AN: Some of you may notice I edited chapters 14 and 15. I removed the Bleach addition to the harem because I was struggling to figure out how that would work. SO SUCK IT UP, BUTTERCUPS!
Good News: No Homework
Better News: I have a new chapter!
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Bad News: I don't own anything!
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Disclaimer: The rights to Naruto, Rosario+Vampire, and To Love-Ru belong to a bunch of older men on the other side of the world...I shall now launch the missiles! Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!
The Kitsune Rebel of Yokai Academy
Naruto and Rawhead were glaring at the clerk seated behind their hotel's counter. The poor man just whimpered under their gaze before holding out a set of keys with a shaky hand.
"F-F-Free o-o-of c-charge," he said with a weak and forced smile. Naruto smirked and snatched the keys out of his hand, about facing and walking away before looking back at the still lingering Rawhead. The blonde sighed and walked back to his friend's side before smacking him upside the head.
"Oi!" the Scot exclaimed in shock and pain, "The fuck ya do tha' fer ya stupid idjiot?"
"One; I have the keys," Naruto said jingling said keys in Raw's face, "Two; the poor man is about to faint but wants to wait until we leave. And Three; your girlfriend is still waiting for us back in the room."
"Fuck you, arse-hole!" he received in an embarrassed reply. Naruto merely shrugged and turned around again as he walked away.
"I'll take a pass on that, thanks," he called back as he calmly strolled down the halls. Rawhead growled under his breath before sighing and rushing after the shinobi.
The two teens gone, the counterman weakly put a sign on the countertop that read 'Back in 5' before fainting dead on his feet.
"So let's list what we know about your girlfriend," the blonde started before dodging a punch in the head, "Oi!"
"The lass inn't me girl, Mr. Heffner," growled out the Scottish boogeyman. Naruto shrugged and resumed walking.
"Yeah, right, and I'm going to have to marry more than four women to rebuild one of my parents' clans, turn out to be a prince of a crushed nation, and discover an ability that causes me to be nearly immortal," snorted out the blonde Sharingan-gifted teen. Rawhead mumbled under his breath, but Naruto ignored it as he continued to talk, "Anyway, her name's Jeanie, no surname. She's a genie from a land called Arabia, but she doesn't have a lamp of some sort. She's still a virgin, which you should be happy about...Hey, what did I say about trying to shove me through a wall?"
"Nah, I'll pass. I'm not in the mood to eat shit. Hey! No touchy!"
Jeanie and Lala waited patiently for Naruto and Rawhead to return with their room key. The two of them were sitting with the other four girls along for the 'vacation' in the non-destroyed room belonging to Yukari and Tamao. The roommates were seated on their respective beds, Jeanie and Lala next to Yukari whilst Moka, who was still white haired and thus dubbed Ura-Moka by the inventive alien, and Kurumu sat next to the mermaid (although reluctantly).
"So let's get this all straight," Ura-Moka said with a small frown, "You want Naruto to remain...'pure'?"
Lala nodded her head eagerly, "Yeah! He's so sweet. I want his first time to be special!"
The four girls knowing otherwise sighed, already tired of trying to explain that their beau had been...deflowered by a priestess who bore his son. Moka and Kurumu were tired of it because of the reminder of their 'failure' to mark Naruto as their mate first was getting irritating, and Tamao and Yukari because they had accepted Lala could be, in certain situations, more stubborn than their beau.
Jeanie giggled at the alien's naivety before looking at the others, "What's this school you go to? Yokai..."
"Academy," a voice from the door answered, making the girls turn to see the only two boys on the trip enter the room. Naruto held the keys up and jingled them before tossing them at Lala, who caught them effortlessly, before smiling at Jeanie, "If you want though, Raw can explain everything tonight when you, Lala, he and I go out!"
"I d'na recall–ow!" Rawhead was silenced as Naruto jammed an elbow in his gut. The blonde glanced at his friend warningly, and the Scot swallowed before looking at the girls and smiling falsely, "Oh aye! Yes, er...My pal 'ere jus' fergot ta...ta remind me of how I suggested a double date-Uh I mean an outing!"
Best bullshitting I've heard from him yet, Naruto mused with a grin before looking back at the girls and seeing two of the six frown. Scratching his head, Naruto sighed, "Moka-chan, Kuru-chan, would the both of you like to join me for lunch so we can discuss our...dates? Lala-chan, I'd invite you, too but...we've got a date tonight so I think that'll make up for it."
