Disclaimer: I do not own PBS, Soup 2 Nuts, or WordGirl.
LADY REDUNDANT DAMSEL IN DISTRESS!
Look out for the words 'Conspiracy,' and 'Horde'.
We join our hero, WordGirl, as she takes on another villain who is threatening the city.
"You mean was threatening the city" she said as she flew a pair of hogtied villains (The Butcher and Dr. Two-Brains) to jail, "It was real easy to uncover The Butcher and Dr. Two-Brains' conspiracy to turn the bank into a meat-and-cheese platter!"
Captain Huggyface, on her shoulder, nodded agreement.
Well, you sure work fast.
"Thanks. Now, all that remains is to turn them over to the...Police?" WordGirl suddenly noticed, to her shock, that a lot of policemen were pacing just outside of their headquarters looking unhappy!
She zoomed down, and asked Commissioner Watson what was going on. In response, he said, "There's a horde of thugs outside City Hall, and they're forcing the mayor to sign a law that fires all policemen in the city! He's gonna sign it any minute now...want a donut?" he said as he held out a small donut, "We won't be needing them soon..."
Captain Huggyface reached for it hungrily...and then WordGirl handed it to him, saying: "Just one for the road. We've got a Mayor to save! WOOOOORRRRRD UP!"
As WordGirl zoomed off into the sky, the policemen suddenly heard: "Hey! What about me?" They turned around, and saw a rather disappointed Dr. Two-Brains, lying forgotten on the sidewalk next to the Butcher.
Across town, at City Hall...
The Mayor stood in front of his podium, surrounded on all sides by a hundred intimidating men with identical features and costumes (Basketball-thick muscles with ridiculously tiny elbows and knees; black bodysuits with spikes on the shoulders, belt, wrists, and ankles; a black wrestler's mask with green borders around the eyes and mouth). He held his pen in his trembling hand, slowly inching it towards a piece of paper on the podium (the policeman-firing law), sweating all over while he did so...
...when all of a sudden, he's swept into the air by a high-velocity flying object, which he quickly realizes is WordGirl!
"Huggy! Distract that horde while I get the Mayor to safety!"
Captain Huggyface held his thumb up, and then leaped off of her shoulder, straight towards the mass of thugs. He landed right in the middle of the group, which immediately started closing in on him, intending to grab him. Unfortunately for them, he quickly jumped up into the air, landing on one of the thugs' heads. They tried to grab him again, but Huggy ran across the sea of heads, leaving them nothing to grab but thin air.
After about a minute of this, Huggy made it to the edge of the crowd...but he landed the wrong way on the last thug, causing him to fall over backwards! The two of them struck the ground...
...and the thug disappeared, leaving scattered paper sheets in his place!
By now, WordGirl had returned to the fight (having deposited the mayor on top of City Hall, away from harm), and had seen this. She quickly deduced where these thugs had come from...and what to do.
Without much delay, she descended into the crowd, and started spinning around with her super-speed, creating a small tornado. When the dust cleared, the thugs were nowhere to be seen, and there was paper all over the grounds of City Hall. No sooner had the last thug disappeared, when WordGirl flew the Mayor down to the ground once again.
"Well," she said, "That was real easy...but we still have to take down the person who organized this horde, so our job's not done yet! WOOOOORRRRRD UP!" as she lifted off into the sky.
Unknown to WordGirl or Captain Huggyface, their fight was watched by people other than the mayor...
As the Narrator outlined this, he pointed out a hidden camera on one of the pillars of City Hall.
*(one scene transition later)*
The camera led to one of many video screens in a mysterious underground lair...where it's occupant, a man with a goatee, a green striped business suit, and several different name tags pinned to said suit (all of which said the same thing), smashed his hand on one of the control panels below the screens.
"That was a complete disaster! An utter failure! A total embarrassment! I can't believe she took down those drawings with such speed, such quickness, and such swiftness!"
"Umm...Excuse me? Pardon me? It seems I've finished, fulfilled, and completed the purpose for which you kidnapped me for, so...can I go now?"
"Hmm, let me think about it, ponder it, and consider it for a second...no. Mr. A. Gain, Mr. Re. Peat, please make sure that our...guest...doesn't try anything dumb, anything stupid, or anything idiotic, thank you." he said, as he looked at two large men in business suits with shaved heads and sunglasses (the only way to tell them apart was their nametags, which said 'Alfred Gain' and 'Remus Peat').
As they took up positions beside a person strapped to the wall, the man at the control panel continued: "We're still on for business. After all, WordGirl still hasn't realized the true mastermind behind this plot, this scheme, this conspiracy; she thinks it's all the work of one person...You, Lady Redundant Woman!"
