Each chapter will be a short drabble I wrote for the awesome LJ Community that is The Air The Sun. We get a prompt each month and sometimes, when I'm inspired I write for this challenge.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything Twilight. That is all.
Drabble 1 - It's Really Over.
"You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on."
- David Harkins
He knew he shouldn't be here. He knew it was only going to make the pain worse to see the room left the same as it had always been. She hadn't packed her things either because she thought she would do it after or because she wanted to leave everything behind. A clean break. A new life. Forget the past.
He didn't want to go, but before he realized what he was doing, his hand was on the knob, the door cracked open and he was inside. The very second he stepped into the room, his chest heaved, his legs buckled under him, and his heart tore again. The bed was made, the closest was still full of her clothes, the desk was neat, the window open to let some air in. The sun was shining ironically. She loved the sun so much. It felt like she was going to join him at any moment even though he knew she couldn't. She was gone.
His hand trailed over the pictures on the wall, his eyes shedding more tears as the memories kept rushing in his mind. The beach, the garage, the rain. Watching TV, cooking, riding motorcycles. Everything was so fresh. He wanted everything to be the same again. He choked on his sobs, pulling his tie off to try to breathe correctly. He didn't like being so dressed up.
Once, he told her that when she'd be changed, she'd be as good as dead. He didn't really think that because he always hoped she would change her mind. He never thought he would have to attend her funeral. Her real one. Not a fake ceremony. If it had been the case, he wouldn't have bothered. If only he had tried harder… If only he had showed at the wedding… If only…
But he hadn't and she was gone. His heart ached at the thought that she would never smile, laugh or hold his hand. She was in a graveyard and he had nothing left. They had taken her life, they had killed her and he didn't even have the strength to be mad at them. He was left as empty as a shell. His air, his sun were gone from his world.
She had left a letter and that was the worst. She asked him to move on, to not linger on her memories. She was happy with the other, she didn't want him to be sad. She wanted him to live, laugh and love again. His life would be shorter than hers, he couldn't waste it. She was so sure she was going to live forever. She had been so wrong. And it wasn't worth it anymore.
Jacob lied on the bed, breathing in the scent that was still so much Bella. Jacob closed his eyes and cried.