Lala smiled innocently and nodded, "Okie-dokie, Naruto-kun! I can't wait for tonight!"
"Ooh, I have an idea!" Tamao suddenly cried, "Let's go shopping! Poor Jeanie needs something to wear other than her current clothes!"
"I'm in!" Yukari chimed, getting an equally excited nod from Lala. Naruto glanced at Rawhead and the Scot sighed.
"I'll...ugh, I'll help ya carry yer bags..." he said with a hung head. Naruto smiled and clapped a hand on the boogeyman's shoulder.
"Good man!" the blonde said, before hissing quietly through his grin, "This is payback, bitch."
"I fuckin' hate ya, Naruto...So much..."
Moka, Naruto and Kurumu met in the lobby after they had showered and redressed for a late lunch out of the hotel. Moka, who had replaced her Rosario, now wore a dark green blouse with a blue monarch butterfly on it, her shapely legs being protected from the windy city afternoon by a pair of jeans. She had a beaming smile on her face when Kurumu came down. The busty succubus had a V-neck shirt on, revealing quite the amount of cleavage (making the doorman faint from blood-loss), and a rather modest skirt despite her people's nature to reveal as much skin as possible.
When the blonde stepped down, both girls felt blushes come over their faces, as he did when he looked at them. Naruto was wearing an open blue plaid shirt over an (shockingly) orange muscle shirt and dark baggy denim jeans over his sandals. On his head, rather than the usual headband, he wore a black and blue bucket hat, causing his blonde hair to shade his eyes mysteriously.
Noticing their stares, Naruto smiled at the girls while forcing his blush down, "You both look lovely. It's a shame it's not our real dates..."
At that, Kurumu snapped from her stare and sauntered over to the blonde, trailing a finger down from the side of his jaw as she purred, "Oh, but my Koi, you've yet to see anything yet."
Moka, snapping herself from her own leer, appeared in front of the blonde by gently pushing Kurumu out of the way, making the bluenette stumble away towards the wall. The pinkette smiled up at the blonde nervously, "Y-You look very handsome, Naruto-kun."
Naruto smiled at the girl, his eyes shutting as he did so and giving him a more vulpine appearance, before he replied, "Thank you, Moka-chan. Like I said before, you both look beautiful, let's get some lunch then, shall we?"
"Hai!" the pinkette agreed, quickly latching onto his left arm. A pair of soft pillows suddenly pressed against his right arm and the blonde looked to see the sweetly smiling Kurumu latched onto him.
Well...ain't this a fuck-up waiting to happen? Naruto thought before smiling softly, "Then let's go. Anywhere specific you want to eat?"
"I saw a nice little bakery down the way," Kurumu said, pointing down the street to the right. Naruto looked at Moka and the vampire nodded, secretly hoping to get a drink of her favorite liquid later on. The blonde led them both towards the bakery, oblivious to the envious glares he got from many men and the leers sent his way by several women. The two girls hanging from his arms were glaring at the various looks they were attracting.
I'm afraid I'm gonna have to use a genjutsu to cover us...the blonde thought as he felt the girls on either of his arm radiate killing intent, Or clones to hold them back. Cripes...I hope the rest of the 'Starz' aren't dealing with this...
"Ah, Draco-san, thank you for staying with me while Naruto-kun left with the Newspaper club," Shion said as she changed Hige's diaper, the leader of the Mon Starz a good five feet away.
"It's no problem," Draco replied as he pinched his nose, "But damn...No offense, Shion-san, but your kid sure makes a mess..."
Shion giggled, her maternal training teaching her how to block certain scents with chakra, before replying, "Oh well, I'm sure Hige-chan gets that from Naruto-koi."
Draco smirked, "Makes sense. Poor guy got the worst week vacation, though..."
Shion nodded before gasping as she was assaulted by a vision.
Blitz and Sky were sitting with the glee club and the tech club watching a stage production of Hairspray. The couple had their hands intertwined and the Siren had her head on the Yeti's right shoulder. Mac was with his Gambler's Club in Vegas. The teenaged leprechaun was laughing madly as he won another round of Blackjack. There were two showgirls standing behind the winning redhead. Vern was with his extreme sports club somewhere in the Himalayas. The disguised dragon with her was rushing towards the Headmasters office.