As he said that, the light suddenly went on, revealing the person strapped to the wall to be none other than Lady Redundant Woman…with several pipes connected to her sides.
"Luckily for me, Ronald Edgar Dundant (he pointed to one of his business cards, which said R.E. Dundant), I am completely unknown to the police, the cops, the fuzz. I can pursue my conspiracy with little, minimal, hardly any interference!"
Nice name. Looks a lot like 'redundant…'
"Thank you, Thanks, Gracias. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a horde to make…"
"Forget it, Dundant. You're not making me cooperate, collaborate, or work with you again. I've had enough with this place, and I can't take it here, and I do not like this location!"
R.E. Dundant laughed (and chortled and chuckled) in response. "Silly girl; You don't have a choice! As long as I keep pumping paper and ink into your systems, you must make copies, duplicates, and replicas of what I tell you to…that is, if you don't want to have your systems become plugged...clogged…or blocked!" And having said all that, he reached over to his control panel, and pressed a button.
"Oh, and don't try and call for help, aid, or assistance; to WordGirl, you're the criminal here. She'd rather throw you in jail than help you!"
Suddenly, the pipes connected to Lady Redundant Woman started glowing, as ink and paper was suddenly thrown into her internal reserves at an alarming rate. Feeling her ink reserves being filled to the brim, she started to become dizzy from all the fluid sloshing around within her. Then came the headache, which made her head swim even more. Then, all of a sudden, the screen on her chestplate suddenly flashed the words 'PAPER JAM' in a large red format.
Considerably frightened, Lady Rendundant Woman shouted: "OK! ALL RIGHT! ENOUGH! YOU WIN! I GIVE!"
"That's much better. Now, will you work with me? Cooperate? Collaborate?"
"Yes! Sure! Of Course!" Lady Redundant Woman desperately exclaimed. No sooner had she said that, than Mr. Gain produced a small piece of paper from his shirt pocket, and stuffed it into her mouth while Mr. Peat released her right arm from its restraints.
Quickly, she pressed her free hand's pointer finger to her nose, activating the copy-machine part of her anatomy. The 'PAPER JAM' note on her chest disappeared, and a green glowing substance poured out of her…congealing into an exact copy of the kind of thug that attacked City Hall (ridiculously thick muscles, spiked gloves and boots, black-and-green wrestler's mask)!
The evil copy walked away, as Lady Redundant Woman pressed her nose again, resulting in another copy….and another…and another…
R.E. Dundant laughed maniacally as he saw his army grow. "YES! This is more of what I expected from you earlier, before, in bygone days, Lady Redundant Woman!"
Beatrice, having finished making another horde, suddenly asked: "What are you talking, speaking, and chatting about?"
"Isn't it obvious, appearant, or clear, Lady Redundant Woman? I'm…the one who created you!" Mr. Dundant proclaimed proudly, earning a gasp from Beatrice.
I sure hope WordGirl figures out what's going on soon…
WordGirl and Captain Huggyface soared across the city skyline, headed straight for where they thought the horde originated from…
"Huggy, are you ready? This could be another fight."
Captain Huggyface screeched in a confident manner, prompting WordGirl to respond: "Alright then; let's do it!" Then, she dived towards the ground…and landed right outside the automatic doors of the local Copy Shop, which opened up right away.
WordGirl and her sidekick dashed inside, and she shouted: "The show's over, Lady Redundant Woman!"
"Oh, hi WordGirl!" exclaimed Dave, the manager. "You looking for Beatrice?" he asked, to which she nodded.
Dave's normally ever-present smile turned into a slight frown as he sighed, and said: "I'm sorry. Beatrice hasn't shown up all day! I'm a little worried…"
"You should be; she created a horde of evil tough-guys, and used them to threaten the mayor!"
Dave didn't respond. Assuming he didn't quite understand her, WordGirl explained: "You know, a horde! A really large group of people; it means the same thing as crowd or mob!"
"It's not that…it's just…Beatrice never abandons her copy machine unless she's in jail!" Dave said, as he pointed to the copy machine in the middle of the room…which an employee was having considerable trouble with.
"Argh! The copies came out all smeared!" complained the employee.
"Huh. That never happened when Beatrice was working on that machine…" Dave said, in a puzzled tone…
"HEEELLLP! A horde of evil tough guys are wreaking havoc all over the park! Somebody send an officer over there and-"
"Sorry, this isn't the police station," remarked WordGirl, as she pointed to the left; "Three blocks that way."
