The Romance of Aonghas and Anders
An Exercise in Submission to One's Desires
Part One: Finding Each other Again
Aonghas stepped into his bedchamber to find Anders sitting in his armchair. Aonghas paused in surprise to stare. Anders lay draped over the chair; one leg was flung over an armrest and his face was tilted towards the ceiling as his head leaned over the back of the chair exposing the older man's bare throat. Aonghas swallowed against a lump in his own throat and stepped over to stare down at the man he had taken advantage of twice in his chamber at Vigil's Keep. Anders' soft snores permeated the room as Aonghas continued to stare. Aonghas reached out and ran a finger from the ex-warden's chin and down along the curve of the man's Adams apple before beginning to slowly trace the edge of the sleeping man's collar with all of his fingers. The brushing of his fingers slowly forced the collar the slightest bit lower exposing more skin to his gaze. He felt Anders jerk against his fingers and he looked up quickly to find the man looking at him intently and as Anders continued to meet his gaze Aonghas could feel himself flush as his breathing became ragged. Aonghas stepped back and turned away trying to control his breathing and his body before speaking. "Is there something you want, Anders?"
"You said you came here for me. What did you mean by that? Hawke says you left Ferelden without telling anybody. He said you haven't been in contact with the Wardens. Is that true?" Aonghas continued struggling against his body's reaction to Anders and he knew he would not be able to respond without giving away his attraction to the other mage. He knew the moment Anders stood and began walking to him because he felt the man's presence getting closer. Despite his best efforts a tremor rocked through him when Anders placed a hand on his shoulder while stepping around him so they could stand face to face. "Talk to me, Aonghas."
"I heard what happened and what was done to you." Aonghas avoided Anders gaze by staring intently at the older man's neckline, but it did nothing to alleviate the trembling of his body.
"How could you have," asked Anders in a surprised tone?
"My cousin wrote to Fergus and Fergus contacted me." Aonghas shuddered as Anders' grip on his shoulder tightened slightly and finally he looked up and expressed what he had been thinking for months upon months. "I cannot believe you took Justice into you."
"Are you here to judge me or take me back to face the Wardens?" Aonghas could hear the fear in Anders' voice that he was here for those very reasons.
Aonghas shook his head vigorously and looked at Anders pleadingly as he addressed the older man's fears. "No. I wouldn't do that to you."
Anders frowned and raised his other hand so that he was gripping both of Aonghas' shoulders before asking in a determined voice. "Are you done with the Wardens?"
Aonghas felt his trembling increase as he struggled with the urge to be dishonest but he knew lying in this instance would cause him nothing but trouble later down the road. "I don't know what the future will hold, but I am for now."
"Are you afraid of me, Aonghas?"
"No, of course not!"
"Yet, you have not stopped shaking since I placed my hand on your shoulder. Are you sick?"
Aonghas was about to deny being sick and being afraid when he paused and began wondering the same thing himself. Was he afraid of Anders? Why was his body reacting the way it was? "I don't know why, but I'm not sick and I'm not afraid of you."
Anders released his hold on Aonghas' shoulders and backed up. "You should be afraid of me." Aonghas swallowed hard at Anders tone and shuddered involuntarily making him wonder if maybe he was afraid of what his fellow mage had become. He watched his own realization being echoed by Anders and he felt his own heart clench in pain as for the fleetest of moments a look of despair appeared on the older man's face. Anders turned his head preparing to walk away, "I think it is best that I just go."
Aonghas suddenly felt his control return in a surge at the prospect of losing Anders and he stepped towards Anders quickly, "Wait! I am not afraid of you. I just don't know what to expect of Justice. I don't know enough about how you have changed. I want to be with you. Please don't leave me."
"I have always wanted you, Aonghas." Anders raised his hand and cupped the side of Aonghas' face and as he continued speaking he slowly guided Aonghas in closer. "I thought I had lost you and then you were here and said you came to be with me. I want to be with you too." Aonghas felt his knees give way slightly as he felt the power behind Anders' touch but he eagerly returned the kiss when Anders finally brought their lips together. It was a deeply passionate kiss but there was no evidence of aggression on either side and Aonghas found himself relaxing against the older man as their kiss stretched onwards, leaving them both flushed and breathing heavily.