Her vision jumped forward in time (how far she wasn't sure) and focused on her baby's father. Naruto was fighting some horde of grey human-like beings. He was covered in blood and was standing defensively in front of Yukari who was huddled next to what looked like a terrified brown-haired girl with her clothes torn and bloody. Moka was silver haired and kicking the attackers away. Kurumu had her claws extended and was slicing the beings apart while standing back to back with a violet haired girl growing ice-like claws.
The vision stopped.
Shion gasped loudly and braced herself against the changing table. Draco arched a brow, "Hey, you ok? I mean...You just zoned out there."
"I...It's nothing," Shion murmured before focusing on her crying son, "Oh no...No, baby shh...It's okay. Kaasan's here."
"Ah, looky-looky, Raw-kun!" Lala cried as she held up a skirt over Jeanie's waist, the magical girl blushing heavily, "Jean-chan will be so pretty with this on!"
Raw, who was plopped in a chair outside the dressing rooms of a woman's clothing store, groaned. They had been to three stores already, and the girls had bought more clothing than he expected them to get. Currently at his feet were twelve bags, four from each shop they had been to. The Scottish boogeyman rubbed his head, "Yea, yeah, Lala-san. I'm sure tha lass will be radiant..."
The genie in question flushed slightly, her eyes dropping to her feet in embarrassment. She hadn't been sincerely complimented before. The golden eyed genie glanced back at the uncomfortable looking Scotsman before muttering, "R-Raw looks rather uncomfortable, Lala..."
Lala blinked and Jeanie continued, "M-Maybe we should just go."
Yukari and Tamao whined while Raw's head snapped up and he mouthed the words, "Thank you!"
"So Naru-koi..." Kurumu started as she leant against Naruto's left shoulder in the bakery, "What are you planning to do for your and Lala's...date?"
He either didn't notice the growl in the last word or didn't call her on it, but Moka shot the bluenette a small glare. Naruto blinked stupidly before sheepishly replying, "Well...I honestly haven't a clue..."
The two girls frowned and glanced at each other. They silently agreed that his plan of asking them for help wouldn't do with a nod, and after ordering their meals; they led the blonde to a table, where they (surprisingly to him) sat on his opposite side.
"Let's see if we get this straight..." Kurumu growled quietly to the blonde, who realized he was now in hot water (although he didn't know why). She continued with a slightly raising voice, "You brought Akashiya and I out here...to help you with that...that slut's date?"
Naruto frowned and defended himself, "Kuru-chan, you're the one that asked me about Lala-chan's date. All I have so far is a double date with Raw and Jeanie-san, so he and I will be coming up with a plan. I invited you both out here to make one thing clear-"
A large explosion in the square of town that shook the entire block cut him off. Naruto dove at the girls when he saw a torched automobile flying at the window, knocking them out of the chairs and to the floor. He covered them with his body and waited until the car settled before pushing himself up, forgoing the genjutsu he had over his Sharingan eyes. He caught sight of Raw and the other girls, the Scot was being attacked by some cosplaying swordsman.
"Well, that can't be good!" Naruto muttered, jumping to his feet and looking around, people were screaming in fear and others were hurt from the flying vehicle. The blonde frowned and held his hands in his signature technique's hand seal, "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"
Forty duplicates of the blonde emerged after a large poof of smoke engulfed the area. Kurumu and Moka stared at the many blondes, but were jarred from their thoughts when the original began shouting out orders, "Break up in groups of ten. Group one, that's you idiots, get the injured out of here. Groups two and three, you're on crowd control. Group four, let's go kick some ass!"
"Hai oyabun!" the duplicates exclaimed before leaping off to do what they were ordered. The original ran towards his downed friend, a small chirping coming from his right hand. His eyes' tomoes spun wildly as they focused on the cosplaying fighter. As he neared the battle, he could hear the swordsman finish his sentence, "...Princess Lala. You must come with me, as ordered by your father."
"No! I wanna stay here and marry-" "Judori (Ten Birds)!" Naruto's exclamation cut the pinkette off as he drove his lightning encased fist in the ground where the swordsman once stood. The white haired swordsman narrowed his eyes at the blonde.
"NARUTO-KUN!" Tamao, Lala and Yukari exclaimed in surprise and elation. Naruto glanced at them before looking over at the grumbling boogeyman as he pushed himself to his feet.
"How in the hell did a shopping trip turn into a brawl with mister tights over there?" asked the blonde to his friend, who scowled.
"Shut it, ya soddy sonovabitch!" growled out the Scotsman. Raw cracked his neck and glared at the swordsman, "I'm a fist-fighter, not a dancer..."