"Thanks, WordGirl! HEEEEEEELLLLLP!"
WordGirl sighed, and said: "Looks like she's at it again." With one last look at Dave, she grabbed Captain Huggyface, shouted WOOORRRD UP!" and soared off towards the park.
As she left, Dave turned towards the copy machine Beatrice used to work at…and noticed something odd on the smeared copies:
"Hey, that looks like….Beatrice!"
Later, at the park…
From the air, areas of the park looked almost completely black, as the copy-thugs were all over. People ran away in whatever direction was open, as the black-clothed musclemen ripped up the ground, knocked over trees, and threw trash-cans all over the place.
One threw a recycling bin high into the air…only for it to be caught by WordGirl!
"Paper goes in the recycling!" she shouted, as she dived towards the crowd, holding the bin in front of her! As she struck each copy-thug with the bin, it was instantly turned into paper, which was scooped up into the bin itself. One minute later, all the copy-thugs were just stacks of paper in the recycling.
After she said, "I sure hope we can find her before another horde pops up," WordGirl spent a few minutes undoing the damage done to the park…as R.E. Dundant looked on from another hidden camera.
*(one scene transition later)*
R.E. Dundant smashed his hand against the control panel again, shouting "Again! Repeat!"
"Yes?" asked both of his goons (Mr. A. Gain and Mr. Re. Peat).
"No, not you, I wasn't talking about you guys… I was talking about WordGirl, that annoying, aggravating, bothersome superhero that keeps ruining my plans!"
"Ummm, Mr. Dundant?…" Lady Redundant Woman cut in, "Would you mind explaining, revealing, and describing why you said you 'created me?' You're definitely not my father, nor my parent!"
I'm kinda curious myself.
R.E. Dundant sighed. "Oh well. I guess it was going to be mentioned or brought to light sooner or later. You see, I'm the mastermind, head honcho, and grand poobah of a grand conspiracy; one that started at the 'Factory of Redundancy Manufacturing Inc.,' where they make copy machines. Me and a few of my friends and companions snuck into the factory, and added a little extra feature, an extra component, to one of the machines…a 'merge with copier' system!"
Lady Redundant Woman's eyes widened: This guy made the copy machine she was using that fateful day!
"The hope was, the person who merged with the machine would be malicious, mean, or evil; and would want to use his (or her) new powers to take over the city…which would turn to me as soon as I revealed that I could shut down and deactivate this new threat (and yes, I do have the 'off' button.)! I would be rich, wealthy, and reasonably well-off!" R.E. Dundant laughed (and chortled and chuckled) as he remembered the days when he was plotting his scheme out…
… "Of course," he said, as his face returned to its former angry state "all you want is to be manager of your worthless, insignificant, valueless copy shop! You could've beaten or defeated that 'WordGirl' any time you wanted to, but you didn't! You're a waste of good villainy!"
"HEY!" shouted an indignant Beatrice.
"We tried sending another copy machine to someone else (I also have the off-button for that), but it must've gotten lost or misplaced in the mail. So, in order for me to do further my plot, my scheme, my conspiracy, I needed to kidnap you; which…brings us back to the problem of me no longer having a horde of copy-thugs…" R.E. Dundant rubbed his hands as he did, prompting Lady Redundant Woman to gulp.
*(one scene transition later)*
WordGirl finished cleaning up after the fight, and went over to help Captain Huggyface with his end of the job…only to find him just standing there, focused on one of the sheets of paper left behind by the copy-thugs!
"Huggy? Are you OK?" she asked; upon hearing it, Huggyface showed her an extremely tiny set of writing on the corner of the page, and screeched at her.
"You can't read it? Don't worry…hmm…" WordGirl focused on the line with her enhanced vision, and pretty soon was able to make out the words: "Factory of Redundancy Manufacturing Inc."
WordGirl suddenly realized something, and she said it out loud: "Wait…Lady Redundant Woman never left any writing on her copy paper before! Why now?..."
Meanwhile, at the copy shop…
"Hmm…" Dave pondered as he examined the smeared copies, "Why would the copy machine print smears of Beatrice?"
Just then, he suddenly heard the copy machine whir to life on its own! As Dave looked on in shock, a piece of paper slid out of the machine…with a nearly perfect image of Beatrice in her Lady Redundant Woman form! Right after that, another piece of paper came out, this time showing two people in sunglasses and green suits attacking her! The next one showed them dragging her away!
"Oh, dear! That's why she wasn't here today…Those two, whoever they are, had a conspiracy to kidnap her! I need to tell WordGirl!" Within a second, he was running towards the door…
…but before he got there, he bumped into a bunch of muscular men in black tights that were blocking his way!
