flirtatious wave.

As she walked away, his heart began to sink.

Back to front for them.

Lasts and firsts were so hard for Time Lords to accept, since they had no linear view of the universe. But with River, their story had always been symmetrical and beautiful, and he would not change the way things had turned out.

He was reaching the end; he knew this would happen, but it did not lessen the aching feeling in his chest. He remembered when he had first experienced River Song's kiss, in that cell in Stormcage, when he did not know what to do with his hands. It had been so long since he felt that way about someone, and he had not really yet sorted out his feelings for that woman with the wild hair and even wilder secrets.

He remembered the panic in her eyes as she realized she was seeing the end. He wondered if his young River saw his heart break, like he had seen hers all those years ago. Probably not. He was so good at hiding his feelings, and she did not know how to see them yet.

As he opened the door to the TARDIS, he was determined for their last/first kisses to not be with breaking hearts. He would find her, before she died, even if it ripped the universe open. He would break their timeline, for just that one time. He would take her somewhere special. Both of them, in love with the other, and holding each other for maybe the last time.

He settled his hands on the gears of the TARDIS, wanting so badly to put this off. This would be the best night for them, the absolutely most perfect night, and he did not want it to happen.

"When she first meets me. Right after," he promised to the TARDIS. He breathed deeply through his nose, forcing himself to push these thoughts from his mind, for now.

His worse day was coming. When River Song would see him, and not recognize him. When those clever, brilliant, beautiful eyes would not light up as he strode into the room. His hearts would both break.

After that fateful meeting, he would take his broken heart, travel to the days before the fateful Library, and say goodbye to his River Song.