The white haired man narrowed his eyes, "I'm a swordsman of the elite Deviluke army, part of the high guards for the royal family! My skills with a sword are unmatched throughout the universe!"
"That's what I said," Raw deadpanned, "A faggot that happens to be a dancer."
"Harsh, dude..." Naruto muttered. The swordsman grew a tick on his forehead and glared daggers at the Scotsman.
"You Earthlings...I was under the impression you were mere nuisances," he stated, making the boys growl, "Just little ape men that thought they were smart."
"Says the white haired human wannabe," Naruto shot back with a growl, "And for your information, we're not exactly human..."
The swordsman frowned and slipped into a ready stance, "Oh, then what planet are you from?"
Naruto and Raw smirked, the latter slowly slipping into the ground with his phantom-like powers, before both said, "We're from Earth."
"Zastin don't fight them!" Lala pleaded from the sidelines as she noted her former guardian's growing ire, "Naruto-kun isn't just a human!"
"I just said that, didn't I just say that?" Naruto whispered to the half-present Rawhead. The boogeyman nodded and looked around.
"We're clear for a few minutes. Take 'im down, Blondie," Raw muttered. Naruto cracked his neck and a gust of wind suddenly started to whip around him.
"With pleasure," the shinobi growled as his left hand became encased in the growing wind. Naruto clenched his left fist and there was a loud crack as he vanished from sight. Zastin's eyes widened as the blonde's fist connected with his face, small wind blades cutting him on impact. The white haired swordsman flew back a few feet before colliding with a parked car, leaving a sizable dent.
Naruto fell to a knee and panted. That technique wasn't ready just yet. He planned to encase his whole body in wind before he dished out a serving of ass-kicking awesomeness. The tomoe-eyed blonde's eyes widened when the alien suddenly appeared before him.
"Impressive," the swordsman stated before he attempted to slice the blonde in half. Naruto leapt out of the way and landed on the side of a building, making Zastin look at him with awe. The white haired alien narrowed his eyes and murmured, "Most impressive..."
"Oi! Don't go fergettin' about me!" Rawhead cried out as he shot up from the ground and drove his shoulder into the alien's stomach. Zastin let a gasp of pain escape his lips as the Scotsman drilled his shoulder into his gut, the redheaded Scot's momentum causing both of them to fly back into the same care he had dented before.
Rawhead growled and gripped Zastin's hair before driving his left fist into the alien's face again and again, "Ya like tha'? Huh? Ya son of a bitchin', girly-ass, cross-dressing, motherfucker!"
Zastin drove his free hand into the Scotsman's gut, making Rawhead stumble backwards as he tried to regain the air he lost from the counter. The alien didn't let up and he drove the pommel of his sword into the jaw of the coughing teen. Rawhead cried out in pain, only for his head snap to his left as Zastin delivered a left hook. The Scotsman was struck again with the pommel, this time in his solar plexus. Rawhead gasped loudly as the blow knocked the air from his lungs, before a left uppercut caused him to fly up and land with a rather loud impact on the concrete.
"And you're the one that the princess chose for her husband?" Zastin questioned in disbelief, "You're nothing more than a thug with parlor tricks...unfit for a kingdom as vast and influential as the Deviluke Kingdom."
Rawhead barked out a laugh through his hacking and spat a glob of blood to the side before looking up with humor at the swordsman, "Ya fuckin' idjiot...I ain't the one yer princess chose..."
Zastin furrowed his brow and turned around when he felt a tap on the shoulder, just in time to be hit in the face with a metal pipe. The swordsman stumbled backwards, falling over the downed Scot, and landed on his back with a grunt. He blinked a few times to see the blonde with tomoes in his eyes twirling the offending pipe in his right hand.
"Hello. My name is Naruto Uzumaki, shinobi, student, and apparently Lala's fiancée. I'm gonna kick your ass now," he said cheerfully before a blow to the back of the alien's head made him roll away from the two boys. A second blonde stood where Zastin previously sat, making the swordsman stare in astonishment.
"Three on one? What sort of fight is this?" Zastin asked with a scowl, "It's not honorable!"
"What part of 'shinobi' didn't you understand, dumbass?" Naruto deadpanned with a frown. The swordsman furrowed his brows in confusion and Naruto smirked, "Oh, I see...first time fighting a ninja, eh? Well you're gonna love this then."
Both the visible blondes vanished in puffs of smoke, leaving only a recovering Rawhead. Zastin looked around in preparation to fight only to stop when the blonde suddenly landed in front of him and clasped tightly onto the white haired alien's face.