"Umm, pardon me," he said to them, "but I really need to tell WordGirl something, and I can't really do that with a horde in between me and the door…so…"
Dave suddenly realized that they weren't paying attention to anything he said. In fact, they were glaring at him very angrily…
*(one scene transition later)*
"I'm going to ask you once: where did you get, obtain, and acquire that copy machine?" R.E. Dundant asked Dave.
Dave (standing in between A. Gain and Re. Peat) said in a frightened manner: "Where the store normally gets its stuff…the Factory of Redundancy Manufacturing Inc.!"
Suddenly, the mastermind's eyes opened wide; "The missing copier! We don't have to rely on Lady Redundant Woman to get our horde anymore! We can just go get that copier, and fuse it to someone more villainous, more evil, more criminal…in short, someone like myself."
"Come, my horde! Let us bring our conspiracy to a grand finish!" Having said that, R.E. Dundant and his army of copy-thugs walked through the doors to the secret room, leaving Dave trapped with A. Gain and Re. Peat.
After a minute, a timid Dave heard: "Well, looks like you've been caught in the same mess, the same predicament, the same problem as I have."
"Beatrice!" exclaimed Dave, as he just noticed Lady Redundant Woman on the wall. "Are you Okay?"
"What does it look like, Dave? What do you think?" said Lady Redundant Woman, in an indignant manner.
"Beatrice…had I known sooner, WordGirl would've been here to help right away!"
Suddenly, Lady Redundant Woman glared at him; "Is that supposed to make me better? The instant you'd have mentioned my name, she'd thrown me in prison, in jail, and in the slammer! I'm the villain she knows about, not R.E. Dundant! Let's face the truth, the facts, he planned out his conspiracy very well." And with that, Lady Redundant Woman looked at the floor, despairing…
…when all of a sudden, a yellow streak blasted its way inside! The next thing anyone heard was: "Did someone say 'Conspiracy?'"
"WordGirl!" everyone shouted.
"A Conspiracy is when two or more people get together to plan something, usually against the law. And from the looks of things, Lady Redundant Woman's not part of this conspiracy!"
Lady Redundant Woman felt relieved…but then, she asked: "Wait…how did you know I wasn't a part of, had nothing to do with, and was completely excluded from this conspiracy?"
"Well, what kind of villain would tell me where their hideout is?" she answered, producing the piece of paper that said 'Factory of Redundancy Manufacturing Inc.' before continuing: "That company has an abandoned factory in this very city!"
Nice deduction!...but there's more than one abandoned factory in this city! How did you know which one?
"HEEEELLLP! The owner of the copy shop has been kidnapped!... Is this the police station?"
Suddenly, A. Gain shouted "Grab her!" and rushed her along with Re. Peat… only to discover Captain Huggyface had tied their shoelaces together, as they fell flat on their faces.
"How embarrassing! How humiliating!" commented Lady Redundant Woman.
WordGirl thanked her as she undid all of their restraints. Then, she asked "But if you weren't behind those copy-thugs, who was?"
Beatrice, in a tone dripping with anger, said: "That idiotic imbecile R.E. Dundant kidnapped me, and forced me to make them! Not to mention he persuaded me as well."
WordGirl (who had just tied up A. Gain and Re. Peat) said: "Well, under normal circumstances, I'd say you were making that up…but that's the kind of story that's real easy to prove. All we need to do is find R.E. Dundant…
"HEEEELLLP! Another horde is heading towards the copy shop!"
"…and that's probably where he is. By the way, this is an abandoned factory, not the police station."
Upon hearing WordGirl say this, the embarrassed man in a green sweater sheepishly stepped out of sight…and then resumed his endless quest for the police station, screaming "HEEEELLLLP!" all the way.
Let's cut to the horde, shall we? And spare that guy further embarrassment?
R.E. Dundant, with a large amount of copy-thugs behind him, walked through the streets of Fair City without any problem. Everyone ran away at the sight of the horde, and the Police were too busy celebrating (They were still going to keep their jobs, after all).
"Soon," R.E. Dundant said expectantly, "soon the power of duplicating, cloning, and copying myself shall be mine! ALL MINE! Bwah-hahaha! Mwa-hahaha! Wah-hahaha!" The evil mastermind laughed his way into the copy shop, where his goal stood in plain view.
"Ah, my creation… my invention… my handiwork…soon your evil purpose will be fulfilled!" He applied pressure to a certain point on the machine, and awaited the 'Merge with Copier' button to appear…
…but instead, the control panel on the machine flashed the words 'PAPER JAM'.