"Tsukuyomi!" Naruto announced his technique's name before Zastin found himself succumbing to unconsciousness.
He blinked several times and found himself bound to a cross. A crunching got his attention and he looked up to see the blonde warrior, Naruto, standing a few feet away with an apple in hand. Only now, the blonde was dressed in light armor, a headband around his head, and his eyes were solid red.
"Wh-What sorcery is this?" Zastin asked with wide eyes, struggling to free himself, "What sort of mental traumatizing machine have you obtained?"
Naruto chewed and donned a thinking face before he spoke, "Ya know...I don't think anyone I've brought here has ever asked what machine or sorcery this was...Congrats!"
"I demand you answer me!" Zastin snarled. Naruto tossed the apple away and vanished before reappearing in front of the alien.
"You're in no position to make demands, pretty-boy!" the blonde snarled before backhanding the swordsman. When Zastin looked back up, Naruto took a good look into his eyes and he blinked before smirking, "So...you've never killed anyone, have you?"
"W-What?" Zastin asked with wide eyes.
Naruto's smirk fell into a smile and he nodded, "Good. I can trust you."
"...Come again?" the alien asked in disbelief. Naruto sighed and a chair appeared behind both of them. Zastin found himself free of his binds and looked at his torturer. Naruto gestured to the chair.
"Take a seat. I wanna talk," he said. Zastin looked at him wearily and mentally debated the consequences of not doing what Naruto suggested, before relenting and taking a seat.
Rawhead waved his hand in front of Naruto's open eyes before looking at the girls, "This ever happen before?"
Moka frowned and shook her head before replying, "No. Usually he wakes up a second later after using that..."
"Do you think he overpowered the yokai Naruto-koi uses in his technique?" Kurumu asked Moka, "You know, like the other you did?"
Moka shook her head, "Ura told me it took a lot of our yokai to interfere with Naruto-kun's Tsukuyomi. We probably couldn't do it again if either of us tried."
"Maybe they're talking," Tamao mused as she looked at her chosen mate's frozen state, "We don't know how long we're in there...he says he can distort time, right?"
"Yeah, but when he captured the few of you in the Mon Starz base, ya were out for a minute..." Rawhead answered before cupping his chin, "There's no way of knowing how long they could be under."
"Maybe it depends on the mental training and the amount of minds," Jeanie spoke, getting everyone's attention and making her shrink under their gaze, "I, I mean it could be that..."
"Jeanie-san's right!" Yukari said with a proud nod, "The mental power of this alien guy might be stronger than ours, but then again he was trained to be a bodyguard loyal to only Lala's family. Naruto-sensei must have had to sacrifice his ability to alter time in order to capture Zastin's mind..."
"We'll just have to ask him when he snaps out of it," Lala mused before looking worriedly at Zastin, "...Daddy must be really mad if he sent Zastin..."
"No, your father isn't mad, Princess Lala," The alien in question said suddenly, making the group jump back and those that could fell into fighting stances. Zastin fell to his knees before the princess and spoke again, "Your father is just worried. I will send word you found a suitable husband!"
"You dumbass! You were supposed to talk her out of it!" Naruto cried out as he rubbed his eyes, "Goddamn my eyes hurt!"
"How could I talk her out of a perfect candidate such as yourself?" Zastin asked incredulously to the blonde, looking up at the princess, "You have chosen well, Princess. He has seen many battles and has fought for the only thing that matters, his family and friends! He shows the wisdom of a good king in progress and has a kind heart. His genetics will bear strong heirs to the crown as well!"
"DUDE/WHAT?" Naruto and the rest of the Yokai Academy girls cried out. Lala released a squeal of joy and latched onto the blonde in a glomp.
Zastin stood and continued, "I will send word to your father that I approve of your marriage and I will accompany you back to this...Yokai Academy so your relationship can flourish!"
Naruto groaned and covered his face with one hand, and an amused Rawhead looked at his friend, "Yer th' only one I know tha' would be distraught over havin' such a pretty girl engaged to ye."
"Yuk it up, Scotty-Boy..." Naruto growled with a raised fist towards his laughing friend.
"Wait until the guys hear about this!"
"THEY BETTER NOT!"
AN: Ahh...after a long absence, I HAVE RETURNED to this story! My story to be revived is coming along nicely. Just a few more weeks...Don't give me those looks! I have school still...and then Universal Studios...