"WHAT? That wasn't what was meant to happen! You're supposed to show me, reveal, and display the button!" And then, R.E. Dundant readied his foot to kick the machine…
….when a sudden 'whoosh' of air behind him alerted him to the coming of uninvited guests: Dave, WordGirl, Captain Huggyface, and Lady Redundant Woman.
"Step, walk, and move away from my baby, you maniac!" shouted Lady Redundant Woman.
"Or else what? I have a horde at my command, my bidding, and my direction!" boasted R.E. Dundant as his minions assembled themselves in a threatening formation that intimidated even WordGirl.
However, Lady Redundant Woman was unfazed. R.E. Dundant had threatened her beloved copy machine, and this act of mean-spiritedness would not go unpunished. And to prove this…she started moving her hand towards her nose.
"No…NO! Not that! You wouldn't!..."
"You're wrong, incorrect, and in error, Dundant. I would." And with that, Lady Redundant Woman pressed her hand to her nose, as R.E. Dundant cringed in fear…
…and he opened his eyes again, to find his thugs still there! Lady Redundant Woman hadn't recalled them after all! Then, he looked through the gaps in his minions' formation, and saw that she had done something: copy herself over and over again!
"HA! Now I have my own horde, Dundant! Are you ready to give up? Surrender? Throw in the Towel?"
His confidence regained, R.E. Dundant said "Hmmm, let me think about it, ponder it, and consider it….no. HORDE! ATTACK THEM!" And as he shouted that last phrase, his thugs did just that.
"Me, Myself, and I…CHARGE!" shouted Lady Redundant Woman.
As the two repeating criminals looked on, the two armies charged towards each other, each like a mighty wave about to crash upon the shore…
…except when these waves crashed against each other, they all disappeared in a shower of paper.
"Lame? Unsatisfactory? Unimpressive?" suggested Lady Redundant Woman.
R.E. Dundant, after he recovered from the shock of having his army suddenly vanish, said: "Oh, it doesn't matter! I shall soon be able to create, make, and produce one of my own!" And he then reached for the copy machine; "Soon, my conspiracy will be finished, completed, and-"
Just then WordGirl interrupted: "Wait, don't you need two or more people for it to be a conspiracy?"
"But I have two fellow conspirators, and accomplices! It is a conspiracy!"
"If you're talking about your goons, they're tied up at the factory. They're in no condition to plan with you." she said, simply stating the facts.
Again, R.E. Dundant paused…but only for a second. "Alright, so it's just a plot now. But now, my plot will be finished, completed, and finalized!" he exclaimed, as he turned around, again, towards the copy machine.
But just as he was about to activate the 'merge' system, Captain Huggyface leaped off the copier, and knocked R.E. Dundant onto the ground!
"ARGH!" he exclaimed in frustration, as he began to sit up…but then he noticed WordGirl, Huggyface, and Lady Redundant Woman standing above him.
"…Okay! Fine! Very well! You've beaten, humbled, and defeated me."
"You forgot 'vanquished'." WordGirl commented."
"Not to mention 'subdued' and 'trounced'." added Lady Redundant Woman.
Captain Huggyface added his own synonyms in as well, but his language was only understood by WordGirl (who said "Good one!")
In a very short order, Police Commissioner Watson (with Re. Peat and A. Gain handcuffed behind him) walked in to take R.E. Dundant away. As Watson entered the shop, R.E. Dundant instantly recognized him: "You! You're the detective, the investigator, the private eye that was trying to bust my conspiracy!"
"Well, well, well. R.E. Dundant. Seems I got to finish that job after all! Thank you so much, WordGirl!"
Just then, Dave cut in; "She couldn't have done it without Beatrice's help! We all owe her so much!"
Lady Redundant Woman laughed, and waved her hand in an 'it was nothing' manner…until she heard the word 'owe.' Then, she asked "Hmm… Owe me? How about…An advancement? An elevation? A…Promotion?"
WordGirl sighed, "Here we go with the whole 'manager' thing again," as she looked at the villainess, then at Dave…who said "Beatrice, there's nothing more I'd love to do, but…"
"But what?" asked Lady Redundant Woman (and WordGirl).
"…but your parole time is just too long. How about I make you manager for a day instead?"
Beatrice exploded with delight…so much so, in fact, that she fainted.
And so, WordGirl, Captain Huggyface, and Lady Redundant Woman saved the city from an evil conspiracy to make a horde of evil copies…that would've done some evil things, I guess.
Be sure to catch the next thrilling story of, WORDGIRL!
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